The author experienced a panic attack on national television while reporting live as a news anchor. This led him to explore the world of meditation as a way to calm his mind and overcome his anxiety.
Meditation involves sitting comfortably and focusing on your breath. It can be done anywhere by anyone.
Some people define ego as the part of us that’s self-serving. Freud defines it as the mediator between morality and base desires. The most helpful way to define the ego is “the inner voice in your head that guides your behavior.” By recognizing the influence of our ego and learning to control it, we can improve our overall happiness and well-being.
The ego is insatiable. It always wants more than it currently has, regardless of how much has been acquired, because it’ll repeatedly reset the baseline for happiness. It is what makes wealthy people crave more wealth and beautiful people agonize over their appearance.
The ego prevents us from enjoying the present and keeps us mired in the past and stressed about the future. It is what drives us to complain to our spouse about work problems and lose sleep over thoughts about retirement.
Our ego and sense of self is an illusion created by our brains. Meditation can help us see through this illusion and develop a more objective perspective. You might find peace and clarity when you realize you don’t need to believe everything your mind tells you.
Practicing mindfulness through meditation can help control and let go of the ego and improve decision-making by allowing us to respond, not react.
Research shows that practicing mindfulness actually increases gray matter in the brain associated with compassion and self-awareness, and reduces areas associated with stress.
Metta meditation is a type of meditation focused on cultivating feelings of love and kindness towards oneself and others. It involves thinking about a benefactor (e.g., yourself, a person who you’re in conflict with, all beings) and repeating a mantra in your head. An example mantra is “May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, may you live with ease.”
Compassion for yourself allows you to accept your flaws and improves your decision-making. Studies show that practitioners of self-compassion meditation engage in healthier behaviors (e.g., eats healthy, quits smoking).
One experiment found that people who meditated are more empathetic, social, laughed more, and used the word “I” less.
Letting go of your ego does not mean you should neglect your needs, become a pushover, or become unproductive. In fact, practicing mindfulness can make you more creative and productive by clearing your mind of unhelpful assumptions and routines, and allowing space for new ideas.
The author produced significantly more great ideas while he was on a meditation retreat than when he was in his usual noisier environment.
Controlling your urges can be more satisfying than indulging in them.
High levels of stress or the need for competition are not necessary to incite success.
Buddhist teachings say we automatically respond to things in three ways:
Want (e.g., when we crave delicious food)
Reject (e.g., when we swat away bugs)
Zone out (e.g., when we stop listening to a monotonous lecture)
Mindfulness arms us with another way of responding: observe without judgment.
Meditation cultivates mindfulness by teaching us to observe our thoughts and emotions without judgment, and enables us to notice discomforts without reacting impulsively.
For example, if you’re stuck in a long line at the grocery store, instead of getting frustrated by the experience, mindfulness helps you to remain calm and happy by noticing your feelings objectively and then letting them pass.
“The only way out is through.” (Buddhist proverb)
Studies have shown that meditation has numerous mental and physical benefits:
Increases patience, compassion, empathy, focus, resilience, impulse control, and overall well-being
Reduces toxic stress chemicals released from our “fight or flight” system, thus lowering blood pressure and reduces the risk of cardiovascular diseases
Helps in managing depression and addictions (e.g., drugs, smoking, food)
Alleviates stress and feelings of loneliness
Increased compassion for self and others
Reduces the symptoms of asthma, psoriasis, ADHD, and irritable bowel syndrome
The author once tried to repress his negative emotions by substance abuse. This led him to his panic attack at work.
To effectively manage negative emotions, first recognize its existence, then “let it be”, analyze its effects on you, and finally separate yourself from its effects (non-identification).
The author used this method when he was stressed about a promotion. First, he acknowledged that he’s stressed, then he let himself be okay with being stressed, next he observed the effects of his stress (chest palpitations), finally he affirmed himself that his stress is ephemeral and not a permanent part of him. This prevented him from being perpetually stressed out.

12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos

Jordan Peterson

A thought-provoking self-help book that provides practical guidance on how to navigate life's challenges and find meaning and purpose in an increasingly complex world.

3.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Rule 1: Having a good and upright posture will give you an advantage
The phrase "pecking order" comes from the fact that the healthiest and strongest chickens will always get to eat first when the feed comes. This hierarchy is prevalent among all animals, including humans.
Humans naturally associate one's physicality with their ability and intelligence. Standing up straight with your shoulders back will automatically make you seem more capable, or higher on the pecking order.
Rule 2: Care for your yourself as you would care for a loved one
People follow the vet's prescriptions for their pets, but one-third of people don't follow their doctor's prescriptions for themselves. We take better care of our pets than ourselves.
We are conscious of our flaws and we all have some degree of self-loathing. As a result, we foster a sense of unworthiness of feeling good and create unnecessary self-punishment.
We need to do what is best for us and not what is the easiest or make us the happiest. For example, as children we brush our teeth even though we might not enjoy it. We did it because it should be done.
Rule 3: Choose friends that won't drag you down and want the best for you
Studies have shown that when an underperformer in the workplace is placed among high performers, the underperformer's work quality does not improve, and the high performers actually adapted the underperformer's bad habits and their work quality decreased. In other words, the underperformer will negatively influence the high performers.
It is important to have friends that are supportive and won't negatively influence you. An indicator of a good friend is that they won't let you wallow in negativity and will push you towards the right direction.
Rule 4: Do not compare yourself to others, but to your past self
Self-criticism can be helpful, as it motivates us to become better. However, when we base our self-criticism on other people, it is always a losing game because there will always be someone better in some way due to different circumstances.
When we measure our success against other people, it then becomes a win-or-lose situation, and we lose track of the important progress and incremental growth we make. It is far more effective to improve upon your former achievements.
Rule 5: As a parent, it is your obligation to raise a responsible child
Humans are born with innate aggressive instincts. It is up to the parents to cultivate the children so that they become responsible adults.
If the children don't learn to become responsible from the parents, they will eventually learn it from other less effective ways that won't involve love or understanding.
Limit the rules given to the children, and keep them simple. Too many complex rules will frustrate the children.
Use the minimum necessary force to correct a misbehavior, and make the consequences clear for infractions. Sometimes a timeout is required, other times a disappointed look could be enough.
Parent the children in pairs -- the parents should always be on the same page.
Rule 6: Take responsibility of your own life before you blame the unfair world
Russian writer, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, fought the Nazis as a communist and was imprisoned by his own state in a Russian gulag after World War II. However, he didn't wallow in the unfairness of his situation. Instead, he wrote The Gulag Archipelago, an influential book documenting his experiences. The book diminished Stalin's support worldwide and made a historical impact. It is now required reading for Russian schools.
There will always be injustices in the world, but there will also always be a way for you to influence your own life for the better.
Rule 7: Seek meaningful goals over instant gratification
We should do what is right and not what is expedient. If we gave into the temptation of instant gratification, we would develop bad habits like binge eating, alcoholism, drug abuse, etc.
Sacrifices need to be made in the short term to obtain long term success and happiness. We should be like the lotus flower -- it starts in darkness at the bottom of the lake and methodically climbs up until it reaches above the surface to blossom.
Rule 8: Tell the truth and don't lie
Friedrich Nietzsche said the measurement of a person's strength is determined by how much undiluted truth they can tolerate.
Many people tell life-lies to themselves. Psychologist Alfred Adler defines life-lies as unrealistic or poorly thought-out life goals that we are trying to achieve. Believing in life-lies will lead you astray and bring undesirable consequences.
Our ideas and life goals should be flexible and change as our worldview and circumstances change.
Rule 9: Don't treat conversations as competitions, but as opportunities to learn
Socrates is considered as one of the wisest men in history because of his admission that he knew nothing, and this trait allowed him to be open to learn from everyone around him.
Having a conversation should be similar to thinking. In other words, you should always be exploring two sides of an issue.
If you treat a conversation as a competition you won't be learning or growing, as you will only care about validating and reinforcing your own ideas.
To be a better conversationalist, try to listen and summarize what the other person says. It will ensure that you've understood them correctly, help you remember what they said, and avoid distorting any details in order to confirm your own biases.
You will be wrong at times, and it will be difficult to change your preconceptions and ideas, but you will be learning and growing.
Rule 10: Use precise and clear language
When you're sick and visiting a doctor, you should try to describe your symptoms and the events that led to your sickness as precisely and clearly as you can so the doctor can diagnose you more accurately and quickly. The same principle should be applied to other areas in your life. For example, if you're unhappy with something that your spouse did, be honest, clear, and precise in telling them about it. Do not be vague. This will make life easier for both parties.
Rule 11: Don't bother kids when they are skateboarding
The author posits that when kids are skateboarding, they are practicing their innate ability and desire to conquer fear and embrace danger. This human nature, which has pushed human progress, should be encouraged and not repressed.
The author argues we should better our society by empowering disadvantaged people, and not by eradicating or repressing advantaged people.
Rule 12: Enjoy the small joys in life
Life can be painful and full of sorrows. The author's daughter has been managing severe arthritis since she was six. She has suffered constant pain and endured multiple surgeries. The author argues that it is because of these difficulties that make the small joys so meaningful.
"When you love someone, it's not despite their limitations. It's because of their limitations."
If you encounter a street cat, make sure to pay attention to it and pet it, it'll offer you solace from the hardships in your life.

The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9–5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich

Tim Ferriss

A guide on how to escape the 9-5 rat race and achieve your ideal lifestyle.

3.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The New Rich (NR) is a subculture that values mobility and financial freedom. Unlike the Old Rich, they are not limited by property or location and have achieved their wealth through automating their income and developing successful products. They are not born into money, but have gained financial independence and control over their time.
The NR prioritize living luxuriously in the present, rather than deferring life for retirement. They understand the freedom associated with being a millionaire can be achieved without a large bank account. Flexibility and mobility are important for living a life of luxury, which cannot be achieved through a traditional workweek.
The NR works according to the DEAL formula (Definition, Elimination, Automation, Liberation).
Definition refers to redefining your goals. Don’t ask “What do I want?” or “What are my goals?”, instead ask “What would excite me?”
Many people see retirement as their goal, they are called deferrers and they are letting their lives pass by. The NR have mini-retirements where they take frequent two-week to two-month vacations in which they completely remove themselves from work and stress.
One mistake people make when setting goals is starting small instead of aiming for big, "unrealistic" goals. There are fewer competitors at the top, making it surprisingly easy to achieve seemingly impossible goals.
The author gives an example of challenging students to contact a famous person and ask three questions. Everyone failed -- they didn't even try because they were intimidated by the task. The seemingly impossible goal was actually trivial -- if a student had simply asked the author three questions, they would’ve won the challenge.
Do not wait for the perfect moment to quit your job to become a part of the NR, as that moment will never come. Waiting is a sign of fear of the unknown, one must trust themselves and take the leap.
Focus on your effectiveness (completing important tasks) over your efficiency (completing work in the most economical way possible).
Optimizing your door-to-door salesmen route is being efficient, replacing the salesmen with a digital campaign is being effective.
The 80/20 rule states that roughly 80% of your work output results from 20% of your effort. Find your 20% and focus on it.
The 80/20 rule applies to the normal workweek, where little time is spent on being productive and the majority of the time is spent being active (doing unimportant tasks to seem busy).
Manage your time wisely. Remember Parkinson’s Law: work expands to fill the time available for its completion. In other words, the more time we have to complete a task, the more time we will spend on it, regardless of its actual complexity.
Try to compress your productive time by ending the day at 4pm or ending the week on Thursdays.
Elimination in the DEAL formula refers to reducing time-wasters, or things (e.g., social media, web browsing) that don’t have negative consequences if ignored.
Create daily to-do lists. Determine what’s important by asking, “Would I be happy if this task ends up being the only one I complete today?”
Stop multitasking. Close all distractions such as email, instant messenger, and irrelevant websites while working on a task. By focusing on one task at a time, the task can be completed faster and with more quality.
Meetings should only be held when there is an important decision to be made, and conversations should quickly turn to the subject at hand.
Practice selective ignorance by going on a strict information diet. This includes not consuming any information that doesn't pertain to work or well-being. Use sites like NewsAsFacts.com to keep informed more efficiently.
To be productive, it is important to prioritize important tasks that bring you closer to your personal goals. You should do these important tasks in the morning and leave less important tasks like answering non-urgent emails for later in the day.
Reading and answering emails twice a day (once in the afternoon, once in the evening) and setting up an auto-response to inform others of your new habit can help you limit time spent on emails. By letting small tasks accumulate in your inbox, you can deal with them all at once and save time.
Automation, which is key to creating an income while you are not working. To establish an automated revenue stream, you need to create a business that can run itself without much effort on your part. This involves partnering with other companies to handle tasks and hiring virtual assistants to take care of administrative work. Virtual assistants can be contracted from anywhere in the world and their cost can be justified by the time saved.
Virtual assistants from India are affordable and can be better than native English speaking VAs.
Liberation means the ability to work remotely. It’s possible to achieve even for office workers. The steps to do so are:
Increase your value to the company
Prove increased output when working remotely
Quantify the business benefit
Propose a trial period
Expand the time you work remotely
To create an automated income stream, you need a product (your muse) to sell. Instead of reselling an existing product, it is better to design your own product with higher profit margins.
Your muse is a product that can generate income with minimal effort from you. Look for a niche that you’re familiar with that does not require a large upfront investment.
It is important to outperform the competition and establish your expertise and strengths in your field. This can be done by attaining indicators of credibility, such as a PhD, or by attending seminars and conducting research.
Test the market before investing too much time and money into a product. You can offer a hypothetical product to actual customers and see how they react.
Johanna tested demand for her yoga course for climbers through Google AdWords for her website before producing a DVD. By analyzing click and conversion rates, she was able to measure demand and the search terms’ effectiveness.
To make a product successful, you should be able to summarize its purpose in one sentence.
Apple’s description for the iPod was “1,000 songs in your pocket.”
Do not offer too many options for your product. It will likely decrease the chances of someone buying because of decision paralysis.
Set a high price point and make bold claims for your product to confer prestige and confidence.
Domino’s pizza promised to deliver your pizza within 30 minutes, or your pizza is free.
Author’s BodyQUICK supplement guaranteed its effectiveness within 60 minutes, or the product plus 10% of the price would be refunded.
Don’t be afraid to abandon failed projects and be aware of the sunk cost fallacy, which is a cognitive bias that causes people to continue investing in something because they have already invested resources (such as time, money, or effort) into it, even if continued investment would not be the best decision.
Always remember to have a positive self-perception and take pleasure in life.

21 Lessons for the 21st Century

Yuval Noah Harari

An exploration of the key political, technological, social, and existential challenges facing humanity in the modern age.

5.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Disillusionment: The End of History Has Been Postponed. Political disillusionment spreads through simple stories rather than facts and data, which led to ideologies like fascism and communism gaining traction in the past. Any new ideology seeking relevance must make sense of artificial intelligence, big data, and bioengineering within a meaningful narrative.
“Humans were always far better at inventing tools than using them wisely. It is easier to manipulate a river by building a dam than it is to predict all the complex consequences this will have for the wider ecological system. Similarly, it will be easier to redirect the flow of our minds than to divine what that will do to our personal psychology or to our social systems.”
Work: When You Grow Up, You Might Not Have a Job. Automation and AI pose a threat to human employment across numerous industries, potentially creating a new "useless class" without economic value. While some new jobs may be created, there might not be enough to compensate for the losses. This could necessitate exploring new models like universal basic income. However, AI can also eliminate mundane tasks and let humans focus on more meaningful and enjoyable work.
Those who cooperate with AI will do better than those who do not.
AI will benefit us in many ways. For example, self-driving cars can significantly reduce the number of fatal car crashes.
Liberty: Big Data Is Watching You. Elections are based on feelings rather than rational thinking. However, despite the flaws of democracy, it is still viewed as better than the alternatives. Big data and AI have the potential to make political decisions in the future, rendering democratic elections unnecessary as we increasingly rely on algorithms for everything from finance to warfare.
Israeli forces use extensive data monitoring and analysis to control the Palestinian population in the West Bank. For example, in 2017, a Palestinian laborer posted a photo with a bulldozer on Facebook, captioned “Good morning!” However, an algorithm mistranslated it as “Kill them.” Mistakenly suspecting a terrorist threat, Israeli security forces arrested the laborer and ultimately released him after realizing the error.
“We will increasingly rely on algorithms to make decisions for us, but it is unlikely that the algorithms will start to consciously manipulate us. They won’t have any consciousness. Science fiction tends to confuse intelligence with consciousness and assume that in order to match or surpass human intelligence, computers will have to develop consciousness... Intelligence is the ability to solve problems. Consciousness is the ability to feel things such as pain, joy, love, and anger. We tend to confuse the two because in humans and other mammals intelligence goes hand in hand with consciousness. Mammals solve most problems by feeling things. Computers, however, solve problems in a very different way.”
Equality: Those Who Own the Data Own the Future. While globalization was supposed to promote equality, the rise of AI and biotechnology may instead create the most unequal societies in history, with a small elite owning the data and technology to enhance themselves into a superior caste or species. To prevent this dystopian scenario of a mass underclass becoming irrelevant, the key question to answer is who owns and controls the data -- corporations, governments, individuals, or a collective ownership model?
Community: Humans Have Bodies. Online communities cannot truly replace the depth and physical connections of offline communities, as humans have bodies and senses that require grounding in the physical world. For community-building efforts to succeed, they may need to adopt a new model that encourages more offline interaction and doesn't just treat humans as "audiovisual animals" absorbed in online worlds.
Civilization: There Is Just One Civilization in the World. Despite claims of a "clash of civilizations" (e.g., the West vs. Islam), the world has become increasingly homogenized, from political systems to economic models to views of the human body and natural world.
Nationalism: Global Problems Need Global Answers. Patriotism recognizes a nation's uniqueness, while nationalism falsely believes in a nation's superiority. To counteract nationalism and make progress, we need to think globally.
Religion: God Now Serves the Nation. While traditional religions are largely irrelevant for solving technical and policy problems in the modern world, they remain extremely relevant to identity problems (like nationalism) that divide humanity into different groups.
Religious traditions can turn tiny variations, like wording in a creed, into major points of division (e.g., Eastern Orthodox vs. Western Christians).
Immigration: Some Cultures Might Be Better than Others. Some argue for equal treatment of all cultures, while others contend certain cultures are more welcoming and aligned with liberal ideals, providing justification for prioritizing immigrants from those backgrounds. The latter view (culturist) holds that, unlike racism's flawed biological basis, cultural differences can have real impacts, though culturist claims risk overgeneralizing groups and stereotyping individuals unfairly.
Terrorism: Don’t Panic. The overreaction to terrorism is more dangerous than terrorism itself. Terrorists kill about 25,000 people a year while air pollution kills seven million a year. Governments should take a more measured, clandestine counterterrorism approach to avoid stoking unnecessary fear in its people and undermining other priorities like curbing climate change.
War: Never Underestimate Human Stupidity. War has been a driver of empire building throughout history, but major powers today struggle to wage successful wars that produce economic gains. However, human stupidity should not be underestimated as a potential catalyst for senseless violence despite the diminishing returns of war.
Modern warfare will consist more of information technology and biotechnology than conventional military weapons.
Humility: You Are Not the Center of the World. Most religions and cultures inaccurately view themselves as the central driving force of human progress, when in reality universal traits like morality, spirituality, and creativity evolved long before any modern religion. Cultivating true humility -- recognizing one's small place in the grand scope of human achievement across cultures -- would be a positive development for people of all faiths and backgrounds.
God: Don’t Take the Name of God in Vain. Belief in gods is not necessary for morality, as morality arises naturally from reducing suffering for oneself and others. No one wants to live in an immoral society. Secular philosophies can provide ethical frameworks just as effectively as religions.
“Morality doesn’t mean ‘following divine commands’. It means ‘reducing suffering’. Hence in order to act morally, you don’t need to believe in any myth or story. You just need to develop a deep appreciation of suffering.”
Secularism: Acknowledge Your Shadow. Secularism is defined by a commitment to truth based on evidence, compassion, and equality by rejecting hierarchies -- values shared across religions. Secularism encourages acknowledging its blind spots, rather than claiming infallibility, as humility is needed to pursue truth and reduce suffering.
“Questions you cannot answer are usually far better for you than answers you cannot question.”
Ignorance: You Know Less than You Think. The key to human success in the modern world is our ability to think together in large groups. No individual can fully comprehend the complexities of the modern world. There is a "knowledge illusion" -- the idea that we know far less than we think, and that we heavily rely on others’ skills and knowledge.
“Individual humans know embarrassingly little about the world, and as history has progressed, they have come to know less and less. A hunter-gatherer in the Stone Age knew how to make her own clothes, how to start a fire, how to hunt rabbits, and how to escape lions. We think we know far more today, but as individuals, we actually know far less. We rely on the expertise of others for almost all our needs.”
Justice: Our Sense of Justice Might Be Out of Date. Our sense of justice evolved to deal with small-scale hunter-gatherer societies, but fails to grasp the complexities of a globalized world with millions of interconnected people. It has become extremely difficult to understand the full impacts of our actions and know if we are inadvertently contributing to injustice.
Post-Truth: Some Fake News Lasts Forever. Humans have always lived in an era of "post-truth", relying on fictions and myths to unite groups and enable cooperation, from ancient religions to modern national ideologies. While some level of shared fiction is necessary for social cohesion, we should strive to distinguish reality from fiction, especially on important issues, by insisting on reliable sources and consulting scientific literature.
“We certainly need good science, but from a political perspective, a good science-fiction movie is worth far more than an article in Science or Nature.”
Science Fiction: The Future Is Not What You See in the Movies. Science fiction plays a pivotal role in shaping how people understand emerging technologies like AI, but often depicts problematic tropes like conscious machines rebelling against humans rather than grappling with the real threat of algorithms empowering an elite and disempowering the masses.
Education: Change Is the Only Constant. Education needs to shift from imparting predetermined skills and information, most of which will be obsolete in a few years, to teaching critical thinking, communication, collaboration, creativity, and mental flexibility to deal with rapid change.
Meaning: Life Is Not a Story. Meaning arises not from grand cosmic narratives, but from acknowledging the reality of suffering and impermanence. All stories that claim to provide permanent meaning are fictions produced by the human mind. True understanding comes from directly observing reality, especially the inevitability of suffering, rather than getting trapped in imagined dramas and identities.
“The Buddha taught that the three basic realities of the universe are that everything is constantly changing, nothing has any enduring essence, and nothing is completely satisfying… Suffering emerges because people fail to appreciate this. They believe that there is some eternal essence somewhere, and if only they can find it and connect to it, they will be completely satisfied. This eternal essence is sometimes called God, sometimes the nation, sometimes the soul, sometimes the authentic self, and sometimes true love -- and the more people are attached to it, the more disappointed and miserable they become when they fail to find it. Worse yet, the greater the attachment, the greater the hatred such people develop toward any person, group, or institution that seems to stand between them and their cherished goal.”
Meditation: Just Observe. Meditation allows one to directly observe the reality of their own mind, rather than relying on secondhand accounts. By focusing attention on bodily sensations and mental reactions, one can uncover the basic patterns of the mind and recognize that suffering arises from the mind's reactions rather from external conditions. While ancient cultures developed meditation techniques for this purpose, modern science could greatly benefit from incorporating such firsthand methods of studying consciousness alongside current tools focused on the brain.

The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing: Violate Them at Your Own Risk

Al Ries and Jack Trout

Master the art and science of marketing with the 22 principles that have shaped the world’s most powerful brands.

4.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The Law of Leadership: It’s better to be first than it is to be better.
Being first in a category is more important than having a better product. People tend to favor the first brand they encounter, even if later iterations are objectively superior. This holds true across various industries, from cars and computers to media and medicine.
The Law of the Category: If you can’t be first in a category, set up a new category you can be first in.
It's easier to promote a new category than compete with established brands.
Charles Schwab wasn’t successful because he was the first broker, he was successful because he was the first discount broker.
The Law of the Mind: It’s better to be first in the mind than it is to be first in the marketplace.
Focus on creating a simple, memorable impression at the outset, as changing entrenched opinions is an uphill battle.
IBM wasn't the first to introduce mainframe computers (it was Remington Rand), but better marketing made them the mindshare leader.
The Law of Perception: Marketing is not a battle of products, it’s a battle of perception.
Objective truth doesn't exist, perceptions do. Changing minds is tough, so focus on shaping how customers first perceive your brand vs. fighting facts.
While Honda sells cars in both the US and Japan, it ranks far lower in its home market due to differing consumer perceptions. In the US, Honda is known for cars, while in Japan, it's known for motorcycles, and Japanese consumers hesitate to buy a car from a motorcycle company.
The Law of Focus: The most powerful concept in marketing is owning a word in the prospect’s mind.
Owning a word allows a company to stand for something specific, like BMW owning "driving" (“The ultimate driving machine” is their slogan). Owning a word helps brands become leaders and simplifies their message, but picking the right word is crucial.
The Law of Exclusivity: Two companies cannot own the same word in the prospect’s mind.
Focus on finding a unique word for your brand.
Don't attempt to own a word already claimed by a competitor. You'll only reinforce their position. Examples like FedEx trying to take "worldwide" from DHL and Burger King chasing "fast" vs. McDonald's demonstrate the futility of fighting for pre-owned words.
The Law of the Ladder: The strategy to use depends on which rung you occupy on the ladder.
Know where you stand in the prospect’s mind and act accordingly. Don’t pretend you’re the top choice/rung when you’re not.
Car rental company Avis failed with generic "finest" claims due to its No. 2 position to Hertz. After owning their underdog status with the "We try harder" message, it turned losses into profits.
The Law of Duality: In the long run, every market becomes a two-horse race.
Most markets settle into a two-horse race with a dominant leader and an upstart challenger.
Brands on the third rung struggle and often disappear as customers gravitate towards the top two. Knowing this can help companies plan their strategies for long-term success.
While exceptions exist, focusing on the top two spots is crucial for success in the long run.
The Law of the Opposite: If you’re shooting for second place, your strategy is determined by the leader.
Study the leader and leverage its strengths into weaknesses. Don't try to emulate, offer the opposite. For example, if the leader is premium, you should consider being affordable, and vice versa.
Beck’s beer was not the first imported or German beer in the US. It repositioned itself for success with the slogan “You’ve tasted the German beer that’s the most popular in America. Now taste the German beer that’s the most popular in Germany.”
The Law of Division: Over time, a category will divide and become two or more categories.
Categories in marketing constantly subdivide, becoming distinct entities with separate leaders. Companies trying to stretch established brands across these divisions often fail. Instead, success lies in embracing the Law of Division through targeted brands for each unique segment.
Volkswagen's success with the smaller Beetle led them to overextend the brand with bigger models. This mistake to diversify and failure to adapt to the growing small-car market caused their US share to plummet from 67% to 4%.
The Law of Perspective: Marketing effects take place over an extended period of time.
Sales, discounts, or coupons initially boost sales but might damage brand image and hurt long-term profits. Line extension can quickly boost sales of new products but often cannibalizes sales of existing products, eventually leading to decline.
The Law of Line Extension: There’s an irresistible pressure to extend the equity of a brand.
Dominant brands like IBM, Microsoft, and GM often fall into the line extension trap by trying to enter too many new product categories and end up as less competitive "jacks of all trades," while more focused competitors thrive.
Companies need the courage to launch new brands positioned as first in their categories or as clear alternatives to the leader.
The Law of Sacrifice: You have to give up something in order to get something.
In marketing, success often lies in sacrifice. You should focus on a specific product line, target market, and marketing message, instead of trying to appeal to everyone with everything. Examples like Federal Express focusing on overnight packages and Marlboro on cowboys illustrate how narrowing your focus can lead to greater market share than diversification.
Staying consistent with your message over time builds brand recognition and prevents losing your position.
The Law of Attributes: For every attribute, there is an opposite, effective attribute.
Don’t copy your competitor. Find an opposite and unique attribute.
If your competitor owns "cavities prevention" in toothpaste, focus on a less dominant but still valuable attribute like "whitening."
Small attributes can grow big, like "small and personal" computers challenging IBM's "big and powerful" ones.
Don't laugh at new, opposite attributes your competitor introduces, learn from them and adapt (e.g., Gillette entering the disposable razors market).
Identify and focus on the opposite demographic (e.g, Burger King targeting adults instead of McDonald's focus on kids).
The Law of Candor: When you admit a negative, the prospect will give you a positive.
Candor disarms your audience and opens their minds to your message.
Listerine admitted its bad taste ("The taste you hate twice a day") and emphasized its germ-killing power. This candor turned a weakness into a strength.
The Law of Singularity: In each situation, only one move will produce substantial results.
Focus on one bold stroke instead of scattered efforts.
Coke’s “New Coke” was a distraction and failure. Its success came from focusing on its original classic product.
The Law of Unpredictability: Unless you write your competitors’ plans, you can’t predict the future.
Predicting the future in marketing is futile due to the unpredictable competition.
Focus on long-term trends, like Domino’s did with home delivery and Healthy Choice did with healthy eating.
Build organizational flexibility to adapt to change quickly.
The Law of Success: Success often leads to arrogance, and arrogance to failure.
The arrogance from previous success can lead companies to ignore customer needs and market shifts.
Stay objective and avoid injecting ego into marketing.
CEOs must stay connected to the front lines and prioritize direct observations.
The Law of Failure: Failure is to be expected and accepted.
Companies often cling to failing ventures due to ego or personal agendas.
Embrace experimentation and cultivate an environment where ideas are judged on merit, not personal gain.
The Law of Hype: The situation is often the opposite of the way it appears in the press.
New products that promise to revolutionize entire industries often fail to live up to the hype and disappear quickly.
Real innovation arrives quietly and gradually, not with fanfare and front-page headlines.
“When things are going well, a company doesn’t need the hype. When you need the hype, it usually means you’re in trouble.”
The Law of Acceleration: Successful programs are not built on fads, they’re built on trends.
Fads are short-lived. Companies exploiting fads often over expand and crash when the fad fades.
Focus on long-term demand. One way to maintain long-term demand is by never fully satisfying it.
Elvis's manager, Colonel Parker, kept appearances and records rare, making each one a major event.
The Law of Resources: Without adequate funding an idea won’t get off the ground.
“An idea without money is worthless.”
“Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak had a great idea. But it was Mike Markkula’s $91,000 that put Apple Computer on the map.”
The rich tend to get richer because they have the resources in marketing to drive their ideas into the mind. Smaller marketers face an unfair fight against giant corporations' massive marketing budgets.

The 48 Laws of Power

Robert Greene

An influential and controversial book that reveals the timeless principles of achieving success and mastering the art of power in any situation.

3.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The author argues that reality is not always honest and fair, and to help you achieve power and success, you should apply the following, sometimes controversial, laws.

Never outshine the master. Let your superiors feel comfortable. Don't make them feel inadequate, and avoid working with them if you can't help it.
Never put too much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies. Friends often hide their true feelings. Having an enemy as an aid will avoid any personal feelings and motives will be clear.
Conceal your intentions. It will leave your opponents more defenseless.
Always say less than necessary. The more you say, the more information you reveal to your opponents, and the more opportunity to appear foolish.
So much depends on reputation -- guard it with your life. Reputation is the cornerstone of power.
Court attention at all costs. The more you stand out, the more people are drawn to you. It's even better to be slandered than to be ignored.
Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit. Use other people's skills and knowledge to boost your own power, but make sure your position is secure.
Make other people come to you -- use bait if necessary. Luring your opponents in makes them abandon their plans. You want them to react to your plans, not the other way around.
Win through your actions, never through argument. Wins through arguments won't last and will build resentment. Wins through actions are more impactful.
Infection: avoid the unhappy and the unlucky. They tend to portray themselves as victims and will infect you with their misery.
Learn to keep people dependent on you. The more people are reliant on you, the more power and freedom you have. Don't teach people so much that they also become independent.
Use selective honesty and generosity to disarm your victim. You need to give before you're able to take. The acts of honesty and generosity do not have to be very consequential to be effective.
When asking for help, appeal to the self-interests of others, never to their mercy or gratitude. Exaggerate the benefits for the people you're asking help from. Self-interest is the biggest motivator.
Pose as a friend, work as a spy. Ask indirect questions to obtain information you need. Ask others to spy for you if you can't pose as a friend.
Crush your enemy totally. Eliminate all possibilities for a comeback or revenge from your opponent.
Use absence to increase respect and honor. Decreased availability increases your perceived value.
Keep others suspended in terror: cultivate an air of unpredictability. Acting predictability gives others an advantage over you. People will be intimidated by you if they can't understand or predict you.
Do not build fortresses to protect yourself -- isolation is dangerous. Surrounding yourself with people will give you more information and social clout.
Know who you're dealing with. Do not offend the wrong person. Do your due diligence on the people you work with. Don't trust appearances.
Don't commit to anyone. It can be used against you. Avoid other people's conflicts and maintain independence to create respect.
Play a sucker to catch a sucker -- appear dumber than your mark. This will hide your ulterior motives from your unsuspecting opponent.
Use the surrender tactic: transform weakness into power. Surrendering denies your opponents some satisfaction of winning and better prepares you for revenge.
Concentrate your forces. It's easier to gain and maintain power if it's from a single or a few sources. Power exists in concentrated form -- all companies have a handful of people with all the power.
Play the perfect courtier. Flatter and please superiors to use their influence.
Recreate yourself. Have control of your own self-image, don't let others create it for you.
Keep your hands clean. Do not be associated with bad doings. Use a scapegoat to avoid blame and conceal involvement.
Create a cult-like following by playing on people's need to believe. Concoct vague promises and emphasize enthusiasm rather than reason.
Enter action with boldness. Do not show doubt or timidity in your actions. This trait can be practiced and learned.
Plan all the way to the end. Think through every possibility to avoid surprises. The more detailed your plan is, the better.
Make your accomplishments seem effortless. Conceal your hardships and methods of achieving success. Maintain an air of intrigue and mystery. Make people think you're special and your accomplishments can't be replicated.
Control the options: get others to play with the cards you deal. When you give people a few options, they think they're in control, when in reality they are failing to see the rest of the options that you are withholding from them.
Play into people's fantasies. Exploit people's idealized visions to gain support.
Discover each man's thumbscrew. Uncover people's insecurities and weaknesses, and use them to your advantage.
Be royal in your own fashion: act like a king to be treated like one. Present yourself with self-respect and confidence. Believe in your potential for greatness and others will believe it too.
Master the art of timing. Be patient and do not appear rushed. Time is a perception, mastering your emotions will slow down time.
Disdain things you cannot have: ignoring them is the best revenge. To conquer the things that irritate you, don't be interested in them and don't give credibility to them.
Create compelling spectacles. Devise grandiose visual gestures to awe people and appeal to them emotionally. This will boost your reputation and power.
Think as you like, but behave like others. Do not dissent too often or people will find you condescending. Disseminate your true ideas gradually.
Stir up the waters to catch fish. Find your opponents’ weaknesses and make them unsettled. The more distraught they are, the less power they wield.
Despise the free lunch. Everything worthy comes at a cost. Free things come with psychological debt. Generosity softens people up to be deceived.
Avoid stepping into a great man's shoes. You will seem unoriginal. Create your own identity.
Strike the shepherd, and the sheep will scatter. Power is usually concentrated in one or two people in any organization. Identify and hamper them to effectively alter power.
Work on the hearts and minds of others. Do not use coercion. Use seduction. Understand people's emotions and appeal to them, so they want to do what you're asking.
Disarm and infuriate with the mirror effect. Copying what your opponents are doing can agitate and confuse them, and cause them to overreact.
Preach the need for change, but never reform too much at once. Respect the authority and culture that came before you. Too much transformation at once can lead to a revolt. Introduce changes gradually.
Never appear too perfect. Showing harmless flaws will make you more approachable and reduce envy.
Don't go past the mark you aimed for: in victory, learn when to stop. Do not let success cloud your judgment and become too overconfident, or you'll become vulnerable and make mistakes.
Assume formlessness. Don't be stubborn, always be ready to adapt to change. Failure to adapt is a sure way to lose power.

The 5 AM Club: Own Your Morning. Elevate Your Life

Robin S. Sharma

A guidebook for transforming yourself into a more productive, focused, and successful person by harnessing the power of early mornings.

3.4 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

You are the most productive, focused, and creative during the first hour after you wake up.
Waking up before others at 5:00 a.m. provides the isolation and focus that lead to an outsized effect on your energy and performance.
Many ultra-successful people (e.g., Tim Cook, John Grisham, Frank Lloyd Wright, Ernest Hemingway, Mozart) all started their day earlier than most people.
Throughout the day your mental bandwidth gets occupied by work, news, people, devices, etc., leaving little capacity for focused attention. Waking at 5am provides an opportunity for distraction-free focus on high-value activities.
At 5am, your prefrontal cortex function is limited and shields you from stress and overthinking.
At 5am, production of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin are increased, and you’re primed to enter a state of flow -- the optimal state of energized concentration.
Getting up at 5 am will increase your focus and productivity for the rest of the day.
“Take excellent care of the front end of your day, and the rest of your day will pretty much take care of itself. Own your morning. Elevate your life.”
Being in the top 1% means doing what the other 99% won’t do.
Discipline and perseverance always beats natural talent. Capitalize on the abilities that you have, don’t stress about what you don’t possess.
It is crucial to eliminate distractions like social media, unproductive meetings, etc.
Focus on one important project rather than working on several projects at once.
Things you do everyday are way more important than things you do once in a while. 10 minutes saved a day leads to more than 60 hours saved a year.
“The smallest of implementations is always worth more than the grandest of intentions.”
Mastery emerges after ten years of 2.75+ hours of daily practice. Consistency is key.
“Remember, every professional was once an amateur, and every master started as a beginner. Ordinary people can accomplish extraordinary feats, once they’ve routinized the right habits.”
To develop discipline and the right habits, you need willpower. The 5-3-1 creed of willpower describes how.
The 5 scientific truths about habits:
Will power is developed, not innate.
Discipline is a muscle, the more you activate it the stronger it becomes.
Like a muscle, recovery is needed to recharge your discipline.
Developing a habit needs a process, not just a desire.
Discipline affects all areas of life.
The 3 values of habits:
Success requires consistency and persistence.
Gain respect by finishing what you start.
Your discipline in private will also show in public.
The 1 theory of self-discipline mastery:
Regularly do what is hard and important, not what is easy or convenient.
Rewiring your brain to ingrain new habits follows three 22-day stages over 66 days:
Stage 1 - Deconstruction : Your brain will try to fight to keep you from doing what’s new and uncomfortable. You’ll need discipline to overcome this stage. “World-class begins where your comfort zone ends is a rule the successful, the influential and the happiest always remember.”
Stage 2 - Installation: Neurons work hard constructing the new pathway, leaving you anxious, confused, wanting to quit. Stay strong and realize you're on the path to transformation.
Stage 3 - Integration: Continued practice paves and cements the new neural pathway. At the end, the behavior is automatic, no longer requiring effort.
“All change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.”
Devote your first morning hour to work on you, including your mindset, health, and spirituality.
Success and happiness require developing four "interior empires":
Mindset: your attitude towards life (thinking positively and optimistically; what you believe you can achieve affects what you actually achieve)
Heartset: your emotional wellbeing (unexpressed emotions emerge later in uglier ways)
Healthset: your physical wellbeing (exercising provides energy, elevates mood, and reduces stress)
Soulset: your spiritual wellbeing (your connectedness with yourself and the world; can be improved through meditation)
Apply the 20/20/20 rule when you wake up at 5AM.
20 minutes to move: Exercise intensely to reduce cortisol (hormone of stress and fear) and create BDNF proteins (brain-derived neurotrophic factor, or abrineurin, which helps the brain to develop new connections, repair and protect brain cells, and think more effectively).
20 minutes to reflect: Reflect on your vision and what’s important to you. Write down your gratitudes, ambitions, and frustrations. Meditate to lower cortisol.
20 minutes to grow: Learn and expand yourself -- study biographies, psychology, business, technology, etc.
Sleep quality is linked to longevity, making your nighttime routine just as vital as morning.
Electronic devices emit blue light that reduces melatonin, a chemical that makes us sleepy. Avoid devices after 8pm. Go to sleep before 10pm.
The 10 tactics of lifelong genius:
TBTF - The tight bubble of total focus: Ignore all distractions -- news, ads, meaningless chat, etc. -- they’re draining you cognitively, spiritually, and financially.
The 90/90/1 rule: For the next 90 days, invest the first 90 minutes of the workday on the one activity that, when completed, will cause you to dominate your field.
60/10 method: Total concentration for 60 minutes, rest for 10 minutes.
The daily 5 concept: List 5 tasks to complete for the day.
The 2nd wind workout (2WW): Exercise at the end of the day to avoid mental exhaustion.
The 2 massage protocol (2MP): Schedule two massages each week. The cognitive and health benefits are priceless.
Traffic university: Always be learning while you commute.
The dream team technique: Delegate tasks, especially tasks that you don’t enjoy doing.
The weekly design system (WDS): Spend 30 minutes each Sunday to highlight achievements from this week and plan out the next week.
The 60 mins student: Study for an hour on a subject of your interest every day.
The best performers balance work and leisure, they oscillate between focused work and rejuvenating relaxation. Like crops flourishing after the fallow season replenishes nutrients, we blossom after rest restores us.
The Twin Cycles of Elite Performance involves a routine of working at peak performance in the morning and then recharging and reflecting in the evening.
The five primary assets of success are mental focus, physical energy, personal willpower, talent, and daily routine. These assets are the strongest in the early morning.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

Gary Chapman

A transformative guide that helps individuals understand their partner's love language and create a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

2.3 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Love is essential to a fulfilling life. Research shows children that receive little love and affection become emotionally unstable later on.
Love has many definitions, but the definition that’s most important is the one you define for yourself. Find what brings you emotional fulfillment so that you can keep your love tank full. When your love tank is empty, nothing (wealth, success, etc.) can replace the void.
Fancy houses and expensive cars are pointless if your partner doesn’t love you.
The first phase of a relationship is the in-love phenomenon. This refers to the passionate, obsessive, and instinctual love that drives us to reproduce. Research shows that relationships that are based on this type of intense romance only last two years on average.
For a marriage to be lasting, we need to redefine our expectations of marriage, and focus on each other’s emotional needs. Learning how to communicate our emotions effectively is key to nurturing real love.
The languages of love are complex and different people perceive and express love in different ways. Your primary love language might be physical touch, while your partner’s might be quality time.
Misunderstandings can arise even between long-time partners because their love languages may be mistranslated. Understanding your partner's love language is crucial for building a strong and happy relationship.
The first love language is words of affirmation. It involves giving verbal compliments, praise, and encouragement to express love. “Praise is the sweetest of all sounds.”
Complimenting a partner is a more effective way to motivate them than criticizing them. It prevents your requests from sounding like demands.
The second love language is quality time, which involves giving your partner undivided attention, whether through quality conversations or quality activities.
Quality activities are less about the event itself and more about expressing love for each other. Simply spending time near each other while engaging in separate activities does not constitute quality time.
The third love language is showing affection through the act of gift-giving. Throughout history, giving gifts has been a part of every marital process and is a physical symbol of love.
Pay attention to what your partner likes. Surprising your partner with regular gifts is a great way to express love.
The monetary value of the gift is not the focus for those who speak this love language, but rather the process and meaning behind it.
One of the greatest gifts one can give their partner is the gift of self during hard times, by simply being there for them throughout difficult periods.
The fourth love language is acts of service, which consists of intentionally doing helpful things for your partner, such as cleaning, grocery shopping, or taking care of the kids. This might challenge traditional gender roles, but it shows love and respect for your partner, so it is important to overcome any stereotypical views (e.g., household chores are for women).
Acts of service must be voluntary, and not demanded. Frequently ask what you can do for your partner, and it will likely be reciprocated.
The fifth love language is physical touch. Physical touch is an important way to show love, and it can be the primary love language for some people. Research shows babies that were caressed and kissed have healthier emotional lives later on.
Gestures such as holding hands, hugging, kissing, and sexual intercourse are all ways to communicate love through physical touch.
Try experimenting and exploring unexplored places to understand what feels good to your partner and learn how to please them. Remember to ask for feedback. It is crucial to respect boundaries and avoid or report physical abuse.
To find your primary love language, first, ask yourself what you most often request of your partner, and what comes to mind when you want to feel fulfilled. Secondly, consider what your partner does that hurts you the most.
Your upbringing affects the development of your love language. Reflect on how your parents or guardians showed you love or didn’t. For example, Ella’s primary love language is gift-giving. She traces the source back to when she felt unloved on a Christmas morning because her family just found something random around the house to gift her.

The 500 Greatest Albums of All Time

Rolling Stone

Rolling Stone magazine's 2020 ranking of the finest albums in history.

20 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Please see https://littlerbooks.com/summary/500-greatest-albums-of-all-time

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Stephen R. Covey

A worldwide classic that teaches practical and timeless principles for personal and professional growth.

6.1 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

We are creatures of habit, it defines our character, and it aligns our behaviors toward a certain direction.
The seven habits that can help you become more personally and professionally effective are:
Be proactive
Begin with the end in mind
Put first things first
Think win-win
Seek first to understand, then to be understood
Synergize
Sharpen the saw
Generally speaking, there are two methods to self-improvement. One is the personality ethic method. It refers to learning the skills for the behavior that you desire. For example, you might study communications or body language if you want a better relationship with others. This method neglects working on fundamental character traits, and rarely results in lasting personal growth.
The second method is the character ethic method. It focuses on working on the fundamental habits and belief systems that form your worldview. This method is far more effective and the results will endure.
For example, if you want a happy marriage, instead of learning a few techniques to make others like you more, it is far more effective to focus on becoming a positive person yourself.
We experience the world through our own paradigms, that is, our subjective feelings and understandings. When your paradigm is negative, an incident like getting lost in a foreign city might cause you annoyance from the wasted time, but if your paradigm is positive, you might find the experience exciting and you make an adventure out of it.
Shifting our paradigms is key to change. It drives our character and behaviors.
The author once experienced a paradigm shift when he was on the New York subway. A father entered the train with his children. His children immediately began to cause a disturbance while the father sat down and just closed his eyes. The author was so irritated by this that he confronted the father and asked him to control his children. The father replied that he probably should, but the children's mother died an hour ago and they're still in shock. The author's paradigm then immediately shifted from annoyance to compassion.
The paradigms to aim for should imbed universal qualities like fairness, honesty, and integrity, that most people agree are good. The seven habits will help you achieve these paradigm shifts.
Habit one: Being proactive.
One major distinction between animals and humans is that animals are slaves to external stimuli, they are reactive, whereas humans have the power to reflect on a stimuli before responding to it, we can be proactive. We have the choice to dictate how external circumstances affect our behaviors and emotions.
Reactive people tend to focus on their circle of concerns, which are things they worry about but have little control over, like bills or nuclear wars. Proactive people are focused on their circle of influence, which are things they can make an impact on. When you focus on your circle of influence, it gets bigger. When you focus on your circle of concerns, your circle of influence shrinks.
Proactivity improves your life even in the most dire situations. Viktor Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist who was imprisoned in multiple German concentration camps in World War II. The camp and its guards controlled virtually every aspect of his life. Even though his circumstances were horrid, Viktor decided to be proactive and chose how he responded to them. He focused on hope and the future where he's free and teaching the world about his experiences at the camp. He didn't let the camp dictate how he thought about life, a freedom he still had. His spirit inspired other prisoners and even some guards. Viktor credits this proactivity and finding a purpose in life as key to surviving the camp.
Try the 30-day proactivity challenge to improve your behavioral and emotional responses. Whenever you find yourself blaming someone or something external, remind yourself the root problem is how you choose to react to the issue.
Habit two: Begin with the end in mind.
When any action is performed, it is actually performed twice -- first in your mind and then you physically do it. The more accurate and realistic the mental image you have of the action, the better the execution will be. It's very common for professional athletes to imagine minor details of their actions before they perform them.
For any project, list the results you want and the exact steps you will take to achieve those results.
Beginning with the end in mind is also important for your larger life goals.
Being efficient means trying to complete the most amount of work in the shortest amount of time.
Being effective means you're progressing on the things that are truly important to you.
You can be efficient but be working on the wrong things and heading in the wrong direction. It is much more important to be effective and be heading in the right direction.
Imagine you're at your own funeral. What kind of things would you want your loved ones to say about you? Who do you want to be remembered as? What do you want to be remembered for? Answering these questions will help guide you finding the right direction in life.
Another helpful tool to right your path is to write a personal statement. It's a document where you define your values and the person you want to be, what you want to achieve in life, and the principles driving these goals. For example, it can include declarations like "I value my family and work equally and will strive to balance my time between them," or "I value a fair society and will use my power to positively influence public policies." A personal statement will require deep introspection and many reviews and rewrites.
Habit three: Put first things first
Time management is essential to being effective. However, many time-management techniques focus on efficiency and not effectiveness, but being effective with your time is simple, just remember "first things first". This means prioritizing your life so the important things are done first.
To help with prioritization, categorize your tasks according to two dimensions: urgency and importance. This results in a 2-by-2 matrix with four quadrants.
Urgent and important, quadrant 1: crises that require immediate attention.
Important and not urgent, quadrant 2: tasks like building important relationships and planning for the future.
Not important and urgent, quadrant 3: tasks like answering a ringing phone while working.
Not urgent and not important, quadrant 4: these tasks are time wasters.
The key quadrant to focus on, and one that many people neglect, is the second "important and not urgent" quadrant. The tasks in this quadrant will have an outsized positive impact in your life. Furthermore, the more you work in this quadrant, the fewer items you'll have in the "urgent and important" quadrant, meaning less crises in your life.
The author worked with a group of shopping-center managers. The managers knew that building relationships with the store owners will have the most positive impact. However, they only spent less than 5% of their time on it. They were more occupied with dealing with issues like creating reports and answering calls -- tasks that belong in quadrant one or three. Once the author convinced the managers to spend a third of their time developing relationships with the store owners, the result was unambiguously positive -- client satisfaction and lease revenue all went up.
Make a habit of identifying second quadrant tasks you're neglecting and commit to devote time to them will accelerate your effectiveness.
Habit four: Think "win-win".
Many people hold the "win-lose" worldview, in which they believe interactions with others always result in one person coming out on top, thus seeing the interactions as competitions. This is a harmful paradigm and will often result in "lose-lose" situations.
A more effective paradigm is the "win-win" mentality. This paradigm encourages collaboration, understanding, and finding solutions that benefit all parties.
To better achieve "win-win" outcomes, it is important to invest in "emotional bank accounts" with people you interact with. The more "deposits" you have in these bank accounts, the stronger the trust and more flexibility you'll have with your relationships.
Ways to make "deposits" include keeping promises, listening empathetically, being explicit about what you expect, maintaining personal integrity, and being courteous and sensitive in all matters.
The author has a friend who took his son on an expensive six-week road trip to see every major-league baseball team play. When the author asked if his friend liked baseball that much, the friend responded, "No, but I like my son that much." The friend knew the importance of the emotional bank account, and the trip was a large deposit.
Habit five: Seek first to understand, then to be understood
We often don't really listen to what others have to say. Instead we project our own perspective onto others and prescribe solutions without understanding them first. This is an ineffective manner of communication, people won't welcome your ideas if they don't feel understood.
We need to practice empathetic listening to be effective, which means putting yourself in the other person's perspective and trying to intellectually and emotionally understand them. This requires you to shift from the paradigm of "I'm listening so I can respond" to "I'm listening so I can really understand."
Experts in communication claim the words we say only account for 10% of information conveyed when communicating. The sounds account for 30% and the remaining 60% is from body language. Therefore, empathetic listening requires you to pay attention to the feeling and behavior of the speaker as well.
Habit six: Synergize
Synergy refers to the collaboration that occurs when the sum of individual contributions exceeds its parts. In other words, one plus one can equal three or more.
Everyone has their distinctive strengths, when we value each other's strengths and use them toward a common goal, synergy and success follows. To accomplish this, we need to listen to each other to truly understand each other's perspectives.
David Lilienthal was the head of the Atomic Energy Commission after World War II. When he initially created the group, he scheduled weeks of events for the sole purpose of the group getting to know each other. Many people criticized David's agenda, claiming that it's inefficient, but he knew the importance of synergy. During the first weeks, the group built solid connections, understood each other's perspectives, and developed trust among each other, resulting in a respectful and productive culture moving forward.
Having self-confidence, being open-minded, and believing that the combined efforts will lead to success are keys to synergizing.
Habit seven: Sharpen the saw
It is vital to take care of yourself. If not, your effectiveness will not endure. You should be regularly attending to your physical, spiritual, mental, social, and emotional needs.
Eat well, exercise regularly, and avoid unnecessary stress to remain physically healthy.
Pray, mediate, and contemplate on your life values to maintain your spiritual health.
Read high-quality literature and do some form of writing to keep yourself mentally sharp.
Develop relationships and practice empathy to be socially and emotionally healthy.

A Brief History of Time: From the Big Bang to Black Holes

Stephen Hawking

A landmark exploration of cosmology by one of the greatest minds of our time.

3.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Theories, such as the theory of gravity or the theory of relativity, are models that explain observations and allow scientists to predict future events, while remaining open to reform based on new evidence, making science an ever-evolving process.
Newton’s theory of gravity allows us to predict movement of planets.
Gaelio disproved the theory that everything revolves around Earth by showing that there are moons orbiting Jupiter.
In the 1600s, Isaac Newton revolutionized the understanding of motion by disproving the notion of objects being naturally at rest and introducing the concept that all objects in the universe are in constant motion. He developed three laws to explain motion:
Newton’s first law, the law of inertia, states that objects in motion will stay in motion in a straight line unless acted upon by a force.
Newton’s second law, the law of force, states that the acceleration of an object is dependent upon the net force acting upon the object and the mass of the object.
Newton’s third law, the law of action and reaction, states that for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction. When applied to gravity, it means objects attract each other with a force proportional to their masses.
According to Newton, movement of an object is always relative to the movement of something else. For example, when you’re sitting on a moving train, you’re not moving at all relative to the train, but relative to an observer standing outside, you’re going at 100mph.
The speed of light always measures approximately 186,000 miles per second in a vacuum, regardless if the observer is stationary or in motion. This means that if a train were moving towards a beam of light at 100mph, the light would still travel at the speed of 186,000 miles per second, not at a slightly faster speed due to the train's motion. The constancy of the speed of light challenges the idea of relative speed and led to Albert Einstein's special theory of relativity.
The special theory of relativity states that laws of physics are the same for everyone, no matter how they are moving. This means that time becomes relative, because two observers experiencing the same event at different speeds would perceive it at different times since the speed of light remains the same for both observers.
When scientists tried to study particles (tiny portions of matter) they noticed that particles behave strangely when being measured -- their momentum becomes more uncertain when we try to measure its position, and their position becomes more uncertain when we try to measure its momentum. This is called the uncertainty principle.
To account for the uncertainty principle, scientists study a particle's quantum state (an amalgamation of likely positions and speeds) using its wave-like behavior (interference) to make predictions about its probable locations and velocities.
We perceive the world in three dimensions: height, width, and depth. However, there is a fourth dimension that we cannot directly observe -- time. Time combines with the three spatial dimensions to create a concept known as space-time. Since time is relative, scientists use this four-dimensional model to describe events in the universe, considering an event as something that occurs at a specific position in both space and time.
The presence of a massive object causes space and time to curve around it, much like a blanket being curved by a heavy object placed on it. Other objects then follow these curves, creating the effect of gravity, similar to how a smaller object would roll along the curved surface of the blanket caused by a larger object.
When a star with a high mass reaches the end of its life, it collapses under its own gravity and forms a singularity, an immensely dense spherical point known as a black hole, where space-time is curved so intensely that even light cannot escape its gravitational pull. This boundary beyond which there is no escape is called the event horizon.
Scientists detect black holes by observing their gravitational effects on nearby objects and by looking for X-rays and other waves emitted as matter is drawn into them.
There’s evidence suggesting that there’s a supermassive black hole at the center of our galaxy.
The second law of thermodynamics states that when energy changes forms, or matter moves freely, entropy (disorder) increases. That’s why black holes release heat to maintain the increase in entropy. Virtual pairs (undetectable particles whose effects are measurable) of particles and antiparticles near the event horizon play a role in this process, where one particle falls into the black hole while the other escapes as radiation. This radiation causes the black hole to lose mass over time, eventually leading to its complete evaporation and potential explosive end.
If the universe reaches maximum entropy and starts contracting, reversing the cosmological arrow of time -- which is how as the universe expands, entropy also increases -- we wouldn't be here to witness it because we rely on increasing entropy to convert food into energy. As long as we exist, we will perceive time as moving forward, although the possibility of time moving backward cannot be completely ruled out.
In addition to gravity, there are three other fundamental forces in the universe: electromagnetic force (force between positively and negatively charged particles), weak nuclear force (force in radioactive decay), and strong nuclear force (force in keeping protons and neutrons inside an atom’s nucleus). These forces act on particles at different scales and have different strengths. At extremely high energy levels, these forces may unify into a single force (grand unification energy), potentially involved in the creation of the universe.
The most widely accepted theory of the universe’s creation is the hot big bang model, where the universe started as an infinitely hot and dense state about 13.8 billion years ago and continuously expanded, cooled down, and gave rise to the formation of elements, galaxies, stars, and planets.
There are two major theories physicists use to understand the universe, general relativity, which revolves around gravity, and quantum physics, which involves particles. However, physicists aren’t yet able to unify the theories because their equations produce impossible results when integrated.
We are still working to develop a theory of everything, a singular hypothetical and all-encompassing framework of physics that fully explains and links together all aspects of the universe.

A People's History of the United States

Howard Zinn

A powerful account of the less told American history that reshapes our understanding of the United States.

7.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

“There is an underside to every age about which history does not often speak, because history is written from records left by the privileged.”
The United States is a country founded on exploitation, with the powerful few enriching themselves at the expense of others while shaping the history to their benefit. This land was built upon racism, slavery, and class conflict, a legacy that remains in today’s rampant inequality.
Americans have been taught the heroic tale of Christopher Columbus, an Italian explorer working for Spain, discovering America, but the darker side of the story is often untold.
Columbus saw the native Arawak people as subjects to be subjugated.
The Europeans abused the natives -- forcing them to find and mine resources, killing children, raping women, sending the abled back to Spain into lifelong slavery.
Columbus landed in North America on October 12, 1492. By 1515, over 83% (250,000) of Arawaks died. By 1650, the Arawak population was completely eliminated.
“Since the Indians were better woodsmen than the English and virtually impossible to track down, the method was to feign peaceful intentions, let them settle down and plant their corn wherever they chose, and then, just before harvest, fall upon them, killing as many as possible and burning the corn.”
Similar to Columbus’s expedition, the English settlers also eradicated the Powhatan and Pequot tribes after landing in America.
The Iroquois lived communally with women holding power, unlike European colonists who expected female submission.
Europeans resented the Iroquois' resistance and resourcefulness, as the colonists struggled to survive while the natives thrived.
The Europeans committed genocide by distributing smallpox infected blankets, reducing native populations drastically (from 3,000 to 313 between 1642 and 1764).
In 1676. Nathaniel Bacon led a group of disenfranchised settlers to rebel against Colonial Governor William Berkeley, demanding the expulsion of Native Americans and more political representation. They engaged in violent clashes with both the government and Indigenous peoples.
This was the first rebellion of disgruntled frontiersmen in North American colonies.
The rebellion ultimately led to the burning of Jamestown. However, it was eventually quelled, and resulted in colonies with more entrenched slavery and hardened class divisions as planters sought to suppress future uprisings.
To obtain more slaves, the Dutch and the English established the African slave trade, in which 10-15 million people were captured and transported in abhorrent conditions to America by 1800, with a third dying en route. This led to a booming plantation economy in Jamestown, Virginia where by 1763, half the population were slaves.
African slaves staged uprisings from the start, defying the false assumptions of their innate submissive nature.
In 1712, 21 were executed in New York for planning a revolt killing nine whites.
Many early uprisings united white servants and black slaves, challenging racist ideas.
To eliminate collaboration between black and lower-class white people, laws were passed to forbid interaction between black people and white people.
The Founding Fathers were wealthy landowners. They created a government protecting property owners, not slaves, women or the poor.
For example, there were laws requiring at least 5,000 pounds of property to be eligible to run for governor.
By 1770, the top 1% controlled 44% of the nation's wealth -- an inequality that persists to this day.
“The country therefore was not ‘born free’ but born slave and free, servant and master, tenant and landlord, poor and rich.”
“The Constitution … illustrates the complexity of the American system: that it serves the interests of a wealthy elite, but also does enough for small property owners, for middle-income mechanics and farmers, to build a broad base of support. The slightly prosperous people who make up this base of support are buffers against the blacks, the Indians, the very poor whites. They enable the elite to keep control with a minimum of coercion, a maximum of law -- all made palatable by the fanfare of patriotism and unity.”
"Charles Beard warned us that governments -- including the government of the United States -- are not neutral … they represent the dominant economic interests, and ... their constitutions are intended to serve these interests."
The Founding Fathers incited war to divert attention from economic issues and suppress popular movements, a tactic future leaders would continue to use.
The women first arrived in America were isolated and expected to be servile to men. They lived in poor conditions and were mistreated, often whipped and slept on floors.
“They were not mentioned in the Declaration of Independence, they were absent in the Constitution and they were invisible in the new political democracy. They were the women of early America.”
Women fought for improvement after the American revolution.
Female textile workers went on strike for better conditions.
Literacy for women doubled to 80% from 1760 to 1840.
Many influential anti-slavery advocates were women, including Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott, whose 1848 Seneca Falls Convention marked the first woman's rights convention and launched a sustaining movement.
Despite treaties, tribes were repeatedly pushed further west in the Trail of Tears.
The original meaning of “Alabama” could be “here we may rest”, named by the Cherokee hoping to finally settle there after two prior forced relocations. In 1831 they were expelled again.
About one in four Cherokees lost their lives marching west in the harsh winter.
In 1845 President James Knox Polk initiated a campaign to extend US borders to the west coast.
In 1846 Polk provoked Mexico to fire the first shot in order to frame the incoming war to acquire more land as national defense.
Poorly equipped immigrants were sent to fight and thousands died of illness.
Perpetually drunk American soldiers terrorized Mexican villages. Mexican guerrillas responded with attacks.
After a brutal war, Polk succeeded in 1848 -- the Rio Grande became the Texas border, and the US gained California and New Mexico for $15 million.
The Civil War was not fought just to end slavery but arose due to conflicting policy preferences between Northern industrialists and Southern plantation owners.
President Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation, which ended slavery, was more of a strategic war measure to get slaves to flee and force Southern surrender, and not pure humanitarianism.
The 13th Amendment outlawed slavery, but conditions for blacks barely improved. The government assisted former slave owners, who could vote, not the powerless ex-slaves.
Union General William Tecumseh Sherman tried reserving the Georgian coastline (forty acres and a mule) for freed families, but President Andrew Johnson, Lincoln’s successor after his assassination in 1865, rescinded this. Eventually almost all granted land during the war was restored to its pre-war white owners.
In the 1800s, workers across the US realized that striking together gave them power to improve their working conditions. The working class even successfully elected legislators, challenging establishment politicians.
Strikes sometimes ended tragically. In 1877, 100 died in a railroad workers strike after the National Guard was summoned. Media coverage of the strike highlighted the necessity for increased collective strength in averting massacres.
Many socialist unions formed, alarming the capitalist establishment. The radical and inclusive Industrial Workers of the World (IWW) union was the most powerful, organizing over 150 strikes nationwide. Its co-founder Eugene Victor Debs became the Socialist Party of America's frequent presidential candidate.
The Spanish-American War in 1898, and the Philippine-American War (1899-1902) were examples of American imperialism. They were driven by racist ideals and were opposed by most of the American people.
The Spanish-American War ended Spanish colonial rule in Cuba, Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Philippines, and granted the US control over several territories.
The Philippine-American War followed the Spanish-American War. The conflict resulted in a brutal, multi-year insurgency. American forces used controversial tactics, including scorched-earth campaigns. The war resulted in the Philippines becoming an American colony.
President Woodrow Wilson entered World War I after Germany sank the Lusitania with Americans aboard. It was omitted that the ocean liner also contained a large amount of military assets.
WWI was an opportunity for the United States to establish economic footholds in foreign countries. Large American monopolies like Andrew Carnegie’s US Steel, Rockerfeller family’s Standard Oil, and J.P. Morgan’s railroads and bank benefited immensely from the resulting war policies.
Wilson passed the Espionage Act, banning anti-war speech with twenty year prison terms, and the Selective Service Act, which allowed the government to draft people into the army.
The US entered World War II not purely because of the Pearl Harbor attack and Nazi Germany’s systematic racism (the US also had this -- e.g., Jim Crow laws that enforced racial segregation), but because of economical benefits, not unlike WWI.
The US used WWII to access foreign oil and markets.
Japan had policies that hurt US imports and resources.
The US was already discussing justifications for a war with Japan before the Pearl Harbor attack.
The profits of American corporations that had military contracts rose astronomically, creating the military–industrial complex.
Charles Wilson, the president of General Motors, advocated for a “permanent war economy” for the country.
Military spending soared and remained sky-high after WWII on persistent dubious threats from communists and other countries like Russia, Korea and Vietnam.
The civil rights movement in the US from 1954 to 1968 aimed to end racial segregation and discrimination through nonviolent means.
Rosa Parks’ refusal to sit at the back of the bus led to a 381 day long protest and progress in deeming segregation as unconstitutional in US laws.
March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom was a historic civil rights event held on August 28, 1963, where Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his famous "I Have a Dream" speech to 250,000 attendees, advocating for civil rights and economic opportunities for African Americans. However, before the protest, its leaders agreed to censor more militant activists like John Lewis following conversations with the Kennedy administration.
Six years of government inaction followed the March on Washington, with many black deaths by police and lynchings. By 1967, disillusioned black individuals abandoned nonviolence, leading to major urban riots and the 1968 Civil Rights Act, which aimed to improve anti-discrimination laws.
The imperfect act still denied rights to minorities when the government deployed law enforcement to suppress civil disturbances, and defined a riot as merely three or more people threatening violence.
The US government justified the Vietnam war by setting the narrative that the US is helping Vietnam achieve independence from a communist regime. However, the government was privately interested in Vietnam’s rich resources.
To gain support for war, president Lyndon Johnson lied about a Vietnamese attack on US boats when in reality the US attacked Vietnam.
The US gained substantial media attention for the atrocities and unprecedented destruction it committed, especially the shocking My Lai massacre, in which up to 500 people, many being women and children, were ruthlessly executed.
The war was opposed by most Americans and sparked massive anti-war protests. The Moratorium to End the War in Vietnam demonstration in 1969 had two million protesters participate nationwide, with 100,000 of them in Boston Common to attend an anti-war speech by Senator George McGovern.
Many significant movements happened during the 1960s, including second-wave feminism, the prison abolition movement, the Native American rights movement, and counterculture.
First-wave feminism focused on issues like suffrage and property rights. Second-wave feminism focused on issues like sexuality, family, the workplace, reproductive rights, and other ingrained inequalities.
The prison abolition movement sought to replace prisons that emphasized punishment with facilities that focused on rehabilitation.
The Native American rights movement, or the Red Power movement, demanded self-determination for Native Americans.
Counterculture refers to a cultural movement that challenges prevailing societal norms. Counterculture figures from this era include Bob Dylan (American singer-songwriter), Ivan Illich (Austrian priest and theologian), and Jonathan Kozol (American writer).
By the 1970s, the American sentiment turned against the government, with most believing the government is more concerned with their own interests.
The government expanded its military actions without congressional approval, and supported oppressive regimes like the Philippines, Iran, Indonesia, and Nicaragua that used violence to eliminate dissidents.
In 1990, President Geroge H. W. Bush initiated the Gulf War against Iraq to secure Middle East oil resources and bolster approval ratings. Publicly, it was framed as liberating Kuwait from Iraqi invaders.
Bill Clinton's administration promised change, but most has remained the same.
There will likely be a radical movement against inequality in America in the future, consisting of diverse groups and the middle-class dissatisfied with the nation's status quo.
“The memory of oppressed people is one thing that cannot be taken away, and for such people, with such memories, revolt is always an inch below the surface.”
“The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you don't listen to it, you will never know what justice is.”
The military budget continued to skyrocket after the 9/11 attacks, redirecting vast amounts of tax money to government contractors.
US government actions, not its people's beliefs or practices, fuel the hatred abroad by oppressing others for economic gains.
“What struck me as I began to study history was how nationalist fervor -- inculcated from childhood on by pledges of allegiance, national anthems, flags waving and rhetoric blowing -- permeated the educational systems of all countries, including our own. I wonder now how the foreign policies of the United States would look if we wiped out the national boundaries of the world, at least in our minds, and thought of all children everywhere as our own. Then we could never drop an atomic bomb on Hiroshima, or napalm on Vietnam, or wage war anywhere, because wars, especially in our time, are always wars against children, indeed our children.”

A Short History of Nearly Everything

Bill Bryson

A popular and accessible science adventure that explains the universe -- from the Big Bang to the rise of civilisation.

4.8 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

It takes extreme luck and timing for us to be here.
“Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life's quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result -- eventually, astoundingly, and all too briefly -- in you.”
99.99% of species have become extinct.
Science is a vast and fascinating field, but its writings can be dry. The author aims to make science more accessible.
In the 20th century, scientists formulated the Big Bang and inflation theories, positing that all matter rapidly expanded from a tiny, dimensionless point about 13.8 billion years ago, creating the universe.
In 1965, radio astronomers Arno Penzias and Robert Wilson detected persistent interference while trying to use a large antenna in New Jersey, which turned out to be cosmic background radiation left over from the birth of the universe, providing the first concrete evidence for the Big Bang theory.
Around 1% of TV static is a remnant from the Big Bang.
If any condition in our universe had been even slightly different, our extraordinary cosmos supporting life would never have formed.
Space is incomprehensibly vast. Pluto is in our solar system but still billions of miles away and unreachable to this day. The Milky Way alone contains hundreds of billions of stars.
The universe is so vast that it is highly probable that there is intelligent extraterrestrial life out there somewhere.
A 1961 calculation by Frank Drake estimating the number of advanced alien civilizations points to possibly millions just within our Milky Way galaxy, but with average distances between civilizations being over 200 light years, detecting signals from aliens across these unfathomable distances seems unlikely.
The light from distant stars we see left those stars long ago, taking years to span the cosmos to reach us because of the great distance.
Robert Owen Evans was an Australian minister who holds the record for visual discoveries of supernovae (dying stars).
Our solar system improbably coalesced from an enormous gas cloud and specks of dust over four billion years ago.
500 million years later, Earth's carbon dioxide in the atmosphere created greenhouse conditions to warm the planet enough for organic life to emerge.
One of the first expeditions to measure the dimensions of the Earth (French Geodesic Mission to the Equator) was started by a bet between scientists to see whether the circumference of the Earth was greater around the Equator or around the poles.
Isaac Newton's findings (gravity and laws of motion from Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica) spurred further expeditions to measure Earth's properties and its relationship with the sun.
The Earth weighs almost 6 billion trillion metric tons, and it has an oblate spheroid shape rather than perfect spherical form due to the effects of its spin.
James Hutton wrote opaquely but presciently about mountains being formed by collision of lands.
Charles Lyell popularized uniformitarianism, the theory that changes in the earth's crust during geological history have resulted from the action of continuous and uniform processes.
Though geology and paleontology gained appeal as a genteel hobby, it took time to grasp dinosaur bones' implications that whole species can perish.
Dmitri Mendeleev's mother traveled across Russia so that her son could get an education. Mendeleyev went on to develop the influential periodic table.
“In France, a chemist named Pilatre de Rozier tested the flammability of hydrogen by gulping a mouthful and blowing across an open flame, proving at a stroke that hydrogen is indeed explosively combustible and that eyebrows are not necessarily a permanent feature of one's face.”
Marie and Pierre Curie discovered in 1896 that certain rocks release energy without changing, a phenomenon they named radioactivity.
Marie Curie was the first woman to win a Nobel Prize, the first person to win a Nobel Prize twice, and the only person to win a Nobel Prize in two scientific fields.
She won the Nobel Prize for Physics for her pioneering research on radioactivity.
She won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry for the discovery of the elements polonium and radium using techniques she invented.
The discovery of radioactivity allowed scientists like Clair Cameron Patterson to accurately date Earth's age (4.54 ± 0.05 billion years).
In the early 1900s:
Albert Einstein, despite failing exams and struggling to find academic jobs early on, published the theory of relativity, which states that space and time are relative to the observer, and that spacetime, which combines 3D space with time as a 4th dimension, is curved by gravity from objects with enormous masses.
Albert Einstein formulated the famous equation E=mc^2, which shows that mass and energy are interchangeable, demonstrating that matter contains immense potential energy. For instance, the mass in the human body carries enough energy to equal 30 large hydrogen bombs if fully released.
Max Planck's quantum theory suggests that light acts both like a particle and wave.
We learned more about the structure of atoms through scientists like Niels Bohr and Ernest Rutherford.
Despite social inequality, women made critical contributions to astronomy. Henrietta Swan Leavitt's inventions allowed us to measure astronomical distances in space and understand the true vastness of the universe.
Edwin Hubble built upon Leavitt's work and discovered that the universe is expanding.
Scientists learned about subatomic particles.
Superstring theory suggests the universe is made of tiny quarks that exist in up to 11 dimensions, most of which are imperceptible to humans.
Quantum Theory, which describes the behavior of subatomic particles, is a modern developing scientific field with more questions than answers.
Electromagnetic forces and gravity are two forces that explain the universe, but they’re very different from each other and currently there’s no unified “theory of everything”.
Exact distance from the sun, a molten core generating a protective atmosphere, a perfectly sized stabilizing moon formed by an ancient collision, and an intricately timed sequence of events -- these all had to occur for Earth to foster any life at all.
We shouldn't presume perpetual stability.
We learned how dinosaurs met their doom from the cataclysmic K-T asteroid impact 66 million years ago, and we still face extinction threats from large asteroids that cross Earth's path periodically.
Some scientists estimate near-misses by civilization-ending asteroids happen two to three times per week.
Scientists have limited understanding of inner seismic forces causing earthquakes, including Yellowstone's active supervolcano that could erupt catastrophically anytime.
Until the 1950s, most of what we knew about the ocean and the high altitudes were from daring explorers. Today we have a better understanding of Earth's abundant marine biodiversity and its delicate balance, which is being dangerously disrupted by toxic waste dumping.
We need to be mindful of humans' narrow niche near sea level, since we quickly perish in deep water or at high altitudes.
Life started with simple microbes around 4 million years ago, then they became plants, then sea creatures, then land life.
Our world still has numerous undiscovered biodiversity, especially in rainforests and oceans.
“As much as 97% of the world’s plant and animal species may still await discovery.”
Microbes account for at least 80% of all biomass on the planet. Most of them are neutral or beneficial to humans, but the 0.1% that are pathogenic can be deadly because microbes are extremely resilient.
In the 1800s, Charles Darwin stated that humans came from simpler organisms and evolved via natural selection, where organisms best adapted to environments survive and reproduce.
Darwin hid his groundbreaking theory for almost 15 years, fearing religious persecution.
In the 1930s scientists like Gregor Mendel integrated Darwinian evolution with heredity genetics to formulate the modern synthesis explaining how traits are passed by genes.
Modern genetics reveals that “every living thing is an elaboration on a single original plan.”
“About half the chemical functions that take place in a banana are fundamentally the same as the chemical functions that take place in you.”
“There are three stages in scientific discovery. First, people deny that it is true, then they deny that it is important; finally they credit the wrong person.”
Scientists believe that the ice age was caused by variations in Earth's orbit and atmospheric changes.
Increased carbon monoxide could lead to another ice age or global warming.
Pollution is damaging our atmosphere. Our ozone layer has a hole that's leaking space radiation into Earth.
There is sparse fossil evidence to clearly explain human evolution. There remains a lot of discoveries to be made in this area.
Human activity has caused numerous extinctions. Life of any kind is so improbably lucky and precious that we need to fight to protect it or we might lose it.

ADHD 2.0: New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction

Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey

An invaluable guide featuring cutting-edge research and strategies to help individuals with ADHD thrive and reach their full potential.

3.3 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

People with ADHD may be distractible, hyperactive, and impulsive, but they are also energized, creative, and committed. With the right strategies, having ADHD can be a superpower.
Recent developments in fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) showed evidence of two modes of thinking -- TPN (task-positive-network) and DMN (default-mode-network).
TPN is the thinking that happens when you're focused or in the zone.
DMN is the thinking associated with imagination, drawing on past experiences, and envisioning the future.
People with ADHD have more difficulty switching between the two modes. They might fixate on one task and forget other responsibilities, or they might let their imagination clutch to negative feelings like disappointment and shame.
If you're stuck in negative thoughts, you're in DMN mode. To switch back to TPN, try taking a walk, doing a puzzle or the dishes, or anything that's outside of your head.
Recently it was discovered a strip down the center of the cerebellums of ADHD brains is smaller than normal.
The cerebellum is responsible for motor functions as well as cognitive and emotional processes. It affects abilities like learning, making quick decisions, regulating emotions, and balance.
The cerebellum is the most elastic part of the brain. People with ADHD can strengthen it with understanding and commitment, and overcome some of the challenges with ADHD.
An ADHD brain is like a racecar with a pushcart's brakes. However, there are strategies to strengthen the brakes.
Samuel was a remote patient of Dr. Hallowell's. Samuel was seven years old attending school in Shanghai. He was struggling -- he couldn't focus, had problems following instructions, and was depressed. Also, there wasn't a local physiatrist who could prescribe him medication.
Dr. Hallowell's treatment plan was unconventional. He instructed the mom to frequently hug the boy on a daily basis to counteract his negative experiences in school. He also asked the mom to consistently provide affection, warmth, and encouragement.
Furthermore, Dr. Hallowell prescribed a daily 30-minute balancing exercise for Samuel, which included activities like standing on one leg with his eyes closed and taking his socks on and off without sitting down.
Samuel showed impressive progress within weeks. He was more focused and less disruptive. This is an example of a strength-based treatment strategy.
The critical component of strength-based treatment is connection. People with ADHD often feel disconnected, which isn't surprising because their brain is different from 90% of the population.
Punishment will further drive the disconnection. This disconnection can lead to low-self esteem, anxiety, depression, poor performance at work, relationship difficulties, and acting out at school.
Connections with people are very beneficial for people with ADHD. It can even mitigate childhood pain. The author calls these connections "the other vitamin C".
To foster connections, try sharing your worries with people you trust, connect over meals, talk to friends at least once a week.
To improve your relationship with your child with ADHD, try dedicating 30 minutes each week for one-on-one activities of your child's choosing.
A pet is also a good daily source for your "other vitamin C".
The potential of people with ADHD often lay dormant or remain ignored. People with ADHD usually are exceptional or passionate about one or two things, and when those things are nourished, the superpower of ADHD can be unleashed.
For example, if a child is obsessed with science, video games, or playing the violin, express these interests to the teacher. If the teacher can integrate these interests, the child will be less distracted and more motivated. Kids with ADHD just need adults to engage with them effectively.
This is why identifying your interests and having a job that aligns with your interests is essential for managing ADHD. If you need to find your interests, try writing down the achievements you’re proud of and all the things you love to do, find easy to do, are good at, and want to get better at.
Creativity is an innate part of ADHD. You might have an affinity for things like writing, drawing, carpentry, or just creating things in general. When you hone your creativity, your superpower will shine.
The environment they’re in is important for the success of people with ADHD. The environment is not just the physical space you're in. It also consists of aspects like your routine and your diet.
Structure is helpful for people with ADHD. The ADHD brain is hardwired to resist structure, but you can overcome this by starting small. For example, create a daily to-do list with only two items and complete those.
If the environments you're in -- whether at home, school, or work -- are not free of shame or fear, or if you don't feel comfortable or valued in them, think about what you can do to improve them. If you can't, it might be best to find a new environment.
Diet is also an important part of your environment. Avoid processed foods with additives, coloring, sugar, or preservatives. Eat whole grains, unprocessed meats, fish, nuts, and plenty of fruit and vegetables. Limit coffee and replace sugary soda with water or tea instead. Following these dietary habits will keep you and your brain healthy.
Sleep is crucial for people with ADHD and it needs to be a priority. Quality sleep helps to reduce the risk of low mood or anxiety caused by DMN (default-mode-network). Try turning off your devices one hour before bed and keeping the room cool.
Exercising will greatly improve your performance. It releases dopamine which helps with concentration.
Two good exercises for people with ADHD are martial arts and yoga, because they cultivate focus and balance, similar to Samuel's prescribed exercises. 20 to 30 minutes a day is recommended. You'll notice improvements like lower stress in just eight weeks. These exercises are strengthening your brain and thickening that smaller part of your cerebellum.
Exercising can also be used as a short-term boost. If you need help focusing, try doing an activity that raises your heart rate. Some schools now send disruptive kids to jump on a trampoline instead of a time-out.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

Lindsay C. Gibson

“How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents”

5.7 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

“Emotional maturity means a person is capable of thinking objectively and conceptually while sustaining deep emotional connections to others.”
Emotionally immature parents often grew up with caretakers who restricted emotional expression. This impedes their development of integrated self and emotional maturity, and they become highly defensive, inconsistent, unable to engage healthily with others. Not all emotional neglect is intentional or malicious.
Highly defensive children often grow up to be parents who can’t emotionally engage with their own children in a healthy manner. They lack the tools to do so, and they often cannot self-reflect and change.
Emotionally mature parents are comfortable with emotions and attuned to children's emotional needs. They create security by continuously showing interest, validating emotions, giving affection, and being dependable.
Traits associated with emotional immaturity:
They are rigid and single-minded: They cope by narrowing issues down to something manageable and become defensive when challenged.
They have low stress tolerance: They often overreact, blame others, and have trouble calming down. They believe it's other people's responsibility to calm them down by accommodating their demands. They often use intoxicants or medication to cope.
They do what feels best: They often follow the path of least resistance instead of confronting difficult issues.
They are subjective, not objective: They value their feelings more than reality.
They have little respect for differences: They’re uncomfortable in relationships with those who have different beliefs.
They are egocentric: They are constantly anxious about being exposed as bad, inadequate, or unlovable, living in a permanent state of insecurity.
They are self-preoccupied and self-involved: They question their self-worth so deeply they can’t consider others. They are constantly monitoring their own feelings. Their self-preoccupation is more like a chronic disease rather than self-obsession.
They are self-referential, not self-reflective: They are opportunistic in talking about themselves. They don’t ask follow-up questions. They don’t assess their behaviors or motives.
They like to be the center of attention: They dominate conversations. They are not necessarily extroverts because extroverts enjoy others’ participation.
They have low empathy and are emotionally insensitive: They can’t resonate with others’ viewpoints and intentions. They’re often good at reading others’ feelings but not resonating with them.
They promote role reversal: Emotionally immature parents expect attentiveness, praise, comfort, and to be confided in about adult matters from the child, as a child would expect from a parent.
Emotional immaturity shares links with covert narcissism, which includes the following traits:
Emotionally fragile and sensitive to even limited amounts of perceived criticism.
Self-deprecating and appear highly stressed, shy, and reserved.
Always comparing themselves against others.
Demands constant attention.
Impatient when not talking about themselves.
Easily angered and act victimized when challenged.
Need to control others.
Some of the negative impacts if you have emotionally immature parents:
You may feel unimportant, suppress your anger, and feel dependent on but not connected to your parents.
You may feel like you’re the source of all problems, even when they’re not.
You may feel emotionally isolated, as your parents failed to connect with you or engage with your interests. When you’re an adult you tend to believe you must agree with others for them to value you.
There are four types of emotionally immature parents: emotional, driven, passive, and rejecting. Parents can exhibit qualities from more than one type.
Emotional parents can't regulate emotions, relying on others for stability. Their unpredictability leaves everyone uneasy, fearing to be the next target. Their emotions overshadow their home. Their children work around the parent's emotions. Their adult children may be overly attuned to others, excluding their own needs.
Driven parents push children to achieve without regard for feelings or needs. Their children feel like they need to do exactly what the parent wants. They tend to grow up to be unmotivated and depressed adults whose feelings of success always elude them.
Passive parents are disengaged from decisions impacting their child. They want to appear as loving, fun, and easy, but they don’t offer guidance. Their children are left directionless and may see the parents as helpless victims rather than responsible adults. Children who idolized a passive parent may grow up to be adults who rationalize other people's neglectful behavior.
Rejecting parents shows disinterest in their children. They do not spend much time with their children and prefer to be left alone. The children feel like if they didn’t exist the parents would be fine. Rejecting parents are the least empathetic and are the most likely to be abusive. The children grow up to have low self-esteem and see themselves as irritants. They also have more difficulty in asking for what they need.
Some children cope with emotional neglect by fantasizing better futures. In adulthood, this can lead to unrealistic expectations while not addressing the root of the persistent loneliness caused by the parents’ emotional neglect. For example, you may fantasize about an effortless and perfect marriage, then feel hopeless when faced with the real work required.
Children may take on roles, like the "obedient child" or the "dumb child", to get a neglectful parent's attention and make the parent feel secure. This prevents developing a true self, and sets up entering relationships falsely, restricting authentic engagement and fulfillment. Constantly being inauthentic is exhausting and breeds imposter syndrome.
Overall there are two styles of coping:
Internalizers believe it's their job to resolve problems. They take on too much responsibility, enjoy being competent, appear perfect while falling apart inside, and see their needs as burdensome.
Externalizers blame others, aren't self-reflective or adaptable, react impulsively, feel powerless, are self-defeating, and have difficulty asking for help to heal relationships.
Externalizers seek solutions outside of themselves, assigning their problems to others. They easily get emotionally overwhelmed and deny the seriousness of their problems.
Internalizers are adaptable. Externalizers believe reality should bend to match their desires.
Most emotionally immature parents employ the externalizing coping style.
Adult children of neglectful parents often feel profoundly isolated without knowing why, since life can seem outwardly normal. Prioritizing parents' needs while denying their own temporarily soothes the parents, but it is without real connection and worsens loneliness. It also hurts the children’s ability to forge genuine connections with others because some parts of it would feel inauthentic.
Children who repress feelings often end up in disconnected relationships because the dynamics feel familiar and comfortable. Without connecting to their own feelings, they may rely on others to define their emotions.
Adult children of emotionally immature parents often lack self-worth. This is because the children’s needs and feelings were often neglected or shamed.
The path to healing is to connect with your true self.
Learn about your true self by creating two lists, one including things you loved to do as a child and things you love to do now (call this list “My True Self”), the other including things you’re doing for others that you dislike (call this list “My Role-Self”), then compare the two lists to evaluate if you’re living primarily for your true self.
Embrace breakdowns, this is an opportunity to learn about yourself and better yourself.
Acknowledge and validate your true feelings by thinking of a person who causes negative feelings in you and describe out loud, in clear short sentences, their behaviors that are damaging you (e.g., “I don’t like it when this person….”). Voicing your feelings aloud can help restore emotional well-being.
Emotionally immature parents punish anger the most, but anger can be a catalyst for change and self-worth. Conscious anger in overly responsible, anxious or depressed people can indicate their true self emerging.
Relationship issues present a big opportunity to find your true self as they’re often caused by unresolved issues from your childhood.
Realizing your parents have weaknesses, are vulnerable, and are not always wiser or know better than you do, can help you process your true self.
Consciously recognize and appreciate your strengths to self-validate. Emotionally immature parents do not show enough appreciation for their children’s positive qualities, leading the children to be embarrassed to show their aptitudes.
Talk about your past to process it. Research shows that emotional injuries affect us less if we discuss and integrate them.
To move forward healthily you must view your parents objectively. Realize that most immature parents are unable to change. Accepting this reality lets you interact based on who they are, not who you wish them to be, thus better managing limitations.
Use these strategies to limit emotional damage when engaging with emotionally immature parents:
Speak unemotionally and with focus. Express what you need to say and don’t let your parents’ reactions consume you.
Keep a goal in mind with each interaction. Focus on the outcome (e.g., set holiday plans) and don’t get distracted.
Be detached during interactions. Pretend you’re a researcher observing the situation. This prevents you from feeling powerless and too emotional.
If you become emotionally reactive: breathe deeply, refocus on observing with detachment and repeat “detach, detach, detach”, silently describe the situation objectively, or make an excuse (e.g., bathroom, an errand) to walk away to regroup.
You may need to set boundaries (e.g., suspending contact) to limit the damage your parents do to you. It can be difficult and most parents will protest, but it may be necessary. However, the boundaries can improve the relationship because they’ll feel less pressured to change and you’ll learn to need less of their acceptance.
Adult children often repeat dysfunctional relationship patterns by gravitating to what's familiar. Break the cycle by consciously bringing emotionally healthy people into your life while being your true self, communicating your needs, and seeking support when needed.
Characteristics of emotionally mature people:
They’re realistic, consistent, and reliable.
They’re able to think and feel at the same time.
They don’t take things personally or perceive slights where there are none.
They can laugh at their shortcomings.
They don’t constantly seek reassurances from others.
They’re respectful of boundaries and reciprocate generosity.
They’re flexible and collaborative.
They don’t pressure others into doing things.
They’re even-tempered.
When something is wrong they don’t sulk or withdraw affection, they tell you about it and ask you to do things differently.
They’re willing to change and be influenced.
They’re truthful.
They apologize genuinely, reflect on their actions, and make amends.
They’re empathetic and make you feel seen and understood.
They’re able to give and receive comfort.
They’re fun to be around.

Algorithms to Live By: The Computer Science of Human Decisions

Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths

Blending computer science and human behavior, this interdisciplinary work shows how learning principles that computers use can assist us in our everyday lives.

2.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

An algorithm is a finite series of steps that help computers and humans solve problems.
Algorithms have been used for thousands of years.
Following a recipe is an example of an algorithm.
Making a pros and cons list is an example of an intuitive algorithm, which is less precise than a typical algorithm.
Optimal stopping algorithm helps you to know when to stop evaluating candidates (job candidates, partners, apartments, etc.) and make a decision. It states that when making a major decision, reject the first 37% of candidates to establish a standard and choose the next best that comes along.
Multi-armed bandit problems involve the challenge of strategically choosing from multiple options to maximize gains. For example, choosing which slot machines to use in a casino and for how long.
The Upper Confidence Bound algorithm is a solution to the multi-armed bandit problem.
Choose the option with the best expected value (e.g., slot with the highest jackpot).
Record the actual results.
Move to the option with the next best expected value if actual results are worse than the expected results (e.g., you expected at least $5 after 20 slot pulls but you received $0).
Adaptive clinical trials is what the medical world often uses to solve multi-armed bandit problems. It allows mid-course modifications driven by data rather than continuing a fixed plan. It involves constantly recording data and changing plans or stopping experiments immediately based on the results.
There are different algorithms that can help you sort items.
Insertion sort: take any item and put it in the correct order, repeat until done.
Merge sort: divide items into multiple sections and combine them together in order (e.g., for books, divide them into A-Z piles by the authors’ last names, sort each letter’s pile, then merge them together at the end).
Computers offer useful organization tips applicable to physical clutter too. Similar to how computers store frequently and recently accessed data in the fast cache layer, we can keep what we use frequently and recently close to our desk for fast access. Brains also work similarly, with recently reviewed info more recallable. So when prepping for a test, read your notes before bed to "cache" them for easy morning access.
“We say ‘brain fart’ when we should really say ‘cache miss.’”
An algorithm to store and access items: use a small and easy-to-access bin for frequently used items, use a large bin for other items. As the small bin gets full, move the items that would be not used for the longest time into the large bin.
Remove unneeded items. “Sorting something that you will never search is a complete waste; searching something you never sorted is merely inefficient.”
Earliest Due Date algorithm: do the tasks with the earliest due dates first.
Moore’s Algorithm: minimize the amount of late tasks by starting with the Earliest Due Date algorithm and then skip the tasks that would take the longest.
In computer science, priority inversion is when a lower priority task blocks a higher priority task from accessing a shared resource, forcing the high priority task to wait. This can cause delays in critical tasks and hurt real-time system performance. This idea also applies in real life when we do unimportant tasks before high-priority tasks.
For productivity, focus on one task until complete. Task-switching is time-consuming as each change requires a reset of working memory.
Distribution patterns help us make predictions. For example, the normal distribution states that most occurrences fall near the average.
Transmittal until breakdown is an algorithm in telecommunications in which you keep making a request to communicate until you either succeed or the system breaks down. This is the equivalent of calling your mom over and over again until she picks up.
Exponential Backoff is a network congestion control algorithm used in computer networking and telecommunications in which you double the time you wait to make another request at communication for each unsuccessful attempt.
Complex situations require complex models. However, overfly complex models or algorithms run into the issue of overfitting, where the solution considers so many variables that it becomes only suitable for the provided set of data and inaccurate for any other data.
Try to accept effective solutions that are good enough over theoretical perfection. When used judiciously, algorithms provide useful frameworks for decision-making despite limitations.
“Don’t always consider all your options. Don’t necessarily go for the outcome that seems best every time. Make a mess on occasion. Travel light. Let things wait. Trust your instincts and don’t think too long. Relax. Toss a coin. Forgive, but don’t forget. To thine own self be true.”
Practice computational kindness, make things easy and clear for others.
“Seemingly innocuous language like 'Oh, I'm flexible' or 'What do you want to do tonight?' has a dark computational underbelly that should make you think twice. It has the veneer of kindness about it, but it does two deeply alarming things. First, it passes the cognitive buck: 'Here's a problem, you handle it.' Second, by not stating your preferences, it invites the others to simulate or imagine them. And as we have seen, the simulation of the minds of others is one of the biggest computational challenges a mind (or machine) can ever face.”

The Art of Happiness

Dalai Lama

Discover the transformative wisdom of the Dalai Lama as he guides you towards authentic happiness and inner peace.

3.4 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

External events may provide short-term happiness, but they do not have a lasting impact. We always quickly revert to our baseline of happiness, even if we win the lottery.
Achieving lasting happiness involves training the mind to cultivate positive mental states while eliminating negative ones.
Compassion is not only a crucial aspect of Buddhism but also lasting happiness.
Compassion is a nonaggressive state of mind with a wish to alleviate others' suffering, and extends to all living beings, transcending personal feelings and attachments.
Compassion also involves empathy, which means actively seeking to understand others' perspectives by considering their backgrounds and finding commonalities.
Research has shown that a compassionate attitude yields both mental and physical benefits, including emotional fulfillment and increased life expectancy. It also helps you to exude warmth and affinity to all individuals, irrespective of social status or familiarity.
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
The Western perspective that deep intimacy is only attainable through romantic relationships can be problematic, leaving those without such relationships feeling lonely and unhappy.
The concept of intimacy has varied across cultures and time periods, and there are numerous forms of intimacy beyond the romantic definition. The Dalai Lama exemplifies this by feeling an intimate connection with a diverse range of people in his life, including cooks and janitors.
By embracing the opportunities for connection with others on a daily basis, we lead happier lives.
Romantic relationships based solely on sexual desire or fleeting infatuation are unlikely to endure without a deeper and more lasting foundation. True and lasting relationships are built on respect, appreciation, and a profound understanding of the other person, which takes time to develop.
“No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” - Mark Twain
Suffering is an inherent aspect of life. Eastern cultures tend to be more accepting of this reality due to their proximity to poverty and daily hardships. In contrast, Westerners often perceive themselves as victims when faced with adversity.
When confronted with suffering, one's mental attitude becomes crucial. Viewing suffering as unnatural or unfair fosters a harmful victim mentality.
By accepting the natural existence of suffering, we can analyze its causes, including our own contributions, and strive for a happier life.
We often exacerbate suffering by resisting change and clinging to possessions or past negative experiences. (E.g., purposely mentally replaying negative events or holding on to anger to someone who’s wronged you in the past.)
Change is a perpetual universal force. We need to embrace it instead of resisting it.
Negative states of mind (anger, fear, jealousy, etc.) hinder our natural state of happiness and should be considered as poisons. However, positive emotions and behaviors such as love, compassion, patience, and generosity can serve as antidotes, effectively removing harmful attitudes and emotions.
This aligns with the principles of Western cognitive therapy, which aims to identify and correct maladaptive thoughts and behaviors.
By addressing distorted thinking patterns (e.g., exclusively focusing on negative areas and exaggerating them) and focusing on positive aspects, such as gratitude and well-being, individuals can lead better lives.
The process of replacing negative emotions and behaviors with positive ones is gradual and requires continuous effort.
When faced with negative situations, people often have a rigid view that sees them as entirely negative. However, most situations have both positive and negative aspects.
For example, sitting next to a smelly person on a train can be viewed negatively or as an opportunity to practice patience and empathy.
Shifting to have a supple mind means seeing the positives in negatives. It helps to find meaning in pain and suffering, turning obstacles into opportunities for personal growth. However, this shift takes time and effort, so it’s important to start cultivating it immediately.
“Although you may not always be able to avoid difficult situations, you can modify the extent to which you can suffer by how you choose to respond to the situation.”
Anger and hatred are the worst emotions for our health and happiness.
They cloud our judgment and make bad situations worse.
Studies show they increase the risk of cardiovascular diseases.
Suppressing them or venting them through outbursts feeds the negative feelings.
Counter them with patience and tolerance.
Developing a mindset of inner contentment alleviates stress and helps to reduce the threshold for feelings of negative emotions.
When negative emotions arise, take a time-out and analyze its source, considering whether it is destructive or constructive.
Negative emotions like anxiety are natural responses, but when they become excessive or persistent, they can have detrimental effects on mental and physical health (e.g., weakened immune system).
When in an anxiety inducing scenario, acknowledge your genuine motives for being in this scenario.
You will be less anxious during a job interview if you acknowledge that you truly want to contribute to the company.
You will be less scared to ask someone out on a date if you acknowledge that you really want to treat the other person with love and kindness.
Excessive anxiety often stems from low self-confidence, and the antidote is being open and honest about one's capabilities and limitations. Those who are accurately self-aware are happier and more self-assured.
Self-hatred comes from extreme low self-confidence. Self-hatred is nonexistent in Tibetan society as it is not considered an inherent part of the human spirit and Tibetans routinely celebrate the immense intellect and potential in us all.
Studies show that being religious positively impacts happiness and health, but you can still be spiritual without being tied to any specific religion.
The Dalai Lama dedicates around four hours daily to religious practices, but basic spirituality can be practiced in everyday life without elaborate rituals. For instance, resisting the urge to respond to someone angrily exemplifies basic spirituality.
Basic spirituality encompasses qualities like goodness, kindness, compassion, and concern for others, accessible to both religious and secular individuals. Embracing these qualities fosters a sense of connection with humanity, resulting in calmness, happiness, and peace.

The Art of War

Sun Tzu

The classic ancient Chinese military treatise with timeless wisdom.

2.7 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The Art of War is a treatise on military strategy and tactics written by successful Chinese general Sun Tzu over 2,500 years ago during a period of warring states in China.
There are five key factors to assess chances of victory:
Morale - unity of the people and troops.
Weather - adapt strategy to seasons and conditions.
Terrain - use geography and positions to your advantage.
Leadership - wisdom and sincerity builds confidence.
Doctrine - have constant, unified principles to follow.
“All warfare is based on deception.”
“When able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.”
Appear where unexpected and strike vulnerabilities.
Pick your battles. Meticulously assess preparation, timeliness, and situational factors, and only engage when a victory is all but assured.
“If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight, even though the ruler forbid it; if fighting will not result in victory, then you must not fight even at the ruler’s bidding.”
Limit the cost of conflict.
War is an expensive endeavor. Do not prolong conflict as it exhausts troops and drains resources.
Speed is essential. Wage war swiftly and decisively.
The best victories are won without conflict or damage.
“In the practical art of war, the best thing of all is to take the enemy’s country whole and intact; to shatter and destroy it is not so good.”
It’s best to win without fighting at all by emphasizing soft power through strategy and tactics.
Identify new frontiers beyond existing competition. Win by changing the game, not just beating others at their game.
Victory depends on knowing when to fight, how to handle forces of different strengths, the spirit of the army, preparedness, and military capacity without sovereign interference.
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
Coordination and drive from good soldiers will create the energy and momentum needed to win.
Discover opponents' vulnerabilities, conceal your own, attack weak spots in shifting, indirect ways while leveraging your strongest assets and advantages.
“The clever combatant imposes his will on the enemy, but does not allow the enemy’s will to be imposed on him. By holding out advantages to him, he can cause the enemy to approach of his own accord; or, by inflicting damage, he can make it impossible for the enemy to draw near.”
A good leader must know the environment well.
“When you surround an army, leave an outlet free. Do not press a desperate foe too hard.”
As a leader, you should avoid these five faults:
“Recklessness, which leads to destruction”
“Cowardice, which leads to capture”
“A hasty temper, which can be provoked by insults”
“A delicacy of honor which is sensitive to shame”
“Over-solicitude for his men, which exposes him to worry and trouble”
Lead by example, not by force.
Occupy sunny and raised positions before the enemy.
“The natural formation of the country is the soldier’s best ally; but a power of estimating the adversary, of controlling the forces of victory, and of shrewdly calculating difficulties, dangers and distances, constitutes the test of a great general.”
Leaders should have soft skills like integrity, kindness, and empathy.
Leaders should first treat the soldiers with humanity before enforcing discipline.
“Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys; look upon them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death.”
“Carefully study the well-being of your men, and do not overtax them.”
“Rapidity is the essence of war: take advantage of the enemy’s unreadiness, make your way by unexpected routes, and attack unguarded spots.”
“You will not succeed unless your men have tenacity and unity of purpose, and, above all, a spirit of sympathetic cooperation.”
“Place your army in deadly peril, and it will survive; plunge it into desperate straits, and it will come off in safety. For it is precisely when a force has fallen into harm’s way that is capable of striking a blow for victory.”
“No ruler should put troops into the field merely to gratify his own spleen; no general should fight a battle simply out of pique.”
Use espionage or research to understand competitors' strengths and weaknesses.
“What enables the wise sovereign and the good general to strike and conquer, and achieve things beyond the reach of ordinary men, is foreknowledge… Hence the use of spies… Spies are a most important element in war, because on them depends an army’s ability to move.”

Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience

Brené Brown

A thought-provoking and insightful exploration of the power of emotion and vulnerability.

2.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

It is important to gain clarity on the emotions we feel, so that they don't overwhelm us and make us feel lost.
The author, Brené Brown, developed a keen sense of emotional awareness as a child because she grew up with people who were susceptible to emotional outbursts. Her swim coach had an explosive temper and Brown's peers did not know why. However, Brown noticed the outbursts would happen when he saw someone not trying hard enough. At home, Brown's parents were unpredictable and got upset frequently, and Brown became good at identifying their sensitive soft-spots, or what she calls "shame triggers". Brown also realized the outbursts were not completely caused by the situation at hand (e.g., road rage), but there's always a deeper underlying reason why they became emotional.
Brown felt like she was always walking on eggshells because of her hypersensitivity to other people's emotions. To suppress the anxiety and fear brought upon by her sensitivity, she engaged in vices like smoking and drinking. However, she quickly realized that her unhealthy lifestyle made her feel even worse. She corrected herself, stopped her bad habits, started therapy, learned to embrace her feelings, and her life improved dramatically.
Imagine going to see a doctor for pains in your shoulder, but you cannot speak to the doctor and you can only wave and point. This will leave you frustrated and still with a bad shoulder. Describing our emotions with accurate language is just as important as describing physical pain, but many of us are not equipped to do so. Researchers asked 7,000 people to identify all the emotions they experience, and on average they can only name three -- sad, angry, and happy.
The ability to use the right language to express your emotions is called "emotional granularity". It helps you to get the help that you need, identify where your feelings are coming from, what your triggers are, and ways to comfort yourself. Having this tool will also make you feel more connected to yourself and to other people.
Sadness is a feeling that sometimes umbrellas more specific feelings like anguish, grief, hopelessness, or despair. It is important to identify the feeling you're experiencing with the most specific term, because even though the feelings can all be grouped under sadness, they are all different and require different responses.
Anguish is often unexpected and traumatic, and can affect us on a physiological level. It "comes for the bones".
Grief is a profound sense of loss.
Hopelessness is the feeling of finding your goals impossible to achieve.
Despair is thinking that life itself is hopelessness and that nothing will change. Despair can drive people to be suicidal as they believe that's the only agency they can have on their lives.
Hope is a skill that can be learned to deal with negative emotions. You can be more hopeful by setting realistic goals and meeting them.
Hopefulness is also infectious. Study shows that children of hopeful parents are also hopeful.
Another coping technique is called "the 3 Ps". When you're having negative emotions in a situation, think of its personalization (this is not really about me personally -- what are the other factors?), permanence (this probably won't matter in a minute/hour/month/year), and pervasiveness (this only affects a small area of my life, and doesn't hurt my family/relationships/work/etc.).
We learn to be more vulnerable and empathetic from experiencing and dealing with sadness. It is not a bad thing.
Happiness is more of a trait or a long-term emotional state from feeling in control than a temporary feeling. Joy is an unexpected happy feeling, usually with high intensity and more short term.
Feeling joy sometimes is so overwhelming that we develop foreboding joy, an irrational fear for something terrible to happen as to no longer being able to experience the current joy. For example, a parent might feel joy when they're watching their sleeping children, but they might also be suddenly fearful of something bad happening to them.
We should appreciate what we have in the moment and try not to let the pessimistic thoughts tarnish the joyful present.
Joy and gratitude comes hand in hand. Research shows people who show more gratitude experience more joy, and vice versa, thus creating an "upwards spiral".
Feeling gratitude is also a skill. You can practice it by keeping a gratitude journal, or listing a few things you're grateful for at the end of the day.
The rational part of the brain deactivates when there is overwhelming emotion. It is crucial to have time-outs and take a breather during these moments, especially when important matters are being discussed.

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

James Clear

A proven and practical guide that offers a framework for building better habits and breaking bad ones.

4.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The easiest way to make positive changes in your life is to cultivate the right habits.
If a plane heading to New York from Los Angeles adjusted its path just 3.5 degrees south, the plane would end up in Washington, DC. However, no passenger on the plane would notice until it's too late.
It is difficult to notice small changes because their immediate effect is insignificant. However, if you make small changes to your behavior and repeat them over time, they will become habits and lead to significant results. "Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement."
If you decide today to start jogging for 15 minutes a day, you might not notice a difference in your body tomorrow, but if you continue to do so, you will be fitter and healthier. It is more important to focus on your trajectory than your present results.
A habit is a repeated behavior that becomes automatic.
Psychologist Edward Thorndike conducted an experiment in which he placed cats in a black box. The cats struggled to get out until they eventually found a lever that opened the box leading to their escape. Thorndike repeated the experiment with the same cats, and overtime the cats always went straight to the lever to open the box, thus forming a habit. Humans form habits in a similar way.
The stages of a habit are cue, craving, response, and reward.
In the cat example, cue is being inside a black box. Craving is the desire to get out. Response is pulling the lever. Reward is the escape.
If you drink coffee every morning, that's a habit. The cue is waking up. The craving is wanting to feel more awake. The response is making and drinking the coffee. The reward is feeling alert and energized to start the day.
To build a new habit, build strong cues to drive the behavior you want.
One way is to change your environment. For example, a Boston doctor wanted to improve her patients' dietary habits. She rearranged the hospital cafeteria so that there is more water in the refrigerators next to the cash registers. This change resulted in a 11% decrease of soda sales and a 25% increase in water sales. Her patients subconsciously made healthier choices simply because of a subtle change in the environment.
Other examples: if you want to play an instrument more often, leave the instrument in a prominent place in your living area. If you want to eat healthier snacks, place the better choices on the counter and hide the unhealthy alternatives.
A detailed implementation is another way to improve your cues. Instead of saying "I'm going to be fitter", it is far more effective to say, "I'm going to run on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 8:30AM when the alarm goes off. I will put on my running gear and run two miles around the park." You should also leave your running shoes in a visible location -- it will serve as another cue for you to run and build this habit.
Neuroscientists James Olds and Peter Milner conducted an experiment in which rats' dopamine, a neurotransmitter, was blocked from release. This resulted in the rats dying of thirst. This is because the rats lost the desire to live, and did not drink, eat, or do anything else.
Dopamine makes humans feel good. It is released during pleasurable things like eating and having sex. Dopamine is also released during the anticipation of pleasurable things. It is a way to encourage us to do the things that we need or want to do.
Temptation bundling is a method to help build a habit by grouping a behavior that is important but unappealing to you with a behavior that's attractive to you. For example, whenever you clean the house, reward yourself with a movie you might enjoy immediately afterwards. Soon you'll look forward to doing the unappealing task due to the dopamine released by the reward anticipation.
Another way to introduce habits is to stack the new habit on top of an existing habit. For example, if you already have a habit of drinking coffee in the morning, you can start reading (the new habit) while you drink the coffee. The coffee drinking will give you momentum to read. Eventually, this routine will become automatic. This is called habit stacking.
To turn behaviors into habits, it's important to make the behavior as easy to adapt as possible. We can easily waste time on social media because it's effortless to do. We have more difficulty doing things like studying Chinese because it takes effort. However, we can reduce the friction of the hard things to make them easier.
Know the difference between motion and action. Motion is reading articles on healthy eating. Action is actually eating healthy meals. Motion is watching tutorial videos. Action is doing them. We get stuck in motion because it feels like progress, but it's just a veiled way of procrastination. We delay action because we're scared of failure. Motion feels like making progress, but action is making progress.
The author is bad at sending greeting cards, but his wife always sends them consistently. Her secret is that she has a box of greeting cards already sorted by occasion. She's made sending greeting cards a habit by significantly reducing the fiction of the task.
To reduce bad habits, we can increase the friction. For example, to curtail TV watching, try unplugging the cables and removing the batteries from the remote.
Another technique to build good habits is the two-minute rule, which says any activity can be reduced into a habit that can be done within two minutes. If you want to read more, instead of setting a goal of 20 books a year, just try to read two pages a day. The momentum will carry you forward, and you'll likely end up reading more than two pages a day.
The two-minute rule works because getting started is the hardest part of doing unappealing tasks. Making the start unthreatening is crucial to achieving habits easily.
We are evolved to deal with an immediate-return environment, meaning we are more receptive to actions that reward us instantly (e.g., finding and eating a meal when hungry).
Immediate returns can induce bad habits like smoking -- it temporarily relieves stress from nicotine withdrawal, but can lead to lung cancer years later.
In the modern world, we mostly live in a delayed-return environment -- many of our actions don't see results until later. We work, but we don't get paid until the end of the month. We go to the gym, but we don't see a difference the next day.
To create good habits in a delayed-return environment, it's invaluable to attach something to the habits that will make them immediately satisfying.
A health researcher wanted to reduce illnesses in a Pakistani neighborhood . He simply introduced premium soap into the neighborhood. The soap smelled great and lathered nicely. This encouraged the residents to wash their hands significantly more often, because now the task was enjoyable. The result was 52% reduction in diarrhea in children, 48% reduction in pneumonia, and 35% reduction in skin infections.
Habit tracking is an effective technique to build and keep good habits. An example of habit tracking is listing in a calendar on a daily basis all the good habits you kept and bad habits you avoided that day. Habit tracking itself is a good and gratifying habit -- it builds anticipation and grants immediate satisfaction when you list your accomplishments.
Benjamin Franklin used habit tracking meticulously. He had a notebook in which he remarked on his daily successes in keeping his habits.
Another way to keep good habits is to create a habit contract and set negative consequences for when the contract is broken. For example, go to the gym every day, and if you miss a day, give $100 dollars to your trainer.
Letting others know about your contract and goals is also helpful, as we can use our aversion to failing others as motivation to succeed in building good habits.
Above methods all contribute to making habit building obvious (set up cues), attractive (create a craving), easy (simplify the response), and satisfying (reward yourself).

Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup

John Carreyrou

A riveting true story of the meteoric rise and shocking fall of Theranos, a billion-dollar healthcare startup built on lies.

2.2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Elizabeth Holmes, who feared needles and wanted to be a billionaire since age 10, conceived the idea for a machine to revolutionize medical diagnoses.
In 2004, she founded Theranos (originally named Real-Time Cures) with Stanford colleague Shaunak Roy to develop a wearable patch using microneedles to test blood, but they realized microneedles couldn’t draw enough blood.
Theranos pivoted to making a credit card-sized device to draw blood using a pinprick. The results would then be fed to a toaster-sized machine and it would test for over 200 diseases. The device would be cheap and portable. Holmes envisioned the device in every home. They called this device Edison.
There were many technical hurdles they weren’t able to clear, including:
It was impossible to test for more than 80 diseases with such a small blood sample size.
The sample became increasingly diluted during the testing process, making the results inaccurate.
Edison was temperature sensitive. It might be inaccurate in different climates.
The pipettes clogged often and required specialists to fix.
Despite shortcomings, Holmes effectively used the media spotlight to hype Edison.
She resembled the female Steve Jobs -- wore black turtlenecks, deepened her voice, and used the same ad agency that Apple used.
“Like her idol Steve Jobs, she emitted a reality distortion field that forced people to momentarily suspend disbelief.”
The technology seemed disruptive and promising. Investors were scared to miss out.
“By positioning Theranos as a tech company in the heart of the Valley, Holmes channeled this fake-it-until-you-make-it culture, and she went to extreme lengths to hide the fakery.”
“Elizabeth was so persuasive. She had this intense way of looking at you while she spoke that made you believe in her and want to follow her.”
By 2014, Theranos reached a $9B valuation, had global deals with Walgreens and Safeway.
Theranos boasted higher accuracy than competitors despite a 65% failure rate. Some key tests like testosterone failed 87% of the time.
Theranos lied continuously to investors and government agencies about its capabilities. When Theranos demonstrated the Edison, they secretly ran the tests on other machines and pretended the results came from Edison.
Sometimes the Edison would be completely nonfunctional and Theranos would simply display made-up results.
Theranos inappropriately excluded outliers to make the data fit their needs.
Theranos went to great lengths to deceive people about FDA status and avoid FDA scrutiny. It claimed Edison was an informational tool and not a medical device to evade regulation. Theranos also cherry-picked the few tests that could pass FDA approval to publicly boast and pretended to advocate for more FDA regulation. This generated publicity while hiding lack of comprehensive approval.
Theranos provided unreliable data to many real patients, which has serious medical consequences.
Theranos experienced high employee turnover as staff resigned over the company’s dishonesty. Many were replaced by Indian employees who were dependent on the company for their visas.
Staff were forced to sign NDAs to prevent leaks, some were threatened and monitored by private investigators.
Toxic culture took a toll on employees' mental health. Ian Gibbons, the chief scientist at Theranos who worked there for ten years, was demoted for questioning the company’s practices. Gibbons committed suicide two months later, the night before he was scheduled to be deposed in a lawsuit related to Theranos.
The author and his sources faced threats and harassment, but still went forward to expose Theranos.
After evidence of Therano’s malpractices surfaced, partnerships were dropped and more litigations ensued.
The company was dissolved on September 4, 2018, months after this book was first published. Holmes and former company president Sunny Balwani were found guilty of fraud. Holmes was sentenced to 11 years and 3 months in prison. Balwani was sentenced to 12 years and 11 months in prison and 3 years of probation. Holmes and Balwani were also ordered to jointly pay $452 million to the victims of the fraud.

Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End

Atul Gawande

A personal and professional journey to rethink the goals and limits of medicine in the face of aging and mortality.

5.2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

In medical school, the author was taught to save lives, not care for the dying.
“Medical professionals concentrate on repair of health, not sustenance of the soul. Yet -- and this is the painful paradox -- we have decided that they should be the ones who largely define how we live in our waning days.”
Death is not a medical failure but an inevitable part of life, yet doctors still struggle to comprehend this, often causing great suffering by pursuing treatments with little benefit as patients deteriorate. The author sets out to examine how the experience of mortality has changed in modern times and how care for the dying can be improved.
“Death, of course, is not a failure. Death is normal. Death may be the enemy, but it is also the natural order of things.”
The author’s wife's grandmother, Alice, lived independently into old age, in contrast with the author’s grandfather, Sitaram, in India, who was entirely cared for by his family.
While Sitaram's situation allowed him to retain direction over his farm and business affairs into extreme old age, the expectation of family care put burdens on his children's freedom and mobility.
As life expectancy rose in the 20th century, more elderly people accumulated enough wealth to maintain independence from their children, enabled by pensions, retirement programs, and elder services, though ultimately independence fails for even very healthy seniors like Alice.
The shift toward independent living allows more freedom and options for both young and old, but does not resolve the necessity of care when infirmities like memory loss, injuries from falls, and inevitable health issues set in.
Though many believe they want the traditional family care Sitaram received, historical trends show people generally prefer autonomy and separation for both parents and children when economic independence is possible.
Normal aging brings lowered lung capacity, hardened blood vessels, shrinking brains, bad teeth, slower bowels, etc. -- changes doctors can manage, not cure or reverse.
About 350,000 Americans fall and break a hip every year.
Modern medicine extends lifespans but creates challenges around managing the increasing number of older people.
In 1945, most US deaths occurred at home. In the 1980s it dropped to 17%, since adult children are now more spread out and busy.
“Modernization did not demote the elderly. It demoted the family. It gave people -- the young and the old -- a way of life with more liberty and control, including the liberty to be less beholden to other generations. The veneration of elders may be gone, but not because it has been replaced by veneration of youth. It’s been replaced by veneration of the independent self.”
Geriatricians specialize in helping older people maintain quality of life but their field is often undervalued.
Case studies show geriatric care can help manage chronic conditions and prevent disability.
Society needs to better prioritize geriatric care and train more doctors to handle the needs of an aging population.
Finding purpose and maintaining independence are key for a good quality of life in old age.
Felix cares devotedly for his declining wife Bella, but her cascading losses -- vision, hearing, memory -- ultimately sever communication and force separation to a nursing home, where she falls, breaks her legs, and dies, leaving Felix bereft.
Alice dreads leaving home for assisted living, and once forced into the nursing wing after falls, she feels imprisoned -- her privacy and independence gone, as safety regulations strip away autonomy and meaning. Alice ultimately dies after months resisting care, seeming to choose death over merely existing in custody.
In 1980, 83-year-old Harry Truman defied evacuation warnings and stayed put at his home below Mount Saint Helens. Unwilling to abandon his life, he gambled with eruption, ultimately perishing when the volcano roared to life. His story embodies the fierce independence some seek, and that safety and longevity come at the cost of control over one's last days.
Though far better than poorhouses, nursing homes were an accident of history, created to clear hospital beds and exploit Medicare. Nursing homes were never meant for living, as they isolate people from what they still cling to.
When Lou's declining health after his wife's death forces him to leave home, daughter Shelley struggles to care for him amidst her job and family, so they compromise on an assisted living facility, yet it proves lonely and grim. Though founded as an empowering alternative to nursing homes, assisted living has often become a halfway house to institutionalization, with rigid rules that cater more to worried children than happy parents.
Children making choices for declining parents face an impossible tension between safety or happiness, and protecting our loved ones or controlling them.
Research suggests that older people prioritize close relationships and the present pleasures over new relationships and experiences. This might come from a sense of limited time, as when horizons contract, focus shifts from future opportunities to present meaning.
“How we seek to spend our time may depend on how much time we perceive ourselves to have.”
Research shows that old people are generally happier and found life more emotionally satisfying and stable.
Bill Thomas transformed Chase Memorial Nursing Home by introducing pets, children, and plants to combat the three plagues of nursing homes -- boredom, loneliness, and helplessness.
Medication needed and deaths both fell after these practices were introduced.
Having something to care for gives residents a reason to live and improves their mental and physical well-being.
Philosopher Josiah Royce theorized people need causes beyond themselves, big or small, to find meaning.
Institutions and professionals need to respect and support individual agency even in old age, allowing people to maintain a connection to their identities and purpose for as long as possible.
Successful models feature smaller housing units, personalized care, and opportunities for socialization and engagement.
“The only way death is not meaningless is to see yourself as part of something greater: a family, a community, a society. If you don’t, mortality is only a horror.”
When Sara’s terminal lung cancer finally leaves her struggling to breathe, her doctor suggests that she prepares for the end, avoiding more chemotherapy, ventilation and tests, so she can die peacefully at home.
Doctors need to navigate the difficult balance between offering hope and acknowledging the limitations of medicine, helping patients shift their focus to quality of life rather than prolonging death when appropriate.
Doctors should ask terminally ill patients what activities matter the most to them, then suggest procedures with those priorities in mind, even if they could shorten life.
As a brave general leads troops wisely, so must doctors help terminal patients fight the winnable battles -- for pain relief, family time, or one last chocolate ice cream -- while knowing when the war against mortality itself is lost.
Though contentious and illegal in many places, ideally assisted suicide would be an option to those who are suffering excruciating pain.
Open communication about end-of-life wishes is crucial for patients and families to make informed decisions and avoid unnecessary suffering.
Where doctors usually over-treat, the field of hospice focuses on maximizing comfort and awareness when little time is left.
“Those who saw a palliative care specialist stopped chemotherapy sooner, entered hospice far earlier, experienced less suffering at the end of their lives -- and they lived 25% longer.”
“You live longer only when you stop trying to live longer.”
25% of US healthcare spending goes to the treatment for last-year-of-life patients, but they account for only 5% percent of total patients.
The author’s father, facing a tumor, decides to prioritize quality of life over aggressive treatment, opting for surgery only when his symptoms worsen. Through hospice care and palliative support, he manages his pain and retains control over his remaining time. In the end, the author helped his father die on his own terms, focusing on minimizing unnecessary suffering while prioritizing comfort and family.
We need to talk honestly about aging, illness and death with our loved ones, before it is too late to make informed and meaningful choices. By facing death openly, we can reduce its suffering.
Ask what trade-offs we are willing to make at the end of our lives, and what makes life worth living for us.
Accepting our mortality can empower us to live authentically and choose our dying role.
Peg, the author’s daughter’s piano teacher who had terminal cancer, decided to use her final days to give lessons to her students.
Medicine should prioritize well-being over mere survival and drawing out death. Focus needs to be on understanding patients' hopes and fears to guide treatment choices.
“A few conclusions become clear when we understand this: that our most cruel failure in how we treat the sick and the aged is the failure to recognize that they have priorities beyond merely being safe and living longer; that the chance to shape one’s story is essential to sustaining meaning in life; that we have the opportunity to refashion our institutions, our culture, and our conversations in ways that transform the possibilities for the last chapters of everyone’s lives.”
While the author’s father ultimately succumbed to disease, he accepted life’s limitations and died on his own terms, leaving a sense of peace for his family. As the author’s family spread his father’s ashes in the Ganges River, they feel grateful that he now has found eternal salvation and is connected to something larger.

Beyond Good and Evil

Friedrich Nietzsche

A critique of traditional moral and philosophical frameworks, arguing for a reexamination of values that moves beyond simplistic notions of good and evil.

2.7 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Nietzsche begins by questioning the assumed value of truth, challenging the traditional binary opposition between truth and untruth that has underpinned most philosophy.
Conventional philosophers have typically relied on binary oppositions like good/bad and good/evil to assess value, while advocating for their own prejudices as universal truths. Nietzsche advocates crushing one's moral prejudices to actually descend to philosophical depths and truths.
Every philosophy can be seen as "a kind of involuntary and unconscious memoir" reflecting the moral preferences of its philosopher.
Nietzsche suggests that human thinking is not strictly rational, but is influenced by unconscious physiological drives and a "will to power" (the main drive of life).
“A living thing seeks above all to discharge its strength -- life itself is will to power; self-preservation is only one of the indirect and most frequent results.”
Nietzsche argues that concepts like religion and the existence of the soul are unprovable dogmatic "fictions" rather than absolute truths.
Nietzsche is skeptical of philosophy's capacity for true discovery, noting how philosophies across cultures rediscover older ideas, potentially shaped by the similar grammars of their languages.
Nietzsche posits the emergence of "free spirit" philosophers -- those who are independent, reject dogmatic moralities in favor of synthesizing new ethics, and experiment with different philosophies. For Nietzsche, such free-thinking individuals are important to revitalizing European culture beyond its perceived moral and philosophical decadence.
“The strength of a person's spirit would then be measured by how much 'truth' he could tolerate, or more precisely, to what extent he needs to have it diluted, disguised, sweetened, muted, falsified.”
Nietzsche argued assumptions are inevitable in philosophy, as even the statement "I think" contains unjustified premises like the existence of an "I" and a clear understanding of thinking itself. He believed the entire Western philosophical tradition was pervaded by unacknowledged prejudices from Christian theology.
Nietzsche argued that the concept of a unified, enduring "self" or "soul" was an illusion adopted from Christian theology. Instead, he saw human beings as containing a multitude of competing drives and desires unified only by the basic will to power -- an innate drive for self-assertion, dominance, and the spreading of one's influence derived from our animal nature.
While philosophers imagined humanity as moral, selfless, and holier than animals, Nietzsche claimed our motivations were often basic, darker, stemming from this underlying will to power that we tend to rationalize away.
“He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”
Nietzsche criticizes the conformity and lack of independent thinking among scholars, arguing that they often simply repeat the views of their predecessors rather than engaging in original and critical thought. He suggests that true philosophers must go beyond the boundaries of scholarly conventions and develop their own unique perspectives.
Nietzsche questions conventional notions of what is considered good or virtuous, critiquing philosophies that measure value based on pleasure and pain. He argues that attempting to "abolish suffering" is misguided, as suffering is essential for enhancing human virtues, strengthening the soul, and allowing individuals to create and perfect themselves. Rather than seeking mere comfort, Nietzsche contends that the philosopher should nobly pursue knowledge, even if accompanied by suffering, which acts as a crucible for human development.
Nietzsche rejected Plato's notion of an eternal, unchanging "Truth" that exists independently of human observers and perspectives. He argued there are no such transcendent truths, only individual human experiences and the diverse perspectives and languages we use to make sense of that experience.
To Nietzsche, all philosophies necessarily reflect the particular perspective of their creators rather than any objective reality beyond the plurality of subjective viewpoints.
Nietzsche challenged the value of Christian morality's virtues like selflessness, kindness, and empathy, which previous philosophers had taken for granted as good. He argued this "herd morality" diminishes the individual by requiring the suppression of one's desires and will to power for the sake of serving others and society. While morality tamed humanity's outward aggression, Nietzsche believed it turned that energy inward through guilt and self-denial, hurting rather than elevating the individual.
Nietzsche argued that modern European morality originated from a "slave morality" that arose among oppressed classes out of resentment toward their oppressors. This slave morality vilified the "master morality" values like freedom, power and sensuality celebrated by ruling classes, instead promoting virtues like kindness and pity that made suffering more bearable. Over time, Nietzsche believed the life-denying slave morality of Christianity infiltrated and overtook the life-affirming master moralities of earlier societies.
While Christianity helped spread the notion of equality, Nietzsche argued that people in the real world are inherently unequal in their abilities, strengths and intelligence. He believed the universal values of Christian morality hindered society's progress by enforcing homogeneity and constraining the development of exceptional, independent minds who push culture forward.

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

Elizabeth Gilbert

An inspiring must-read guide to living the creative life you were born for.

2.3 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Creativity is about living curiously and finding the hidden gifts within you. Your gifts could be anything from painting to karate.
“The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them.”
Ideas exist like breathing entities waiting to be brought to life. They exist independently of us like animals and plants. When a persistent thought grabs hold of you, pay attention. Don't let distractions and fear stop you from exploring it.
Ideas drift until they find receptive creators ready to realize them.
The author was inspired to write a novel set in the Amazon jungle but abandoned it. Soon another writer began to write a novel with an almost identical concept. To the author, it was clear the neglected idea found a new taker.
Fear often makes us feel hesitant to pursue creative endeavors. Fear is natural and is a reminder of what matters to us. We need to accept them and coexist with them.
“It seems to me that the less I fight my fear, the less it fights back. If I can relax, fear relaxes, too.”
Your inner critic often tries to convince you that you'll fail. To combat this, give yourself confident permission to pursue your art. Declare your creative identity and say out loud “I’m a writer/musician/runner/etc.!”
“You can measure your worth by your dedication to your path, not by your successes or failures.”
Rejection is impersonal. We all will face it before we achieve success.
One of the author's stories was once dismissed by an editor, then years later, after the author became famous, she sent the same story to the editor again, and this time the editor decided it was amazing and special.
Your art is for you, not an audience. Get passionate about sharing what you want to share. It doesn't have to be wholly original, nothing truly is, just be authentic.
Focus on enjoying the creative journey. Let go of goals and desired outcomes. Basing creativity on external validation or fixed aims makes success contingent on forces outside your control. This reliance makes you more likely to give up if goals aren't achieved.
Creativity is born from real world living experiences and an open mind. Many creative people often feel pressure to legitimize their passion with academic credentials, but this isn’t required to create.
You can keep your day job to support creative pursuits -- approach creative work like an affair.
Before fame, Toni Morrison and J.K. Rowling stole time from their routine lives to indulge in their writing affairs. These become beloved rituals amid daily grinds.
Keeping your day job removes pressure from your art. Your art suffers and your enjoyment of creating it diminishes when you rely on it to provide financially.
When an idea first comes, work with it cooperatively. Think of the idea as a creative partner deserving dignity and respect. Don't fret, fight it, ignore it, or procrastinate. Give it the attention it deserves by getting more rest to be alert and scheduling uninterrupted work time.
Let yourself feel satisfied with progress.
All creative pursuits have obstacles. Don't avoid them -- accept them as equal parts of the job. Building the ability to cope with obstacles is as integral to creating as the act itself.
“It’s a simple and generous rule of life that whatever you practice, you will improve at.”
Perfectionism is a major creativity killer. Perfection is impossible -- there will always be flaws you or others see. Striving for perfection is pointless, so create imperfectly.
“Done is better than good.”
Perfectionism seems like having high standards but really manifests from the fear of unworthiness or insecurity.
To remain creative long-term:
Hunt for creative time in "between" moments like before bed or commutes.
Cultivate curiosity about everything and notice clues to new creative ideas.
Reframe all work, especially misses, as "interesting" -- an attitude that encourages growth, not giving up.
Never view any of your creative output as sacred or the crowning achievement. You can always create something better (or worse) in the future. It doesn't matter as long as you keep enjoying the process.

Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking

Malcolm Gladwell

A thought-provoking classic that explores the power of our intuition and the importance of making snap judgments.

2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

We use our intuition in decision-making more than we think. Intuition can often lead to better judgments by cutting out irrelevant information, but can also be influenced by unconscious biases. The key to making good decisions is knowing when to trust your intuition and when to analyze a situation more deeply.
The human brain has two strategies for decision-making: conscious analysis and unconscious snap judgments. Snap judgments allow the brain to quickly process situations and decide the best course of action. People often distrust snap judgments, but they can be superior to conscious decisions.
Many art experts can spot fakes within seconds because they get an odd feeling when seeing a forgery, even though they can’t explain why.
Some tennis professionals can immediately predict when a player is about to serve a fault.
A study found that the quality of a marriage can be assessed with great accuracy from observing just a few seconds of a normal interaction between the couple.
The unconscious mind can quickly differentiate between important and irrelevant information, making it easier to make accurate judgments. It’s often better to focus on a few key factors rather than suffering analysis paralysis -- analyzing every bit of available information when making decisions.
A more accurate and quicker method to diagnose heart attacks was developed by using much less information than was previously standard.
The ability to make quick judgments based on only a small amount of information is called thin-slicing.
We sometimes try to fabricate logical explanations for our snap judgments. For example, when we meet someone we will intuitively know if we like them, but they will often contradict the rationally compiled list of desirable characteristics we had before.
Professionals, from goalkeepers to investors, all rely on their intuitions, which are developed by experience, training, and knowledge.
Our unconscious associations can impact our behavior and decision-making. This phenomenon is called priming.
A study involving participants competing in Trivial Pursuit showed that individuals who visualized being a professor outperformed those who visualized being a football hooligan.
We unconsciously associate certain attributes with qualities like power and competence. Such associations can be dangerous.
Research has demonstrated that being a tall, white male results in higher salaries and greater access to top management positions.
Warren Harding, arguably the worst US president in history, was elected as US President based solely on his presidential appearance and not his skills.
The best way to overcome our prejudices is to experience new things and meet new people.
Emotional expressions are universal and can make connections in ways that logic alone cannot, but stress can impair our ability to recognize them. This tunnel vision can make us temporarily autistic, similar to those with autism who struggle to read non-verbal signals. It's important to reduce stress to avoid this and prevent unpredictable behavior.
Tunnel vision caused by stress is a factor for many police shootings of innocent people.
Market researchers often fail to predict consumer behavior.
Coca Cola's introduction of New Coke was a massive failure despite positive taste tests. This was because of unrealistic testing conditions (test subjects only had a single sip).
To ensure accuracy, market research should closely resemble the actual consumption environment of the product.
Consumers tend to rate innovative products negatively at first, needing time to get used to them.
To prevent unconscious prejudices from affecting our decisions, we should avoid irrelevant information.
The music industry began using screens during auditions to hide the gender of the musicians so that they could be evaluated solely on their performance, leading to more opportunities for talented female musicians.

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Bessel van der Kolk

An acclaimed book that explores the lasting impact of trauma on the body and mind, and provides a path towards healing and reclaiming one's life.

3.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Trauma results from an experience of extreme pain or stress that leaves the victim feeling helpless and overwhelmed. War, violent crimes, and accidents can all cause trauma.
Trauma is more common than we realize. For example, 12 million women were victims of rape in 2014, and more than 50% of the victims were under the age of 15 at the time of the assault.
People with trauma often experience PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), which can lead to depression and substance abuse. Traumatized people are also more prone to physiological illnesses due to the impact on the immune system from stress.
Traumatized people tend not to trust those who haven't experienced similar trauma, including their family and close friends. This mistrust can be difficult in relationships and often leads to estrangement or divorce.
The author set up a therapy group for traumatized veterans. The veterans shared their experiences with each other, but it took weeks of trust-building for the veterans to accept the author, since he did not experience trauma from war.
A flashback is when a PTSD sufferer is reminded of their trauma and their body and brain enter a high-stress mode, re-experiencing the memory as if it were real.
The author set up an experiment to record brain activity as trauma patients read a script recounting their traumatic experiences. Marsha, a 40-year-old teacher, went through this experiment. She was in a car accident that killed her 5-year-old daughter and her unborn child she was pregnant with.
As she listened to the script, the activity in her left brain slowed down and effectively "deactivated". Since the left brain is responsible for rational thinking, it made it difficult for Marsha to realize that the flashback wasn't real.
Marsha's Broca's area also showed a significant decrease in activity. The Broca's area is responsible for speech, and thus she was unable to speak.
Her stress hormone levels also shot up and took much longer to recover to normal levels than the time it'd take for someone who is mentally healthy.
Traumatized children are especially prone to a wide range of issues that lasts well into adulthood, because their brains aren't fully yet developed.
Traumatized children often catastrophize and expect bad things to happen.
The author conducted an experiment in which children looked at and described pictures. One picture showed a father fixing a car underneath it while his two kids watched. Children without trauma told positive stories from the image (e.g., the father successfully fixed the car and then they went to McDonald's). Traumatized children gave grim descriptions. One said a kid in the picture would smash the father's head with a hammer. Another said the car would fall and crush the dad. These children saw triggers in the image that made them imagine the scenario ending badly. This kind of thinking pattern often persists into adulthood.
Traumatized people may try to repress their traumas, but the traumas usually manifest themselves in damaging ways. Marilyn, a patient of the author's and a former nurse, told the author that she's had a happy childhood even though it wasn't true. She was sexually abused as a child and she still suffered the consequences as an adult. She was prone to lashing out when men touched her, even in her sleep. She also developed an autoimmune disease that damaged her vision, which likely was a result of the stress her trauma caused on her body.
In an experiment, the author demonstrated two ways of remembering. The experiment asked participants to describe important events in their lives.
For non-traumatic events, people recall the general feelings of the event, like happiness or nervousness, but they don't remember detailed sensory information, like what people wore or what smells were present.
For traumatic events, details from the senses, like smell, touch, taste, and hearing, were significantly more prominent in the patient's memories. One rape victim patient couldn't go to parties anymore because a specific smell of alcohol instantly triggered her traumatic memories.
Traumatic memories are also more consistent. In one long-term Harvard study, participants were asked to periodically recount their experiences from 1939 to 1945. The memories of participants who weren't traumatized by war changed over time, while the memories of World War II veterans and subsequent PTSD sufferers remained consistent even 45 years after the war ended.
One of the most effective techniques to address trauma is EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing). In EMDR, the patient tracks a finger moving back and forth their field-of-vision while recalling a traumatic experience and being guided through it.
EMDR is a simple and unconventional technique, but it helps to integrate the trauma into the patient's memories. Once a memory is integrated, the patient will no longer experience the trauma as if it's happening in real-time. It will become an event in the past and will no longer have control over their lives.
The body and mind are closely connected. In order to live a healthy life, it's important to understand how our emotions impact our bodies and apply it to our living. Trauma makes this difficult.
People with trauma can be hypersensitive to harmless situations. Many traumatized people numb their negative feelings temporarily with damaging activities like drinking, taking drugs, or overloading themselves with work.
Yoga is a healthy way to deal with the negative emotions from trauma and their impact on the body. It helps the trauma sufferer consciously inhabit their bodies to explore and accept the bad sensations instead of repressing them.
Mindfulness is an effective tool to recover from trauma. Mindfulness is about being conscious of your body and your emotions. By being aware of your feelings and how they impact your body, instead of repressing them, you can then begin the healing process.
Mindfulness can reduce the impacts of trauma like depression, stress, and chronic pain. It can also improve immune responses and activate regions in the brain that help with managing emotions and stress hormones.
Personal relationships are crucial to trauma recovery. Friends, family, and mental health professionals all play a valuable role. Networks formed through groups like AA meetings, religious congregations, and veterans’ organizations are often vital in one's recovery.
The electrical signals in our brains make up our thoughts. These brain waves can be damaged by trauma.
One type of brain waves, alpha waves, are released when we feel relaxed and calm. Research showed that the longer a soldier spends in a warzone, the fewer alpha waves his brain produced, thus weakening his ability to focus and relax, similar to issues exhibited by children diagnosed with ADHD.
Neurofeedback is an extremely effective technique to help trauma patients produce alpha waves. During neurofeedback treatment, patients are shown a real-time display of their brain wave activities. They can monitor when they need to make a conscious effort to relax to generate more alpha waves. When they succeed, the results are immediately shown and the patient is rewarded.
Although neurofeedback is a proven effective procedure, it is rarely adapted. We still need to do a lot more to further the understanding and awareness of trauma.

Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen

Christopher McDougall

Blending scientific research and thrilling storytelling, this book unravels the mysteries behind the incredible athletic abilities of the Tarahumara people.

3.1 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The author is athletic but had recurring running injuries and went to sports medicine specialists, but found no solutions besides quitting running.
Many doctors caution against running due to high annual injury rates (around 65-80%).
The author started to question why something so natural can be bad for us.
“'In terms of stress relief and sensual pleasure, running is what you have in your life before you have sex.'”
The author learned of the Tarahumara (Rarámuri) tribe, a mysterious group of Mexican super runners located deep within the Copper Canyons in Mexico, who can run extreme distances over rugged terrain wearing minimal footwear, seemingly injury-free.
A Tarahumara runner once ran 435 miles nonstop.
Tarahumara people enjoy long lives within an egalitarian society and are free of modern health issues like heart disease and depression. A 1971 study called them the most physically fit people since ancient Spartans.
Tarahumara people don’t train, they see running as a human necessity and part of Tarahumara identity.
Tarahumara people participate in rarájipari, an ancient traditional game in which people fling two wooden balls with their feet as they chase after them. The game could last all night and go up to 50-60 miles.
Human bodies are evolved for endurance running.
We survived by hunting animals through persistence hunting -- chasing prey to exhaustion.
Four-legged animals overheat more easily since galloping limits their breathing and they can’t sweat to cool down like humans do.
Bipedalism allowed humans to stand up to expand lung capacity for increased endurance.
The Achilles tendon, arched feet, and butt muscles are uniquely human features that help to propel us forward efficiently.
Humans stay good at distance running for decades. 64-year-old runners can outpace 19-year-olds.
“If you don't think you were born to run you're not only denying history. You're denying who you are.”
“You don't stop running because you get old, you get old because you stop running.”
In ultramarathons, women tend to outperform men, but this performance difference diminishes as the race distance increases.
People tend to run ultramarathons because they love to run. There is not much fame or money in ultramarathons.
Approaching running as means to an end (e.g., to lose weight) leads to dislike of running. To excel at distance running, you must befriend the sensations of running, and learn to love running again as you did when you were a child.
“That was the real secret of the Tarahumara: they'd never forgotten what it felt like to love running. They remembered that running was mankind's first fine art, our original act of inspired creation.”
“Only recently have we come up with the technology to turn lazing around into a way of life. We've taken our sinewy, durable, hunter-gatherer bodies and plunked them into an artificial world of leisure.”
A former Californian boxer named Micah True/"Caballo Blanco" (White Horse) came to live among the Tarahumara tribe to escape modern life.
He embraced their lifestyle -- wearing sandals, eating pinole corn, and running extreme trails.
Caballo became much healthier and happier through his Tarahumara immersion.
Caballo planned a 50-mile race in Copper Canyons between US and Tarahumara runners.
Tarahumara runner Arnulfo Quimare, star American ultramarathoner Scott Jurek, the party-crazy and Beat-Poetry-loving ultramarathoner couple Jenn Shelton and Billy Barnett, and the author would all join the race.
Top ultramarathon runners are often vegetarian.
Vegetarian diets provide maximum nutrition from the fewest calories.
With a vegetarian diet, the body doesn't carry extra bulk or slowly digest protein. It also allows more time to train as carbs digest faster than protein.
The Tarahumara diet is vegetarian. Scott Jurek also ate a mostly vegetarian diet.
Barefoot Ted is an accomplished runner who began running barefoot to eliminate back pain from shoes.
Tarahumara runners run barefoot or with simple sandals.
Studies show that expensive running shoes are associated with higher probabilities of injuries. Runners wearing pricey shoes face a 123% higher risk of injury compared to those in affordable, flat-soled footwear.
Natural pronation of the feet when running acts as shock absorption but is marketed as "bad" by shoe companies.
Shoes restrict foot movement and lead to weakened muscles and tendons.
Cushioned shoes prevent us from feeling painful impact and lead to bad form, whereas barefoot running provides constant feedback to help us adapt the correct gait naturally.
Under coach Eric Orton's guidance, the author prepared for Caballo's race with a "back to basics" approach, focusing on form, strength, pace, and diet.
Utilizing a metronome the author learned the Tarahumara's quicker foot turnover and proper form. He also incorporated a heart rate monitor for pace control.
The author trained in simple flat-soled shoes.
The author switched to a new diet similar to the Tarahumara diet, which includes pinole and chia seeds.
The author shed 25 pounds, experienced improved mood and energy, and achieved faster, injury-free running.
“Think Easy, Light, Smooth, and Fast. You start with easy because if that’s all you get, that’s not so bad. Then work on light. Make it effortless, like you don’t give a sh*t how high the hill is or how far you’ve got to go. When you’ve practiced that so long that you forget you’re practicing, you work on making it smooooooth. You won’t have to worry about the last one – you get those three, and you’ll be fast.”
By mimicking the Tarahumara people in his training. The author was able to complete the grueling Copper Canyon Ultra Marathon.
Tarahumara runner Arnulfo Quimare won the race, beating Scott Jurek, one of the best professional ultra runners in the world.

Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art

James Nestor

A revelation on the fundamental act of breathing, merging ancient medical knowledge with groundbreaking modern research to reshape your perception of the vital biological function.

3.8 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

You should breathe through your nose. Your nasal passages and sinuses are developed specifically to process air, unlike your mouth.
Breathing through the nose has many benefits. It filters/cleans, heats, and moistens the air you breathe in. It also releases chemicals (nitric oxide) that lower blood pressure, regulate heart rate, and more.
Breathing through your mouth instead of your nose can have drastic negative health effects.
“Mouthbreathing, it turns out, changes the physical body and transforms airways, all for the worse. Inhaling air through the mouth decreases pressure, which causes the soft tissues in the back of the mouth to become loose and flex inward, creating less space and making breathing more difficult. Mouthbreathing begets more mouthbreathing.”
When the author participated in a study in which he breathed through his mouth for ten days, he experienced elevated blood pressure, racing pulse, plummeting temperature, disrupted sleep, cognitive impairment, decreased oxygen levels, and general misery.
An experiment with monkeys found mouth breathing for two years severely deformed their heads and teeth, though normal breathing restored them.
Modern medicine overlooks the vital role of the sinus cavity and the nose, accepting chronic congestion as normal and treating sinus issues superficially rather than addressing core causes.
Removing adenoids and tonsils eliminated ADHD symptoms in 50% of afflicted kids.
The nasal cycle alternates between the right and left nostril, regulating body functions such as temperature, blood pressure, and brain chemicals, while breathing through the mouth bypasses this cycle and its balancing benefits.
About 50% of us breathe mostly through our mouths.
We have devolved in ways that are detrimental to breathing.
Our ancestors' switch to cooked, tenderized foods allowed larger brains but shrank airways. Bigger brains crowded the sinus and pushed out our noses.
Modern processed diets are generally soft and have reduced chewing, which resulted in weakened and smaller facial structures. This is why respiratory issues like snoring and asthma are now more common.
Our need for speech developed a deep larynx that makes us susceptible to choking. Humans are the only mammals that frequently choke to death with food.
Cultures without the modern diet do not commonly suffer from breathing issues.
In the 1830s, researcher George Catlin found over 50 diverse indigenous groups that breathed through their noses, and had excellent health and straight teeth. It inspired Catlin to also breathe through his nose and it cured his respiratory issues. He then wrote a book encouraging people to “shut your mouth.”
“Some cultures ate nothing but meat, while others were mostly vegetarian. Some relied primarily on homemade cheese; others consumed no dairy at all. Their teeth were almost always perfect; their mouths were exceptionally wide, nasal apertures broad. They suffered few, if any, cavities and little dental disease.”
Though untrained medically, choir director Carl Stough helped chronic lung disease patients by conceiving a breathing regimen after realizing the patients were not exhaling properly to fully empty their lungs. He guided the patients to engage the diaphragm muscle more, and it resulted in boosted lung capacity. He went on to apply his methods on Olympic athletes.
Exercising can boost lung capacity.
“The greatest indicator of life span wasn’t genetics, diet, or the amount of daily exercise, as many had suspected. It was lung capacity.”
“For every ten pounds of fat lost in our bodies, eight and a half pounds of it comes out through the lungs; most of it is carbon dioxide mixed with a bit of water vapor. The rest is sweated or urinated out. This is a fact that most doctors, nutritionists, and other medical professionals have historically gotten wrong. The lungs are the weight-regulating system of the body.”
Mouth breathing is meant to be the backup of breathing. It's more energetically taxing, raises heart rate, and causes fatigue. It is similar to anaerobic exercises, which shouldn’t be done for long periods.
Spiritual practices from many faiths use similarly slow breaths of 5.5 seconds during prayer and meditation, providing health benefits by increasing blood flow to the brain and body.
Slow and shallow breathing retains more carbon dioxide, which dilates blood vessels for better circulation, and makes oxygen intake more effective, optimizing body efficiency and energy production, leading to improved brain oxygenation and enhanced overall bodily function.
“This measurement of highest oxygen consumption, called VO2 max, is the best gauge of cardiorespiratory fitness. Training the body to breathe less actually increases VO2 max, which can not only boost athletic stamina but also help us live longer and healthier lives.”
The balance of oxygen and carbon dioxide is more important than the amount of oxygen.
Oxygen bars, where you sit to breathe in concentrated oxygen, have no benefit, since you’ll simply breathe out the excessive oxygen.
Some believe limiting air intake with hypoventilation training to accustom the body to higher levels of CO2 can enhance athletic performance and benefit asthma sufferers. However, this can be harmful to those with already high levels of CO2.
Just five to ten minutes of ideal 5.5 second inhales/exhales can improve your overall health and mood.
Take shallow breaths and engage your diaphragm.
“The perfect breath is this: Breathe in for about 5.5 seconds, then exhale for 5.5 seconds. That’s 5.5 breaths a minute for a total of about 5.5 liters of air.”
Though soft modern diets have shrunk our mouths and obstructed breathing, new orthodontic findings show we can expand oral cavities. Chewing motions stimulate the creation of stem cells for facial bone growth.
The author used a Homeoblock mouthpiece that simulates extra chewing for a few weeks. It widened his airways, realigned his jaw, and spurred two cubic centimeters of facial bone growth.
Breathing affects our autonomic nervous system because our lungs interact with it.
Extreme breathing techniques can produce seemingly superhuman abilities.
Tummo (“inner fire”) is a Tibetan breathing method that keeps Tibetans warm.
Swami Rama is a northern Indian yogi who can drastically slow and increase his heart rate (up to 300 beats per minute) and alter his body temperature and brain waves through breathing and visualization.
Wim Hof, who ran a half-marathon in the Arctic without shoes or a shirt, uses an aggressive breathing routine that involves short bursts of breaths to increase his endurance.
Extreme breathing methods are controversial and not for the casual practitioner.
Stanislav Grof was one of the first people to try LSD. After its ban, Grof developed a breathing technique called Holotropic Breathwork that can induce hallucinations similar to effects of LSD through heavy breathing and decreased blood flow to the brain.
Carbon dioxide therapy increases patients’ CO2 levels to induce temporary panic attacks, then deep calmness follows. This controversial technique can help with anxiety.
Though breathing's power is little-studied in the West, ancient Eastern practices have long understood its importance through concepts like prana/chi -- the "life force" we take in by breathing.

Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds

David Goggins

A gripping and inspirational memoir that will challenge you to push beyond your limits and unlock your full potential.

2.2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

David Goggins was born in 1975 in New York. His childhood was characterized by his father's violent and demanding behavior. From the age of six, David, along with his mother and older brother, worked tirelessly at his father's roller-disco rink almost every night until midnight. David would often fall asleep in school because of his work for his father.
David’s father's brutal behavior made life unbearable. He often viciously beat David and his mother. When David was eight, he and his mother escaped from their tormentor, but their newfound freedom was bittersweet as his older brother decided to stay with their father.
David’s life after escaping his father was marked by poverty and the trauma of his past. His father's refusal to provide financial support left David and his mother living in public housing on meager means.
The toxic stress David experienced from his father's abuse resulted in long-term changes to his brain chemistry, made him lose his hair and skin pigment, caused a nervous stutter, and affected his memory and ability to learn.
Struggling in school, David was labeled as "stupid" and faced ridicule from teachers. To avoid being kicked out of school, he resorted to cheating, but this severely impacted his education, and he was barely literate heading into his teenage years.
He hoped to join the Air Force, but his fear of swimming caused him to quit.
He worked as a pest exterminator and turned to food to cope with his disappointing life, ballooning to almost 300 pounds.
David Goggins was inspired to become a Navy SEAL after watching a documentary about them. However, he was too heavy to join and had less than three months to lose over 100 pounds of weight. Goggins set up a punishing daily fitness regimen, which started at 4:30 am, and through unwavering dedication and determination, he achieved the improbable. He joined the program, underwent grueling training, and eventually became a Navy SEAL.
After achieving his goal of becoming a Navy SEAL, David turned to ultramarathoning. He decided to raise money for the families of fellow Navy SEALS killed in Afghanistan by competing in the Badwater 135, a 135-mile race in Death Valley, known as the toughest foot race on earth.
To qualify, David completed the San Diego One Day (a 100-mile race) in just 19 hours without any special training.
David prepared and trained rigorously for Badwater 135. He finished the race in 30 hours, coming in fifth place.
A few years later, David competed in the Ironman World Championship.
David coined the "40% Rule", which states that most people only give about 40% of their maximum effort before they give up. By pushing through the pain tolerance and letting go of self-limiting beliefs, individuals can access their other 60%, surpass their perceived limits and achieve new levels of performance and excellence in all areas of life.
David recommends winning the morning by getting up early and working towards their goals before their day begins. He follows this routine himself, starting his day at 4 am with a six-to-ten-mile run, biking 25 miles to work, working at his desk job, and then fitting in a gym session or another run during his lunch break.
David uses the “Cookie Jar Method” to overcome difficult situations. It involves envisioning a cookie jar where you collect all the challenges you've conquered and achievements you've accomplished as cookies. In times of hardship, you can refer to your cookie jar to remind yourself of your past resilience. The cookie jar acts as a mental reservoir that can be used to reinforce your ability to overcome whatever difficulties you're currently facing.
David attributes his accomplishments and his transformation from someone who’s despairing and obese to a Navy SEAL and ultramarathoner to a strong work ethic. He believes that there are no quick fixes to success, and by pushing yourself and working hard every day, anyone can achieve their dreams.

Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents

Isabel Wilkerson

A powerful examination of how America's caste system shapes our lives and society, and how we can move beyond it.

3.2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Caste refers to a human-constructed hierarchy that assigns value to different groups. This ranking system is founded on the premise that some groups are inherently superior.
“Caste is insidious and therefore powerful because it is not hatred, it is not necessarily personal. It is the worn grooves of comforting routines and unthinking expectations, patterns of a social order that have been in place for so long that it looks like the natural order of things.”
There are three major caste systems in history -- American, Nazi Germany, and Indian. America and Nazi Germany’s caste systems are similar and bipolar (white vs black, Aryan vs Jewish/minorities). India’s caste system involves many subcastes (Brahmin, Kshatriya, Vaishya, Shudra, and the Dalits/The Untouchables).
America has inherited foundational flaws like inequality and racism since its conception. These systemic issues stem from America's caste system, which confers superiority or subjugation based on caste membership. After centuries in the lowest caste, change for marginalized groups like African-Americans is difficult, as the dominant caste (white Americans) resists losing status.
“Slavery was not merely an unfortunate thing that happened to black people. It was an American innovation, an American institution created by and for the benefit of the elites of the dominant caste and enforced by poorer members of the dominant caste who tied their lot to the caste system rather than to their consciences.”
The longer a problem persists the more difficult it is to fix because the more ingrained it will be.
Caste is different from class. You can transcend class through money or marriage.
In America, the caste system was built on ideas of racial superiority and inferiority. The notion of race emerged as European colonists arbitrarily categorized peoples they encountered by their skin color.
We all originated from African tribes.
The word “Caucasian” was invented in 1795 by Johann Friedrich Blumenbach. He liked to collect and analyze skulls, and his favorite skull was from the Caucasus Mountains, so he named Europeans like himself “Caucasian”.
Slavery in America lasted 246 years, establishing a caste system positioning African-Americans at the bottom.
Groups like Italians and Irish also faced discrimination, relegated to subordinate castes. In the late 1800s, European immigrant groups gained "white" status, but not African-Americans.
African-Americans in America were still kept at the lowest caste through social discrimination and government policies like the Jim Crow laws (US laws in the late 19th and early 20th centuries that enforced racial segregation at public facilities, "Jim Crow" being a pejorative term for an African American).
White people prevented black people from joining communities through tactics like violence, threats, and redlining (refusing financial services based on race or ethnicity).
A caste system has eight foundational pillars:
Divine Will and the Laws of Nature: a religious text encourages a caste system.
Heritability: you belong to the caste of your parents.
Endogamy and the Control of Marriage and Mating: you must marry and reproduce within your caste.
Purity versus Pollution: people of lower caste are treated like contaminants (e.g., black people were banned from public swimming pools).
Occupational Hierarchy: people of lower caste should do the least desirable jobs.
Dehumanization and Stigma: people of lower caste are somehow less human (e.g., people in lowest castes were used as medical guinea pigs).
Terror as Enforcement and Cruelty as Means of Control: unimaginable violence like beatings and hangings were used to keep the lower castes suppressed.
Inherent Superiority versus Inherent Inferiority: interactions between castes are ruled by traditions that remind inferior castes of their lower status.
In the late 1900s, upward mobility for lower castes was seen as upending centuries of social order. Dominant castes felt threatened as subordinate castes gained rights. They wrongly believed in a zero-sum game in which the status gained by the lower caste must be from the upper caste losing their status. The upper caste even started to experience more stress-related illnesses out of fear of losing status.
The number of American hate groups doubled during Obama’s first term.
Black people are five times more likely to be killed by police than white people.
Caste systems breed group narcissism -- elevated self-worth through group identity, overestimating one's position and hating those different. This hurts everyone, and transferring narcissism to a race or nation can provide euphoric feelings of supremacy that leads to facism, as seen in Nazi Germany.
Nazis modeled segregation and punishment laws after America's.
“The Nazis were impressed by the American custom of lynching its subordinate caste of African-Americans, having become aware of the ritual torture and mutilations that typically accompanied them. Hitler especially marveled at the American ‘knack for maintaining an air of robust innocence in the wake of mass death.’”
Germany now has memorials of Nazi victims while America is still meeting resistance removing memorials of advocates of slavery.
The pandemic highlighted ongoing caste issues, with dominant castes having job-provided healthcare while subordinate castes worked essential jobs without it, facing disproportionate risk.
A plumber arrived at the black author's house wearing a hat hinting at his politics. He assumed the author did not own the house, rudely asked for "the lady of the house", and seemed ready to barely work. But in sharing about her late mother, and him opening up about his father, they quickly began to relate to each other and tore down prejudices. The plumber then diligently fixed the issue.
To combat casteism, we need to practice radical empathy by actively listening and learning from people of different backgrounds to truly understand their perspectives.
“The price of privilege is the moral duty to act when one sees another person treated unfairly. And the least that a person in the dominant caste can do is not make the pain any worse.”
Dismantling a centuries-old caste system is challenging, but increasing awareness, elevating marginalized voices, and emphasizing shared humanity can slowly dismantle entrenched caste.

The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism

Olivia Fox Cabane

A bestselling self-help book that offers practical tools and insights to develop and master the skills of charisma.

3.2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Charisma can lead to success in all aspects of life. Charismatic individuals have a significant impact on others through their charm, persuasion, and impressiveness, which results in them being more attractive, earning more money, and experiencing less stress.
The advantages of charisma extend beyond the business world, with studies showing that charismatic individuals excel in academia and their personal lives as well.
Charisma is not an inherent trait but rather a skill that can be learned and mastered through intentional practice.
Nobody can be charismatic all the time. People fluctuate between being charismatic and not.
We believe in the charisma myth -- that it’s a trait that people are born with -- because we only see the effect of charisma but not the effort put into developing it.
Steve Jobs was initially an awkward presenter, but through practice, he eventually became one of the most captivating salespersons in the world.
Charisma is primarily conveyed through body language, which is a reflection of our mental state. While we cannot consciously control every aspect of our body language, we can indirectly influence it by controlling our subconscious mind.
By visualizing a charismatic internal state (i.e., imagining, with as much detail as possible, that we’re performing a task successfully), our body language will naturally express charisma since our brain processes imagination and reality similarly.
This is comparable to the placebo effect, where a pretend medical procedure can have a positive effect.
Visualization is a technique commonly used by ultra-successful professionals (e.g., star athletes).
To reduce anxiety, visualize and list multiple possible outcomes of a situation, including success and failure.
Charisma is a combination of three key elements: presence, power, and warmth.
Presence means being fully engaged in the conversation, making eye contact, and listening actively to what others have to say.
Presence is difficult to achieve. We’ve evolved to be distracted by all of our senses for survival purposes. Research has shown that the only activity in which we typically pay full attention to is sex.
Presence makes you stand out and generates trust, rapport, and loyalty. If you can manage to be present, people will feel special around you, and you can establish an emotional connection with them in just a few minutes.
Power refers to your ability to influence or control others, whether through your position, your expertise, or your personal qualities.
Warmth refers to your ability to connect with others emotionally, showing empathy, kindness, and understanding. Warmth makes people feel comfortable and accepted, which is crucial for building relationships.
Power and warmth are important for charisma because we like people who are able and willing to help us. Power without warmth might appear impressive but not charismatic, while warmth without power could seem overeager and subservient.
A woman dined with two candidates in Great Britain’s 1868 election, Gladstone and Disraeli. Afterwards she said, "After dining with Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest person in England. But after dining with Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest person in England." Her statement suggests Gladstone displayed power but lacked warmth, while Disraeli had both. Disraeli won the election.
There are four charisma styles, which one you choose should depend on your personality and goals, and also the situation.
Focus Charisma: This type of charisma is based on the ability to be fully present in the moment and make others feel like they are the only person in the room (e.g., Bill Clinton).
Visionary Charisma: This type of charisma is characterized by the ability to inspire others with a compelling vision for the future, and to communicate that vision in a way that resonates with others (e.g., Steve Jobs).
Authority Charisma: This type of charisma is based on the perception of the individual as being knowledgeable and experienced in a particular field, and therefore trustworthy and respected (e.g., Michael Jordan).
Kindness Charisma: This type of charisma is characterized by the ability to show genuine care and concern for others, and to make them feel valued and appreciated. It is often seen in leaders who are able to create a supportive and inclusive environment (e.g., the Dalai Lama).
Making a good first impression is crucial for being seen as charismatic. People tend to reaffirm first impressions rather than revise them.
To make a great first impression, it's essential to make others feel like you're similar to them. This includes dressing appropriately, using similar language and gestures, and focusing on positive topics.
The handshake is an important aspect of creating intimacy and trust.
Charisma requires avoiding or overcoming discomfort. Discomfort can be physical (e.g., dressing too warm) or mental (e.g., anxiety, self-criticism). Discomfort leads to visible body language that can undermine your charisma.
To tackle discomfort, you can prevent it by planning ahead, recognize it by being fully aware of your body language, and remedy or explain it by addressing the problem in a straightforward manner.
Negative emotions hurt our ability to exude charisma. We can alleviate the problem through de-dramatizing.
De-dramatizing involves reducing the impact of negative emotions (e.g., shame) by acknowledging that they aren’t too serious.
You can remind yourself that you're not alone in experiencing them.
You can imagine yourself as just a physical being with certain chemicals in your system.
It is essential to destigmatize and neutralize negative thoughts and emotions by realizing that they are a part of daily life and do not reflect reality.
When we respond to people’s actions, we need to consider that their actions reflect them, not us. For example, if someone looks unhappy, don’t automatically assume they’re mad at you, they could be too warm, too cold, sick, etc.
Our minds perceive only the information most relevant to us, we rarely have the full picture.

The Communist Manifesto

Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels

One of the world's most influential political documents.

2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

"A spectre is haunting Europe -- the spectre of communism." Politicians are labeling communists as enemies. It is a critical time for communists to speak up.
The control of the economy directly influences the power dynamics within a society. The wealthy have the power and the poor are subjugated. This is why you never see poor people with political power.
Changes in mode of production (how essentials like food and shelter are produced) trigger shifts in society.
In the past, hunter-gatherer societies had minimal class distinctions since individuals could only provide for their immediate communities.
The introduction of farming revolutionized food production, leading to an abundance that could be sold. Consequently, a hierarchy formed between those who controlled the food supply and those who had to work for them, establishing the first class system where economic power equated to political power.
Throughout history, societies have developed intricate hierarchies based on conflicting classes. The division between these classes stems from their varying control over the modes of production. The dominant class exploits its position to subjugate others and wield authority over society's wealth.
Roman slaves were denied property ownership to ensure their oppression.
Feudal serfs were bound to their land, indebted to wealthy landowners who effectively owned them and compelled them to work.
The class struggle, the struggle between oppressor and oppressed classes, is key to shaping history.
In feudalism, the royalty and church owned the land, which was the main means of production. However, the advent of industrialization in the 18th century provided factory work as an alternative form of labor, and feudalism began to disappear.
The shift to industrialization did not reduce oppression or change the hierarchy. Workers sold their labor for wages that did not match the value they produced. The surplus capital accrued went to the bourgeoisie (those who own the industrial means of production), bolstering their power.
The pursuit of more capital leads to exploitation and global expansion, making capitalism the prevailing economic system today.
The proletariat (the working class) do not work for themselves, but for factory owners who pay them only enough to survive, solely to ensure their continued productivity and the growth of the factories. The vast majority of rewards from their work goes to the bourgeoisie.
Workers have become utilitarian commodities, their lives tied to finding work, and their value diminishes once their labor no longer contributes to the bourgeoisie's wealth accumulation.
As the division of labor intensifies, proletariat work becomes more replaceable and monotonous. The proletariat are now disconnected from their individuality and reduced to mere cogs in the capitalist machine.
Workers are now showing more unity and challenging the bourgeoisie. The bourgeoisie’s exploitations will result in their own demise.
Communists aim to unite workers globally to topple the bourgeoisie. The abolition of private property is a key component of this plan, as it serves as the foundation of bourgeois dominance over the proletariat.
Capital and profits should not only be held by the people at the top, they are products of the entire society and should be collectively shared.
There are demands that must be met to achieve progress, including a progressive income tax; abolition of inheritances, private property, and child labour; free public education; nationalisation of credit and the means of transport and communication; removal of regional borders; and expansion of publicly owned and unused land for agriculture.
Communism is different from other forms of socialist doctrine in that the others advocate reformism (reforming an existing institution instead of its abolition and replacement) instead of a revolution by the working class.

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High

Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler

Learn how to speak persuasively, disagree respectfully, and influence outcomes when emotions run high and opinions differ.

3 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Crucial conversation is defined as “A discussion between two or more people where (1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong.”
“Twenty years of research involving more than 100,000 people reveals that the key skill of effective leaders, teammates, parents, and loved ones is the capacity to skillfully address emotionally and politically risky issues.”
Our success in life depends on the quality of our relationships, which is dictated by our ability to have deep, honest conversations that build bonds and transform situations. People who regularly have these kinds of clarifying conversations early on tend to maintain higher standards and prevent unwanted behavior.
Crucial conversations often catch us off-guard emotionally, triggering our fight-or-flight response which impairs rational thinking and makes it difficult to have a constructive discussion.
Research shows those who are able to manage tense conversations tend to be more successful and have better personal relationships.
Couples tend to argue in three different ways:
React emotionally
Fume silently
Talk openly and honestly (those who do this are more likely to stay together)
Couples who do not have effective crucial conversations have weaker immune systems than those who do.
Start with the heart:
To have an effective, transformative conversation, we must first manage our own emotions and mindset, starting from a place of positivity, good intent, and openness rather than anger or judgment.
Understand the other's differing perspectives, maintain mutual respect by focusing on similarities rather than differences, and remain authentic so the truth can emerge.
Creating conditions where people feel psychologically safe to offer ideas without repercussion is thus key to producing the best outcomes from high-stakes dialogues.
Sharing information freely in crucial conversations leads to better solutions because it ensures all perspectives are considered, prevents mistakes due to lack of information, and makes people more likely to commit to the final decision even if they initially disagree.
We often avoid sharing controversial ideas in tense conversations because we fear hurting others or facing disapproval. One surgeon amputated the wrong leg because his subordinates were afraid to challenge him.
“Respect is like air. As long as it's present, nobody thinks about it. But if you take it away, it's all that people can think about. The instant people perceive disrespect in a conversation, the interaction is no longer about the original purpose -- it is now about defending dignity.”
To prevent emotional hijacking in crucial conversations with opposing views:
Pause and clarify your goals and desired outcomes. Ask yourself what you want to achieve and what you want to avoid.
Name your emotions (e.g., anger, disappointment, shame, etc.) and know that we make ourselves feel emotions, not others. For example, no one makes you angry except for you.
Find a middle path between silence and bluntness by asking "How can I raise this honestly without causing offense?" This requires confidence to speak up, humility in our approach, and communication skills to sustain dialogue.
Share the facts, tell your side of the story, and ask for theirs.
If you can, identifying your desired outcomes ahead of time allows you to consciously steer the conversation in a productive direction rather than reacting reflexively.
Use the AMPP method to show that you’re listening respectfully, so that others are more likely to listen to you.
A: Ask questions (e.g., “I’d like your perspective on…”)
M: Mirror to confirm feelings (e.g., “You seem hesitant…”)
P: Paraphrase using their language to confirm their meaning (e.g., “So are you saying that…”)
P: Prime when you sense that they are withdrawing (e.g., “Are you thinking that…”)
“One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears -- by listening to them.” - Dean Rusk
Apologize and admit it when you do something wrong.
To keep crucial conversations productive, people need to feel respected and that there is a mutual purpose, otherwise they become defensive and interactions break down.
Commit to finding a mutual purpose even when there might not be an immediately obvious one.
If you need to provide criticism, you can make people feel respected by contrasting criticism with praise and emphasizing shared goals.
Our initial emotional reactions in crucial conversations often stem from inaccurate interpretations of the facts, so it's important to separate your feelings from the objective reality before assigning meaning.
A hotel bill is a fact. The man had an affair is an interpretation. A frown is a fact. “She’s angry at me” is an interpretation.
Ask clarifying questions to determine what is truly happening before deciding how to feel and respond.
When disagreeing, don’t assume they’re wrong. They are just interpreting the facts differently. Present your side with “I think I see things differently…”
“Nothing in this world is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” - Shakespeare
Avoid unhelpful narratives when interpreting facts.
Victim narrative: It’s not my fault.
Villain narrative: It’s all your fault.
Helpless: There’s nothing else I can do.
In disagreements, seek to comprehend rather than argue, which prevents defensive reactions that derail productive dialogue.
To implement the outcomes of a crucial conversation:
Determine the appropriate decision-making method (democratic vote, consensus, or delegated authority).
Ensure clear assignments of responsibility for each aspect of executing the decision, specifying who does what by when, otherwise people may work towards different or incorrect goals. Vague instructions can lead to disastrous outcomes.
“Goals without deadlines aren’t goals; they’re merely directions.”

Daring Greatly

Brené Brown

“How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead”

2.7 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

As social beings, we are evolved and wired to seek the companionship of others, as it has always been crucial for our survival.
Neuroscience has revealed that social disconnection induces brain chemistry changes that cause real pain.
Shame arises from our concern with what others think of us and our fear of social disconnection. Shame is a normal human experience based on the fundamental human need for connection, love, and belonging, but it is harmful.
Shame involves the belief that we are unworthy of the love, connection, and belonging that we need to thrive. This feeling prevents us from fully engaging with the world, undermines our willingness to take risks, and inhibits self-improvement.
There is a difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is a behavior-focused emotion, where a person acknowledges they have done something wrong (“I did something bad”). Shame is a self-focused emotion, where a person believes they are inherently bad or flawed (“I am bad”).
Focusing on guilt can be productive and lead to growth. Focusing on shame is counterproductive.
Shame has become ingrained in our current culture.
In a world dominated by social media, people constantly showcase their best packaged lives to the public, leading to envy and a sense of scarcity. This "never-enough" culture fuels a pervasive fear of unworthiness and inadequacy.
We end up comparing ourselves to unattainable standards, reinforcing our shame and disconnecting us from others. Consequently, we stop striving for personal growth, convinced that we can never measure up.
Vulnerability is the ability to experience and express emotions.
Vulnerability is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Embracing vulnerability means accepting uncertainty, taking risks, and exposing oneself emotionally. It betters our personal and professional lives.
It helps us to overcome the fear of failure to take action.
It fosters connections with others, as it’s an authentic form of openness and honesty.
Professionally, embracing vulnerability involves subjecting our work and ideas to criticism, allowing for growth.
Acknowledging vulnerability is crucial in order to navigate its effects.
Research has shown that individuals who believed they were invulnerable to advertising were actually more susceptible to its influence.
Shame is a defense against vulnerability. We need to remove shame to receive the benefits of vulnerability.
Shame is difficult to share with others, and it gains its power over us through secrecy and our internalization of it. To overcome shame, we must talk about and name our feelings of shame, as verbalizing them diminishes their power.
By reaching out and vocalizing our shame, others can understand our emotions and fears, leading to empathetic responses that replace shame with a sense of understanding and connection.
Cultivating self-compassion, setting boundaries, and embracing imperfections will help to make us resilient to shame.
We use behaviors such as chasing perfection, always wanting more, fearing joy, and numbing ourselves with addictions as attempts to eradicate our vulnerability. However, vulnerability cannot be removed, only hidden and suppressed.
Shame is highly correlated with addiction, depression, eating disorders, violence, bullying, and aggression.
Being satisfied with ourselves and our lives enables us to embrace vulnerability authentically, leading to a deeper understanding of ourselves and genuine connections with others. This is called wholehearted living.
By accepting that we are already enough and letting go of the pursuit of perfection, we can open ourselves to criticism and failure without it defining our worth.
By embracing moments of joy instead of fearing their eventual downfall, we recognize our own deservingness of happiness.
A culture of shame in workplaces and schools is counterproductive and has detrimental effects on productivity and creativity. When individuals are subjected to public shaming or blame, they become disengaged and emotionally disconnected from their environment, leading to decreased motivation and potential resignation.
By instilling vulnerability and promoting openness, authenticity, and support, organizations can create a conducive environment for individuals to express themselves, collaborate, and contribute to their full potential.
Leaders in society have the power and responsibility to foster a culture of vulnerability to create positive change. Our schools, workplaces, and society can be more humane, encouraging, and effective when we aim to embrace vulnerability.
Parents have the important role of creating a nurturing and accepting home environment for their children. Childhood experiences of shame are traumatic and can have lasting impacts.
Parents must teach their children shame resilience by being actively involved and engaged in their lives while also providing unconditional love and a sense of belonging.
Children will only adopt traits from their parents the parents actually have. Thus, parents need to be role models and demonstrate the values of worthiness and vulnerability they want their children to adopt.
By fostering principles of worthiness, parents can raise children who have a deep-rooted sense of self-worth, which contributes to creating a positive and fulfilling life for both parents and their children, extending to their relationships with friends, family, and colleagues.

Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World

Cal Newport

A self-help book that offers practical strategies for cultivating focus and achieving peak performance in today's distraction-filled world.

1.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Deep work is the ability to completely focus on a cognitively demanding task. It is intentional and requires preparation to overcome distractions, and it is different from being "in the zone," which often happens by chance.
Deep work is a superpower in the competitive 21st century. It is not only essential for productivity, but also for personal satisfaction and fulfillment.
Strategies to achieve deep work:
The monastic approach: eliminate distractions by secluding oneself.
The bimodal approach: set a defined period for work and free time.
The rhythmic approach: form a habit of working for 90-minute (or another length of your choosing) blocks.
The Journalistic approach: use all unexpected free time for deep work.
Define your space: specify a designated place to work (J.K. Rowling worked in a hotel to help her focus).
Define boundaries: set periods of time during which you won’t respond to messages.
Sustain your body: have a good diet and exercise habits.
Embrace boredom: avoid distractions during downtime. The ability to focus on nothing can be a valuable skill, as it allows your mind to recharge and come up with new ideas.
Drain the shallows: reduce or outsource shallow, unimportant tasks. Completing small tasks may make us feel productive, but it prevents us from truly focusing.
Intense focus on a specific skill builds up myelin around relevant neurons, making the corresponding circuit fire more effectively, leading to better performance.
Multitasking harms productivity. People often believe that doing multiple tasks simultaneously is the best way to use time effectively, but research shows otherwise.
A 2009 University of Minnesota study found that switching between tasks causes us to lose focus on the second task and affects performance negatively.
A study by McKinsey revealed that the average worker spends most of their time on online communication and internet surfing, leaving only a small amount of time for important tasks.
Avoid being distracted by notifications. They hurt your focus even if you’re not directly addressing them.
Our brains are wired to easily get distracted for evolutionary purposes (movement = food or threat). However, productive meditation (using unproductive moments, e.g., waiting in line, to intensely think about a specific problem) can help rewire the brain and improve focus.
It's important to be mindful of our intentions when using technology and social media, and to use them selectively. To determine if social media is worth the time and distraction, try quitting for 30 days and evaluate if life was better without it.
Plan activities for your free time with activities that do not involve digital devices, such as reading, exercise, or quality time with loved ones. This helps to revitalize the mind and body.
To avoid feeling exhausted and unproductive, it is important to schedule everything (work and personal time) into blocks of at least 30 minutes. It’s okay to rearrange the blocks as necessary, because the point is not to follow the schedule rigorously, but to be intentional with our time.

Drink?: The New Science of Alcohol and Your Health

David J. Nutt

The definitive guide to alcohol and health.

4.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Alcohol does the following to your brain:
Activates the brain's gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA, neurotransmitter that helps to turn off the brain), inducing relaxation and reduced anxiety.
Blocks glutamate (neurotransmitter that helps to turn on the brain) receptors, impairing coordination and memory.
Increases serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins, altering mood, sociability, motivation, and pleasure.
Excessive drinking impairs judgment and self-control through its effects on the frontal cortex.
As drunkenness progresses, blackouts and eventually anesthesia or even death can result from the combined GABA stimulation and glutamate blocking.
Alcohol's effects depend on setting and expectations. Preloading before clubbing feels different than a glass of sherry at Christmas.
Timing matters. Alcohol is more likely to cause sleepiness when already tired.
Your tolerance to alcohol builds fast but this is dangerous. It can lead to increased consumption, and losing tolerance after abstinence can lead to poisoning if you drink similar amounts as before abstinence.
Differences in alcohol’s effects explained by:
Tolerance - drinking history
Sex - women absorb more alcohol
Food - delays alcohol uptake from the stomach
Genetics - alcohol metabolism
Hangovers is a form of alcohol withdrawal. They result in various physiological and psychological symptoms.
Hangovers vary in duration and complexity, with over 47 potential symptoms, including sleep disturbance, dehydration, and emotional distress.
Congeners in alcoholic drinks, especially in aged beverages, can worsen hangovers.
Hangovers can serve as a natural deterrent against excessive drinking, potentially preventing alcoholism.
Hangover symptoms are influenced by neurotransmitter imbalances, inflammatory responses, and mitochondrial dysfunction caused by alcohol consumption.
Alcohol metabolism produces acetaldehyde (a poison and carcinogen), causing symptoms like flushing, racing heart beat, and nausea.
70% of East Asians have a variant of the gene aldehyde dehydrogenase (ALDH) that slows down the breakdown of acetaldehyde, causing the “Asian glow/flush”.
Hangover prevention strategies include drinking less, pacing yourself, hydrating with water, and choosing clear spirits with fewer congeners.
Try treating hangovers with ibuprofen, eggs and food high in carbs, and caffeine.
Alcohol consumption, even in low amounts, raises health risks, leading to premature death from various disorders.
Risk factors include drinking frequency, quantity, general health, age, sex, genetic inheritance, drinking patterns, age of onset, and family history of alcoholism.
Alcohol can severely impact the liver, leading to fatty liver, alcoholic hepatitis, cirrhosis, and liver cancer, often causing fatal outcomes.
Alcohol-induced liver damage can lead to conditions such as hepatic encephalopathy and varices, potentially leading to fatal bleeding.
Alcohol is a significant risk factor for several cancers, including breast, colorectal, esophageal, pharyngeal, laryngeal, lip, and oral cavity.
Alcohol damages cardiovascular health, causing conditions such as cardiomyopathy, arrhythmia, and hypertension.
Alcohol consumption can increase the risk of brain damage, dementia, and conditions like Korsakoff's syndrome and Wernicke's encephalopathy.
Alcohol can contribute to pancreatitis, leading to insulin-dependent diabetes, and can also affect the absorption of nutrients in the small intestine.
Alcohol can cause gastric reflux and leaky gut, leading to potential complications and impairments in the gut's protective functions.
Recent research shows that no level of drinking is beneficial to health.
The French Paradox refers to the contrast between the French population's low heart disease rates despite high saturated fat and alcohol consumption. Initially attributed to red wine's cardiovascular-protection properties, the paradox is now more explained with the Mediterranean diet and other factors such as sun exposure (more Vitamin D), relaxed eating habits, and consistent moderate drinking.
Each seven units of alcohol reduces life expectancy by 30 minutes (assuming a 30 year old man).
Alcohol impairs judgment, coordination, and reaction times, contributing to a significant number of accidents and deaths.
There are 250 fatalities annually from drink-driving in the UK.
The legal blood alcohol limit for driving doesn't signify safety. Any alcohol consumption increases accident risks, with 80mg% (UK legal limit) leading to at least three times the likelihood of a road accident.
Studies show that people overestimate their driving capacity. Even one pint compromises safety. A zero-tolerance approach for alcohol and driving is recommended.
Scotland reduced the limit to 50mg%, resulting in fewer accidents.
Measures such as in-car breathalyzers and education on the dangers of combined alcohol and sedative drug use could further curb drink-driving accidents.
Alcohol contributes to violent behavior, with a global report in 2016 linking 90,000 annual deaths to alcohol-related violence. In the UK, nearly 500,000 incidents of violent crime in 2016-2017 were attributed to alcohol use.
Alcohol use is associated with mental health problems like anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD, OCD, bulimia, self-harm, bipolar disorder, and paranoia/psychosis.
Alcohol increases stress hormones like cortisol and alters sex hormones like prolactin, leading to feminization in men (they grow breasts and lose facial hair).
Alcohol consumption can reduce fertility in both men and women, affecting sperm and ovulation.
Drinking during pregnancy increases risks of stillbirth, fetal alcohol spectrum disorders, and developmental issues.
Menopausal symptoms can worsen with alcohol consumption, inducing hot flashes and impacting mental health.
Alcohol has subtle effects on various aspects of health and wellness, affecting work performance, skin, fitness, and sleep.
Alcohol consumption can lead to skin dehydration, puffiness, spider veins, and rosacea, accelerating the aging process.
Alcohol's impact on nutrition includes added calories, potential weight gain, and a lack of essential nutrients, contributing to various health issues.
Alcohol consumption can worsen snoring and lead to sleep apnea, causing issues like hypoxia, daytime sleepiness, and other health problems.
Certain sleep disorders like sleep paralysis and night terrors can be exacerbated by alcohol, leading to increased episodes.
Some studies suggest that alcohol might temporarily enhance creativity and confidence.
Alcohol is a powerful and addictive drug prevalent in daily life and alcoholism is common.
Vulnerability to addiction varies, influenced by genetics.
Anxiety and pleasure seeking can drive alcohol addiction.
You might be an alcoholic if you regularly have more than six units (each unit is 10 mL of ethanol, a glass of wine has about 3 units) in one sitting.
Treatment for alcoholism can include detoxing, seeing a specialist, medications, and group or individual therapy.
An alcoholic’s triggering factors include divorce, university life, job stress, retirement, and moving.
Strategies for helping a loved one include conversations, monitoring, seeking medical help, and finding support groups.
Alcohol is considered the primary social drug.
Its benefits include relaxation, bonding, expanded creativity, and social interaction.
Its effects resemble those of cocaine and ecstasy.
Alcohol may have played a crucial role in the transition from nomadic to agrarian societies.
Excessive alcohol consumption can lead to risky behavior and negative consequences.
Alcohol does not significantly alter personality traits. It primarily enhances extroversion.
Maximizing alcohol benefits while minimizing harm is crucial.
Understand your drinking patterns and motivations to find suitable drinking strategies.
Identify your drinking type: social, conformity, enhancement, or coping.
Evaluate personal health conditions to determine if cutting down or quitting is best.
Recognize the vulnerable phases of alcohol consumption in life.
Keeping a drink diary aids in understanding and managing alcohol consumption.
Taking a month off alcohol, known as Dry January, has shown real-life success in reducing drinking habits. Regardless of the chosen month, positive changes were observed. Other benefits included improved understanding of alcohol temptations, the realization that fun doesn't require alcohol, better sleep, increased energy, a sense of achievement, weight loss, and saved money.
In the UK, most teens start drinking around 14-15.
The UK's Chief Medical Officer advises no drinking before 15, then at most once a week until 17 due to alcohol's impact on development.
44% of 15-19-year-olds in Europe drink.
Parents with alcohol issues should discourage their child's drinking.
Discussions on alcohol dangers should include health impacts, alcohol poisoning, accidents, and social risks.
Understanding consent is crucial to prevent sexual assault while under the influence.
Society needs to address the alcogenic (drink culture) environment by regulating alcohol availability and advertising.
Government and the alcohol industry hinders effective policies by prioritizing profit over public health.
Pricing measures can curb excessive drinking.
Minimum unit pricing (each unit of alcohol must cost at least a certain amount) is recommended.
Taxation should reflect alcohol content.
There's a link between GDP and alcohol consumption in developing countries, where increased income often leads to greater alcohol consumption.

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

Daniel H. Pink

A challenge to traditional notions of motivation through extrinsic rewards, instead arguing for the importance of intrinsic motivation.

2.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

In 1949, psychologist Harry Harlow conducted an experiment where monkeys solved puzzles without any external rewards, surprising him. This hinted at a third type of motivation -- intrinsic motivation. The discovery of intrinsic motivation represents an evolution in understanding what motivates human behavior.
The three types of motivations are:
Biological drive to survive
External/extrinsic incentives (rewards and punishments)
Intrinsic motivation
Extrinsic motivation cannot inspire curiosity and innovation. People only driven by rewards and punishments will typically put in the minimal effort required to get the reward or avoid the punishment.
“The problem with making an extrinsic reward the only destination that matters is that some people will choose the quickest route there, even if it means taking the low road. Indeed, most of the scandals and misbehavior that have seemed endemic to modern life involve shortcuts.”
Appealing to intrinsic motivation can unleash people's full potential for creative and challenging work.
“The science shows that the secret to high performance isn’t our biological drive or our reward-and-punishment drive, but our third drive -- our deep-seated desire to direct our own lives, to extend and expand our abilities, and to make a contribution.”
Intrinsically motivated people take responsibility and don't need constant direction or rewards because they enjoy the work itself and become immersed in activities they find inherently interesting or meaningful.
“For artists, scientists, inventors, schoolchildren, and the rest of us, intrinsic motivation -- the drive to do something because it is interesting, challenging, and absorbing -- is essential for high levels of creativity.”
Despite recognizing the power of intrinsic motivation, the workplace often neglects it in favor of monetary incentives.
In 1995, people would have thought choosing the crowdsourced, unpaid Wikipedia over Microsoft's professionally written, big budgeted, Encarta encyclopedia was insane, yet Wikipedia became massively successful with millions of articles written by volunteers purely for the enjoyment of the work itself, while Encarta became discontinued.
Children exemplify true masters of intrinsic motivation through their natural curiosity and drive to learn and explore without external rewards. However, as we grow up, society conditions us to require extrinsic motivations like praise, grades, and paychecks, gradually eroding our intrinsic motivation.
Extrinsic motivation undermines performance on creative, non-routine tasks. The overemphasis on extrinsic motivation can backfire.
In one experiment participants were asked to solve a creative problem of attaching a candle on the wall so the wax doesn’t drip on the table. One group was incentivized with money (faster = more money), the other group was not. On average, the solves took the incentivized group nearly three and a half minutes longer.
In an experiment with potential blood donors, offering a small monetary payment actually decreased the number of donors by almost half compared to a voluntary, unpaid group.
“People use rewards expecting to gain the benefit of increasing another person’s motivation and behavior, but in so doing, they often incur the unintentional and hidden cost of undermining that person’s intrinsic motivation toward the activity.”
“Rewards do not undermine people’s intrinsic motivation for dull tasks because there is little or no intrinsic motivation to be undermined.”
To unleash true motivation and engagement, organizations need to provide an environment fostering mastery, autonomy, and purpose.
Mastery: Allow people the freedom to pursue continual self-improvement in their work.
Providing opportunities for mastery, rather than simply adherence to rules, can unleash people's inner drive, creativity and commitment to their work.
Employees can enter a state of flow -- complete immersion and focus -- when tackling appropriately challenging tasks that allow them to enhance their skills and strive for perfection.
“People can have two different mindsets… Those with a ‘fixed mindset’ believe that their talents and abilities are carved in stone. Those with a ‘growth mindset’ believe that their talents and abilities can be developed. Fixed mindsets see every encounter as a test of their worthiness. Growth mindsets see the same encounters as opportunities to improve.”
Research shows more than 50% of employees are not engaged at work and nearly 20% are actively disengaged.
Autonomy: Allow people to make their own decisions about how they work.
Meddius doesn’t have office hours. Employees just need to get their work done. As a result, employees worried less about logistics related to scheduling and were less likely to jump to another job.
Google allowed employees 20% of their time to work on whatever they wanted. This resulted in products like Gmail, Orkut, and Google Translate.
Providing autonomy cultivates self-determination, engagement, and greater achievement potential while reducing burnout.
“The ultimate freedom for creative groups is the freedom to experiment with new ideas. Some skeptics insist that innovation is expensive. In the long run, innovation is cheap. Mediocrity is expensive -- and autonomy can be the antidote.”
“Management isn’t about walking around and seeing if people are in their offices. It’s about creating conditions for people to do their best work.”
Purpose: Make the work meaningful.
Studies show people who pursue meaningful goals like personal growth and helping others report greater life satisfaction than those solely chasing money or fame.
Studies show that allowing employees to positively impact society, whether through charitable work, community outreach, or providing valuable services and products, can improve employee welfare and satisfaction.
“Being a professional is doing the things you love to do, on the days you don’t feel like doing them.” - Julius Erving

Eat to Beat Disease: The New Science of How Your Body Can Heal Itself

William W. Li

Discover the science-backed ways of using your diet to prevent and fight against diseases.

1.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Cancers occur all the time inside our bodies. It is inevitable for cells to divide incorrectly and create microscopic tumors.
However, our bodies have a defense system called angiogenesis to negate the damage of these cancers.
Angiogenesis controls the growth of blood vessels and prevents blood vessels from delivering nutrients to cancers.
Soy foods strengthen angiogenesis. Studies found daily consumption of 10 grams or more of soy protein improves cancer-fighting functions.
Broccoli contains brassinin and sulforaphanes, substances that bolster angiogenesis. A Harvard research showed that broccoli consumption is associated with a 33% lower risk of ovarian cancer, a 59% lower risk of prostate cancer, and a 28% lower risk of melanoma.
Stem cells are key to our bodies' regenerative functions, and thus crucial for healing from injuries and diseases.
Stem cells also protect our cardiovascular health by repairing damaged blood vessels from heart attacks.
Cocoa is good for stem cells. It contains flavanols, a substance which improves stem cell circulation. In one study, people who drank cocoa with flavanols twice a day doubled their stem cell count in their bloodstreams.
Good bacteria in our bodies improves mood and prevents diabetes.
Pomegranate and cranberry improve immune system, lower gut inflammation, and fight obesity.
Sauerkraut stimulates stem cell growth in the intestines, which decreases gut inflammation.
Parmigiano Reggiano has bacteria that protects against cancer, gastroenteritis, and postnatal depression.
White button mushrooms are good for our immune systems. One study found by adding 100 grams of white button mushrooms to people's daily diet for a week increased the antibodies in their saliva by 55%.
Extra virgin olive oil contains substances that enhance our immune systems. One study found replacing the fat in people's diet with extra virgin olive oil for three months resulted in 53% increase in important markers of immune system health.
Our DNA gets damaged as we age, but telomeres, the ends of DNA that protect the DNA, slow down the damage -- similar to how the plastic caps at the ends of shoelaces stop fraying.
Studies found that berries and nuts strengthen and lengthen telomeres, and thus prolong healthy DNA.
Beer contains xanthohumol, which has anti-cancer properties and stunts fat cell growth.
Eating spicy foods can improve your health. One large-scale study found daily spicy food consumption was associated with a 14% lower risk of dying from any disease, including stroke, heart disease and cancer.
Small amounts of cheese in the diet is associated with lower risk of heart attacks. Furthermore, consuming small amounts of hard cheeses like Emmental, Gouda and Edam reduces risk of prostate cancer and lung cancer due to their high levels of vitamin K2.
Studies found that daily consumption of seafood reduced likelihood of breast cancer and bowel cancer.

Educated: A Memoir

Tara Westover

A powerful and inspiring memoir of a young woman's journey from a strict and isolated childhood to a world of knowledge and self-discovery.

3.7 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Educated is a memoir by Tara Westover about her journey from growing up in a strict, isolated, and abusive household in rural Idaho to becoming a scholar at Cambridge University.
Tara grew up in rural Idaho mountains without formal education or medical care.
Despite being raised in an isolated household, Tara learned valuable skills such as bottling peaches, and enjoyed playing in nature.
Her father, Gene, was deeply religious and anti-government, while her mother, Faye, was a traditional Mormon woman who worked as an unlicensed midwife.
Tara's grandmother offered to take her to school, but Tara ultimately chose to stay with her family.
Tara and her siblings were not properly homeschooled and were left to educate themselves with limited access to learning resources.
Tara's brother Tyler's decision to attend college sparked her curiosity about higher education, and she began to study religion and other subjects in her spare time.
Despite her father's opposition to education, the idea of going to school lingered in Tara's mind.
At the age of eleven, most of Tara's siblings had left home and Gene shifted the family business from farming to the junkyard.
Tara started her own babysitting business to earn money and gain exposure to the outside world by taking dance and voice lessons.
However, Gene forbade her from dancing, claiming it was immodest, but allowed her to take voice lessons.
Tara's talent in singing led to her being given a part in a play staged at the local Worm Creek Opera House.
Gene believed that the world was on the verge of the Days of Abomination, so he stockpiled food and weapons in an emergency bunker he had dug out in the field. But despite all his fears, nothing happened when January 1, 2000 arrived.
After the failed Y2K prophecy, Tara's family went to visit their grandmother in Arizona, but on the way back, they got into a car accident.
Despite the injuries, the family refused medical care and relied on spiritual healing and medicinal herbs.
This wasn’t the first time they didn’t go to the hospital. The family had a history of refusing medical assistance and ignoring dangers.
Shawn, Tara’s violent brother, attacked her for wearing makeup, but her parents didn't take it seriously.
Tara began to believe she was emotionally invulnerable and tried to convince herself that she only cried due to physical pain.
Tara was uncertain about going to college as her family's plan was for her to get married and learn herbal healing and midwifery.
However, her brother Tyler encouraged her to consider leaving home for college, and she began studying for the ACT test.
After two attempts, she eventually scored a 28 and got accepted into Brigham Young University.
While her mother was supportive, her father opposed her decision to go to college, claiming that the Lord told him that he’s displeased with it.
Despite her father's objections, Faye drove Tara to BYU and saw her off.
Tara moved to Provo, Utah for college with only a few jars of canned peaches and some clothes.
Her roommates shocked her with their immodest clothing and disregard for religious principles.
Tara struggled with the noise and unfamiliarity of the city and found her college classes overwhelming, with textbooks full of impenetrable terms.
She especially struggled with a Western civilization class, but managed to almost get straight As in her other classes by the end of the semester.
She learned the benefits of modern medicine after her friend Charles convinced her to take ibuprofen for an earache.
Tara's roommate also helped her overcome her fear of doctors when she came down with a sore throat.
The local church helped Tara accept financial assistance when she couldn't afford her college expenses, including a necessary dental operation.
Tara learned to accept help when faced with health and financial challenges.
At 19, Tara qualified for a student-aid loan and was able to live without financial worries for the first time in her life.
As she continued her education, she learned about bipolar disorder and realized that her father's behavior and delusions fit the symptoms perfectly.
She was angry that her family had been brainwashed by his delusions for so long.
Tara rushed home when she learned that her father was likely to die after a gas tank explosion. Despite suffering serious injuries, Gene miraculously survived.
Tara originally intended to focus on music in college, but her true interests were in history and politics.
Her professor recommended her for a study-abroad program at the University of Cambridge, where she was assigned the respected professor Jonathan Steinberg for her research. Steinberg was impressed with her work and promised to help her get into graduate school.
Tara was eventually awarded the Gates Cambridge Scholarship and became a local celebrity in Idaho.
Tara returned to England for graduate studies at Trinity College and began to feel like she belonged. She made friends, started to relax some of her old rules, and opened up about her family's past.
However, Tara received a disturbing email from her sister about Shawn attacking her, and she promised to support her sister and confront Gene about Shawn.
Meanwhile, the family's new business is a success, but Gene expectedly turned down a $3 million buyout offer.
Tara continued to thrive in her studies at Trinity College, delved into books on feminism and investigating Mormonism academically. She won a place at Cambridge for her PhD studies.
Things in Idaho remained tense as Shawn threatened Tara and her sister, Audrey, and their parents did little to help. Tara confronted Shawn and her parents, but they dismissed her accusations and demanded proof.
Shawn continued to threaten to kill Tara, but her parents refused to intercede and instead chose to help their son rather than protect their daughters.
Her father demanded that she accept a priesthood blessing and forget Shawn's previous acts of violence and threats, which Tara refused to do.
Her parents' demands led to Tara having a mental breakdown and panic attacks that almost cost her PhD. However, she regained her focus, cut contact with her parents, and completed her thesis.
Tara visited Idaho years later to attend her maternal grandmother's funeral. She reconnected with Tyler, his wife, two maternal aunts, and her other siblings, most of whom still supported Gene and Shawn.
Tara remained in contact with only a few family members and came to terms with the fact that she needed to distance herself from the Idaho mountains.
Tara came to understand that education was not just about obtaining knowledge, but also about discovering who she was and what she wanted out of life. Despite the challenges, she persevered and achieved her goals, ultimately becoming a successful academic and writer.

Bonus: Tyler Westover’s since-removed Amazon review on the book.

The Effective Executive: The Definitive Guide to Getting the Right Things Done

Peter F. Drucker

A seminal management book that provides strategies for managing time, leveraging strengths, and making decisions to become a more impactful professional.

6.1 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The executive’s job is to be effective. Being effective means getting the right things done.
Any knowledge worker (whose work primarily requires using their brain, not their body) can become an effective executive, regardless of their title. If you make decisions that impact the organization, then you're an executive.
Leaders need to be effective to set the right example for their teams.
The effectiveness of knowledge workers is measured by results, not by hours or quantity.
Effectiveness is like a habit, it can be practiced and learned.
“Intelligence, imagination, and knowledge are essential resources, but only effectiveness converts them into results.”
There are five habits/practices of an effective executive:
Know thy time: “They work systematically at managing the little of their time that can be brought under their control.”
What can I contribute: “They gear their efforts to results rather than to work. They start out with the question, ‘What results are expected of me?’ rather than with the work to be done, let alone with its techniques and tools.”
Making strengths productive: “Effective executives build on strengths -- their own strengths, the strengths of their superiors, colleagues, and subordinates; and on the strengths in the situation, that is, on what they can do. They do not build on weakness. They do not start out with the things they cannot do.”
First things first: “Effective executives concentrate on the few major areas where superior performance will produce outstanding results. They force themselves to set priorities and stay with their priority decisions. They know that they have no choice but to do first things first -- and second things not at all. The alternative is to get nothing done.”
Effective decisions: “They know that this is, above all, a matter of system -- of the right steps in the right sequence. They know that an effective decision is always a judgment based on ‘dissenting opinions’ rather than on ‘consensus on the facts.’ And they know that to make many decisions fast means to make the wrong decisions. What is needed are few, but fundamental, decisions. What is needed is the right strategy rather than razzle-dazzle tactics.”
Know thy time. Time is a limiting factor. Unlike other resources, you cannot buy more time.
To be more effective with your time:
Record where your time actually goes.
Cut unproductive demands on your time
Consolidate your discretionary time into the largest possible continuing units.
Prolonged, uninterrupted periods of discretionary time are much more productive than shorter, sporadic periods of time, even if the total duration of the shorter periods is longer.
Eliminate tasks that do not need to be done. Ask “What would happen if this were not done at all?”
Delegate where possible. Ask “Which of the activities on my time log could be done by somebody else just as well, if not better?”
Avoid wasting others’ time. Ask others “What do I do that wastes your time without contributing to your effectiveness?”
Organizational time-loss often occurs from:
Lack of system or foresight. A symptom of this is when the same crisis repeats.
Overstaffing. If the organization is too big, people spend more time “interacting” rather than working.
Malorganization. Its symptom is too many meetings. Meetings should never be the main demand of an executive’s time.
Bad or ineffective information transfer. Communication needs to be improved.
“A well-managed factory is boring. Nothing exciting happens in it because the crises have been anticipated and have been converted into routine.”
“Meetings are by definition a concession to deficient organization for one either meets or one works. One cannot do both at the same time.”
Try consolidating more discretionary time by:
Working at home one day a week
Set mornings aside for important work
Effective executives continuously estimate their discretionary time and refine their time management periodically.
Effective executives set deadlines.
What can I contribute? Concentrate on results, not on effort. Take responsibility for the results.
Every organization needs performance in results, values (and their reaffirmation), and the development of its future members.
Executives have strong human relation skills not due to innate talent, but because they focus on making productive contributions through their work and relationships. True "good human relations" is defined by emphasis on productivity, not surface-level warmth. Substantive achievements, not just pleasant words, are what truly matter in these work-focused relationships.
Set high demands of yourself and your team.
“People in general, and knowledge workers in particular, grow according to the demands they make on themselves.”
To have an effective meeting, be prepared. Know its purpose and have an expected result. At the end of the meeting, return to the purpose and state the conclusion.
“The oft-repeated quip, ‘I’m sorry to write you a long letter, as I did not have time to write a short one,’ could be applied to meetings: ‘I’m sorry to imprison you in this long meeting, as I did not have time to prepare a short one.’”
Making strengths productive. Hire people based on their strengths, not on their lack of weaknesses. To hire based on strength means you need to tolerate weaknesses.
Cultivate an attitude and culture to perform, not just to please superiors.
Staff for opportunities, not problems. This creates the most effective organization, it also creates enthusiasm and dedication.
Executives must make personnel decisions based on objective measures of performance and contribution, rather than personality, as this impersonal fairness is essential for retaining top talent.
“There is no such thing as a ‘good man.’ Good for what? is the question.”
A job should be:
Well designed. Redesign if it defeats two or three competent employees in succession.
Big and demanding. It should be challenging to bring out the best in people and produce significant results.
Be what one can do rather than the job requirements.
To appraise someone, try asking the following:
“What has she done well? What, therefore, is she likely to be able to do well?”
“What does she have to learn or to acquire to be able to get the full benefit from her strength?”
“If I had a son or daughter, would I be willing to have him or her work under this person? Why or why not?”
Executives must remove any underperforming employees, especially managers, as their continued presence corrupts and demoralizes the entire organization. Allowing inadequate individuals to remain is not only unfair to the team and the company, but also cruel to the employee themselves, who inevitably suffers under the strain of a role they cannot fulfill.
The effective executive focuses on leveraging the strengths of their boss, rather than dwelling on their limitations. They ask of their superiors:
“What can my boss do really well? What has he done really well?”
“What does he need to know to use his strength?”
“What does he need to get from me to perform?”
The effective executive recognizes their own unique strengths, and builds on them to maximize their personal productivity and impact, rather than trying to be someone they're not.
Ask “What are the things that I seem to be able to do with relative ease, while they come rather hard to other people?”
First things first. The secret to effectiveness is concentration.
“Effective executives do first things first and they do one thing at a time.”
Constantly ask of all activities, “Is this still worth doing?” Eliminate everything that’s not an unequivocal “yes.”
“The people who get nothing done often work a great deal harder.”
“DuPont has been doing so much better than any other of the world’s large chemical companies largely because it abandons a product or a process before it begins to decline.”
The rules for picking priorities are more based on courage than on analysis:
“Pick the future as against the past.”
“Focus on opportunity rather than on problem.”
Choose your own direction, don’t just follow.
Aim high to make a difference, don’t just do things that are safe.
“It is more productive to convert an opportunity into results than to solve a problem -- which only restores the equilibrium of yesterday.”
Effective executives do not make a large number of decisions, but rather focus on a few critical, high-impact decisions. They make these decisions on the highest level of conceptual understanding.
Speed in decision-making is not as important as diligence and soundness.
The elements of the effective decision process:
Determine if a situation is generic, requiring a principle or rule based response, or exceptional, requiring a unique response.
Clearly defining the objectives, minimum goals, and the conditions a decision must satisfy (boundary conditions).
Decisions should be based on what is truly right, not just what is acceptable. Compromises are inevitable but the right compromise must be identified.
Converting a decision into specific, assigned action steps is essential, as a decision is not truly made until it has become someone's responsibility to carry it out.
Feedback mechanisms must be built in to continuously test decisions against reality (with data), as even the best decisions can be fallible or become obsolete over time.
“Converting a decision into action requires answering several distinct questions: Who has to know of this decision? What action has to be taken? Who is to take it? And what does the action have to be so that the people who have to do it can do it? The first and the last of these are too often overlooked -- with dire results.”
“All military services have long ago learned that the officer who has given an order goes out and sees for himself whether it has been carried out… Not that he distrusts the subordinate; he has learned from experience to distrust communications.”
An example of how boundary conditions help to make tough decisions: The New York Times once delayed distribution for nearly an hour arguing over the proper hyphenation of a single word, as upholding their strict standards of grammatical perfection was a non-negotiable boundary condition. While seemingly trivial, this decision was justified because it aligned with their established and respected editorial guidelines, even if it came at the cost of getting fewer copies to market on time.
Effective executives recognize that decision-making begins with opinions, not facts. They then guide the group to identify the key information required to rigorously test the validity of these hypotheses/opinions, ensuring the people who proposed the initial opinions also take responsibility for gathering the necessary supporting evidence.
Effective decision-making requires disagreements, as good decisions are made when based on the choice between alternative judgments.
Successful executives do not rely on intuition, but rather emphasize testing opinions against facts, and intentionally cultivate disagreement to ensure they fully understand the decision at hand.
Disagreements help to avoid being trapped by organizational biases, ensure viable alternatives are considered, and stimulate creative thinking.
The effective executive first considers whether a decision is actually necessary, as the alternative of doing nothing can sometimes be the right choice.
For decisions that fall between action or inaction, of which there will be many, the executive should:
“Act if on balance the benefits greatly outweigh cost and risk.”
“Act or do not act; but do not ‘hedge’ or compromise.”

Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future

Ashlee Vance

An insightful biography of Elon Musk, the innovative and enigmatic entrepreneur.

4.2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Musk's innovative and ambitious character can be traced back to his challenging childhood in Pretoria, South Africa. His parents separated and he stayed with his father. He was bullied in school, and he once was beaten so badly that he had to miss a week of school.
Musk found solace in reading and studying. With his photographic memory, he absorbed vast amounts of knowledge and drew inspiration from books like The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which emphasized the importance of asking the right questions.
Even at a young age, Musk pondered ideas that could advance human civilization, such as solar power, space exploration, and paperless banking. His entrepreneurial spirit also emerged early on, as he sold a video game he created called Blastar at the age of 12 for $500.
In 1988, he left South Africa to avoid military service and initially settled in Canada to attend Queen’s University before eventually pursuing his dream of moving to the United States.
In college, Musk actively participated in public speaking contests, studied business, and successfully pursued a romantic relationship with Justine Wilson, who would later become his first wife and the mother of his 6 sons.
Musk was stood up by Justine on their first date, but Musk found out her location and her favorite ice cream and brought chocolate-chip ice creams to her.
Musk transferred to the University of Pennsylvania after two years at Queen’s. He formed friendships with his physics colleagues, including Adeo Ressi, with whom he hosted house parties and charged admissions, which they used to pay rent.
Musk founded his first start-up Zip2 (initially named Global Link Information Network) with his brother in 1995. They received many rejections before Mohr Davidow Ventures invested in them.
With the infusion of capital, Zip2 was able to hire skilled engineers who improved Musk’s code and streamlined the platform, which hurt Musk’s pride, a self-taught coder. In 1999, Zip2 was bought by Compaq Computer for $307 million. Musk did not stay at Compaq because he wanted to start his own business.
Musk purchased luxurious items like sports cars and a prop plane with his Compaq money, but the majority of it went to his next venture, X.com, one of the first online banks. Concurrently, Max Levchin and Peter Thiel worked on one of the first online payment systems, PayPal.
Recognizing the strengths of each company, X.com and Confinity merged in 2000. However, Musk soon faced internal conflicts, with Thiel resigning and Levchin considering the same. Musk persisted in promoting the X.com brand despite the majority of coworkers favoring PayPal. Meanwhile, the company experienced technical issues, including system failures and website crashes.
In a significant turn of events, while Musk was away on his honeymoon, executives orchestrated a coup and asked Thiel to return as CEO, sidelining Musk to an advisory role. The company renamed itself PayPal and eventually sold it to eBay in 2002 for $1.5 billion. Musk received $250 million.
Elon Musk ventured into the space industry after his 30th birthday. He relocated his family to Los Angeles, close to the epicenter of the space industry, and set his sights on Mars exploration.
He aimed to create cheaper rockets and founded SpaceX (Space Exploration Technologies) in 2002, with a mission to become the Southwest Airlines equivalent in space travel.
Musk set ambitious and many times unrealistic goals, envisioning rapid progress and cost reductions compared to existing options.
Musk aggressively planned the first launch for just 15 months after the inauguration of the company, in reality it took 4 years. Musk understood that failure was a natural part of the process and remained determined to overcome challenges. Despite setbacks, SpaceX made significant strides, becoming the first commercial company to carry the Dragon capsule to space and successfully retrieve it through an ocean landing.
Tesla Motors was founded in 2003 by Martin Eberhard and Marc Tarpenning, and J. B. Straubel joined later. Despite facing initial skepticism from venture capitalists, Musk recognized the potential of the project and invested $6.5 million to become the sole shareholder and chairman of Tesla.
In 2012, the release of the Model S sedan marked a significant milestone, showcasing features such as continuous internet connectivity and touchless engine startup. The Model S received many accolades, including being named Motor Trend's Car of the Year and earning the highest rating ever given by Consumer Reports.
Tesla's success was extraordinary considering Musk's lack of prior experience in car manufacturing and the limited involvement of Silicon Valley in the automotive industry. The company's achievements positioned it as a major player in the automotive industry and demonstrated the potential of electric vehicles.
Musk's interest in solar power emerged before the creation of SpaceX, but he initially didn't see a lucrative opportunity in it. When his cousins, the Rive brothers, were exploring business ideas, Musk suggested solar energy. The Rive brothers recognized the barriers to solar panel adoption, particularly the complexities of installation, and decided to provide customers with a seamless experience from selection to installation. Thus SolarCity came to be, with Musk playing a key role in developing the structure of the company, and becoming its chairman and largest shareholder. SolarCity has since become the largest solar panel installer in the US, serving both individual customers and large corporations. (Tesla acquired SolarCity in 2016).
Musk's businesses strategically complement each other. Tesla produces battery packs that SolarCity can offer to customers, while SolarCity supplies solar panels to power Tesla's charging stations.
Elon Musk continues to pursue ambitious plans that aim to transform various industries. One of his notable projects is the Hyperloop, a high-speed transportation system that utilizes pneumatic tubes and pods to transport people and cars at speeds of up to 800 miles per hour.
Elon Musk's personal life has been marked by turbulence and challenging relationships. He has been married three times, including twice to the same woman. Musk's passionate and hot-headed nature has contributed to difficulties in his marriages.
Justine reminded him during an argument that she was his wife, not an employee. Musk responded that he would have fired her if she was. One day in 2008, Musk asked Justine to fix their marriage on that day or he’d file for divorce the next day. Justine asked for a week, so Musk filed for divorce the day after.
Soon after his divorce, Musk met Talulah Riley in London and they got married. They divorced in 2012 but got remarried a few months after. They divorced again in 2014. Musk found it impossible to maintain a relationship, stating that a woman requires a minimum of 10 hours per week.
Riley claims that despite his busy schedule, he made efforts to spend time with his family, having dinner with them and playing computer games with his children.
Musk has been described as tough, mean, volatile, and unempathetic. For example, Mary Beth Brown, his loyal assistant for over 12 years, was fired two weeks after she asked for a compensation increase.
Musk’s relentless drive sometimes leads to demanding expectations and even verbal abuse towards his employees. He also sets aggressive goals and expects complete commitment from his team. Musk once berated an employee for missing a company event to attend his child’s birth.
Musk's dedication is demonstrated by his intense weekly schedule, splitting his time between SpaceX in Los Angeles and Tesla in Silicon Valley.
Musk's drive to save the human race by relocating humanity to Mars has been the key to his success in the sustainable-technology industry.

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

Daniel Goleman

A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be smart.

3.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

If we were unfeeling and purely logical, our lives would be much worse. We would lose many advantages that emotions provide.
Emotions help us learn from our memories. For example, a boy reprimanded for breaking a vase will learn to not do it again because he’ll remember the sadness and guilt from his actions.
Emotions enable us to understand the feelings and predict actions of others. For example, when we recognize someone’s angry body language we can predict he’s more likely to be violent.
Emotions drive us to act. For example, feeling frightened compels us to avoid dangerous situations.
Despite being important tools for understanding and interacting with our environment, emotions can sometimes impede our judgment or make us act irrationally.
Our brain can only process a finite number of data, when we are bombarded with emotions, we leave no room for rational thought.
When information enters our brain, parts of it bypasses the neocortex, the logical part of our brain, and directly enters the amygdala, the emotional part of the brain.
We often experience emotional hijackings, which are brief bursts of intense emotions, such as extreme anger or happiness, that occur before the neocortex has an opportunity to process the situation.
Obsolete emotional responses can affect our reactions to situations in the present. For example, someone who was bullied in school can have his fear of being bullied linger, even as a successful adult.
Your emotional intelligence (EI) includes your ability to recognize and control feelings. Exercise your EI by:
Acknowledging and labeling your emotions
Understanding the cause of your emotions and thinking rationally about a situation
Changing your thinking to have a positive perspective
Imagine you pass by a friend and she ignores you. You are initially charged with negative feelings, but then you should acknowledge that you feel disappointed. Next, try to understand why you’re disappointed, maybe because you value her friendship and it seems like it’s not reciprocated. Finally, change your thinking to be more positive, maybe she was focused on something else and just didn’t see you.
Students with good EI tend to excel even with average IQs.
A large part of our happiness depends on our social interactions with others. EI is fundamental to maintaining positive relationships.
EI develops social aptitudes such as teaching, conflict resolution, and team management.
By putting oneself in other people's shoes and analyzing nonverbal cues, one can empathize with others and behave in ways that evoke favorable reactions.
Mirroring another person's body language can improve empathy, as body language not only expresses feelings but also causes them. For example, we laugh because we are happy, but laughing also makes us happy.
Sometimes when someone complains, they are not asking for advice, they simply want to be heard and understood.
EI relies on the collaboration between the rational thinking brain and the emotional feeling brain. The two are interconnected by strong neural pathways and damage to these pathways can lead to emotional intelligence deficits.
Patients who underwent a lobotomy lost their emotions and drive to act because the surgery separated the emotional region of the brain from the thinking region.
Emotional self-regulation requires the thinking brain to regulate the feeling brain's response to stimuli. This prevents us from constantly overreacting to our environment. For example, when we hear a loud sneeze it triggers our emotional brain to react, but then our thinking brain assesses that it’s not a threat and calms us down.
Studies suggest EI is just as important as high IQ, if not more, in achieving success and leading a fulfilling life.
The famous Stanford “Marshmallow Challenge” showed that four-year-olds with better impulse control were more successful socially and academically years later.
One study showed that students with high levels of empathy receive significantly better grades compared to students with similar IQ scores but lower levels of empathy.
EI helps us lead healthier lifestyles by mitigating the harmful effects of stress (e.g., high blood pressure, weak immune system, cardiovascular diseases).
Genetics play a part in EI and even our general outlooks in life, but our brain is remarkably malleable so we’re not limited to what we’re born with.
We naturally have the ability to empathize. Babies mimic other people’s emotions -- they will cry if they see others cry, and they will laugh if they see others laugh.
To avoid making someone feel undervalued or confused when providing criticism, it's important to be specific, include praise, and suggest a solution. By selecting a particular situation and clearly outlining what could have been improved and what was done well, you can effectively communicate your feedback.
The absence of emotional intelligence can make us vulnerable to "flooding," a situation in which an emotional reaction like anger triggers even more anger.
Men are generally more prone to "flooding" than women, as men often cope with flooding through withdrawal or stonewalling, rather than the emotional expression stereotypically associated with women.
Have a positive inner-dialogue to improve self-motivation. It is important to attribute setbacks to things that can be changed, rather than a personal deficit.
Positive thinking and optimism are crucial aspects of emotional intelligence as they enable individuals to handle challenges with minimal depression and distress.
Immense emotions can cause us to act in regrettable ways. Monitor your feelings and take a break to calm down when feeling overwhelmed.
The EI of children plays a vital part in shaping the future of society. Studies show that EI deficits can lead to delinquency and increased crime rates.
Studies found violent criminals and sex offenders have low self-control and difficulty in recognizing facial expressions.
People who are more prone to addiction may be using substances as a means of self-medication to manage their emotions (e.g., depression, anxiety, or anger).
Children with emotionally intelligent parents are better at regulating their own emotions, have lower stress levels, and are better liked by their peers. Children with emotional intelligence deficits are at risk of developing mental health problems and tend to have more problems at school.
Emotionally inept parents typically respond to children’s feelings by ignoring them, suppressing them, or showing no respect for them.
Despite the importance of emotional intelligence, there is little emphasis on emotional skills in the typical school curriculum.

The Everything Store: Jeff Bezos and the Age of Amazon

Brad Stone

Chronicle of the meteoric rise of Amazon and its founder Jeff Bezos, who transformed online retail through relentless innovation and an unwavering customer-centric approach.

3.3 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

In his commencement speech at Princeton University, Jeff Bezos emphasizes, “When you are eighty years old, and in a quiet moment of reflection narrating for only yourself the most personal version of your life story, the telling that will be most compact and meaningful will be the series of choices you have made. In the end, we are our choices.”
In 2017, Bezos became the wealthiest person in the world.
Bezos was born in New Mexico and grew up in Texas. He was an ambitious and prodigious child who attended a school for gifted students.
Bezos attended Princeton University, initially majoring in physics before switching to electrical engineering and computer science.
After working at a hedge fund (D.E. Shaw & Co.) that saw the internet's potential, Bezos thought of the possibility of an online Everything Store.
Bezo and his then-wife, MacKenzie Scotts, left D.E. Shaw & Co. in 1994 to start an online retailer called Amazon in his garage, initially selling books from Seattle using his savings and family loans.
Alternative names for Amazon were Awake.com, Browse.com, and Relentless.com. These domains still redirect to Amazon.com to this day.
Amazon has relentlessly focused on enhancing the customer experience, introducing innovative features like customer reviews and used product sales despite initial resistance from sellers.
“Don’t be worried about our competitors because they’re never going to send us any money anyway. Let’s be worried about our customers and stay heads-down focused.”
The company obsessively analyzes customer behavior to provide tailored recommendations, while constantly optimizing logistics to deliver orders rapidly.
The compulsive customer-centricity, formalized as Amazon's goal to be "Earth's most customer-centric company," drives innovation and dictates the company's culture.
Jeff Bezos would forward customer complaints to employees with just a “?” in his message.
Amazon went public in 1997, and rapidly expanded into new product categories using investment money during the dot-com boom.
In 1998, Bezos made a lot of money by investing in Google, an eventual rival.
While some Amazon expansions failed (e.g., eBay clone), Bezos followed a "Get Big Fast" strategy to achieve market dominance.
Amazon survived the dot-com bust of 2000 by raising overseas investment mostly in the form of convertible bonds (bonds that can be exchanged for company shares).
Amazon had its first profitable quarter in 2002.
Bezos’ family are Star Trek fans, and Bezo was fascinated by science fiction and rockets, leading him to found Blue Origin, a space exploration company.
In the early 2000s, Amazon revamped its outdated distribution system and launched Amazon Prime two-day shipping in 2004.
Bezos emphasized team autonomy over middle management bloat.
Amazon ruthlessly quashed worker unionization efforts.
Amazon maintains an extremely frugal corporate culture with employees paying for parking, business travel, and no workplace perks.
Amazon’s cutthroat frugality resulted in harsh working conditions in fulfillment centers, where poorly paid workers must walk extreme distances in silence under threat of termination. Amazon also repeatedly hires and fires tens of thousands of temporary low-wage workers from economically depressed areas to meet seasonal labor needs.
Bezos does not find large groups productive, preferring small decentralized teams that can implement innovative ideas quickly.
Amazon came up with the “two pizza rule”, which says meetings should be small enough that attendees could be fed with two large pizzas.
Instead of typical presentations, Bezos prefers employees to write 6-page memos explaining their ideas which meeting attendees, including Bezos, read silently for up to 30 minutes to critically contemplate the ideas before persuasive discussion.
Meetings are extremely data-driven, requiring employees to substantiate arguments with hard numbers and key performance indicators.
Bezos discouraged overanalyzing opportunities and encouraged risk-taking and trying new initiatives. Amazon rewarded shoes from basketball players to employees who tried new things, even if their projects failed.
“Some of these investments will pay off, others will not, and we will have learned another valuable lesson in either case.”
Amazon prioritizes long-term thinking and is willing to make short-term losses to achieve future goals, such as investing heavily in infrastructure to become the leading online retailer. Bezos preaches being proactive in investing in customer satisfaction, even at a short-term cost, to build customer loyalty and future profits.
“It’s easier to invent the future than to predict it.” - Alan Kay
“Slow steady progress can erode any challenge over time.”
Bezos is financing the construction of the Clock of the Long Now, an underground clock in Texas designed to operate with minimal maintenance for 10,000 years as an iconic monument promoting broader perspectives on time horizons.
To compete with Google, Amazon reinvented itself as a technology company with Amazon Web Services (AWS) in 2005.
AWS provides cloud storage and computing power to major companies, startups, and government agencies.
In the late 2000s, Amazon's success continued with soaring stock prices, while launching AmazonFresh grocery delivery and fending off a price cut war with Walmart and Target.
Inspired by what Apple did to the music industry with iTunes and iPod, Amazon tried to do the same with the e-book market, releasing the Kindle in 2007 after tense negotiations with publishers over pricing and increased Amazon's market dominance.
Amazon's Kindle self-publishing platforms worried publishers it could make them obsolete, leading Apple to join the publishers to create a new pricing policy (agency model) that lets the publishers set their prices. Amazon profited even more with the new pricing policy.
Facing public criticism over issues like tax avoidance, acquisitions, and supplier policies, Bezos voiced his desire to his executives to make Amazon more loved than feared.
Bezos on what makes Amazon different: “We are genuinely customer-centric, we are genuinely long-term oriented and we genuinely like to invent.”
The author made contact with Bezos’ biological father, who lost contact with Bezos and was not aware of his son’s success. Bezos and his biological father then exchanged letters.
Bezos envisions Amazon as a company in constant evolution. Despite Amazon’s astonishing success so far, Bezos believes there are still many ambitious goals to pursue.

Factfulness: Ten Reasons We're Wrong About the World

Hans and Ola Rosling, and Anna Rosling Rönnlund

An essential book that challenges misconceptions, exposes cognitive biases, and provides a refreshing perspective on the true state of the world.

2.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

We should have a more optimistic outlook on the world. Extreme poverty has significantly decreased over the past few decades, global population growth is slowing down, more children are attending school than ever before, and overall health and life expectancy have improved worldwide.
In the United States, only 5% of the population believed that the level of extreme poverty has been halved in the past 20 years.
The worldwide income categories can be divided into four levels:
Level 1: less than $2 a day
Level 2: $2–$8 a day
Level 3: $8–$32 a day
Level 4: $32+ a day
The vast majority of the countries are in the middle (Level 2 or 3) income levels. We tend to underestimate how developed lower-income countries are. The concept of “developing” and “developed” countries made sense decades ago but not today.
There are ten overdramatic instincts that distort our perspectives.
One: The Gap Instinct - Tendency to divide things into two distinct and often conflicting groups with an imagined gap between them.
The East-vs-West divide portrays the West and the East as fundamentally different due to factors like high birth rates, religion, and culture. In reality, the “East” and “developing” countries have made significant progress toward modernization.
Solution: Locate the majority/middle of both groups. Ask “Is there really a gap?”
Two: The Negativity Instinct - Tendency to focus on the bad rather than the good.
We believe that the world is getting worse, despite evidence to the contrary. Media outlets feed on our negativity instinct, and our overexposure to news exacerbates the negative outlook. Many positive trends often go unnoticed due to the negativity instinct.
Low child mortality rates are an indicator of improved overall health, education, and economic systems. In 1965, 125 nations fell into the "developing" category with child mortality rates over 5%, whereas today only 13 countries remain in that category.
60% of the girls in low-income nations finish public school.
80% of one-year olds worldwide are vaccinated.
In 1800, 85% of the world lived in extreme poverty, whereas today, that percentage has dropped to 9%.
Due to progress in building materials, the rate of natural disaster deaths today is only 25% of what it was 100 years ago.
Solution: Expect bad news from the media, accept problems, and acknowledge progress. Ask “Would improvement get attention?”
Three: The Straight-Line Instinct - Tendency to assume linear trends will perpetually continue.
Our fear of overpopulation is overblown. As poverty decreases, the birth rate decreases. We will likely peak around 11 billion. Population won’t grow linearly as our instinct might suggest.
Solution: Know most trends are not linear. Ask 'Why wouldn’t this linear line bend?'
Four: The Fear Instinct - Tendency to overestimate risk.
Our fear instinct developed as a survival mechanism, protecting us from threats in more dangerous times. However, in today's safer world, we tend to misplace or exaggerate our fears and worries.
Solution: Evaluate the risks with facts and avoid making decisions when in fear. Ask “Is it really dangerous?”
Five: The Size Instinct - Tendency to overvalue data that’s out of context.
When we receive data we should put it in the right context. For example, 4 million infant deaths in a year might sound bad, but if we realize 14.4 million infants died in 1950 we can see that much progress has been made.
Solution: Compare with other data and get the context. Ask “Is it bad in comparison?”
Six: The Generalization Instinct - Tendency to generalize people and countries.
People in higher-income countries generalize that people in lower-income countries all live in poverty. To develop an accurate worldview and avoid generalization, it is crucial for individuals to seek multiple perspectives.
Solution: Traveling to other countries is a good way to gain perspective. Examine your categories. Ask “How are they different?”
Seven: The Destiny Instinct - Tendency to assume innate and immutable characteristics.
Many feel Africa can’t reach economic prosperity because of fundamental differences in culture and religion when the data is proving that notion false.
Solution: Notice slow changes. Ask “Isn’t it always changing slowly?”
Eight: The Single Perspective Instinct - Tendency to prefer single causes and single solutions.
Complex problems require careful consideration of all possible facts and outcomes, and simple causes and solutions are rare. People favor simplicity because it’s easier to understand.
Do not exaggerate your claims. Exaggeration might spur action in the short-term but it’s harmful in the long-term as you’ll lose credibility.
Solution: Use multiple tools to conceive ideas and be aware of your limitations. Ask “What other solutions exist?”
Nine: The Blame Instinct - Tendency to blame someone or something salient for problems.
Blaming the CEO of a pharmaceutical company for not researching diseases that primarily affect impoverished populations overlooks the influence of board members and shareholders.
Blaming traffickers for refugee deaths fails to examine the deeper problem of stringent European laws regarding refugee travel.
Solution: Refrain from assigning blame solely to individuals or specific groups, try to see the bigger picture. Ask, “What system made this possible?”
Ten: The Urgency Instinct - Tendency to make quick decisions in tense situations.
Rash decisions are often regrettable and we should consider all the facts and long-term consequences before deciding something important.
Solution: Take small steps. Ask “Can we make decisions as we go?”

Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All-American Meal

Eric Schlosser

A revealing exploration of the fast food industry in America.

3.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Originally, fast food was served by roller-skating waitresses at drive-ins, then the McDonald brothers revolutionized the industry by focusing on efficiency and speed. They adopted factory production principles (one task for one employee/the assembly line) and served a few simple meals that were easily eaten without cutlery and packaged in simple paper packaging.
Other fast food chains imitated McDonald's model, leading to the rapid growth of the industry.
Fast food chains use advertisements that target children and teenagers as they are more impressionable and they can influence their parents to buy fast food. Fast food chains also build playgrounds and bundle free toys with meals to attract kids, and this approach is highly effective, with 90% of American children between three and nine visiting McDonald's every month.
The fast food industry has infiltrated schools through contracts with soda companies and fast food chains. Many schools use corporate-sponsored materials, and even textbooks can be sponsored by corporations. One study guide sponsored by the American Coal Foundation claimed that carbon dioxide is beneficial to the planet.
The industry has serious impacts on the environment, including the destruction of rainforests, the use of pesticides and herbicides, and the pollution caused by factory farming.
The industry mainly hires vulnerable members of society, such as teens and migrants, who suffer from poor working conditions and are often overworked.
Fast food jobs have high turnover rates due to their assembly line method and lack of intensive training.
A larger percentage of fast food workers in the United States receive minimum wage compared to any other industry in the country.
Fast food restaurants are frequent targets for robberies, with many committed by former or current employees driven by low wages and poor conditions.
The industry continues to worsen worker care, developing machines to further reduce the need for training and using anti-union practices to prevent union formation.
The popular franchise model used by fast food companies involves allowing individuals to purchase a license to open up their own restaurant as part of an already existing chain. The corporation provides the brand and business model, while the franchisee provides the initial capital and operation. The franchisee must follow the corporation's rules and guidelines, but it operates as an independent business.
The franchise model is marketed as offering both independence and security for individuals wanting to start their own business, but in reality, franchisees bear more risk than the corporations. Franchisees invest a lot of money and must follow strict corporate rules. Franchise corporations also have better legal protection than franchise owners.
Studies have shown that a fast food franchise is more likely to go bankrupt than other enterprises.
Artificial flavoring is used in most fast food consumed in the United States. The fast food industry heavily relies on artificial flavoring to drive customer choices.
Artificial flavorings are made from a combination of numerous chemicals, many of which are also used for industrial purposes. They can be used to create a specific taste or smell, from the aroma of grilled hamburgers to the flavor of artificial strawberries.
The use of artificial flavorings is a key factor in the homogenization of food culture and the decline of quality in American food.
Processed foods, like canned goods and frozen meals, contribute to 90% of US food expenditures. Processed foods are artificially flavored because they lose flavor during production.
Artificial flavoring is labeled as "natural" or "artificial," but they can contain the same components and be produced in chemistry labs. The distinction is based more on how the flavor was made than on what it contains. Therefore, natural flavors aren't always healthier.
The fast food industry's dominance has led to monopolies in the food markets, including potato, poultry, and beef. This has made farmers more dependent on their buyers, resulting in contracts that leave them with little bargaining power. Farmers often earn very little, which leads to many going out of business and being forced to sell their land to the same big companies that dominate the market.
Similarly to the fast food industry, the meatpacking industry's use of cheap labor and assembly line production has led to poor working conditions for employees, who are often illegal migrants, homeless people, or refugees. The industry's move to small towns to avoid unions has resulted in poverty and increased criminal activity in the area.
The meatpack industry often saves money by not paying employee health insurance and paid holidays because most workers do not stay long enough to become eligible.
Working in a slaughterhouse is the most dangerous job in America. The injury rate in the meatpacking industry is three times higher than in a normal American factory due to the varying size and weight of the cattle, inadequately trained workers using dangerous tools, and the fast pace of the assembly line.
Workers commonly abuse drugs to keep up, making them less careful and further increasing the risk of injury.
The industry pressures workers to either not report their injuries or to come back to work before they've recovered, and compensation for injuries is minimal ($2,200-$4,500 for a lost finger).
Fast food production has led to a rise in foodborne illnesses in the United States. Deadly bacteria, like E. coli, can spread when beef is contaminated with cattle feces, a common occurrence due to unsanitary working conditions and unskilled workers, or when livestock is fed dead animals.
Centralized meat production means that one contaminated batch can affect millions of people. Around 200,000 Americans get sick from food poisoning every day.
The increase in foodborne illness is a direct result of the fast food industry's push for cheap meat. Despite some improvements in industry standards, meat quality in American households remains poor.
The fast food industry is a symbol of Americanization and Western-style capitalism worldwide. It is normally the first industry to enter a foreign country when its market opens to international investors.
Globalization of fast food contaminates local agriculture by importing new agricultural techniques and food supplies.
Prior to opening its first restaurants in India, McDonald’s trained local farmers on lettuce farming and provided them with lettuce seeds designed for the Indian climate.
The health consequences of consuming fast food, including the rise of obesity, heart disease, and diabetes, has spread along with the globalization of the industry.
As the number of fast food restaurants doubled in Great Britain between 1973 and 1993, so did the adult obesity rate.

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

Don Miguel Ruiz

A transformative guide to achieving personal freedom and happiness through powerful principles of self-awareness, authenticity, and positivity.

1.8 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The Toltec culture, a Mesoamerican culture which emphasized education and knowledge, has teachings that can help us achieve more fulfilling lives. The ideas in this book are inspired by the Toltec people.
Our dreams and behaviors are shaped by our environment. Since birth, society punishes us for disobeying its rules and rewards us for following them. We strip our individuality and domesticate ourselves by adhering to the desires of the collective. It happens to all of us, but we can obtain more agency and happiness by instituting The Four Agreements.
The first agreement: Be impeccable with your words. Words transform the way we think. They shape our reality and opinions. Do not say untrue negative things to ourselves or to others.
For example, a tired and irritable mother comes home from a hard day at work. Her daughter sings loudly. The mother says, “Please stop singing. It’s annoying.” These words can stay with the daughter for a long time and hurt her self-esteem.
The second agreement: Do not take things personally. When you do, you are in a state of personal importance and believe that everything is about you.
What people say or do reflect them, not you. People are more likely to insult you when they feel bad, and praise you when they feel good.
Take the time to truly know yourself, so judgements from others won’t affect you, because you’d know they’re untrue.
It is far more productive to seek acceptance from yourself than from others.
The third agreement: Ask questions, do not make assumptions (about others or about yourself). Most assumptions are not based on reality but imagination.
If someone ignored your greeting, you might assume you have wronged them, when in reality it’s mostly for another reason. They might be upset about something else, or simply didn’t hear you.
Assumptions hurt relationships. Asking questions (e.g., “I noticed XYZ. What’s going on?”) and communicating clearly is key.
The fourth agreement: Always do your best. If you don’t, you’re susceptible to self-criticism and guilt.
Be aware that your “best” always changes with context. For example, your best in the morning might be different from your best at night. Keep this in mind to avoid burning out.
Do your best in the things that make you happy. If you’re only working for a paycheck, your job will feel difficult and joyless. If you work on something you love, it will feel effortless and satisfying.
To start living by The Four Agreements, we first need to break our old agreements. There are three ways to do so.
First, we need to become aware of our dream of the first attention, which refers to our selfs that were constructed by others during childhood, and recognize our fear-based beliefs that cause us unhappiness. Then we can change our beliefs and dreams to create the dream of the second attention.
Second, according to Toltec teachings, there’s a parasite in our minds that breeds negativity and unhappiness. The way to starve the parasite is forgiveness. Practice forgiveness of others and yourself.
Third, live each day as if it’s your last. This is also called initiation of the dead. Everything only exists in the present. Ask yourself, “Do I really want to spend this precious moment worrying about what other people think?”

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

Oliver Burkeman

A guide that challenges our obsession with productivity by reframing time management as accepting life's finitude and focusing on what brings meaning.

4.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The human lifespan is absurdly short, if we live to 80 we’d only have about 40,000 thousand weeks of life, yet we often fail to spend our limited time on what truly matters. Instead we get caught up in busyness and productivity in a futile attempt to gain control over time.
We need to reevaluate our relationship with time and accept that we'll never achieve perfect productivity or work-life balance, but can still spend our finite weeks in more meaningful ways.
Our capitalist system incentivizes people to leverage their time and resources for maximum profit, often at the cost of living a meaningful life. In general, the wealthier you are the more anxious you feel about time.
After spending years trying to maximize his productivity as a productivity expert, Burkeman realized most of what he was doing was not what truly mattered in his life, and that no one can truly gain total control of their time.
Accept that you'll never have enough time to complete all desired tasks or achieve total control over your time usage. Relinquishing unrealistic expectations of being maximally productive is crucial for finding contentment.
Productivity results in more tasks and expectations to fill newly available time, as we feel compelled to use free time productively, leading to an endless cycle of busyness and feeling guilty about not doing more.
“Productivity is a trap. Becoming more efficient just makes you more rushed, and trying to clear the decks simply makes them fill up again faster. Nobody in the history of humanity has ever achieved ‘work-life balance’... The day will never arrive when you finally have everything under control -- when the flood of emails has been contained; when your to-do lists have stopped getting longer; when you’re meeting all your obligations at work and in your home life; when nobody’s angry with you for missing a deadline or dropping the ball; and when the fully optimized person you’ve become can turn, at long last, to the things life is really supposed to be about. Let’s start by admitting defeat: none of this is ever going to happen. But you know what? That’s excellent news.”
Time-saving technology like washing machines and vacuums can create an unrealistic expectation of being able to maximize one's time in all areas of life, leading to frustration when that level of efficiency is not attainable elsewhere.
In medieval times, peasants did not struggle with managing their time -- they simply worked as needed based on the sun's cycles, without strict schedules or the notion of limited lifespans. Our modern obsession with time management stems from the shift away from religion and belief in the afterlife, which made people recognize their finite time on Earth.
The emergence of secular thought combined with the development of mechanical clocks transformed the perception of time from a constant flow into a limited resource to be carefully allocated. The industrial revolution solidified this view by tying worker pay to hourly rates.
Most people spend their lives in avoidance or denial (of the fact that their time is finite) through distraction, routine, or following prescriptive societal paths. The key to an authentic, fulfilling life is to face and embrace our inevitable finitude and mortality.
Finitude is not morbid but what makes our limited experiences and relationships meaningful and precious. Rather than feeling defeated by our inability to do everything, accepting our finite time can free us to intentionally choose how to spend it on what matters most.
Commit strongly to a few choices. Don’t chase every option.
Prioritize and complete the most meaningful tasks first. Don’t wait for the “right time.”
Limit your commitments. You should work on no more than three items at a time.
Accept the future is unpredictable and uncontrollable by considering how little control you've actually had over the major events and circumstances of your life so far (e.g., where you’re born, who your parents are) -- most of which occurred by happenstance rather than through your intentional direction, yet you managed regardless.
Cultivate patience for the actual pace of tasks. Avoiding going as fast as possible will allow you to accomplish more in the long run without burning out.
To accomplish meaningful goals, we need to exert control over our attention and avoid distractions. Today, persuasive technology designs explicitly capitalize on capturing and monetizing our attention through addictive digital distractions that can distort our worldviews.
“What you pay attention to will define, for you, what reality is.”
Distractions come from an innate human discomfort with focusing on worthwhile endeavors that force us to confront our limitations (e.g., “I’m not good enough.”). By understanding the deeper roots of our distractions, we can work through the resistance.
When distracted or feeling discomfort while doing an important task, pay closer attention to the details and sensations of the task rather than avoiding it. Also, accept the inevitability of some discomfort.
Philosopher Henri Bergson argued that we prefer indecision to committing ourselves because the imagined future seems full of appealing possibilities, while reality requires making trade-offs and accepting imperfections. The key is recognizing that some loss of potential is unavoidable, which can liberate us from agonizing over decisions and motivate us to move forward despite imperfections.
Hofstadter’s law states that any task you’re planning to tackle will always take longer than you expect even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law.
Despite recognizing life's unpredictability, many of us obsessively plan and live for idealized future events with the "when I finally..." mindset, instead of the present moment.
“Our lives, thanks to their finitude, are inevitably full of activities that we’re doing for the very last time. Just as there will be a final occasion on which I pick up my son… Yet usually there’ll be no way to know, in the moment itself, that you’re doing it for the last time. [Sam] Harris’s point is that we should therefore try to treat every such experience with the reverence we’d show if it were the final instance of it. And indeed there’s a sense in which every moment of life is a ‘last time.’ It arrives; you’ll never get it again -- and once it’s passed, your remaining supply of moments will be one smaller than before. To treat all these moments solely as stepping-stones to some future moment is to demonstrate a level of obliviousness to our real situation that would be jaw-dropping if it weren’t for the fact that we all do it, all the time.”
Rather than berating ourselves for failing to live in the present, we can simply acknowledge that the present moment is always occurring. By letting go of the idea that we must strive to live in the present perfectly, we may actually find it easier to appreciate the here and now.
There is a modern tendency to fill free time with productive activities rather than true leisure. This decline of leisure was fueled by industrialists seeking to enhance worker productivity as well as labor reformers encouraging self-improvement during off hours.
We need to reclaim the ability to enjoy leisure pursuits purely for pleasure rather than self-optimization. Hobbies done simply for enjoyment's sake can provide fulfillment through permitting mediocrity.
Research shows there are mental health benefits of spending leisure time connecting with others socially.
A Swedish study found that antidepressant usage dropped when people were simultaneously on vacation.
Psychotherapist James Hollis had a patient who had a sudden epiphany during her business class flight that she hated her life and the pursuits she was engaged in no longer felt meaningful. Such feelings demonstrate an inner shift has occurred where one realizes fulfillment cannot be deferred to some future point, but must be addressed in the present weeks of one's finite life.
Your life doesn't need to have a grand purpose. Practicing cosmic insignificance therapy can make you happier. It means realizing that in the grand scale of things, it makes no difference in the universe whether you are an ordinary mother or the next Michelangelo. So, rather than feeling obliged to do something remarkably consequential with one's time, the more liberating approach is to find meaning in ordinary activities and relationships that make life slightly better for those around you.
“From this new perspective, it becomes possible to see that preparing nutritious meals for your children might matter as much as anything could ever matter.”

Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything

Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner

A thought-provoking and engaging exploration of the hidden incentives and motivations behind human behavior.

3.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Incentives are used by various people to affect behavior, and they can be economic, social, or moral. Incentives can affect one's pride, conscience, or wallet.
The most successful incentives combine all three types.
In the field of crime, the risk of going to prison, moral values, and social pressure are all incentives that discourage people from committing crimes.
Incentivizing behavior can be complex and adding incentives may not always have the desired effect.
In a study on reducing late pick-ups from daycare centers, a small fine of $3 for late pick-ups actually resulted in the number of late pick-ups doubling.
The issue was that the fine replaced an existing moral disincentive -- the guilt parents felt when arriving late.
Once the fine was introduced, parents were able to buy off their guilt, resulting in more late pick-ups.
After the fines were removed, there was no decrease in the number of late pick-ups -- the damage could not be undone.
Consider existing incentives when introducing new ones and the potential unintended consequences (e.g., new incentives displacing current incentives).
Incentives are context dependent. Different people react differently to the same incentives, and even the same person may respond differently to the same incentives on different occasions.
Teachers are incentivized to cheat when standardized test scores determine their raises and promotions.
Sumo wrestlers with winning records are incentivized to lose because they often receive bribes from teams with an even record. Since both teams will still end up with winning records in the tournament, the winning wrestler can afford to lose. This is why wrestlers with a 7-7 record disproportionately defeat opponents with an 8-6 record.
People enter the drug business because of its potential rewards. The rationale is similar to people who franchise a McDonald’s restaurant. However, the majority of the money goes to only a handful of people at the top in both scenarios.
An experiment with voluntary bagel payments in snack rooms showed that personal mood affected their decision to pay. Factors like weather, stressful holidays, office morale, and global events (after the 9/11 attacks, more paid because of increased empathy) affected people's moods, and thus influenced payment rates.
Experts have specialized knowledge that laypeople rely on to navigate unfamiliar territory, but an information asymmetry exists that can be exploited for experts’ gain.
In real estate, agents’ incentive to make a new sale quickly outweighs their commission's part that’s aligned with the customer's interests.
Research shows that estate agents leave their own houses on the market longer and get a higher price than when commissioned by clients.
This means that agents may encourage clients to take the first decent offer to maximize the agents’ own benefits.
Experts can take advantage of people's fears and lack of knowledge to manipulate them into making decisions that benefit the experts. This can happen in various fields such as car sales, real estate, and stockbroking.
Social fears, such as fear of looking uninformed, cheap, or dishonorable, can be exploited by experts in face-to-face situations.
Try to have strategies in place to buy time to make informed decisions, so you can get a second opinion or research the topic beforehand to reduce the information asymmetry.
The emergence of price comparison websites in the 1990s led to a significant drop in life insurance prices as customers were able to compare prices offered by different companies.
The internet reduced information asymmetry and provided consumers with better access to information before dealing with experts. As a result, consumers can make more informed decisions and reduce the unfair advantage of experts.
Information asymmetry can result in an information gap (lack of information), which has a powerful effect.
A new car can lose a significant amount of its value in just 24 hours due to the assumption that the seller knows something the buyer does not, so the buyer assumes the worst.
Omitting a photo on an online dating site leads to the worst results.
Consider not only the information you provide, but also what the other party expects and the conclusions they may jump to if information is omitted.
We are not as rational as we think when it comes to assessing risks. Our assessments of risks are influenced by how easily we can imagine them and how in control we feel.
We tend to over-assess the risk of rare events such as plane crashes or terrorist attacks because they are frequently reported in the media.
Many feel safer about a swimming pool than a house with a gun, even though the risk of a child being killed in a swimming pool accident is much greater. This is because the imagery of a gun death is stronger and more visceral.
We tend to feel safer when we feel in control, which is why people fear flying more than driving even though the risks of death are similar.
We tend to assume causality when in fact there may only be correlation. Just because two things happen simultaneously, one is not necessarily causing the other.
Washington DC has three times more police officers than Denver but eight times the number of homicides. Obviously, the additional number of officers is not causing the homicides, but only correlated to the number of homicides.
We tend to assume that money is the cause of political victories, but data shows that the amount of money spent has little effect on election results.
A losing candidate who doubles his campaign spendings can only expect a 1% increase in their vote. A winning candidate who halves his campaign spendings can only expect a 1% loss of votes.
Campaign contributors tend to support people who are already winning.
Money is correlated with campaign success, but not the cause.
When determining causality, we overlook remote causes and favor immediate and obvious causes.
When crime rates dropped in the early 1990s in US, experts rushed to explain the drop with factors like improving economy, tougher gun control, and innovative policing, but later analysis showed that the biggest factor was actually abortions (Roe v. Wade legalized abortions in US in 1973), which reduced the cohort of likely criminals.
Studies suggest that at least half of a parent's influence on a child is genetic.
Studies suggest that parenting methods involving specific actions have little to no effect, while parental qualities such as education level and age at the time of having children have a demonstrable influence.
I.e., who the parents are (qualities) is more important than what the parents do (actions).
A child’s name can impact their future. Studies show that names can create prejudice and bias, with stereotypically black names, for example, being less likely to lead to job interviews even with identical résumés as their white counterparts.
Statistical analyses of material measures such as child development and economic success do not fully capture how people behave.
Roland Fryer, who grew up in an impoverished black community with an abusive father went on to become a brilliant Harvard economist.
Ted Kaczynski, who grew up in an upper-class white community with loving parents became the infamous Unabomber.

Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity

David Allen

Breakthrough methods for increased performance and productivity.

3.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Our brains are bad at remembering important information amidst a constant stream of tasks and distractions. Trying to keep everything in our heads not only hampers our ability to think clearly but also leads to a lack of concentration on the task at hand.
To address this challenge, a system called Getting Things Done (GTD) offers a five-step workflow to regain control over our workload:
Capture: write down your tasks or ideas
Clarify: clearly define what the item is and decide if it’s actionable
Organize: create calendar reminders and lists
Reflect: regularly review the items in your system
Engage: pick an item to work on
Capture everything in external collection tools so we don’t rely on remembering. A collection tool is where we can quickly jot down tasks, ideas, reminders, and more whenever we think of them. The goal is to have a place where we can find these items later, regardless of their importance.
Collection tools can be physical (notebooks) or digital (list apps).
Collection tools should be easily accessible wherever you are.
Keep the number of collection tools to a minimum.
To start implementing the GTD system, go through existing to-dos, ideas, thoughts, and materials and transfer them to the collection tools.
Clarify items in your collection tools on a weekly basis.
Start by examining each item and determining what it is. Focus on identifying whether the item is actionable or not. If it's not actionable, it falls into three categories: trash, something to be dealt with later, or information for future reference.
For actionable items, define the desired outcome or result. If multiple actions are required, consider it a project. Then, determine the next physical and visible action needed to progress the project.
Two minute rule: If the action takes less than two minutes, do it immediately.
If the action takes longer, consider delegating it if appropriate. Otherwise, defer it for later.
Organize items with categorized lists. Examples:
Project list: items pertaining to a specific project
Waiting for: items you’ve delegated to others
Calendar: time-specific items (e.g., doctor’s appointment)
Someday/Maybe: items that you may want to address or remember in the future (e.g., repaint room, learn French, watch Titanic)
References: items that might later be useful reference material (e.g., positive work performance review)
Projects are defined as anything that requires multiple steps. Examples are planning a party and buying a car. Project lists should be regularly reviewed.
It's crucial to ensure that each project has a clear and concrete next action (e.g., email John, buy posterboard). Always ask “What’s the next action?” The next actions are what move the projects forward and lead to their completion.
The natural planning method is a five-stage approach to planning complex projects that aims to simplify the process. The aim is to reach a point where you feel confident in your project plan and no longer have lingering doubts.
Purpose and principles: Clearly define the purpose of your project and establish the guiding principles or boundaries that will shape its execution. Examples of a principle/boundary would be “don’t do anything unethical” or “don’t spend over $10,000”.
Outcome visioning: Envision the desired outcome of the project and paint a clear picture of what success looks like. This helps to focus your efforts and set a specific goal to work towards. An example would be “increase customer count by 20%”.
Brainstorming: Generate as many ideas as you can for achieving the desired outcome. Don't evaluate the ideas yet. Quantity is more important than quality at this stage.
Organizing: Sort and organize the generated ideas based on their relevance, priorities, concreteness, or their connections to each other.
Identifying next actions: Determine the specific, tangible actions that need to be taken to move the project forward. An example would be “call John to ask about the current customer count”.
Your calendar should only contain time-specific items like appointments. Other items should go on a Next Action list.
It may be helpful to categorize the Next Action based on context (e.g., computer tasks, grocery tasks, phone tasks).
When collaborating with others, it’s helpful to have a Waiting For list. This list allows you to track tasks or deliverables that you are waiting on from others, along with their respective deadlines.
By reviewing and updating this list regularly, you can identify when someone has not fulfilled their commitment within the agreed time frame. This then becomes a concrete task for you: to remind the person responsible.
Reflecting on your system allows you to ensure that it is up-to-date and reliable.
Begin each day by checking your calendar to understand your schedule and then review your Next Action lists to identify tasks that align with the context of the day.
Comprehensively review your system weekly. Tie up loose ends from the previous week, mark off completed tasks, review your calendar, check your Waiting For list, review project statuses, and assess your Someday/Maybe list.
Engage means choosing what to do next. You can trust your intuition or consider these four criteria:
The task's priority
The tasks you can do in the current context (e.g., at home, traveling, waiting at a doctor’s appointment)
The available time you have
Your energy levels
To organize and identify what’s important in our lives, categorize items into horizons.
Ground: current actions/tasks/reminders
Horizon 1: current projects
Horizon 2: areas of focus and accountabilities (e.g., time management at work, family time at home)
Horizon 3: 1-2 year goals
Horizon 4: long-term visions or 3-5 year goals
Horizon 5: life purpose
Keep your workspace(s) consistent and comfortable. The goal is to eliminate the time required to prepare your workspace. Have an efficient filing system, it should take less than a minute to file something away. Purge your filing system at least once a year to avoid bloat.
People often experience negative feelings regarding their unfinished items because they symbolize broken agreements they made to themselves. To handle this, you have three options:
Don’t make the agreement: only take on commitments that you need or want to do
Complete the agreement: finishing it will achieve a sense of accomplishment
Renegotiate the agreement: altering the terms does not equate to breaking the agreement

Girl, Wash Your Face

Rachel Hollis

A motivational and empowering self-help book that encourages women to overcome self-doubt and achieve their goals.

2.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Stop thinking that you are not good enough, you won’t land your dream job, you won’t have a great sex life, you are not a good mom, etc. They’re lies we tell ourselves. Everyone has the power to take control of their lives and achieve their goals.
Don’t break commitments or promises you’ve made to yourself. Imagine a hypothetical friend who disregards commitments similar to how you disregard your own commitments. For example, she promises to go on runs with you every evening but always cancels at the last moment because there’s something good on TV. You would be frustrated with this friend.
Keeping promises to oneself is essential to build self-respect and to form healthy habits. To make it easier, make the promises realistic and start with smaller commitments before moving on to bigger ones. Building a habit of keeping promises will help train the mind to achieve future goals and expectations, leading to greater self-respect and personal growth.
Don’t take “no” for an answer when it comes to pursuing your dreams. Many people (parents, friends, colleagues, etc.) will doubt you. The only person who needs to believe in you is yourself.
The author’s dream is to become a published author. However, no publisher wanted to publish her first novel, Party Girl, without making changes to it that were impermissible to the author. The author decided to self-publish and Party Girl eventually became a success.
Success takes time. Be patient. Julia Child took a decade to write Mastering the Art of French Cooking. James Cameron took fifteen years to make Avatar.
Don’t settle for an unexceptional sex life.
Self-image issues prevent the enjoyment of sex. Your partner is not thinking about the purported imperfections in your body during sex. He is simply ecstatic that he’s having sex.
Try positive self-talk to improve your self-esteem. The author regularly repeated to herself that she’s sexy, and she eventually believes it.
Commit to an orgasm when having sex. Many women do not expect to orgasm. Erase this narrative and have sex with an orgasm as the goal. Your partner will appreciate this idea because a loving partner is eager to pleasure you.
Try having sex every day for at least a month. It will lead to experimentation and you’ll discover enjoyable new ways of having sex. The author was pleasantly surprised when her partner wanted to have sex even more after this experiment.
We all face chaos in our lives (dryer breaks down on laundry day, heating goes out on a chilly day, etc.) but we don’t need to despair in them, because they are not signs of our failures -- they’re often inevitable consequences from circumstances outside of our control.
Embrace the chaos instead of swimming against it. Try laughing at difficult situations, and accept offers of help, no matter how small.
Struggles with health and body image issues are common in our society. Love and respect your body.
Your weight does not define your identity. While it is essential to love and accept yourself, if your weight is unhealthy, you should work hard to change it.
To lose weight, you need to consume fewer calories than you burn.
Two tips to becoming healthy: Edit your social media to unfollow any models of unrealistic beauty standards. Prepare rigorously -- make your healthy food for the week in one setting and lay out your exercise clothes in advance.
Do not compare yourself to others, you’ll always be unhappy if you do. Only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday.
Do not worry about what makes other people happy, focus on what makes you happy.
It is important for your wellbeing to build a supportive community of friends and loved ones.
Diversity is important for personal growth and a life of richness and understanding. If life was a book, wouldn’t it be boring if all the characters were the same?
The author had a sheltered upbringing in a small, conservative, and religious town, and a visit to Disneyland stunned her because of the different new types of people she’d seen. She was dumbfounded and stared at people as if she’s in a zoo. Now, one of the author's best friends is an African-Mexican American gay woman, who taught her how to recognize her unconscious biases and learn from other people's narratives.
Visualize your goal to stay focused and motivated. The more tangible and detailed your goal, the more effective it will be. Try to feel what it would be like when you accomplish your goal.
The author set a goal to buy a Louis Vuitton purse once she billed someone $10,000 in consulting fees. The specific and tangible goal of buying the purse helped her stay driven and focused on achieving her dream.

The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness

Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz

The directors of the longest scientific study of happiness ever conducted explains what makes a happy and healthy life.

1.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The Harvard Study of Adult Development is one of the longest and most comprehensive studies of adult life ever conducted. Started in 1938, it has tracked the physical and mental health of two cohorts of men for over 75 years.
The first cohort consisted of Harvard sophomores. The second cohort consisted of disadvantaged inner-city Boston boys.
Researchers collected medical data, blood samples, in-depth interviews, and questionnaires from the men (and later their wives) every two years. The study is still ongoing today.
The major finding is the importance of relationships for well-being. Study members with strong social connections were happier and physically healthier over time.
People with better relationships live longer and experience less mental decline.
“Through all the years of studying these lives, one crucial factor stands out for the consistency and power of its ties to physical health, mental health, and longevity. Contrary to what many people might think, it’s not career achievement, or exercise, or a healthy diet. Don’t get us wrong; these things matter (a lot). But one thing continuously demonstrates its broad and enduring importance: Good relationships.”
Loneliness was identified as a key risk factor for health declines and depression.
People in good relationships did not let physical pain affect their mood. People in bad relationships have their physical pain compounded with emotional pain.
The quality of relationships is way more important than the quantity.
Toxic relationships are harmful to health and happiness. A bad marriage is worse than getting divorced.
The happiest people in retirement were the people who had actively worked to pursue new relationships.
A recent survey shows that most young people want to be rich and famous. However, close relationships matter more for happiness than money or fame. Many study members achieved wealth and status, but those focused on prestige were less satisfied in later years.
The best indicator of one’s future well-being is the quality of their relationships, not social class, IQ, or biomarkers like cholesterol levels.
Try to reevaluate your priorities in life. It can be transformative to shift your focus from external markers of success to harnessing deep relationships.
Finding purpose and meaning in life contributes to happiness and fulfillment. Participants who found purpose in work, community, family, and helping others are happier.
Engaging in activities that foster personal growth improves well-being. Examples:
Pursue hobbies
Learn new skills
Practice gratitude and mindfulness
Additional long-term studies with more diverse groups are needed, but the study’s findings suggest good relationships are crucial to well-being regardless of race, gender, or background.
Strong relationships take time. Invest in the people around you and replace cynicism with empathy to get the most from life.
“Good relationships keep us healthier and happier. Period.”

Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don't

Jim Collins

Based on rigorous research, a revelation on how companies achieve enduring greatness.

2.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The author and his research team embarked on a five-year study to identify the factors behind the transition from a good company to a great one.
“Good is the enemy of great. And that is one of the key reasons why we have so little that becomes great. We don't have great schools, principally because we have good schools. We don't have great government, principally because we have good government. Few people attain great lives, in large part because it is just so easy to settle for a good life.”
The great companies were chosen by their sustained success, with average stock returns 6.9 times the general market over 15 years. They were each compared against another company in their sectors with similar resources but average or below average returns.
Great companies have Level 5 leaders during critical transitions.
Level 5 is the highest level in the hierarchy of executive capabilities.
They embody a mix of humility and strong will, and prioritize the company's success over personal ambition.
They foster their successors' success, while many egocentric lower-level leaders often set up their successors for failure.
They exhibit a relentless drive for sustained results and credit success outwardly but accept blame internally.
They often attribute their success to luck, not personal greatness.
They are often internally promoted employees. Outside flashy celebrity leaders commonly fail.
Great companies assemble the right team first, everything else comes later.
“First who… then what.”
Prioritize getting the right people before determining the direction.
Don’t hire if there’s any doubt.
“Letting the wrong people hang around is unfair to all the right people, as they inevitably find themselves compensating for the inadequacies of the wrong people. Worse, it can drive away the best people.”
Great companies don’t rely on layoffs/restructuring as much as other companies.
Assign your best people the biggest opportunities, not the biggest problems.
Compensation is not linked to success.
The right team has more to do with personality traits than knowledge and skills.
Great companies face the facts, no matter how brutal.
Great companies face similar challenges as others, but they approach them differently by directly confronting their realities.
Foster a culture of open communication. Lead with questions, not demands.
Conduct blame-free autopsies and establish effective warning systems.
Maintain absolute faith while confronting harsh realities (Stockdale Paradox).
The team should be self-motivated. A leader’s job is to not de-motivate them by ignoring facts.
“The moment a leader allows himself to become the primary reality people worry about, rather than reality being the primary reality, you have a recipe for mediocrity, or worse. This is one of the key reasons why less charismatic leaders often produce better long-term results than their more charismatic counterparts.”
Great companies follow the Hedgehog Concept.
The name comes from the Greek parable: “The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing.”
The one big thing is derived from the intersection of three circles: Circle one: What are you passionate about? Circle two: What are you the best in the world at? Circle three: What drives your economic engine?
The Hedgehog Concept is not a strategy, it’s an understanding.
Finding your one big thing is an iterative process. On average, it took four years for great companies to develop their Hedgehog Concept.
Great companies are disciplined.
Sustained success relies on cultivating a culture of discipline aligned with the Hedgehog Concept, fostering a system where bureaucracy isn't necessary.
“The purpose of bureaucracy is to compensate for incompetence and lack of discipline.”
Reject opportunities outside the three circles. Organizations adhering closely to their circles actually find more growth opportunities.
“‘Stop doing’ lists are more important than ‘to do’ lists.”
Great companies approach new technologies thoughtfully.
Prioritize technology that aligns with your Hedgehog Concept. Be a pioneer in carefully selected applications. Avoid irrelevant trends.
Technology is an accelerator of momentum, not a creator.
80% of interviewed executives did not mention technology as a top five factor for success.
Evidence does not support the idea that outdated technology causes decline or mediocrity. It is never the primary cause.
“Mediocrity results first and foremost from management failure, not technological failure.”
“Crawl, walk, run.”
Great companies operate like a flywheel.
Sustainable success follows a predictable pattern of slow buildup of hard work, and then breakthrough, like pushing a giant flywheel.
Successful transformations seem abrupt externally, but they unfold organically and gradually internally.
Achieving alignment and motivation primarily stems from results and momentum, not the other way around.
Lesser companies try to skip the buildup and jump to breakthrough, then lurch back and forth when disappointed, creating a doom loop.

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

Angela Duckworth

Renowned psychologist reveals the key to achieving long-term success through passion, perseverance, and determination.

2.3 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Grit encompasses perseverance, passion, and unwavering commitment to long-term objectives.
The author, a professor and a psychologist, noticed her best students didn’t necessarily have the highest IQs, and many of the students with the highest IQs were performing poorly. This led her to question the role of innate ability and success.
Research shows that although we claim to value hard work, we have a bias towards natural talent.
Surveys in the United States reveal that around 66% of respondents believe hard work is crucial for success.
In a study with musicians, when they listened to two piano recordings -- one attributed to natural talent and the other to years of hard work -- the musicians overwhelmingly chose the supposedly talented musician even though the recordings were from the same piece by the same musician.
Effort not only leads to skill but also to results, making it twice as important as talent.
Talent * Effort = Skill
Skill * Effort = Results
“As much as talent counts, effort counts twice.”
The author developed the Grit Scale, which is a questionnaire that measures your grit.
Athletes, even if naturally talented, must dedicate themselves to practice and skill development to succeed.
John Irving, an award-winning writer, overcame his dyslexia and poor grades in school through sheer effort and working twice as hard as his contemporaries.
Mozart practiced 8 hours a day as a child.
Research shows the top performers in spelling bees didn’t have the highest verbal IQs. However, they measured the highest in grit.
The talent mindset can result in a narcissistic and unproductive work culture. At Enron, the emphasis on appearing smart fueled competitiveness and short-term gains, neglecting long-term growth and commitment. Enron's extreme practice of annually firing the lowest-performing 15% perpetuated a culture that rewarded deception and discouraged integrity.
It is important to have long-term goals to inspire you. It is even more important to incorporate small daily tasks to help sustain effort and progress towards the larger aspirations.
Without setting and pursuing small incremental daily targets (e.g., make 9/10 free throws everyday, if you want to be a basketball player), the ultimate objective will remain elusive.
Research shows that people are happiest when their work involves their personal interests. However, today's generation often holds impractical beliefs about finding a perfect match, whether in careers or relationships.
It is important to practice deliberately and intelligently, where specific goals and close attention to details are maintained. Merely putting in long hours of practice on autopilot without strategy can lead to disappointing results.
Finding meaning or purpose in your work can be a powerful motivator.
Research suggests that viewing your work as a calling to help others leads to greater happiness.
“Three bricklayers are asked: ‘What are you doing?’ The first says, ‘I am laying bricks.’ The second says, ‘I am building a church.’ The third says, ‘I am building the house of God.’ The first bricklayer has a job. The second has a career. The third has a calling.”
To ensure future success, teachers and parents should prioritize rewarding hard work over natural talent.
“Knowledge is Power” is a school program in which teachers are encouraged to reward students for hard work (e.g., complimenting students by calling them good learners instead of saying “you’re a natural”). The program showed significant academic improvements among participants.
Research suggests that a two-year commitment to a specific activity improves children’s grit.
Research indicates that when teachers focus on ranking students based on grades, children tend to adopt a fixed intelligence mindset (i.e., “I can’t improve due to my limitations”) and prefer safe, unchallenging tasks. Similarly, parents should avoid associating low grades with inherent intelligence and instead instill in children the value of hard work.
Finland, known for its long winters and historical challenges, embraces the concept of grit, or "sisu" in Finnish, which has become an integral part of their culture.
Research shows that 83% of Finnish people believe grit is a learned trait rather than an innate quality.
Surrounding yourself with gritty people. Exposure to people who model passion, perseverance, and determination can influence and motivate you. Their grit can rub off on you.

Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies

Jared Diamond

A Pulitzer Prize-winning book that explains how geography and environmental factors shaped the modern world.

1.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The book's title refers to how societies conquered others -- with guns, germs, and steel.
Environmental, not biological factors shaped the differences between societies.
Eurasia (Asia, Europe, and North Africa) had incidental environmental traits that helped its people achieve dominance.
Factors of Eurasia’s dominance include the development of advanced knowledge, centralized governments, and resilience to infectious diseases, which were all affected by the environment.
Eurasia had environmental advantages that aided food production.
Eurasia had more domesticable plants because of its climate.
The ideal plants of the Fertile Crescent (modern-day Middle East) enabled the earliest independent plant domestication in the world.
Eurasia had the most domesticable animals due to its large land area and ecology.
13 out of the 14 ancient animals suitable for domestication were all in Eurasia.
Eurasia lost fewer domesticable animal candidates to extinction than other continents.
Eurasia's east-west axis resulted in insignificant seasonal differences, which enabled crops and animals to spread more easily than north-south axes. Crops can better survive in locations of similar climates, and climates do not differ as much when traveling from east to west, but can change drastically when traveling from north to south.
Eurasia had less ecological barriers like rainforests and desserts to prevent the spread of agriculture.
Eurasia had inherent advantages to help the spread of knowledge.
Eurasia's early agricultural advantages enabled it to support large population densities, which led to the development of specializations (e.g., craftsmen, scholars, soldiers), which led to the invention of written language -- a crucial element in spreading information.
Hunter-gatherer societies were mostly occupied with finding food for survival.
Eurasia was by far the largest continent, and its substantial habitable area is more suited for large populations than other continents.
Similar to plants, humans are unsuited for extreme weather differences, so Eurasia's east-west orientation and paucity in geographic obstructions better enabled people to migrate across the continent. People carried their ideas with them, diffusing knowledge.
Eurasia had the advantage of centralized governments.
As a result of Eurasia's larger populations, there were more conflicts between its people, and thus required a more sophisticated and centralized governance.
Eurasia societies had a need to coordinate complex projects (e.g., irrigation systems, warehouses) to support its agriculture.
By appealing to a powerful authority or a religious entity, centralized governments were better at organizing large-scale projects and waging wars, and thus became more commonplace in Eurasia.
Eurasia became immune to infectious diseases earlier.
Eurasia’s high population and food production methods resulted in people’s close contact with domesticated animals which enabled microbes to transfer to humans.
Dense Eurasian cities allowed diseases to spread rapidly.
Epidemics conferred genetic immunity to Eurasian survivors and their children.
Eurasians carried deadly germs to other continents and decimated native populations.
Archaeologists believe up to 95% of Native Americans died from diseases like smallpox brought by Europeans after Columbus's arrival.

The Happiness Project

Gretchen Rubin

An exploration of the author's year-long journey to find happiness and offers practical tips and insights on how to live a more fulfilling life.

3.7 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Aristotle declared happiness as the “chief good” in life. The author delved into research and personal experience to explore the many facets of happiness and ways to enhance it.
The author launched her own happiness project, dedicating each month of the year to different areas of life. She found that social relationships, time management, perspective, money, and vitality were key factors in boosting happiness.
Through small, constructive steps such as exercise, better time management, and a more balanced life, the author was able to reduce negative feelings and improve her overall happiness. She learned that it is often our own actions (complaining, hoarding, gossiping, etc.) that make us unhappy, and by changing certain habits, one can be happier.
Concrete goals are more effective than abstract ideas like “be happy”.
Repeat general guidelines and instructions to yourself for motivation. Some examples are:
“Do it now!”
“People notice your mistakes less than you think.”
“You don’t have to be good at everything.”
“Change your life without changing your life.” Small steps and moments of happiness are more important than radical changes. Aim to become a little happier and more satisfied with your life rather than drastically altering it.
Energy is the main source of happiness. When we have energy, we feel good and we want to do more things that will make us even happier.
Sleep, diet, and activity are crucial to maintain healthy energy levels. Lack of sleep hurts our metabolism and immune system. Light and activity boost the production of happiness chemicals (serotonin and dopamine).
The author kept a food diary to become more mindful of her diet, which helped her change her habits and eliminate bad feelings.
Remove physical and mental clutter. Getting rid of items you don’t need and crossing tasks off from your to-do list will feel satisfying and energize you.
Happy people have lasting relationships, and vice versa, lasting relationships make people happy.
There are two fundamental rules to relationships:
You can’t change your partner. You can only improve yourself.
What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.
The author felt happier and improved her relationship with her husband when she reduced her complaints, stopped imposing her negative feelings onto her partner, and acted more agreeable in general.
French author Pierre Reverdy said that there’s no such thing as love, there are only proofs of love. Showing kind gestures frequently without expecting anything in return will make both parties happier.
Negative actions impact us more deeply than positive actions. Studies show that it takes five positive actions to offset a negative action.
Don’t focus on the little mistakes others make, constantly examine the way you treat your partner, and avoid taking each other for granted.
Many people say their children are their greatest source of happiness.
The author knows that children bring happiness in the long term and decided to be more tender and playful with her two daughters. She resolved to control her emotional outbursts directed at her children and to refrain from scolding them. Her strategy was to find humor in everyday challenges and to act happily to infect herself with a good mood.
When you act happy, you are happy.
She acknowledged her children's feelings (e.g., using phrases like “I know this is tough…”) and took time to engage in time-consuming arts and crafts projects or long games with them. Spending leisure time with her children was conducive to happiness and helped her drop a lot of stress in her everyday life. Getting along better with her children also made her happier in general and rid her of the feeling that she was an uncaring mother.
Friendship is a crucial aspect of a happy life. It's common to feel guilty and disappointed about not having enough time for our friends, but we need to dedicate time for our social life.
Generosity is a significant source of happiness. The author found that small gestures, like helping friends clean out their closets, can bring joy to both parties.
The best way to be happy is to make others happy. The best way to make others happy is to be happy yourself.
Work and happiness are interconnected as work provides social ties, value, growth, self-confidence, and recognition.
Pursuing your passion, meeting goals, and taking on new challenges at work can stimulate and excite you, and thus bring happiness.
It is the small moments of successes, rather than achieving the ultimate goal, that make us happiest in our work.
Having free time for leisure activities is an important factor in happiness. It's important to engage in activities that you truly enjoy, even if they may not be considered "cultivated" or "creative."
Seeking out new hobbies and keeping a diary of what you enjoy can help you discover new things to do. The author found happiness in taking up collage making, starting a children's literature reading group, and collecting bluebird figures. Having a collection can bring happiness through the process of finding and acquiring items, and the memories they evoke.
Similar to health, money alone doesn't bring happiness, but not having to worry about it makes life much easier.
Research shows that buying things only brings us happiness temporarily, as we get used to the purchases, our happiness quickly regresses to previous levels.
The author believes it's okay to indulge in modest splurges occasionally as long as they provide added value or generate a feeling of growth. However, buying too many unnecessary things can lead to clutter and burden you. It's important to consciously choose purchases that make our lives more pleasant.
Studies show that spiritual people are happier, healthier, and can handle stress better.
The author found inspiration in contemplating eternity and death, which led her to become more aware of both her existence and transience. She kept a "one-sentence" diary, updated her last will and testament, and integrated small meditation sessions into her daily routine (e.g., while waiting for the bus).
Gratitude makes us happy. The author keeps a gratitude notebook to appreciate the happiest moments of each day.
The awareness of having only one finite life enables us to appreciate the happiness of every moment more intensely.
The author was inspired to be more mindful by the Dalai Lama's book, The Art of Happiness. Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment instead of dwelling on the past or future. It helped her become more aware of her thoughts and actions, and prevented emotional outbursts.
The author experimented with other techniques to expand her consciousness, such as listening to hypnosis tapes and attending a laughter yoga course, which helped her become more aware of happiness-boosting activities.

The Hard Thing About Hard Things: Building a Business When There Are No Easy Answers

Ben Horowitz

Unfiltered wisdom from Silicon Valley's best and a no-nonsense guide to creating a successful business.

4.4 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The author's upbringing in Berkeley, California, surrounded by a diverse group of friends, instilled in him the importance of perspective.
While at Columbia University, studying computer science, Horowitz immersed himself in the burgeoning hip-hop scene, resonating with its portrayal of ambition and struggle.
Working at Netscape with fellow genius Marc Andreessen, Horowitz witnessed the transformative power of the internet through the success of Mosaic, the first web browser. This experience, coupled with his time at America Online, solidified his belief in the internet's potential to revolutionize businesses. Recognizing the need for cloud computing in the late 1990s, Horowitz joined forces with Andreessen to co-found Loudcloud, the first cloud computing company.
Seeking rapid growth, Ben Horowitz and Marc Andreessen secured millions for Loudcloud during the dot-com bubble. However, the company's rapid expansion soon collided with the market crash, leaving them desperately seeking funding. With limited options, Horowitz took the controversial step of taking Loudcloud public despite its lack of IPO readiness, guided by his mentor Bill Campbell.
Facing bankruptcy and the aftermath of 9/11, Horowitz made the unpopular decision to sell Loudcloud while retaining its cloud software, Opsware. This "wartime CEO" approach, focused on survival above all else, saved the company but required Horowitz to explain his controversial actions to his employees.
With Opsware separated from Loudcloud and plagued by issues, Horowitz released it anyway to learn from its flaws. He saved a critical contract by offering unexpected value beyond Opsware's core functionality.
To turn Opsware into a winning product, Horowitz challenged his engineers to identify an unmet need, and this led them to automate networks.
The company’s focus, combined with rising cloud computing adoption, led to a successful sale to Hewlett Packard for $1.65 billion, marking a rare success story amidst the dot-com bubble burst.
“The hard thing isn’t setting a big, hairy, audacious goal. The hard thing is laying people off when you miss the big goal. The hard thing isn’t hiring great people. The hard thing is when those “great people” develop a sense of entitlement and start demanding unreasonable things. The hard thing isn’t setting up an organizational chart. The hard thing is getting people to communicate within the organization that you just designed. The hard thing isn’t dreaming big. The hard thing is waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat when the dream turns into a nightmare.”
Every CEO dreams of building a successful, world-changing company and getting rich, but inevitably faces crises and setbacks ranging from the macro (e.g., market crashes) to the micro (e.g., poor hiring decisions) that challenge those dreams. This conflict between aspirations and reality that all CEOs encounter is dubbed The Struggle. Though draining, The Struggle is where greatness can emerge.
Problems are inevitable, dwelling on them is unproductive. The CEO's role is to find creative solutions and move forward, not be paralyzed by past mistakes or future uncertainties.
Racecar drivers concentrate on the road ahead rather than all the surrounding hazards. To conquer their own psychological struggles as a leader, a CEO should mimic racecar drivers and learn to focus on solutions, not distractions.
Transparency breeds trust. Open and preemptive communication about company challenges fosters a healthier work environment and empowers employees to be honest as well.
Positivity delusion refers to the misconception that employees require insulating from harsh realities.
Layoffs are difficult and CEOs should own their responsibility for hiring errors.
Announce layoffs immediately to minimize anxiety and speculation. Delaying inevitable layoffs creates uncertainty and damages trust.
Treat departing employees fairly by offering generous severance packages and positive references. This fosters goodwill, eases the transition for departing employees, and helps future recruitment.
Don’t sugarcoat the layoffs. Take ownership and acknowledge that the company failed the employees by necessitating layoffs. Explain that the company missed its goals, requiring difficult decisions like reducing staffing.
“If you are going to eat sh*t, don’t nibble.”
Do not publicly berate anyone.
We all have a natural tendency to lie to ourselves to avoid painful truths, thus businesses often shy away from confronting problems head-on. However, CEOs must embrace the reality that complex issues rarely have easy solutions. Difficult decisions and hard work are the path to progress.
Ultimately, stakeholders only care about results, not the CEO's effort or the pain endured in making difficult choices. Excuses are irrelevant. Delivering results is everything.
People are a company's greatest asset. CEOs should hire for strengths rather than lack of weaknesses, seeking people with abilities the company particularly requires even if they have flaws.
“Take care of the people, the products, and the profits -- in that order.”
There are two dangerous mismatches when hiring executives.
Rhythm mismatch: For example, a large company executive's habit of waiting for instructions rather than showing initiative will clash with the fast-paced environment of a startup.
Skillset mismatch: For example, startup success requires adept hiring, domain expertise, creative process-building, and identifying new opportunities, whereas large organizations prioritize complex decision-making, communication, and organizational design.
Training and clarity around expectations and performance are essential for both employees and executives, noting that those from large companies may struggle in smaller ones.
“A lot of companies think their employees are so smart that they require no training. That’s silly.”
“Sometimes an organization doesn’t need a solution; it just needs clarity.”
Careful hiring and HR processes are essential to ensure management quality.
CEOs, executives and managers must give and receive constructive feedback regularly.
Sh*t sandwich: a guideline to provide feedback where the unpleasant criticism is sandwiched between positive comments. Seniors may find this method insincere.
Though some conflict is inevitable, screening for team-oriented ambition during hiring helps prevent selfish power-seeking behavior.
Clear job titles, descriptions, examples, and promotion processes minimize internal politics.
Hire for specific and immediate needs, not projected ones, to ensure efficient scaling and avoid unnecessary talent costs.
The CEO role is emotionally demanding, requiring resilience strategies to withstand continual pressures, unpopular decisions, and flexible thinking when problems have unclear solutions.
“Whenever I meet a successful CEO, I ask them how they did it. Mediocre CEOs point to their brilliant strategic moves or their intuitive business sense or a variety of other self-congratulatory explanations. The great CEOs tend to be remarkably consistent in their answers. They all say, ‘I didn’t quit.’”
Great CEOs are not born, but cultivated.
Great CEOs excel at two crucial things: finding the right direction for their company and inspiring everyone to follow. They do this by articulating a compelling vision, communicating with authenticity and motivation, and driving execution with decisiveness and conviction.
Two leadership styles exist for CEOs: Ones and Twos. Ones prefers to make big decisions and define the path, while Twos excel at implementation. Both types benefit from developing skills outside their comfort zones to achieve true leadership mastery.
Companies face two distinct environments: peaceful growth or wartime survival.
Peacetime CEOs focus on enhancing existing advantages and encouraging creativity (e.g, Google lets employees use 20% of time for independent projects, sometimes they turn into full Google products).
Wartime CEOs make decisive pivots and fight for survival in the face of threats (e.g., Andy Grove saved Intel by pivoting the company from semiconductors to microprocessing in dire times).
“What’s the secret to being a successful CEO? Sadly, there is no secret, but if there is one skill that stands out, it’s the ability to focus and make the best move when there are no good moves.”
Though different personalities can succeed, effective CEOs are strong leaders, performing under pressure with courage to set direction, making tough calls, aligning the organization behind decisions, and achieving results.
CEOs should encourage creativity and not over-emphasizing accountability at the expense of innovation.
Selling your company requires navigating emotional and rational hurdles. Every situation is different, but in general, you should not sell if you have an early lead in a sizable market you can still dominate.

Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis

J.D. Vance

A personal analysis of poverty and upward mobility of white working-class Americans.

4 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Despite the JD’s working-class Appalachian background and family struggles with poverty, addiction, and domestic violence, he achieved upward mobility against the odds.
JD states the goal of the memoir is not to showcase his own success, but to provide insight into the lived experiences and psychological impacts of poverty.
Hillbillies descend from Scots-Irish Americans who migrated to the U.S. in the 18th and 19th centuries. For them, "poverty is the family tradition" and few earn college degrees.
Although JD spent childhood in Middletown, Ohio, where many hillbilly families worked in steel mills, he identifies Jackson, Kentucky, where his grandparents lived, as his true home.
As a child, JD soaked in stories that glorified hillbilly values like loyalty, honor, and justice.
In one story, one man insulted his Uncle Pet’s mother, so Uncle Pet beat him unconscious and cut him up with an electric saw.
Hillbillies in the Appalachian region face rampant drug addiction and largely consume unhealthy sugary diets.
JD's grandparents married as teenagers in 1947 and moved from Kentucky to Ohio for a better life.
Many worked in coal mines. Papaw (grandpa) worked at Armco Steel.
Mamaw and Papaw had three kids, including JD’s mother Bev and Aunt Wee.
Papaw drank heavily, Mamaw scorned it, and domestic violence erupted often, culminating when Mamaw lit Papaw on fire as he slept. Aunt Wee, 11 at the time, saved him. Papaw eventually quit drinking years later.
“Like everyone else in our family, they could go from zero to murderous in a f**king heartbeat.”
Children who witness domestic violence face higher odds of difficult lives themselves.
Aunt Wee overcame turbulent childhoods but his mother Bev struggled with addiction and unstable relationships.
Bev birthed JD amidst a second failing marriage then married Bob Hamel, bringing fleeting stability in which JD attended school and discovered his interest in reading.
“In my immature brain, I didn’t understand the difference between intelligence and knowledge. So I assumed I was an idiot.”
Though flawed, Bev and Mawmaw valued education and worked to pass that belief to her children.
Mamaw and Papaw lived nearby and were a huge part of JD’s childhood, but when Bev and Bob moved the family away to gain more autonomy, JD lost daily access to his beloved grandparents, his best friends.
Bev and Bob fought frequently, often throwing plates during disagreements. The chaotic homelife affected JD’s performance at school and kept him and his sister (Lindsay) awake late at night.
Bob discovered that Bev had an affair. Bev attempted suicide by driving into a pole after Bob asked for a divorce. Mamaw thought Bev wasn’t really trying to kill herself but just wanted to divert the attention away from the affair.
JD, Lindsay, and Bev moved back even closer to the grandparents after the suicide attempt. Bev continued her irresponsible behavior and pattern of unstable relationships.
During one argument Bev was having with JD in the car, Bev threatened to crash and kill them both. JD escaped and ran into a stranger’s home and police were called. Bev was arrested and trialed for domestic violence. JD lied to protect Bev and to secure an agreement to live with his grandparents whenever he wanted.
When Pawpaw died, Mamaw showed a rare instance of emotional vulnerability. Bev was devastated and emphasized to her children that they have no right to be sadder than her because Papaw was her father.
Bev became addicted to prescription drugs, arrested for attacking her new husband, and was admitted to a rehab center. During this time, JD relied on Lindsay, who was still in high school, for support.
Later, JD went to live with his born-again Christian biological father Don, drawn to the stability of his religious rules despite Don's past history of abuse. However, feeling unable to relax there, JD spent the summer with Mamaw, though ultimately moved back with a newly sober Bev to avoid overburdening his grandmother.
In high school, Bev's addiction and relationships continued. After years of fruitlessly supporting her recovery, JD moved permanently in with Mamaw. His grades and discipline improved, and avoided drugs and alcohol unlike most of his peers. JD even got into Ohio State University, but JD felt unprepared and decided to join the Marines.
Though she encouraged JD to go to OSU, Mamaw still supported JD through Marine boot camp. His experience as a marine transformed him and gave him confidence and self-agency.
Mamaw died right before his deployment to the 2005 Iraq War, leaving him truly independent for the first time.
When JD returned, he completed his OSU degree in less than two years while working multiple jobs. Then he was accepted to Yale Law School.
At Yale, JD met his future wife Usha, who helped him navigate his life among the mostly wealthy and elite.
JD found himself still drawn back to support his troubled community.
Once, he had to travel back to Middletown to pay for his mother's motel after her fifth husband kicked her out for using heroin.
“For those of us lucky enough to live the American Dream, the demons of the life we left behind continue to chase us.”
JD embraces the responsibility to help other youth facing similar demons manage upward mobility.
JD uses personal anecdotes to argue that a lack of work ethic and welfare recipients’ rejection of personal accountability as reasons for Appalachia’s poverty and rightward political swing.
“People talk about hard work all the time in places like Middletown. You can walk through a town where 30% of the young men work fewer than twenty hours a week and find not a single person aware of his own laziness.”
“Psychologists call it ‘learned helplessness’ when a person believes, as I did during my youth, that the choices I made had no effect on the outcomes in my life.”
“Whenever people ask me what I’d most like to change about the white working class, I say, ‘The feeling that our choices don’t matter.’”
“There is no group of Americans more pessimistic than working-class whites. Well over half of blacks, Latinos, and college-educated whites expect that their children will fare better economically than they have. Among working-class whites, only 44% share that expectation.”
“I don't know what the answer is, precisely, but I know it starts when we stop blaming Obama or Bush or faceless companies and ask ourselves what we can do to make things better.”
JD believes that the best way to construct paths to upward mobility is not through policy changes, but societal and cultural shifts that encourage family, religion, and education.
“Religious folks are much happier. Regular church attendees commit fewer crimes, are in better health, live longer, make more money, drop out of high school less frequently, and finish college more frequently than those who don’t attend church at all.”
“Social mobility isn’t just about money and economics, it’s about a lifestyle change. The wealthy and the powerful aren’t just wealthy and powerful; they follow a different set of norms and mores. When you go from working-class to professional-class, almost everything about your old life becomes unfashionable at best or unhealthy at worst.”

How Not to Die

Michael Greger and Gene Stone

“Discover the Foods Scientifically Proven to Prevent and Reverse Disease”

4.3 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

A poor diet is identified as the leading cause of premature death, often overlooked by the medical industry.
Many individuals are living longer but not necessarily healthier lives. Autopsy studies reveal that a significant number of people who lived past 100 died from diseases rather than old age, despite appearing healthy.
The primary culprit of unnatural deaths is the typical American diet, high in meat, dairy, eggs, and processed foods, which increases the risks of heart disease, diabetes, and other chronic ailments.
The American medical profession lacks nutritional knowledge, with only a quarter of medical schools offering a nutrition course, showing a decline over the past few decades. Efforts to introduce nutritional training for physicians have faced opposition, and doctors are often inclined to prescribe drugs rather than address dietary issues.
Due to the influence of the medical industry, the United States accounts for one-third of all prescription medication spending in the world, and around 70% of Americans take prescription drugs regularly.
Research shows that individuals who transitioned from being vegetarians for 12 years to consuming meat once a week experienced a decrease in life expectancy by 3.6 years.
Cultures following plant-based diets exhibit significantly lower disease rates compared to modern American society.
The comprehensive long-term China-Cornell-Oxford Project studied the dietary habits of rural Chinese populations and found an inverse relationship between plant-based diets and the prevalence of heart disease.
In Guizhou province, where animal-based food consumption was minimal, no deaths among men under 65 were attributed to coronary disease.
The human body has remarkable self-healing capabilities under favorable conditions. Within approximately 15 years of quitting smoking, a person can have lungs as healthy as if they had never smoked.
Plant-based diets can reverse diseases. Medical researchers placed patients with advanced heart disease on plant-based diets, aiming to slow disease progression. Remarkably, the patients didn't just experience a slowdown in heart disease but witnessed a reversal of the disease, including the dissolution of arterial plaque.
US healthcare prefers to prescribe medications rather than promote dietary changes, despite the potential risks and side effects associated with drugs.
Fruits, particularly berries, play a crucial role in boosting the immune system and fighting cancer, and preventing liver and brain diseases. Research suggests that a healthy diet with four daily servings of fruit, including berries, can have significant health benefits.
Fruits, due to its rich antioxidant content, improve lung function and decrease the risk of Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD). The antioxidants present in fruits help limit cellular damage and reduce inflammation in the body.
Avoid fruit juice. It has high amounts of added sugar, increasing the risk of conditions like type-2 diabetes. Natural sugar in fruits does not pose the same health risks as added sugars and can balance insulin spikes caused by high-glycemic index foods (e.g., white bread). The fiber, antioxidants, and phytonutrients (chemical compounds that help to resist fungi, bacteria and plant virus infections) in fruits can counteract the negative effects of fructose.
Berries are second only to herbs and spices as the most antioxidant-rich foods. A serving of blackberries has more than 10 times the units of antioxidants than a serving of apples.
Research shows that consuming a variety of vegetables contributes to preventing life-threatening diseases and promoting longevity.
Whole vegetables, in contrast to processed ones, have been found to protect cellular telomeres, which are nucleotide "caps" that safeguard DNA as cells divide and age. Certain vegetables like broccoli and cabbage can enhance liver and lung function while reducing the risk of lymphoma and prostate cancer.
In a ten-day experiment, a group of smokers who consumed 25 times more broccoli than the average American showed 41% fewer DNA mutations in their blood compared to the smokers who did not eat broccoli.
Kale reduces cholesterol levels. A study involving men with high cholesterol found that drinking three to four shots of kale juice daily for three months led to a significant reduction in bad cholesterol and an increase in good cholesterol.
Consume five servings of vegetables each day. Two being leafy greens like kale, arugula, and chard. One being cruciferous vegetables like broccoli, cabbage, or cauliflower. The remaining two servings being vegetables like carrots, beets, and mushrooms.
Cruciferous vegetables contain sulforaphane, a potentially powerful anti-inflammatory and cancer-fighting molecule. These vegetables are best consumed raw since heat can destroy the enzyme that activates sulforaphane.
Dark leafy greens contain the most nutrients per calorie among all foods. Blend them in a smoothie if you don’t like them.
A serving of beans or legumes is recommended with every meal. They lower bad cholesterol and provide animal-free protein along with other benefits like fiber.
Non-processed beans are preferred (e.g., tempeh, whole beans) over processed beans (e.g., tofu).
Lentils regulate blood sugar levels and offer prebiotics that benefit digestion.
Canned beans are fine as long as they have low sodium.
Whole grains reduce the risks of heart disease, type-2 diabetes, obesity and strokes. Research shows that people live longer when they eat whole grains.
The more colorful the grain, the more antioxidants it contains.
Products labeled “multi-grain” or “stone-ground” are not whole grains.
One global research shows that insufficient consumption of nuts and seeds is the third leading dietary risk for death and disability.
A serving of brazil nuts can lower cholesterol levels more effectively than statins.
Nuts and seeds contain phytates, which reduce the risk of colorectal cancer and increase bone density.
Research shows people don’t gain weight from nuts and seeds despite their high calorie count. The body doesn’t absorb all of the fat and the nuts boost metabolism.
Chia, hemp, pumpkin, sesame, and sunflower are good examples of healthy seeds. You can incorporate seeds into salad dressings and sauces.
Walnuts are one of the most nutritious nuts and have lots of omega-3. Pistachios can serve as a substitute for Viagra.
Herbs and spices combat diseases (especially cancer), and contain the most antioxidants of all food groups.
A study found saffron improves cognitive functions.
Spices like cloves, cinnamon, oregano, and nutmeg inhibit monoamine oxidase, an enzyme that can trigger depression.
Black pepper helps with turmeric absorption. Both black pepper and turmeric are widely used in Indian curry powder, that’s potentially why Indian women have much lower rates of colorectal cancer and lung cancer (10x and 17x, respectively) than US women.
People with gallstones and kidney stones should be cautious with turmeric consumption, as it can stimulate the gallbladder and contain oxalates that may contribute to kidney stone formation.
Aim for at least five 12-ounce servings of daily beverages.
Water is the best beverage choice for overall health, and it should be the primary source of hydration.
Water can be obtained from various sources, including fruits and vegetables.
Coffee, when consumed in moderation, can have positive effects on the liver and brain. Drinking more than two cups of coffee per day is associated with a reduced risk of chronic liver issues and suicide.
Tea, particularly hibiscus tea, has shown medicinal benefits, such as lowering blood pressure in prehypertensive patients.
Soda, beer, and milk are not recommended. Milk has links to prostate cancer.
Moderate alcohol consumption (one drink per day for women, two for men) may have benefits for heart disease if you have a sedentary and unhealthy lifestyle, but it is also correlated with an increased risk of cancer.
Sleep and stress-management are important to maintaining your health.
Being sedentary for six hours or more increases your risk of death by 20%.
America’s sedentary habits is a contributor to two-thirds of adults being overweight and the tripling of childhood obesity in the last 30 years.
The recommended daily exercise duration is 90 minutes of moderate activity (e.g., hiking, fast walking, swimming) or 40 minutes of intense exercise (e.g., basketball, weight training, tennis).

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

David Richo

An exploration of the five hallmarks of love, offering practical advice to improve relationships.

2.7 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

“Most people think of love as a feeling but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.”
The five A’s central to every loving relationship:
Attention: listen mindfully to their motions, needs, and stories.
Acceptance: acceptance of who you are and who they are with no need to hide parts of ourselves.
Appreciation: value each other’s strengths and limitations, and support each other’s goals.
Affection: show they’re loved through hugs, kisses, smiles, etc.
Allow: “allow life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.”
“We feel loved when we receive attention, acceptance, appreciation, and affection, and when we are allowed the freedom to live in accord with our own deepest needs and wishes.”
We are born with the capacity for healthy relationships, but childhood wounds often impair our ability to relate well as adults, requiring inner work to heal and develop relational skills. For most, this involves building a healthy ego foundation while letting go of the neurotic ego that is driven by fear, desire, and the need to control.
Growing up with emotional deprivation and lack of the "five A's" in childhood can leave lasting scars that impact adult relationships. People from unhappy childhoods may tolerate abuse or recreate dysfunctional patterns, as they internalized feelings of being defective instead of recognizing their caregivers' failures.
Healing requires grieving childhood wounds by sharing painful memories with a compassionate listener who can validate one's experiences, allowing healing to begin.
“In healthy intimate relationships we do not seek more than 25% of our nurturance from a partner; we learn to find the rest within ourselves.”
To work through issues, identify your negative thoughts and emotions, sit with them and explore them until your feelings change about them or something deeper is revealed. Then, through mindfulness techniques like meditation, let them go.
To meditate, sit comfortably in a quiet space and focus on your breathing. When thoughts and feelings arise, notice them, accept them for what they are, and then return to focus on your breathing.
Take care of and respect yourself first. Being content with oneself creates openness for the right person.
“Once we love ourselves, people no longer look good to us unless they are good for us.”
Make promises not to change yourself for others and be clear upfront about the level of commitment you want and the values you share.
Relationships evolve through three phases: the initial romance, followed by a period of conflict, before ideally reaching a stage of deeper commitment. Understanding these natural cycles and working through the conflict stage with mutual effort allows couples to move beyond the fleeting passion of romance toward a more grounded, lasting bond.
Our typical fears are engulfment (losing freedom by getting too close) and abandonment (emotional survival if partner leaves).
Face fears by the "Triple-A" approach of admitting fears, allowing oneself to feel them without judgment, and acting as if you don’t have that fear (e.g., being apart from your partner if you fear abandonment).
Not facing your fears will allow them to control you.
“We don’t fear physical closeness because we fear proximity itself. Most of us earnestly want physical contact with those who love us. Rather we fear what we will feel when we get too close. The real fear, then, is of ourselves. This fear is not something to rebuke ourselves for. It is our deepest vulnerability, the very quality that makes us most lovable.”
If partners focus on being right rather than making the relationship work, ego rules the relationship instead of cooperative love. The ego, which represents the individual self, is an obstacle to true intimacy which implies unity. In reality, there is no solid, separate self/ego -- we are all interconnected.
“If you use sarcasm, ridicule, teasing, pinching, tickling, or barbed kidding at times, make a commitment to cease using these passive-aggressive weapons against your partner or anyone.”
The impoverished ego (I’m powerless/it’s someone else’s fault/no one cares about me) feigns humility while the inflated ego (I’m right/perfect) feigns self-respect.
The healthy ego shows authentic self-respect and unconditional love toward others. Loving unconditionally requires mindfully letting go of the ego's demands like fear, entitlement, and need for control.
While ending a relationship is painful, struggling to keep an expired bond alive is ultimately more harmful than letting it go peacefully. Signs it may be time to move on include a lack of happiness, trust, sex, and inability to meet each other's needs for the "five A's" of love.
The healthiest approach to end a relationship is to communicate reasons for parting ways, grieve the loss, and view the ending as an opportunity for personal growth rather than failure.
Committing to a romantic partner by providing the "five A's" teaches us to extend that same loving energy towards other areas of life like work and friendships.

How to Change Your Mind

Michael Pollan

“What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence”

5.7 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The word “psychedelic” was coined in 1957 by Humphry Osmond. It means “mind-manifesting” in Greek.
“One good way to understand a complex system is to disturb it and then see what happens.”
“Compared with other drugs, psychedelics seldom affect people the same way twice, because they tend to magnify whatever’s already going on both inside and outside one’s head.”
“Carl Jung once wrote that it is not the young but people in middle age who need to have an ‘experience of the numinous’ to help them negotiate the second half of their lives.”
Humans have had relationships with psychedelic substances for thousands of years, using them in spiritual and healing practices across various cultures. However, the use of psychedelics (e.g., mushrooms and morning glory seeds by the Aztecs, peyote by Native American tribes) was actively suppressed by the Roman Catholic Church, which viewed it as communion with the devil and a threat to the spread of Christianity. Despite these attempts at eradication, the long history of human psychedelic use suggests they may have played an important role in the development of religion and human consciousness.
“...whether occasioned by drugs or other means, these experiences of mystical consciousness are in all likelihood the primal basis of religion.”
While psychedelic mushrooms have a long history of use, foraging for them in the wild is extremely dangerous and potentially deadly without the guidance of specialists.
Psychedelics can treat society as a whole by promoting greater empathy and connection with others and with nature.
Psychedelics have the power to disrupt societal norms and power structures, which some argue is needed to address pressing issues like the environmental crisis.
Psychedelics can induce "depatterning" -- the disruption of ingrained thought patterns and the stimulation of new creative solutions -- which is crucial for adaptation and survival during times of rapid societal change.
In 1938, Swiss scientist Albert Hofman synthesized the first LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide-25/LSD-25) when trying to create a respiratory and circulatory stimulant from the ergot fungus for pharmaceutical purposes. He accidentally absorbed it five years later and documented its powerful effects.
As medical researchers in the 1940s and 1950s investigated LSD, they initially believed it mimicked psychosis, prompting them to question whether mental illness had a biochemical basis rather than being purely psychological, revolutionizing psychiatric research and leading to widespread experimentation with LSD as a treatment.
While some subjects reported negative experiences, many described positive effects like feelings of transcendence, heightened senses, and new philosophical understandings, leading researchers to consider much broader therapeutic applications (e.g., depression, addiction) for the drug.
Along with LSD, the discovery of psilocybin mushrooms in the 1950s, spurred by R. Gordon Wasson's widely publicized experience with the Mazatec people of Mexico, which became the first popular Western publication on magic mushrooms, brought psychedelics to the attention of researchers and the public, and sparking enthusiasm among the youth.
In the 1950s and 1960s, prestigious American institutions conducted extensive research on psychedelics, publishing over a thousand scientific papers and using them successfully to treat various mental health conditions, until the uncontrolled experiments by prominent Harvard researchers Timothy Leary and Richard Alpert led to their dismissal.
Alpert, who changed his name to Ram Dass, became a major counterculture figure.
Leary advocated for widespread availability of psychedelics to induce a societal shift, leading many youth to reject corporate culture and conscription.
President Richard Nixon called Leary “the most dangerous man in America.”
The socio-cultural effects of psychedelic use, particularly LSD, were perceived as too disruptive, leading the U.S. government to crack down and wage a moral panic against psychedelics, banning their use for research and recreation by the end of the 1960s, despite evidence of their medical potential.
The suppression of psychedelics reflects a fear among power figures that these substances undermine hierarchical control.
Lessons and mistakes from early researchers like Leary are now being applied in the current phase of more rigorous, controlled psychedelic research.
In 2006, a seminal study by neuroscientist Roland Griffiths from Johns Hopkins demonstrated that psychedelics can induce mystical experiences with lasting personal and spiritual significance, helping to reframe them as substances with therapeutic potential beyond just treating mental illness.
Griffiths renewed the scientific dialogue about psychedelics, distinguishing them from toxic and addictive recreational drugs.
Griffiths showed that psychedelics are safe and not toxic if taken correctly, and they have inherent value for human spirituality and well-being.
The study paved the way for the current renaissance in psychedelic research and clinical applications.
The therapeutic value from psychedelics may lie not solely in the brain's chemical reactions, but in the subjective mystical and revelatory experiences produced by the psychedelics.
Psychedelic research from the 1950s to today has had conflicting conclusions, with some studies showing significantly higher success rates than others. A key factor contributing to these disparities is the difference in "set and setting" -- the mindset of the person taking the psychedelic and the environment in which it is taken.
Psychedelic studies are typically conducted in comfortable, tranquil clinical settings with a trained guide to direct the subject's experience and mitigate the risk of a negative "trip." While some have challenged this priming as creating an expectancy effect, researchers argue it is unavoidable for subject safety and aligns with the objective of inducing healing or mystical experiences.
Psychedelic experiences are notoriously difficult for participants to describe, often sounding hallucinatory, dreamlike, spiritual, or cliché. Common descriptions include feelings of communicating with or becoming God, dissolving one's sense of self, realizing death is an illusion, connectedness with nature, and encounters with loved ones.
Psychedelic trips involve vivid sensory experiences, with those in non-clinical settings often perceiving the outer world, especially nature, as particularly beautiful and awe-inspiring.
Pollan presents two possible explanations for psychedelic experiences -- that the chemicals trigger hallucinatory brain activity, or they open our perception to real things we normally don't perceive. Either way, the insights and psychological effects of the experiences are undoubtedly real, regardless of their origin.
Brain scans of people undergoing psychedelic experiences show reduced activity in the "default mode network" responsible for our sense of self and filtering external information. This suppression of the default mode network means the brain is allowing in more unfiltered sensory input, leading to experiences like perceiving colors and music more intensely.
There is a strong correlation between unhappiness and high activity of the default mode network.
Our everyday consciousness is itself a kind of "hallucination," as the brain only lets in and processes a limited set of information necessary for survival. The altered states produced by psychedelics may reveal alternative modes of perception that are normally filtered out, suggesting our typical waking consciousness is just one of many possible ways of experiencing reality.
Psychedelics cause the brain to become more interconnected, with normally independent regions starting to communicate and interact in novel ways. This cross-talk between different brain areas is believed to underlie the altered perceptions, emotions, and insights that people often report during psychedelic experiences, such as synesthesia or vivid hallucinations. The enhanced brain connectivity can lead to transformative insights and a more flexible mindset, potentially helping people break out of unhealthy habits or rigid thinking patterns.
“I think of childhood as the R&D stage of the species, concerned exclusively with learning and exploring. We adults are production and marketing.”
As part of his research, Pollan decided to personally experiment with psychedelics for the first time.
Pollan's own psychedelic trips, involving psilocybin mushrooms, LSD, and 5-MeO-DMT, mirrored the transformative experiences described in the research.
Pollan’s trips led to profound insights, such as feeling a deep connection to nature, processing of emotional issues, being free from fear and judgment, and experiencing a sense of reconciliation with death (of loved ones and his own) and "ego death."
Pollan's major revelation was that consciousness exists beyond one's individual sense of self, and the loss of ego is not inherently frightening, which suggests its benefits of psychedelic therapy for terminally ill patients.
“The usual antonym for the word ‘spiritual’ is ‘material.’ … Now I’m inclined to think a much better and certainly more useful antonym for ‘spiritual’ might be ‘egotistical.’ … When the ego dissolves, so does a bounded conception not only of our self but of our self-interest. What emerges in its place is invariably a broader, more openhearted and altruistic -- that is, more spiritual -- idea of what matters in life. One in which a new sense of connection, or love, however defined, seems to figure prominently.”
Researchers question why plants and fungi evolved to produce mind-altering chemicals, with some proposing a symbiotic relationship where these substances aided early human development.
Ethnobotanist Terence McKenna’s "Stoned Ape Theory" suggests psilocybin mushrooms catalyzed human cognitive evolution and resulted in traits like language and symbolic thought, though the theory is unsubstantiated.
Mycologist Paul Stamets argues the psychoactive compounds are more likely attractants than deterrents, with fungi using humans to spread their spores. This theory is also contested.
Astronauts' profound "overview effects" from seeing Earth in the vastness of space are similar to the perspective-shifting experiences reported by people who have taken psychedelic drugs, which can induce a sense of global interconnectedness and lead to personal growth and insight.
New evidence shows psychedelics have unprecedented success rates (80%) in treating otherwise treatment-resistant mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, addiction, and fear of death.
Terminal patient Patrick Mettes underwent two psilocybin sessions, and had a profound and emotional experience that allowed him to come to terms with the cycle of life and death.
A 2016 London’s Imperial College study involving chronic, treatment-resistant depression patients found that a week-long psilocybin treatment led to an improvement in symptoms in 80% of patients and complete remission of depression in over 60% of patients. The patients stated that psilocybin made them feel more connected to the world.
“A happy brain is a supple and flexible brain, he (neuroscientist Robin Carhart-Harris) believes; depression, anxiety, obsession, and the cravings of addiction are how it feels to have a brain that has become excessively rigid or fixed in its pathways and linkages -- a brain with more order than is good for it.”
As more evidence of psychedelics’ effectiveness in treating mental illnesses emerges, we need to continue to overcome regulatory and financial hurdles to make safe psychedelic therapies widely available.

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Dale Carnegie

“Time-Tested Methods for Conquering Worry”

5.2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The author wrote this book after years of teaching public speaking and human relations classes. He found that a major problem for many adults was worry, and there were no good resources available to help them overcome it. So, he researched the subject extensively by reading philosophers and biographies, interviewing prominent people, and learning from his students' own experiences to create a practical guide for conquering worry.
Worry can be overcome by living one day at a time in “day-tight compartments” instead of dwelling on the past or future. This advice has been given by the likes of Jesus, William Osier, and Edward Evans.
We should focus on making the most of today and handle its tasks one by one, rather than anxiously trying to control things beyond our reach.
“Today is our most precious possession. It is our only sure possession.”
When facing trouble, you can ask what’s the worst that could happen, accept it mentally, and calmly take steps to improve upon it.
A man with terminal ulcers accepted his inevitable death. This empowered him to enjoy his remaining time and led to an unexpected recovery.
Worry and emotional stress can lead to real physical illnesses like ulcers, heart disease, arthritis, tooth decay, thyroid problems, as well as mental health issues.
According to experts, up to 70% of doctor visits are related to issues caused or exacerbated by worry rather than direct physical causes. Yet we fail to protect ourselves from the proven damages of worry, even though controlling our thoughts and emotions can help cure or prevent these health conditions.
“Men who do not know how to fight worry die young.”
You can resolve most of worries by employing the following steps:
Get the facts and analyze the facts. “Half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision."
Write down precisely what you are worrying about. (“What is the problem?”)
Write down what you can do about it. (“What are the possible solutions?”)
Decide what to do. (“What’s the best solution?”)
Start immediately to carry out that decision.
To master conquering worry, develop a deep desire for it, practice principles you learned at every opportunity, and evaluate your progress and mistakes often.
Worry can be crowded out of your mind by finding a purposeful activity and staying busy, as keeping occupied does not allow space for anxiety and other negative emotions to take hold.
A businessman overcame worry by staying ultra-busy. He took on more responsibilities, tackling complex problems until exhaustion. After three months, he returned to a normal schedule, free from his anxieties and insomnia. The constant engagement broke his habit of worrying.
Don’t allow yourself to be upset by small things.
A man survived a 15 hour submarine attack, during which he realized how absurd it is to have worried about the little things in his life like his boss, the scar on his head, and quarrels with his wife.
Apply the law of averages: What are the chances that what you’re worried about will actually happen?
Cooperate with the inevitable. Accept the circumstances that’s beyond your power to change.
Despite facing the daunting prospect of leg amputation at 71, actress Sarah Bernhardt gracefully accepted the inevitable. With composure, she comforted her son and even entertained the medical staff before her surgery. Her resilience allowed her to continue her career and captivate audiences.
Put a “stop-loss” order on your worries. Set a boundary of how much worry a problem may be worth and refuse to give it any more.
Stop-loss: Buying a stock and setting a sell order if it falls below a certain price to prevent excessive losses.
You can’t change the past. Calmly analyze it, learn from it, and focus your energy on the future.
Worrying about the past is like trying to saw sawdust. You won’t get anything useful out of it.
“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step in overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”
Fill your mind with thoughts of happiness, peace, courage, health, and hope. Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.
“Our life is what our thoughts make it.” - Marcus Aurelius
"A man is what he thinks about all day long.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
“What you think, you are.” - Norman Vincent Peale
“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” - Abraham Lincoln
Don’t waste effort on getting even. It hurts you more than them. Don’t waste a minute thinking about people you don’t like.
“When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.”
Don’t fret over ingratitude. Happiness is not from receiving gratitude but from the joy of giving.
Gratitude is cultivated. Express gratitude frequently yourself to set an example for your children.
“Count your blessings, not your troubles.”
Be your authentic self. Don’t try to become someone you are not.
“Envy is ignorance; imitation is suicide.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Nobody is so miserable as he who longs to be somebody and something other than the person he is in body and mind.” - Angelo Patri
Make lemonade when life gives you lemons.
Embrace a positive mindset focused on learning from failures and finding the opportunities rather than wallowing in the mud of self-pity.
“Two men looked out from prison bars, one saw the mud, the other saw stars.”
“If I had not been so great an invalid, I should not have done so much work as I have accomplished." - Charles Darwin
Dostoevsky and Tolstoy’s masterpieces were inspired by their tortured lives.
Forget yourself and your own happiness. Become interested in others and create happiness for others.
“When you are good to others, you are best to yourself.” - Benjamin Franklin
Prayer is a powerful tool for managing worries, even for non-believers. Prayer helps articulate anxieties, creates a sense of connection, and fuels the will to act.
Unwarranted criticism or insults are actually disguised compliments. They’re a result of envy or jealousy.
“Nobody kicks a dead dog.”
When faced with criticism, do the very best you can and then "put up your umbrella" to let it roll off you.
"Never be bothered by what people say, as long as you know in your heart you are right." - Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep a record of foolish things you’ve done and evaluate yourself. Ask for unbiased constructive criticism.
To gain one extra hour to your day, take frequent rests, and rest before you get tired.
Most of our fatigue comes from our mental and emotional attitudes.
“100% of the fatigue of the sedentary worker in good health is due to psychological factors, by which we mean emotional factors.”
To combat fatigue, relax in odd moments, relax completely (mimic a cat), and work in a comfortable position.
“I measure my accomplishments not by how tired I am at the end of the day, but how tired I am not. When I feel particularly tired at the end of the day, or when irritability proves that my nerves are tired, I know beyond question that it has been an inefficient day both as to quantity and quality.”
The death rate from hypertension disease would plummet if we took care to be less tired.
Talk about your anxieties. “Getting it off your chest” works.
Good habits to prevent fatigue and worry:
Keep your desk clear except for items relevant to the immediate task at hand.
Do things in their order of importance.
Solve the problem immediately as soon as you have the necessary info to do so. Don’t delay.
Learn to organize, deputize/delegate, and supervise.
Boredom is a major cause of fatigue, worry, and resentment.
If you find your job dull and you can’t change the job itself, you can change your attitude towards it to one of enthusiasm, and find ways to make it more engaging and fulfilling. This can lead to reduced fatigue, increased happiness, and improved job performance.
Samuel Vauclain was bored with his repetitive factory job, and he turned it into a game by racing a coworker. Eventually his speed and accuracy impressed his supervisor, leading to a series of promotions. Ultimately he became the president of a major company.
Insomnia itself is not dangerous -- successful people like lawyer Samuel Untermyer still thrived with very little sleep -- but worrying about lack of sleep can be extremely damaging to one's health.
Relaxation techniques, prayer, exhausting physical exercise, accepting wakefulness calmly, and avoiding fretting over sleeplessness can often alleviate insomnia more effectively than sedatives.
Since sleep requirements vary widely between individuals and sleep has many mysteries science can't explain, it's best not to obsess about optimal hours slept but simply find what works for you.
Young adults should carefully consider their career options.
Take the time to research thoroughly before committing to a profession. Consider factors like enjoyment, potential, and the job market.
Conduct informational interviews with professionals in your desired field.
Don't limit yourself to one perceived perfect career.
Survey says 70% of our worries are financial. To lessen them:
Budget and spend wisely.
Build credit by any means.
Protect yourself with medical and fire insurance. Have an emergency fund.
Do not pay life insurance in a lump sum. It’ll be spent quickly.
Teach your children fiscal responsibility.
If necessary, have a side gig.
Don’t ever gamble.
Be good to yourself and don’t resent what can’t be changed.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

A practical guide to making your family life less stressful and more rewarding.

1.7 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

To change a child's behavior, acknowledging their feelings is essential. Often, kids misbehave because their feelings are not being heard, and it's important to address them. Ignoring a child's emotions can lead to tantrums and frustration. Acknowledging their feelings by listening and responding appropriately can de-escalate the situation.
Example: “You must be feeling very hungry. You haven’t eaten in a while now. I wish I could magically make a hot dog for you right now.”
It's crucial to be genuine in your response and not dismissive, as children will be able to tell if you’re not truly listening.
When the child is misbehaving, do not resort to demands, threats, or sarcasm, as they’ll worsen the situation. Instead, explain to your child why should behave differently. This will assuage the situation and also empower your child with information so that she can make better decisions willingly on her own.
Example: “When you stay up past your bedtime you will feel very tired the next morning. Then you won’t be able to stay awake and have any fun at school.”
Do not punish your children for bad behavior. Punishment leads to resentment, and more importantly, it does not teach children why what they did was wrong. If they stop the bad behavior, it will be for the wrong reasons.
Instead of punishment, have a dialogue with them to understand each other’s needs and feelings, then brainstorm together to find mutually acceptable solutions. By doing so, you show that the child’s opinions are valued. This can help your child think independently about their behavior and come to a mutual agreement.
Example: “When you come home late I get worried about your safety. I need to know you’re okay because I care about you. What do you think about sending me periodic updates to assure me that you’re safe, if you must stay out late?”
Encourage your children's independence by letting them make their own choices and seek advice from others. If you allow them to become too dependent on you, they might grow up feeling helpless and worthless, which leads to belligerence and frustration.
It may be uncomfortable to watch your child struggle as they find their autonomy. It's important to resist the urge to always step in and save them. By doing so, you're allowing them to grow and become self-sufficient individuals who can make their own decisions. Remember to have patience and let them explore and learn for themselves.
Encourage your children with praises to boost their confidence and self-esteem. Be genuine and specific with your praises so that they don’t feel manipulative or fake.
Example: Instead of “Nice drawing!”, try “I’m very impressed by your drawing. I especially like how you filled in the colors with lines.”
It is crucial that you don’t label your child. Labels are limiting and may cause a child to adapt to the label. If you label your child as violent, she may become more violent. If you call her stubborn, she will happily continue to be stubborn. If you tell her that she’s a slow learner, she’ll accept that as the permanent truth and underperform in school.

How to Talk to Anyone

Leil Lowndes

“92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships”

5.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Techniques to make a good impression without speaking:
#1 Don't immediately smile at someone. Instead, look at them for a moment. Then let a warm smile spread across your face. The brief pause makes your smile more genuine.
#2 Always maintain eye contact.
#3 Maintain eye contact with the individual you want to influence, even when someone else is speaking.
#4 Remind yourself to fix your posture everytime you walk through a door.
#5 When meeting someone new, give them your full attention like you would a smiling child -- turn your body fully toward them and make eye contact.
#6 When meeting someone new, imagine they are an old friend you haven't seen in ages. This will subconsciously soften your expression and body language.
#7 Do not fidget -- it can make you seem dishonest.
#8 While talking, be perceptive of how the other person is reacting. Then adapt what you say based on their response.
#9 Visualize yourself being your best self -- standing tall, smiling warmly, making eye contact, and conversing comfortably. It’ll help you automatically act that way.
Techniques to know what to do and say after introduction:
#10 Observe your listener’s mood and voice, then match them.
#11 Focus on a positive demeanor rather than what you say. 80% of impressions are non-verbal.
#12 Wear or bring something unique. It gives people an excuse to approach you and start a conversation
#13 Ask others to introduce you.
#14 To join a group, stand near and listen for a relevant opening.
#15 When asked where you're from, give an interesting detail that the listener can comment on, not just the name.
# 16 When asked about your job, don't just state your title. Add intriguing details that anyone can relate to or comment on.
#17 When introducing people, provide a conversational hook or a common ground so they have something to talk about.
#18 Listen closely for clues to your conversation partner's interests. Make deductions to discover their preferred subject.
#19 Envision a spotlight over whoever is talking and keep it on your conversation partner by asking them questions. The longer you avoid shining the spotlight on yourself, the more intriguing they'll find you.
#20 Repeat the last few key words your partner says to keep them talking.
#21 Ask others to tell stories you know they love telling.
#22 When first meeting someone, focus on positive aspects of yourself. Keep problems and complaints locked away until you know them better.
#23 Check the news. Knowing current events provides good conversational fodder.
Techniques to talk like a VIP:
#24 Don’t ask “What do you do?”, ask “How do you spend most of your time?”
#25 Craft unique responses for each person based on their background when answering "What do you do?"
#26 Expand your vocabulary by swapping everyday words with more interesting synonyms. Just 50 words can elevate your vocabulary.
#27 Delay the reveal of shared interests to make a stronger impression and showcase confidence, but avoid appearing deceptive by waiting too long.
#28 Begin sentences with "you" for instant engagement. It elicits a positive response as it's about them.
#29 Avoid devaluing your smile by giving everyone the same one. If someone is more significant, offer them an especially warm and personal smile.
#30 Avoid clichés when conversing with successful individuals.
#31 Collect or craft memorable and relevant quotes that are clever or funny for a notable impact.
#32 Speak plainly and avoid euphemisms. Impress people with rich language, not tasteless words.
#33 Don’t make jokes at others' expense.
#34 Consider your audience before sharing news. Deliver it with an expression or tone that suits their potential reaction, not based on your feelings about the news.
#35 When someone repeatedly asks the same unwelcomed question, repeat your previous answer verbatim with the same tone.
#36 When speaking to VIPs, express the pleasure or insight they’ve provided. If you mention their accomplishments, focus on recent ones. Involve any accompanying individuals in the conversation to maintain inclusivity.
#37 When thanking someone, say what you’re thankful for.
Techniques to be an insider:
#38 Engage in unfamiliar activities. A single exposure provides 80% of the lingo and insider knowledge.
#39 Ask others to teach you the jargon of their professions.
#40 Learn about the relevant industry's current issues.
#41 Read magazines of interests relevant to your audience.
#42 Learn about your audiences’ customs and etiquette.
#43 Speak to multiple vendors before making a large purchase to get the best deal.
Techniques to be relatable:
#44 Mirror your audience’s movements and demeanor. This subtle imitation helps establish rapport and comfort.
#45 Echoing is a potent linguistic technique. Repeating the speaker's words forges a connection.
#46 Connect with your audience by using tailored analogies relevant to their interests. E.g. talking to a pilot -- “I hope your idea takes off.”
#47 Use complete sentences to express understanding. E.g., “I see what you mean.” “That’s a wonderful thing to hear.”
#48 Identify how your audience best receives communication -- through seeing, hearing, or feeling. Tailor your approach to match their style.
#49 Establish instant intimacy by using words like "we," "us," and "our".
#50 To bond with someone, recall a shared positive moment from a previous encounter.
Techniques to praise genuinely:
#51 Share indirect praise often. Overheard compliments hold more charm and are less sycophantic than direct ones.
#52 Be a bearer of good news and compliments. When you hear something positive about someone, deliver the compliment to them directly. People appreciate those who share kind thoughts.
#53 Incorporate positive assumptions about your conversation partner.
#54 Sneak in subtle compliments when conversing.
#55 When conversing with a potential connection, identify one specific and unique quality they have. Deliver the killer compliment based on this quality at the conversation's end. Make sure the compliment is genuine and shared privately. Use killer compliments sparingly.
#56 Express small affirmations often (“Good job!” “Nice!”).
#57 Immediately praise people as soon as they complete a feat (“Wow!” “Amazing!”).
#58 Praise the praises you receive (“That’s very kind of you.”)
#59 Ask people what’s important in their lives and remember it, then later express appreciation incorporating their response.
Techniques to talk on the phone:
#60 Consider yourself the star of a personal radio show. Convert your smiles, nods, and gestures into audible cues.
#61 People like the sound of their own names. Say their names often.
#62 Answer the phone professionally, then let happiness engulf your face and voice when you learn who's calling.
#63 If you have an assistant screen calls for you, instruct them to say “Ok I’ll put you right through.” If you can’t or don’t want to take the call, then the assistant will inform the caller of your unavailability. This way the caller doesn’t feel like they’ve been screened.
#64 Greet and build rapport with the person who answers, even if they’re not the person who you need to reach.
#65 Always start by asking about the person's availability. Ask "Is this a good time to talk?"
#66 Have a brief, professional, and friendly outgoing voicemail greeting. Change it often and embrace imperfections as they show authenticity.
#67 Clear your throat while dialing. If an answering machine answers, treat the beep as your cue for an audition.
#68 Instead of saying, "May I speak to Ms. Bigshot?" simply say, "Hi, John Smith here, is she in?" This implies a friendly connection.
#69 If you hear background interruptions, ask if they need to attend to it.
#70 Record and review your business conversations. You might find room for improvement.
Techniques to use at gatherings:
#71 Don’t hold food or drinks to put up a wall between you and others.
#72 When arriving at the gathering, pause in the doorway to slowly survey the scene.
#73 Treat every party as a rehearsal for meeting someone potentially important. Take initiative and talk to everyone at the event.
#74 Position your body openly to convey openness and acceptance.
#75 Remember details of your conversations and later refer to them with a sense of importance.
#76 Write down notes about people you’ve met after the event. Refer to them when you meet again.
#77 The human body constantly broadcasts feelings like excitement or boredom. Be vigilant of these signals and respond accordingly.
Techniques to be sensitive to social etiquettes:
#78 Overlook others' gaffes. Allow the pleasant illusion of infallibility.
#79 When an interruption occurs, allow it to resolve naturally, and then encourage the person to continue their story.
#80 When requesting something, always disclose the mutual benefits, even if there are none. This transparent approach prevents being labeled as deceitful.
#81 After someone agrees to do you a favor, give them at least 24 hours to savor the joy of their generosity before they have to complete the favor.
#82 After doing someone a favor, wait a while before asking for reciprocation.
#83 Maintain pleasantries and avoid confrontations at parties.
#84 Maintain pleasantries and avoid confrontations at dinners.
#85 Don’t try to sell or negotiate at a chance meeting. Keep the encounter light and pleasant.
#86 When seeking information, let people express themselves fully, wait until they've said everything they want to say, then they’ll be more receptive to your ideas.
#87 When you require facts from people in an emotional context, let them express their emotions, acknowledge them, and empathize with them.
#88 When you make a mistake, ensure that the person affected benefits from it. Ask yourself how you can delight the person impacted by your mistake.
#89 When you catch someone engaging in deceptive behavior, avoid confronting them directly unless it's your responsibility or necessary to protect others. Let them escape with their dignity intact, and then choose not to engage with them again.
#90 To receive exceptional service from professionals, send a gift or praise to their superiors. This ensures they care enough to provide their best service in the future.
#91 Be the first to publicly praise those you agree with and want to build rapport with.
#92 We all keep score of the good and bad people do to us. Make sure your score with everyone is always high in the good.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie

A timeless classic that teaches practical techniques for building relationships, gaining influence, and achieving success in both personal and professional settings.

4.2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Psychologist B.F. Skinner found that animals rewarded for good behavior will learn more effectively than those punished for bad behavior. Humans work the same way.
Don't criticize people. Humans are primarily driven by emotion and not by reason. When you criticize someone, they'll feel like they're under attack, and naturally they'll be defensive instead of trying to understand what you're saying. Criticizing someone might help you release frustration, but it'll make people like you less.
Benjamin Franklin attributed his success to "speaking no ill of man." Abraham Lincoln stopped openly criticizing others when someone he offended challenged him to a duel. Abraham Lincoln also later famously said of Southerners during the Civil War, "Don't criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances."
Frequently show appreciation of others. Everyone is receptive to genuine praise.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said every person he met was superior to him in certain ways. You can always find something in someone to show appreciation of. The author once made a bored postal employee's day simply by praising his full head of hair.
It's important to smile to make a good first impression.
A stock broker asked the author for advice to improve his life. The author simply asked the stock broker to commit to smiling more. People were immediately affected by the stock broker's change, and they smiled back. The stock broker claimed this experiment brought more happiness in two months than the entire previous year. He also found improvements at work -- complaints became easier to deal with, and his revenue earnings increased.
We tend to automatically like those who smile at us. Psychologists also found not only do we smile as a response of positive emotions, consciously smiling can actually induce positive emotions. If you'd like to feel happier, try smiling more.
People love the sound of their own names. It's important to remember them and use their names frequently during conversations.
Jim Farley was Postmaster General and Chairman of the Democratic National Committee. He attributed his success to remembering people's names. He could recall 50,000 people by their first names.
Theodore Roosevelt was popular among his staff because he remembers all their names. This shows people you care about and appreciate them. The author also made it a habit to remember people's birthdays to achieve the same effect.
Napoleon the Third remembered people's names by repeating it back to them multiple times to associate it with the person.
Being a good listener is crucial in making connections.
The author attended a dinner party in which he met a botanist. The author found him interesting and asked him questions and listened to him for hours. The botanist later commended the author's conversational skills, even though the author barely spoke. The key to being likable is being interested in others and truly listening by consciously making an effort to give the other person your full attention.
People tend to enjoy talking about themselves. A study showed that "I" is the most commonly used word in phone conversations. However, talking about yourself too much, and not listening and interrupting will make you seem self-centered and disagreeable.
Benjamin Disraeli said, “Talk to people about themselves, and they will listen for hours.”
Ask questions about people's accomplishments and the things they love.
When you want someone to do something for you, think about how you can make them want to do it?
For example, the author once booked a hotel ballroom for lectures, but the hotel informed him the price would triple. The author thought about the hotel's perspective, and explained to the hotel the higher price would result in the hotel losing a significant amount of free advertising, since the author would have to move the popular lectures elsewhere due to the new price. The hotel responded by only raising the price by 50%.
It is invaluable to be knowledgeable of what other people's interests are if you'd like to win their favor.
Theodore Roosevelt routinely read about a person's interests before meeting them for the first time.
Try to avoid arguments. Even if you win the argument, the other person will find you disagreeable for having hurt their pride.
When there is a disagreement, don't reject the opposition and get defensive. Instead, see the disagreement as a positive -- a new perspective. Focus on the areas that you agree on. Admit mistakes. Consider if the other person could be correct.
Patrick was a salesman for White Motor Trucks. He was having trouble selling because he tended to retort when a customer said anything negative about his trucks. After Patrick attended the author's lectures, Patrick agreed with the customers more. This strategy quelled any arguments before they began, and Patrick was able to quickly redirect the conversation to all the good things about his trucks. Patrick then became his company's star salesman.
Do not unequivocally tell people they are wrong. Avoid using terms like "obviously" and "certainly". You're essentially saying you know better or are smarter. This is an attack on people's self-esteem. People will be defensive, retaliate, and you'll seem disagreeable.
Use language like "I think" or "I imagine". For example, "I think it might be this, but I could be wrong. I've often been wrong before. Let's look at the facts and discuss." This will lower resistance to your views.
The author overpaid for draperies for his home. When a visiting friend confronted the author that he was overcharged, the author felt insulted and defended his actions by claiming the draperies were of high quality. When another visiting friend complimented the draperies first, the author was disarmed, and easily admitted that he overpaid and regretted the purchase.
Admit your mistakes and apologize immediately. When you do so, people tend to be lenient and generous, because granting forgiveness gives a sense of satisfaction and self-importance. Also, you'll feel much better and achieve better relationships than having others point out your mistakes and you defending them.
Be friendly, and do not boast or show anger.
John D. Rockefeller Jr. had to address miners who were striking for over two years for higher wages and better working conditions. The situation was tense and contentious, as some died during the strike. Rockefeller's strategy was friendliness. His speeches and his interactions with the miners all conveyed that he was a friend and shared many interests with them. This gained the trust of the miners. The miner's leader concluded Rockefeller is honestly trying to improve conditions and his efforts will probably result in betterments.
Get others to say "yes" often to be convincing.
Think of agreements you have with the other person, and ask questions that will elicit "yeses". This makes it harder for people to say no later, and it builds momentum to gain more "yeses".
A hunting store clerk was able to sell a bow to a customer who was only looking to rent by applying the getting-yeses technique: "Have you rented a bow before?" "Yes." "You probably paid around $20 to $30?" "Yes." "We have bow-sets for sale for $34.95, so you can buy a set for only $4.95 more than the cost of a single rental, which is why we don't rent them anymore. Is that reasonable?" "Yes."
Be generous with sincere praises.
People are more inclined to hear what you have to say after receiving praise.
William McKinley saw room for improvement for a speech written by his speech writer. McKinley first praised the speech and said the speech would be perfect for many scenarios, but this occasion required something different.

The Hundred Years' War on Palestine

Rashid Khalidi

“A History of Settler-Colonial Conquest and Resistance, 1917-2017”

3.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Palestine is a region in the Middle East. It is also called the Holy Land due to its significance to Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and Baháʼí.
In 1899, Yusuf Diya al-Khalidi, the mayor of Jerusalem, wrote a letter to express concerns about the Zionist movement's aim to establish a Jewish national home in Palestine. He emphasized the resistance of the indigenous people to displacement and warned of future dangers, concluding with a plea, “in the name of God, let Palestine be left alone.”
The author is al-Khalidi’s great-great-nephew.
For four centuries, Palestine was ruled by the Ottoman Empire with a predominantly Arab Muslim population (94%) and small Jewish and Christian minorities.
After World War I in 1917, Britain colonized Palestine and issued the Balfour Declaration backing a Jewish national home in Palestine. It also protected civil and religious of non-Jewish communities' rights but omitted political rights and self-determination.
Regarding the King-Crane Commission in 1919, an inquiry requested by US President Woodrow Wilson to assess the opinions of the Syrian and Palestinian people concerning the post-World War I resolution of their lands: “... the commissioners presciently warned that ‘if the American government decided to support the establishment of a Jewish state in Palestine, they are committing the American people to the use of force in that area, since only by force can a Jewish state in Palestine be established or maintained.’ The commission thereby accurately predicted the course of the subsequent century.”
Palestinians unsuccessfully petitioned for independence from Britain from 1919 to 1928.
The 1922 Mandate for Palestine laid the groundwork for Jewish self-governance, which advanced Zionism, but made no reference to the Arab Palestinian majority. As a result, the Jewish population grew to 20% by the late 1920s.
In 1937, Britain proposed the Peel Commission to create a Jewish state on 17% of the land, provoking a Palestinian revolt that was violently suppressed.
10% of adult Palestinian males were either killed, wounded, or imprisoned.
After WWII, the 1947 UN Resolution 181 partitioned Palestine into Jewish and Arab states, with 56% going to the Jewish state.
The US and USSR backed the Resolution as they were sympathetic to the Jewish people after the Holocaust.
The Resolution breached the Palestinians' right to national self-determination as guaranteed in the UN Charter.
In 1948, Zionist forces continued to expand control by launching assaults, called the Nakba (AKA “the disaster”/"catastrophe"), on Arab villages, destroying over 500 villages and displacing over 700,000 Palestinians. Despite some resistance from neighboring Arab nations, divided interests prevented effective pushback.
The Israeli government seized and repurposed land left behind by displaced Palestinians to exclusively serve the Jewish community.
On May 15, 1948, Britain gave up her mandate and the state of Israel was declared, controlling 80% of former Palestinian territory.
The Six-Day War in 1967 between Israel and its neighbors was brief but significantly shaped the Israel-Palestine conflict. Sparked by lingering tensions after Israel's 1948 expansion and Egypt’s blockade of Israeli vessels in the Straits of Tiran, Israel launched strikes against Egyptian, Jordanian, and Syrian forces, and proceeded to capture the West Bank, the Gaza Strip, and the Sinai Peninsula.
Israel had the support of the United States, and the war signified closer Israel-U.S. relationships.
The US saw Israel as a strategic ally against the USSR.
On November 22, 1967, Resolution 242 (S/RES/242) was adopted unanimously by the United Nations Security Council in the aftermath of the Six-Day War. It effectively affirmed Israel's 1948 borders and control of its 1967 conquests, and neglected the Palestinians.
The wake of the Six-Day War renewed Palestinian resistance, with militant political organizations like the Palestinian Liberation Organization (PLO) gaining traction and fighting back.
The Lebanon War in June 1982 began with Israeli attacks, with US support, on Beirut, aiming to crush the PLO and Palestinian nationalism. In August, the PLO agreed to withdraw from Lebanon. The war left a destroyed city and thousands of Palestinian and Lebanese civilians dead.
The author and his family resided in Beirut for many years and lived through the attacks.
In September 1982, following the assassination of Bachir Gemayel, the recently elected President of Lebanon and an ally of Israel, Lebanese Phalangist militants, supported by Israel, massacred between 460 to 3,500 civilians, primarily Palestinians and Lebanese Shias residing in refugee camps.
The First Palestinian intifada (uprising) in the occupied territories signaled new resistance after decades of Palestinian hardship under Israel’s occupation. Sparked by an Israeli army vehicle killing Palestinians, the intifada emphasized nonviolence and civil disobedience, but still often met with violent Israeli responses.
The intifada pushed Israel into negotiations with the PLO representing the Palestinians. However, the PLO were inexperienced diplomats and the talks were brokered by the Israel-friendly US. The results were the Oslo I Accord (1993) and the Oslo II Accord (1995).
The Oslo Accords allowed the PLO to reenter the territories under a limited self-governing body, the Palestinian National Authority, while recognizing Israel as a state and granting it control over critical issues such as security and residency, leading to long-term negative consequences for Palestine.
With severely limited freedom under Israeli occupation, Palestinian lives worsened and faith for the PLO waned as the more militant group Hamas gained support.
“... the martial regime under which the Palestinians lived granted the Israeli military near-unlimited authority to control the minutiae of their lives.”
Tensions led to the more violent second intifada, triggered by the visit of Ariel Sharon, then the Israeli opposition leader, to a Islamic holy site in Jerusalem in September 2000.
Israel's crackdown of the multi-year intifada killed thousands of Palestinians. Palestinians responded with suicide bombings.
Hamas, which advocates armed resistance, won the 2006 Palestinian legislative election.
Israel besieged Gaza in response, making it an open-air prison, and Hamas began periodically firing rockets over the border.
In 2014, Hamas launched rockets into Israel, killing 5 Israelis. In response, Israel bombarded Gaza for 51 days, destroying neighborhoods and killing thousands.
The US provision of lethal weapons to Israel elevated the loss of lives and the destruction of infrastructure.
The recent U.S. policy shift under the Trump administration, acknowledging Jerusalem as Israel's capital and relocating the embassy to the city, along with Israel's 2018 law conferring self-determination solely to Jews, echoes a historical pattern of marginalizing Palestinians.
Progress requires latitude, solidarity, and an understanding that Israelis and Palenstinians both have deep ties to their homelands.

I Will Teach You to Be Rich

Ramit Sethi

“No Guilt. No Excuses. No BS. Just a 6-Week Program That Works”

3.8 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Your financial situation is ultimately in your own hands. Don’t blame society, media, or others for your financial issues, anyone has the ability to save money wisely.
Young people should not let fear of losing money stop them from making the right financial decision. They are more risk tolerant because they have time to fix mistakes and they also have less to lose.
The 85% solution suggests that most young people fail to handle their finances because they think they must be experts. However, what matters is just taking immediate action, even if it's only 85% correct.
“Getting started is more important than becoming an expert.”
Your credit score can help you save money and build wealth. When you need to make a large purchase (e.g., house) you’ll most likely need a loan (e.g., mortgage). Your credit score influences the loans and interest rates you can access. With good credit, you can qualify for lower interest rates, saving hundreds of thousands over time.
Someone with excellent credit may pay $359,867 for a $200,000 mortgage over 30 years compared to $430,427 for someone with poor credit -- a $70,560 difference.
Credit cards are key to building credit. To boost your score, pay down debts, make payments on time (use automatic payments to never miss a payment), and lower interest rates by negotiating with lenders. Seek cards with the best rewards. If you incur fees, you can often call to get them waived.
Getting out of debt boosts your credit and saves money. Do it in 5 steps:
Total your debt.
Focus on paying off one card first, either the highest APR (annual percentage rate of charge) or lowest balance.
Negotiate a lower APR to reduce interest.
Cut spending to free up more for payments.
Just start -- an imperfect plan now is better than no plan.
Have at least one checking account and one savings account. Checking account is for frequent withdrawals, a savings account is for future goals and plans.
Consider using online banks. Online banks can offer no fees and higher interest rates because they have minimal overhead costs compared to brick-and-mortar banks. Smart banking choices compound returns.
$50,000 in an online account at 4% yields $2,000 annually versus just $250 at a traditional bank's 0.5% rate.
Try to always have around $1,000 in your checking account for emergencies and to avoid overdraft fees.
Investing gives higher returns than savings due to compound interest (the interest you earn is added to your principal, so the next year you earn interest on that new higher amount). Longer time invested means more compound growth. So start early -- letting compounding work over decades yields far greater wealth than saving alone.
The stock market's average annual return is 8% after inflation.
Assuming 8% annual return, $1,000 becomes $46,901.61 in 50 years, thanks to compound interest.
A 401(k) retirement account through your employer is a good place to start investing. It offers tax breaks (money isn’t taxed until withdrawal/pretax), potential employer matches, and easy automatic contributions from your paycheck.
Since a 401(k) is meant for retirement, withdrawing before age 59.5 triggers a 10% early penalty plus income tax.
Make sure to invest enough to get all of your employer’s match. It’s essentially free money.
Next open a Roth IRA on your own with an investment brokerage using your after-tax dollars. Unlike 401(k) withdrawals, Roth IRA earnings and withdrawals in retirement are tax-free. You can withdraw contributions without penalty, but not earnings. Start small if needed. Vanguard, Schwab, and Fidelity are good options.
Adopt a conscious spending plan to reduce guilt and align spending with your values. Automatically allot percentages for fixed costs, investments, savings, and guilt-free spending.
Example: 50-60% fixed costs (rent, food, utilities, debt), 5-10% savings, 10% long-term investments, 20-35% guilt-free spending.
“Spend extravagantly on the things you love, and cut costs mercilessly on the things you don’t.”
“My friend Jim once called to tell me that he’d gotten a raise at work. On the same day, he moved into a smaller apartment. Why? Because he doesn’t care very much about where he lives, but he loves spending money on camping and biking. That’s called conscious spending.”
Automate your finances to effortlessly manage your money and maintain your goals.
Set up automatic payments for fixed costs and credit cards, and automatic transfers from checking to saving/investment accounts.
Use mid-month calendar reminders to track spending and ensure you stay within goals.
Funding an investment account is not the same as investing the money within it. If you automate 401(k) or IRA contributions but don't actually invest, the money just sits there earning nothing. This is a common costly mistake.
Start by learning about asset classes, the building blocks of investing.
Stocks are shares in a company whose value fluctuates based on performance and investor sentiment. Stocks are riskier but offer higher potential returns.
Bonds are more stable investments where you loan money to a government or company for a set repayment schedule. Bonds buffer against stock market volatility.
Don't get overwhelmed trying to pick individual stocks. Even experts can't predict performance consistently.
Invest in automatic lifecycle funds based on your age, also called target-date funds. They handle investing and risk balancing for you at a minimal cost. They automatically adjust your asset allocation appropriately from more stocks when younger to more bonds as you near retirement.
People over underestimate wedding costs. An average American wedding costs $35K. Start saving as soon as possible, before even getting engaged. Estimate your target wedding date, then divide expected costs by months until then to determine a monthly savings goal.
You have the most leverage to negotiate salary when first hired. Tips:
Emphasize the value you'll add, not your needs or how much it’ll cost them.
Use other offers for leverage.
Negotiate total compensation -- vacation, stock, etc.
Stay friendly. You both want an agreement.
Make them give an offer first and keep your target salary quiet. Research compensation for comparable jobs.
Practice negotiating with others. It will feel awkward at first but makes you more confident.
When buying a car, determine your true monthly car budget including insurance, gas, parking, maintenance -- not just the car payment.
The best way to save on a car is to drive it as long as possible, so buy reliable cars and invest in maintenance.
Get quotes from dealerships at month's end when salespeople want to meet quotas. Use quotes to spark a bidding war for the best deal.
A house is generally the biggest purchase of your life. Be prepared and diligent.
Home ownership costs include mortgage, insurance, property taxes, and maintenance -- things you don’t need to worry about when renting.
Home ownership costs should not exceed 30% of your monthly income.
Typically a 20% downpayment and 2-5% closing costs are required to purchase a house.

If You Tell

Gregg Olsen

“A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood”

3.8 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Michelle "Shelly" Watson was born to Sharon and Les Watson in 1954, however, Sharon was an alcoholic and unable to raise Shelly, eventually cutting off contact. Shelly was raised primarily by her father Les and stepmother Lara after age six.
Shelly's grandmother Anna, whom she often visited after school, was known for her cruelty and taking joy in abusing and belittling her employees.
“Making people unhappy was her way of having fun.”
Shelly exhibited troubling behaviors as a child, causing schools to turn her away.
She put glass shards in people’s shoes.
She threw dishes into the garbage when asked to wash them.
At age fifteen, she falsely accused her father of raping her.
“Lara and Les came to know something that few understood in the late sixties and seventies: no one can help a troubled person who doesn't think they need it.”
Shelly married her first husband, Randy, in 1973, just after high school, leading to the birth of their daughter, Nikki, two years later. Randy eventually left and filed for divorce because of Shelly’s abusive behavior.
Shelly's marriage to her second husband, Danny, in 1978 was also chaotic, ending with Danny running away and filing for divorce after the birth of their daughter Sami.
Shelly's third husband, Dave Knotek, from a logging family in Raymond, Washington, endured Shelly for twenty years. They lived in an isolated house with a lot of privacy.
Shelly’s oldest daughter, Nikki, endured the worst abuse from Shelly, who would barge into Nikki's room at night and drag her out of bed, abusing her verbally and physically for no apparent reason.
Shelly often used phone cords to hit Nikki.
Shelly locked Nikki in a closet for weeks.
Shelly frequently forced Nikki to crawl naked outside while her father Dave sprayed her with a hose, even in freezing winters. Shelly called this “wallowing.”
Shelly’s second daughter, Sami, was Shelly’s favorite and faced less abuse.
Occasionally, Shelly showed hints of kindness, though these were often brief and manipulative.
Shelly once ran a bath for Nikki and took her to get her hair done and have dinner, however this came after Shelly pushed Nikki through a glass door, making her bleed.
“My mother could show affection and say kind words when she wanted to... she would abuse me, then the very next day hug me or tell me how I was her baby and she loved me blah, blah. I think it worked like any abusive relationship... a person feels trapped, nowhere to go... they are abused and then the abuser reins them back in with kindness and the person being abused settles, not quite thinking about the next time they are beat etc. just relieved the abuse is over (for now).”
“[Nikki] really did hate her mother. Part of her believed, however, that despite how Shelly treated them, she was better than having no mother at all.”
The household dynamics changed in 1988 when Shane Watson, Shelly's nephew, came to live with them after his father spiraled into crime and substance abuse. Shane became like a brother to Nikki and Sami.
Though initially welcomed, Shane soon became a new target for Shelly's abuse, enduring extreme punishments like being bound with duct tape and having Icy Hot applied to his genitals.
In 1989, Shelly gave birth to her third daughter Tori, and her best friend Kathy Loreno also moved in. Shelly initially treated Kathy well, but Kathy gradually became the new focus of Shelly's humiliation and unpredictable violence.
Kathy's physical and mental health deteriorated severely under Shelly's abuse. Kathy was locked outdoors, starved, and beaten.
Eventually, Dave found Kathy dead on the bathroom floor, seemingly choked to death on her own vomit. He and Shelly burned her body in a fire pit and threw the remains in the ocean.
Shelly fabricated a story that Kathy had eloped with a truck driver, though Shane and Nikki knew the truth that Kathy was dead.
Paranoid about Shane, Shelly constantly pressured Dave to get rid of him. One day, Shane mysteriously disappeared, with Shelly claiming he went to Alaska for a fishing job.
After graduating high school, Nikki started fighting back against her mother's abuse and escaped to live with relatives.
Nikki told her grandmother, Lara, everything, though the police investigation was halted when they couldn’t reach Sami, who was away at college, to corroborate the story.
Shelly's next victim was Ron Woodworth, a gay veteran with a substance abuse problem. She took him in but soon isolated, abused, and degraded him until his health severely declined.
“In his midfifties, it was late in the game for Ron's do-over. He had lost his home, his father, his partner. He was also estranged from his mother, with whom he had lived after the foreclosure of his trailer in 1999. Worst of all, he had lost his cats. Shelly told Tori that they were going to take Ron in, to help him get back on his feet. Tori didn't know that this was one of the same lines Shelly had once used to sell Dave on bringing Kathy Loreno into their lives.”
Shelly forced Ron to drink his own urine.
Shelly forced Ron to jump off the roof, permanently injuring him.
Shelly addressed Ron’s wounds by pouring bleach and boiling water over them.
When Ron died during a heatwave, Shelly sent Tori to visit Sami and Nikki while Dave buried Ron in the backyard. They didn’t burn the body as they did with previous victims, as starting a fire during forest fire season would risk gaining attention.
The sisters confided their concerns about Ron's fate to Tori.
Upon returning home, Tori realized her parents were attempting to conceal Ron's death, so she prepared evidence to incriminate them while Sami and Nikki contacted the authorities on her behalf.
The next day, Tori was taken away by Child Protective Services, and shortly after, Shelly and Dave were arrested based on the evidence provided.
Dave confessed to disposing of Kathy and Ron's bodies, and revealed that Shane had also been killed.
In 2004, Dave pleaded guilty to second-degree murder of Shane Watson and received almost 15 years in prison.
Shelly received over 22 years in prison, and was released in 2022 despite her daughters' belief she is still dangerous.
Sami has been entrusted with guardianship of Tori, and the three sisters continue to maintain a strong bond.
“From the inside, a violent home looks starkly different than it does to outsiders. Children who grow up with cold, narcissistic, or sadistic parents don’t know that a caretaker with the potential for extreme cruelty is not the norm. Even when they see a contrast in the families of friends, they’ve already been robbed of the ability to challenge parental authority. Instead of seeking help, they hunker down and adapt.”

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

Rebecca Skloot

The story of medical ethics, scientific progress, racial inequality, and a black woman whose cells transformed modern medicine.

3.3 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Henrietta was born in Roanoke, Virginia on August 1, 1920. She was a black woman who worked on a tobacco farm and later at Bethlehem Steel in Sparrows Point, Maryland. She and her husband, Day Lacks, had five children.
In 1951, after detecting a lump on her cervix, she underwent intensive radium treatments at the Johns Hopkins ward for colored women, intended to combat her epidermoid carcinoma. Unfortunately, these efforts proved futile. On October 4, 1951, Henrietta Lacks passed away.
Biologist George Gey extracted tissues from her without informing her or getting her family’s consent. Gey cultivated the cells using his roller-tube technique, mimicking blood flow. Lacks’ aggressive cancer cells grew rapidly, doubling every 24 hours, becoming the first human cells to survive outside the body for an extended period of time. Kubicek, Gey’s assistant, distributed the breakthrough “immortal HeLa” cells to researchers worldwide.
Scientists established a cell factory to mass produce Henrietta’s cells for polio research. Other than their “immortality”, her cells were also:
Economical: testing on HeLa cells was cheaper than testing on animals
Sustainable: HeLa cells thrived in a culture medium, ensuring continued growth unlike other cells constrained by surface area
Transportable: they can survive long travel distances
Eventually HeLa cells were being used to study many other diseases as well.
HeLa cells were the first cells to be cloned and commercially cultured for profit.
While Henrietta's cells became widely renowned, her and her family's story remained largely overlooked.
Henrietta’s family remained oblivious to the extraction of Henrietta's cells and their importance and profitability.
“I’ve tried to imagine how she’d feel knowing that her cells went up in the first space missions to see what would happen to human cells in zero gravity, or that they helped with some of the most important advances in medicine: the polio vaccine, chemotherapy, cloning, gene mapping, in vitro fertilization. I’m pretty sure that she -- like most of us -- would be shocked to hear that there are trillions more of her cells growing in laboratories now than there ever were in her body.”
In 1999, during a conference on the cells at Morehouse Medical School, the author discovered the family's reluctance to discuss Henrietta. They, and many black Americans, have a deep mistrust of the medical industry, stemming from its historical exploitation of minorities.
There are many documented instances of unethical medical experiments on black people for medical advancements.
The Tuskegee Study, carried out from 1932 to 1972, aimed to observe the progression of untreated syphilis. In this study, researchers did not obtain informed consent from the participants -- 600 black men -- and did not provide treatment, even though it was available.
“Black scientists and technicians, many of them women, used cells from a black woman to help save the lives of millions of Americans, most of them white. And they did so on the same campus -- and at the very same time -- that state officials were conducting the infamous Tuskegee syphilis studies.”
In the 1800s, white slave owners fabricated stories of the "night doctors" in white sheets kidnapping black people to deter escape attempts. This is the origin for the Ku Klux Klan’s white cloaks.
Johns Hopkins was located near a poor black community.
The author, a white woman, attempted to reach out to the Lacks family but was stood up, prompting a journey to Clover, Virginia, Henrietta’s hometown, to learn more about the family.
Following Henrietta's passing, her family grappled with hardship. To support the household, Day worked two jobs, and their son Lawrence left school to care for his siblings. Deborah, Henrietta’s daughter, at ten years old was abused by Henrietta’s cousin. Deborah later married an abusive husband at 18. Even though curious about their mother's fate, the children respected their father's wish not to delve into the matter.
Despite the contributions of HeLa cells to numerous scientific breakthroughs, their widespread use posed a significant threat to research endeavors.
In the 1960s, a Sloan-Kettering cancer researcher injected patients with HeLa cells without sufficient explanation or consent. Prompting objections from colleagues and press attention.
Geneticist Stanley Gartler discovered that HeLa cells, because of their ultra-survivability, had contaminated various cell lines, raising concerns about the validity of many extensive studies. This raised the necessity of the ability to identify HeLa's presence, leading scientists to seek Henrietta's family for help.
Doctors obtained blood samples from Henrietta's surviving children, facilitated by Victor McKusick and his colleague Susan Hsu. However, the family did not fully understand the significance of this procedure. Deborah, Henrietta’s daughter, now concerned about her own risk of cancer, initiated a dialogue with Johns Hopkins doctors and learned more about the HeLa cells.
When scientists took Henrietta’s cells and marketed them, it was legal.
The HeLa case reflects broader concerns about privacy and profits from cells.
John Moore, an Alaskan pipeline worker, had his cells marketed without his knowledge or consent by cancer researcher David Golde. Moore sued, and the case reached the California Supreme Court. The Court determined that a patient's discarded samples are not his personal property, and he does not have the rights to the profits from products or research originating from his cells.
Ted Slavin, a hemophiliac who produced valuable antibodies for hepatitis B, was informed about the potential commercial value of his cell line and thus profited from his cells.
Many argue patients have a fundamental right to know how their cells will be used, as they could be for controversial applications like abortion or weapon research.
Henrietta's cells' cultivation and commercialization without her or her family's consent, coupled with her family's financial struggles, highlighted enduring power imbalances between black and white communities in the U.S.
“She's the most important person in the world and her family living in poverty. If our mother so important to science, why can't we get health insurance?”
The author and Deborah became close friends. Deborah faced health issues and continued to struggle financially. In 2009, Deborah died in her sleep.

In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto

Michael Pollan

An eye-opening exploration of the modern Western diet, offering insights and practical advice on how to make healthier food choices.

3.4 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

In the twentieth century, a shift occurred in how we discussed diets, focusing more on consuming nutrients rather than specific foods. This is called nutritionism. We now think of food more in terms of carbohydrates and vitamins rather than fruits and vegetables.
This is problematic because we eat food, not nutrients, and foods behave very differently to nutrients.
This change can be traced back to the food industry and the US government. In the 1950s, US scientists proposed the lipid hypothesis, linking fat and cholesterol consumption (found in meat and dairy) to heart disease.
In 1977, "The Dietary Goals for the United States" was released based on the lipid hypothesis. However, the committee's head, Senator George McGovern, had interests in cattle ranching, creating a conflict of interest. To appease both his interests and powerful food lobbyists, the wording of the recommendations was altered. Instead of advising against meat and dairy, they suggested choosing meats, poultry, and fish low in saturated fat.
We now rely on nutritionists to interpret nutrition for us. Nutritionism has become like a religion, with nutritionists acting as preachers who explain the mysterious commands of nutrition.
Focusing solely on nutrients can lead us to perceive nutrient-rich processed foods as healthier than real food.
The food industry disguised imitation foods by influencing regulations, allowing adulterated food products to be marketed without the label "imitation" as long as they weren't nutritionally inferior. This led to the acceptance of processed foods as actual food.
The influential Dietary Goals of the US, which shaped modern food science, were based on ideology and hypothesis rather than solid evidence. The lipid hypothesis relied on weak studies, and the connection between dietary cholesterol and heart disease was tenuous. However, the Committee on Nutrition and Human Needs faced pressure from the food industry, which stood to benefit from the guidelines.
Nutritionism became dominant, leading to a proliferation of labels like low-fat, no-cholesterol, and high-fiber on various products. People reduced saturated fat but turned to processed foods. Natural whole foods like fruits and vegetables were neglected, while processed products could appear healthy simply by adding "healthy nutrients."
Nutritionism emphasizes what we should consume more of and avoid, often at the expense of the pleasure of eating. Engineered foods focused on scientific objectives and purported health benefits over taste and cultural significance.
Despite the shift towards a more scientific approach, physical health outcomes have been unconvincing.
The rise of low-fat products has coincided with an alarming increase in obesity and diabetes rates in America.
Swapping fats for carbohydrates, as advised by nutritionists, can interfere with metabolism and lead to overeating.
While deaths from heart disease have decreased, hospital admissions for heart attacks have not, indicating that improvements in medical care may have played a larger role in preventing deaths than dietary changes.
The Western Diet, dominated by processed foods with high amounts of refined sugar and flour, is a major contributor to poor health. Research conducted globally indicates that those who avoid the Western diet avoid associated health risks.
In one study, ten Aborigines who adopted a Western diet experienced an increase in weight, blood pressure, and diabetes risk factors, and when they returned to their native hunters-and-gatherers diet, their health problems significantly improved.
We need to emphasize a diet consisting of fresh foods from animals and plants grown in healthy soils. The current Western food industry is ignoring the importance of sourcing and soil quality, as it’s a financial threat. Yet, the healthiness of food is intricately tied to these factors. The health of each link in the food chain affects the others. Individual health cannot be separated from the overall health of the entire food ecosystem.
Industrialized food production has led to the simplification and chemical treatment of food, favoring refined/processed foods over whole/natural foods, resulting in the removal of nutrients while adding only a select few that are considered important by food science. The goal has been to make food last longer and be more convenient, prioritizing quantity over quality.
Studies indicate that the nutritional content of refined foods has significantly declined over time.
One apple in 1940 provides the same amount of iron as three apples from today.
White flour is easier to store and convert into energy, but it lacks nutritional value when compared to whole wheat, and it has led to overeating, vitamin deficiencies, and chronic diseases.
Justus von Liebig's early baby formula focused on isolating and concentrating essential nutrients. However, babies fed on this formula were less healthy than breastfed babies.
Before the rise of nutritionism, people relied on their cultural food habits for dietary guidance, often passed down through generations. However, the industrialization of food has eroded this food culture and replaced it with ineffective food science that benefits the food and health industries.
The French paradox highlights how the French, despite consuming nutrients considered toxic by American nutritionists, have lower heart disease rates than Americans who follow engineered low-fat diets. It demonstrates the benefits of the French's love for food and their more natural approach to eating.
We should prioritize recovering a more traditional and healthy food culture, making informed dietary choices based on simple guidelines.
Don’t eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn’t recognize.
Don’t eat anything with a complex ingredient list, as it’s an indication of highly processed items.
Be skeptical of food products that make health claims, as these claims are often based on questionable science. You don’t see “lowers cholesterol” labels on vegetables.
Eat plants, especially leaves, as they offer abundant nutrients from the soil and are rich in antioxidants that help you fight diseases. Opt for organic plants grown in good soil.
When consuming animal products, opt for sources that eat more leaves and fewer seeds. “You are what you eat eats.”
Maintain a diverse diet with a variety of plants and animals.
“Eat (real) food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”
Focus on the quality of the food, not quantity. Invest more in higher-quality food and eat less of it.
20% of food in the US is eaten in the car. Make an effort to have proper home cooked meals at a dining table with friends or family. Enjoy your food experiences.

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Robert B. Cialdini

The classic book on principles of persuasion, giving you the knowledge to navigate and understand the forces that shape human behavior.

3.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Turkey mothers are loving and protective, and they identify their children with the sound their offspring emit. This sound is used as a shortcut by the mother to trigger her parental instincts. However, this sound can also be mimicked by other animals to trick the turkeys.
Humans also rely on shortcuts that can be exploited by compliance professionals like advertisers and salespeople to manipulate us.
The power of because: giving a weak reason is way better than giving no reason.
In one study, a researcher asked people waiting in line for a copy machine if she could skip ahead. When she provided a reason, 94% complied, compared to only 60% when no reason was given.
Surprisingly, even when she gave a nonsensical reason like needing to make copies, 93% still complied. This suggests that people have a mental shortcut that accepts any reason as enough to grant a favor.
Rule of reciprocation: humans feel obligated to return favors.
This principle is deeply ingrained in societies and has evolutionary roots in resource sharing.
The desire to reciprocate can be seen at various levels, even in international relations.
Studies show that people often go to great lengths to fulfill the sense of obligation created by a favor, sometimes performing larger favors in return for small ones.
Manipulators can exploit this principle to influence behavior. To resist such manipulation, it is important to question the genuineness of favors. True favors deserve reciprocation, while manipulations do not.
Rejection-then-retreat strategy, also known as the door-in-the-face technique: start with an outrageous request and then concede to a more reasonable one.
When you use this strategy, it evokes the reciprocity principle in your negotiation partners, who feel obliged to reciprocate the concession.
It also takes advantage of the contrast principle, where the difference between the initial and subsequent offers is magnified. “You don’t have to buy our $15 burger, but at least try our $3 fries.”
There is a limit to how extreme the initial request can be before it backfires. If your initial offer is too extreme, people will not take you seriously.
Working for a Republican election campaign, G. Gordon Liddy proposed to kidnap anti-war protest organizers and lure mid-level Democratic with prostitutes. However, these plans were deemed too extreme, so when he proposed to burglarize the offices of the Democratic National Committee, it seemed relatively reasonable and he was given permission to proceed. The burglary became the Watergate scandal and led to US President Richard Nixon’s resignation.
The social proof principle: we seek the behavior of others to determine the correct course of action.
This is why sitcoms have laugh tracks and why books will tell you if they’re “best-selling”.
This principle is related to the bystander effect, where people are less likely to act in an emergency when more people are present. People feel less responsible when others are around.
To effectively seek help in an emergency within a crowd, single out an individual and provide a clear and direct request for assistance. By assigning responsibility to a specific person, they are less likely to rely on the behavior of others for guidance, and the likelihood of receiving help increases drastically.
The Werther effect: we tend to emulate those who are similar to us, even when it’s suicide.
The name comes from Goethe's novel The Sorrows of Young Werther, in which the main character commits suicide. The book was likely responsible for a spike of suicides after its publication.
Marketers often try to influence us through advertisements featuring endorsements from people that look like us.
The likability principle: we comply more with people we like.
Factors that can enhance liability: flattery, finding commonalities, humor, and being perceived as being on the same team or sharing the same goal.
We tend to vote for more attractive candidates in elections. This is because physical attractiveness creates a halo effect, leading us to view attractive people as more positive and trustworthy.
The authority principle: we tend to obey authority figures without question.
Stanley Milgram's famous study demonstrated that individuals would administer potentially harmful shocks to others simply because an authority figure instructed them to do so.
Symbols of authority, such as titles, clothing, or props, can influence our perception and compliance.
To protect ourselves, we need to be aware of the power of authority and question its legitimacy and intentions.
Foot-in-the-door technique: a small purchase or commitment leads to a larger purchase.
Humans have a strong desire for consistency and staying true to our word.
Studies have shown that when people agree to watch someone's belongings and then witness a theft, they are much more likely (95% vs. 20%) to intervene and help recover the stolen item.
This technique changes the prospect's self-perception from an observer to a participant/customer, making them more receptive to further offers.
The lowball technique: giving a favorable offer and then changing it later.
This tactic is used to evoke inner change regarding the product.
When we decide to make a purchase, we will create justifications for it and become attached to it. Subsequently, when the original offer is changed, it’s harder for us to say no.
The harder we work to obtain something, the more we tend to value it. This is why group initiation rituals are often punishing.
The scarcity principle: when something becomes scarce or limited, we want it more.
Studies have shown that when an item is presented as scarce, people are more inclined to purchase it. Advertisers take advantage of this principle by emphasizing limited-time offers or limited availability.
Scarcity is created when two conditions are met: the availability of the item has recently decreased, and there is competition involved.
It is important to consider whether we genuinely need the item or if our desire is driven by the irrational wish to possess something scarce.
The Romeo and Juliet effect: forbidding, banning, or censoring something often makes it more desirable.
The name comes from the fact that barriers or interference in relationships can actually intensify feelings of love and desire.
Similarly, when information is banned or censored, it is perceived as more valuable.
Humans have a strong aversion to losing opportunities, and when something is banned or restricted, it creates a sense of urgency and desire.
Studies have shown that people tend to sympathize with and give more importance to information or ideas that are deemed forbidden or restricted.

The Intelligent Investor

Benjamin Graham

Timeless wisdom and practical guidance in the art of value investing, empowering readers with the knowledge to build a solid foundation for long-term financial success.

2.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Know the difference between investment and speculation.
Investment involves a thorough analysis of the underlying value of an asset and its potential for sustainable growth over time.
Speculation relies on predicting price movements without considering the asset's intrinsic value, often driven by emotions and market trends. Speculative activities are inherently riskier.
Focus on facts and analysis, not tips or hunches. The intelligent investor focuses on significant data like a company's earnings, dividends, future growth, financial state.
Investors should prioritize safety and diversification, whereas speculators expose themselves to greater uncertainty and potential losses.
Inflation erodes the purchasing power of money over time. The intelligent investor must account for this. Stocks provide a good long-term hedge against inflation because their earnings tend to rise with inflation and the stock market tends to rise over time.
Bonds do poorly in inflation due to fixed coupon payments. Adjustable-rate bonds help counter this.
Real estate values and rents tend to keep pace with inflation, making property a decent inflation hedge.
Gold maintains its value during inflation but provides no earnings. It's speculative and only useful as a small portion of assets.
Companies that regularly reinvest earnings deliver better inflation-adjusted returns. Focus on firms that consistently grow.
Avoid fixed-value investments like cash savings accounts since inflation erodes their real returns. Stay invested in growth assets.
Stock price swings are often excessive and irrational, influenced by economic and geopolitical events, and driven by emotion not logic. This leads to periods of overvaluation and undervaluation. The author personifies the irrationality of the market by using the “Mr. Market” allegory. The intelligent investor ignores Mr. Market and focuses on companies’ fundamentals.
You cannot predict/time the market. Investors should not assume that past market trends will continue indefinitely.
The intelligent investor aims to avoid buying at excessive prices and focus on undervalued stocks. It’s important to focus on the fundamental value of stocks rather than short-term market movements.
Be a defensive investor, one who prioritizes the preservation of capital.
You should have a well-diversified portfolio of both stocks and bonds, with a minimum of 25% and a maximum of 75% allocated to each.
Bonds should consist of high-quality, investment-grade issues with staggered maturities to reduce interest rate risk.
Consider using low-cost index funds or exchange-traded funds (ETFs) for stock investments to achieve broad market exposure.
Avoid Initial Public Offerings. IPOs often happen in bull markets and lead to inflated valuations.
To minimize risk, no more than 5% of the portfolio should be in one stock. No more than 25% in any one industry. Diversify adequately.
Avoid speculative and high-risk investments, as well as excessive trading. Patience and discipline are key traits for the defensive investor, who should be prepared to hold onto their investments even during market fluctuations.
Regular portfolio reviews are essential to rebalance the allocation back to the target percentages.
The defensive investor should focus their stock purchases on established, high-quality companies with a consistent earning power and dividend record. Companies should also have a moderate P/E (price-to-earnings) ratio and a reasonable debt-to-equity ratio.
Defensive investors should aim to buy stocks at a discount to their intrinsic value while using a margin of safety (accounting for human errors through diversification and investing in high dividend and low debt companies).
The intelligent investor is willing to put in more time and effort into stock selection and analysis. Consider the negative approach, which involves screening out certain stocks based on criteria such as high debt, speculative nature, or inadequate earnings history.
The author’s main investment approach is value investing, which involves determining companies’ true value based on their fundamentals and targeting undervalued companies with long-term business potential. Value investing ignores short-term market trends, believing the market overreacts without considering fundamentals. It aims to buy quality stocks on sale relative to their true worth.
To determine a company’s value, use fundamental analysis of its long-term growth prospects, quality of management, financial strength and capital structure, dividend record, and current dividend rate. This info can be obtained through public records.
The formula the author developed to determine value is:
V = (EPS * (8.5 + 2g) * 4.4) / Y
V = the value expected over the next 7 to 10 years
EPS = the company’s last 12-month earnings per share
8.5 = P/E base for a no-growth company
g = reasonably expected 7 to 10 Year Growth Rate of EPS
4.4 = the average yield of AAA corporate bonds in 1962
Y = the current yield on AAA corporate bonds.

Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men

Caroline Criado Pérez

An empowering look at how women have been systematically ignored in data and design, and what can be done to create a more equal world.

3 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

We live in a world designed for men. We are conditioned to see men as the default gender and ignore women's experiences.
The gender data gap refers to how data often centers on male experiences and overlooks female needs.
“One of the most important things to say about the gender data gap is that it is not generally malicious, or even deliberate. Quite the opposite. It is simply the product of a way of thinking that has been around for millennia and is therefore a kind of not thinking. A double not thinking, even: men go without saying, and women don't get said at all. Because when we say human, on the whole, we mean man.”
The bias against women goes back to ancient philosophers like Aristotle, who saw women as aberrations from the male norm. In anatomy, the male body was long considered the default, with female organs named centuries after their male counterparts.
Even now, representation across society skews male.
In the UK, there are more statues of men named John than of all non-royal women combined.
A study found grammar textbooks reference men three times as often as women.
Women’s needs are often neglected in government and corporate policies.
In many areas, the transportation system is optimized for commuter travelers that work full-time (historically male-dominated) while non-commuter travelers (more female) are penalized.
Facebook did not have priority parking for pregnant women until it hired a woman CEO who became pregnant.
The gender data gap harms women's safety on public transit. Women face frequent harassment but rarely report it, due to unclear procedures, social taboo, or fear of retaliation. With no accurate data showing women's greater vulnerability, transit systems don't implement protections.
Men and women often have the same amount of restroom space, this universal design decision is a result of inadequate data from women, and it creates much longer restroom lines for women.
Women do more in the restrooms than men (change tampons, makeup, take care of children, etc.), and thus need more time and facilities.
Men’s urinals allow the space to serve more people.
In developing countries, the impact of unavailable restrooms for women is far more serious, as women without private toilets rely on public facilities. With no private toilet access, women face health issues and sexual violence from using unsafe public restrooms.
There are disproportionately fewer renowned world-class female pianists because the piano is designed to fit male handspans. Women's smaller average handspan cannot easily span a standard keyboard octave.
Smartphones are designed to fit the male hand. This has led to more musculoskeletal problems for female smartphone users.
Office temperature standards from the 1960s were chosen to suit men's metabolic rate.
Cars are designed to be safe for the average male. Crash test dummies are mostly modeled based on average male height, weight and proportions, though women have higher injury rates in crashes.
The European Union required crash-test dummies that are based on the “fiftieth percentile male”.
Research shows women are more affected by radiation than men. This has serious implications when science uses a man as the standard.
In medical textbooks men are depicted three times more than women.
Women are underrepresented in medical trials.
In trials of occlusion devices, women were only 18% of participants.
The CRT-D pacemaker was originally tested on just 20% women. FDA review found its data inaccurate and harmful for women.
Modern governments often cut taxes on top earners to spur growth, but with men outearning women globally by 38%, these tax cuts are most beneficial for men. Not analyzing taxation for gender impact passes policies that discriminate against women.
Unpaid domestic and care work, largely done by women, is excluded from GDP (gross domestic product), the standard measure of value added. Factoring it in would increase countries’ GDP significantly. In the US, unpaid work equals up to 20% of GDP.
Women do 75% of the world’s unpaid work.
Not including unpaid work in GDP is essentially implying women don’t add value.
“There is no such thing as a woman who doesn’t work. There is only a woman who isn’t paid for her work.”
Unpaid care work is a main barrier for women working. Better policy supporting social infrastructure like childcare could enable women's employment and grow GDP significantly, but this requires recognizing unpaid work through better data.
Workplace culture often assumes an "unencumbered" worker -- someone without domestic duties, but with women doing most unpaid care, they're more "encumbered." Needing schedule flexibility or avoiding overtime disadvantages women in workplaces favoring the unencumbered.
More workplaces should install daycare centers to combat employment gender disparity.
Powerful positions (politicians, CEOs, etc.) that make important decisions that affect a large number of people are mostly held by men.
Male leaders are far less likely to address gender issues than female leaders.
“It's not always easy to convince someone a need exists, if they don't have that need themselves.”
In 2017, only 23.5% of the politicians in the world were women.
Research shows that women in male-dominated spaces are judged more negatively for the same thing that a man says.
A 2016 report states that 66% of female politicians received misogynistic abuse.
An Australian study reported 80% of women would not run for office because of fear of harassment.
Female refugees face a unique challenge, enduring widespread sexual violence from male figures of authority. This violence stems from institutions operating on a male-as-default mindset, designing facilities and hiring male authorities without addressing gender-specific concerns.

Israel: A Concise History of a Nation Reborn

Daniel Gordis

An accessible history of the state of Israel from its inception to present day.

3.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Jews faced anti-Semitism throughout Europe. Laws restricted Jewish freedom. Pogroms, organized massacres of jewish people, were committed with impunity. By the late 1800s, 2.5 million Jews had fled Eastern Europe despite calling it home for centuries.
In the 1880s, an anti-Semetic politician proposed a Jewish state in Palestine to solve the "Jewish problem." This might have inadvertently inspired Theodor Herzl, the founder of Zionism.
Through his experiences in Europe, Theodor Herzl realized that even democratic institutions were susceptible to anti-Semitism. In 1896, he published the influential The Jewish State, kickstarting Zionism, which advocates for an independent Jewish state. Jewish people have been divided on the idea of Zionism since its origination.
Many Jewish people in the United States thought Zionism wasn’t unnecessary because the US provided sufficient freedom.
Herzl proposed Palenstine as a location for the Jewish nation, citing the Bible and God's promise to return Jews to their homeland in Palestine.
In 1903, the three-day Kishinev pogrom resulted in the deaths of 49 Jews, with 92 suffering severe injuries, numerous Jewish women subjected to rape, over 500 sustaining minor injuries, and 1,500 homes being damaged. The tragedy showed why a safe haven for threatened Jews was needed, and became a rallying point for early Zionists.
Chaim Weizmann, a Zionist and a biochemist, helped Britain and the Allies produce acetone for explosives during World War I. His influence of British leaders led to the Sykes-Picot Agreement partitioning the Middle East and the Balfour Declaration supporting a Jewish state in Palestine. However, its borders were unclear.
The Sykes-Picot Agreement created the Occupied Enemy Territory Administration spanning the eastern Mediterranean -- where the Jewish state would form under British control. The agreement completely overlooked Arabs, assuring animosity from the start.
Despite facing challenges such as inhospitable terrain and diseases, waves of Aliyah (Jewish immigration to the Land of Israel) began to take place as th Jews sought to seek safety from violence. From 1880 to 1940, the Jewish population in the area surged from 20,000 to approximately 450,000, implementing impressive infrastructures as they settled.
The influx of Jewish people and the diminishing Arab power and land angered the local Arabs, leading to continuous violent and deathly riots in the region.
The 1930s brought desperate Jewish refugees fleeing Nazism in Europe, but Britain limited immigration. The Jewish Agency smuggled in thousands, but thousands more were still denied, even under threat of death. British authorities faced pressure from both the Jews and the Arabs.
In 1947 the United Nations voted to end the British Mandate, ending British control of the area and giving Israel independence.
33 countries, including the US and USSR voted in favor.
13 countries, including Iraq, Iran, Egypt, and Saudi Arabia, opposed the proposal.
Israel's independence incited a war with the Arabs. Nearly 2,000 were killed in the first six months alone.
Controversially, Israel's Plan Dalet, launched by future Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion, allowed peaceful Arabs to remain under Jewish rule but removed resisting Arabs. Some criticize this as forcibly ensuring a Jewish majority, not defense.
By the war's end, over 700,000 Palestinian refugees were displaced. Israel's Arab population was now only 20%.
In 1956, Moshe Dayan, an Israeli military leader, gave an eulogy for Roi Rotberg, who died after an attack from Gaza, that would become Israel’s Gettysburg Address and shape the country’s persisting worldview.
“We mustn’t flinch from the hatred that accompanies and fills the lives of hundreds of thousands of Arabs, who live around us and are waiting for the moment when their hands may claim our blood. We mustn’t avert our eyes, lest our hands be weakened. That is the decree of our generation. That is the choice of our lives -- to be willing and armed, strong and unyielding, lest the sword be knocked from our fists, and our lives severed.”
During the 1950s and '60s, Palestinian militants, referred to as the fedayeen, conducted frequent raids, leading up to the 1967 Six Day War. Israel's success in this conflict captured new territories, solidified its military might, and marked a shift towards military leaders assuming the role of prime minister in Israel.
Equality issues started to emerge among Jews, as early Ashkenazi immigrants were joined by diverse Sephardic, Haredi, and Mizrachi Jews. Their stark cultural differences led to divisions.
With the increased establishment of the more religious Mizrachi Jews, politics also took on a more religious tone to attract voters. Israel transformed from its secular Zionist principles into a society that embraced religious and militaristic values.
The Yom Kippur War took place in 1973 between Israel and a coalition of Arab states led by Egypt and Syria. Launched on the Jewish holy day of Yom Kippur, the surprise attack initially caught Israel off guard and led to intense fighting on multiple fronts. The war ended with a ceasefire and a recognition of the Israeli military's vulnerability.
In 1977, Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin and Egyptian President Anwar Sadat signed the Camp David Accords, a peace deal that ended a state of war between the two nations and earned them both the Nobel Peace Prize.
In 1982, Israel sent troops to Lebanon to assist the Christian Phalangist Party against the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO), a militant group seeking to overthrow Israel. The operation went poorly, with heavy losses on both sides and the death of Phalangist leader Bashir Gemayel. Seeking vengeance, Phalangists then massacred 700-800 Palestinians, including women and children, in the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps, resulting in massive protests in Tel Aviv.
In the 1980s, the militant Hamas group emerged, unleashing frequent attacks on Israel, often employing Arab teenagers.
Oslo Accords in the 1990s aimed to cede Israel control of Gaza and the West Bank and create a Palestinian Authority that would take control, but violence only increased under PLO leader Yasser Arafat. More Israelis were killed by terror attacks from 1994-1996 than any other two-year span.
In 2003, Prime Minister Ariel Sharon proposed for Israel to withdraw from Gaza. In 2005, Israel withdrew and fulfilled demands to cede control of the occupied territory. Yet threats persist from Hamas, which now controls the Palestinian Authority, and from Hezbollah, a militant Islamic group based in Lebanon.
Despite perpetual conflict, Israel endures, boasting one of the world's fastest growing economies and highest concentrations of startups and venture capital.

Killers of the Flower Moon

David Grann

“The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI”

2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The United States’ westward expansion displaced indigenous people from their homes, including the Osage.
The Osage people were forced to settle in a small undesirable area in Oklahoma. However, it was discovered the land sat on one of the largest oil deposits in the country, and the tribe members became the wealthiest group of people in the country per capita by the early 1920s.
The U.S. government deemed most Osage "incompetent" and put their finances under the control of white guardians.
“Many Osage, unlike other wealthy Americans, could not spend their money as they pleased because of the federally imposed system of financial guardians.”
“The blackest chapter in the history of this State will be the Indian guardianship over these estates. There has been millions -- not thousands -- but millions of dollars of many of the Osages dissipated and spent by the guardians themselves.”
As news spread of the Osage's wealth, white Americans in the area sought to kill the tribe members and take their fortunes.
“A growing number of white Americans expressed alarm over the Osage’s wealth -- outrage that was stoked by the press.”
Mollie Burkhart, an Osage woman, is married to Ernest Burkhart, a white man.
Mollie’s sister, Minnie, dies suddenly of a strange illness.
Mollie’s sister Anna is found shot dead in a ravine. Soon after, another Osage man was found executed in the same area.
Mollie’s mother, Lizzie, dies of the same illness as Minnie.
Mollie’s sister Rita and her husband Bill both die in their house after it explodes.
Mollie knows her family is being murdered, and she might be next.
Mollie’s worsening diabetes condition was actually her being poisoned.
Officially, 20-30 Osage Indians were murdered for their wealth from 1921-1926. This is now known as the Osage Reign of Terror.
“The world’s richest people per capita were becoming the world’s most murdered.”
Federal investigators from the Bureau of Investigation arrive to probe the Osage murders, which extends beyond Mollie's family.
The bureau is headed by a young J. Edgar Hoover, who wants to use the case to build the bureau’s reputation.
Hoover appoints a former Texas Ranger, Tom White, to lead the investigation.
White's team went undercover and enlisted outlaws to aid the investigation and learn of the corruption in the Osage community.
Mollie's uncle-in-law, William K. Hale, is a prominent former rancher now working as deputy sheriff. Hale has significant influence over the community, and seems to control everything and everyone, including many Osage fortunes.
Investigators realize Hale orchestrated a plot to kill off Mollie's family to get their oil money. Mollie's husband Burkhart is also revealed to be in on Hale's plot the entire time.
Burkhart eventually confesses after the guilt weighs on him. White confronts Hale with the evidence, and Hale is convicted and sentenced to life.
“It is a question in my mind whether this jury is considering a murder case or not. The question for them to decide is whether a white man killing an Osage is murder -- or merely cruelty to animals.”
Mollie divorced Burkhart after his confession.
White retires from the Bureau and becomes the warden at Hale's prison.
The Bureau is now known as the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI).
The author conducted extensive research -- going through archives and interviews of Osage descendants -- and found that the FBI did not solve the majority of the Osage murders and covered up its true scale.
Hundreds of Osage were murdered in nearly over 20 years, not just 20-30 over five years as the official records state.
“History is a merciless judge.”
This tragedy is unknown to most Americans and not taught in school.
Though justice can't always be obtained, "the blood cries out from the ground".

The Last Lecture

Randy Pausch and Jeffrey Zaslow

Facing terminal illness, beloved professor Randy Pausch delivers a life-affirming last lecture.

2.4 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The author Randy Pausch, a Carnegie Mellon computer science professor, had to deliver an actual "last lecture" after being diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer.
Randy could have backed out of the lecture to focus on his health, but as a lifelong teacher he wanted one last chance to impart wisdom.
Despite his terminal diagnosis, he maintained a positive spirit and inspiring tone. Over several weeks, he poured himself into creating his lecture presentation.
Randy’s doctor’s phrasing of his diagnosis affected Randy deeply. Instead of saying “you will die in three to six months” the doctor said, “you have three to six months of good health.” This made Randy feel optimistic and reminded him to enjoy life fully, even if it's short.
Randy chose to undergo the most intensive and painful treatment to maximize his time with his family.
The main focus of his lecture was about achieving childhood dreams and living a fulfilling life.
Through Randy’s personal examples, he demonstrates the power of perseverance can make many of your childhood dreams come true.
Early in his life, Randy achieved his dream of winning the biggest stuffed animal at the carnival.
Randy dreamed of being an astronaut, but his poor eyesight disqualified him, but in 2001, he finally got to experience zero gravity by conducting an experiment on NASA's "Weightless Wonder" plane.
A Star Trek fan, Randy got to meet William Shatner through Randy’s work in virtual reality.
Randy’s dream to be a Disney Imagineer came true when Disney hired him as a computer science consultant.
Randy credited his positive childhood and his parents’ encouragement for him and his sister to be imaginative as major reasons for his fulfilling life.
Randy found teaching very rewarding. Beyond just achieving his own dreams, he also found purpose in empowering others. He hopes his work (especially, Alice, a programming education tool) will continue to help millions learn.
Much advice in life seems obvious and cliché at first, but often these platitudes persist because they contain true wisdom.
"Always work hard" seems tired, but diligence brings results. Randy got tenure early by working late Friday nights, proving hard work pays off.
"Fix the disease, not the symptom" means tackle root issues, not surface problems. Randy’s friend was in debt and meditated on Tuesdays to deal with the stress. Randy suggested working a part-time job on Tuesdays instead of meditating. The friend’s debt dissipated soon after taking his advice.
"Don't be afraid to fail" encourages perseverance, ambition, and bold ideas. Randy gives awards to students with the biggest failures, believing their ambition will eventually bring success.
“Receive and give honest feedback” will lead to improvement. A mentor bluntly told Randy his arrogance would hold him back. Randy appreciated the candor and tried to provide students similarly constructive criticism.
“People are more important than things” means don’t be upset if your sick nephew throws up on the car seat, be worried about his health. Realizing this will lead to better relationships and happier lives.
“Be a Tigger, not an Eeyore” means being positive and looking for the good and fun in things.
“Obstacles are opportunities” means to see challenges as chances to demonstrate desire and perseverance.
“Be grateful” means showing appreciation when someone gives you their time and attention. It benefits both parties.
“Be both optimistic and realistic” suggests that if you don’t balance the two, you might be disappointed. With Randy’s diagnosis, he stayed upbeat but acknowledged the setbacks.
Randy reveals that the purpose of his last lecture is to be a legacy for his children. The idea that he won’t be there as they grow up and he’ll miss the important milestones in their lives devastates him.
Randy tried to make his last months with his family together as meaningful as possible.
He took his young sons to Disney World and swam with dolphins to create lasting memories.
Knowing his baby daughter Chloe was only 18 months old and wouldn't remember her, he wrote her letters to read later and devoted part of his lecture to expressing his love for her.
Randy doesn't want to dictate his children’s paths, but help discover them. Randy suggests to pursue your own dreams, not others' expectations.
Randy hopes that through this lecture, he can help others make their childhood dreams come true.
Dreams come true from living right, not chasing them.

Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

Sheryl Sandberg

Former Meta/Facebook COO provides solutions for battling inequality and empowering women to rise to the top.

3.3 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

There has been progress in gender equality, but we still have a lot of work to do.
In 1970, women earned 59 cents for every dollar men earned in similar jobs. In 2010, it was still only 77 cents.
Research shows both men and women discriminate against women when assessing performance and potential of equal employees.
Inequality lingers at home -- raising children is still seen primarily as a woman's job.
46% of men expect their spouses to pause their careers to raise children.
Women are alarmingly absent from leadership roles. Only 4% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women, despite women earning 57% of undergraduate and 60% of master's degrees in the U.S.
Leadership ambition gap is a major factor in inequality in leadership roles. Gender stereotypes discourage women's ambition. Women are expected not to be career-oriented, and are labeled "bossy" if they are, and society/media tell women they'll have to choose between career and family, which results in less career commitment.
Studies of Yale/Harvard alumni shows that 20 years after graduating, only 50% of women are still employed full-time vs 90% of men.
We must stop treating discussions of inequality as complaining or demanding special treatment. Open discussion raises awareness and encourages more people to address the issue.
Studies show that women tend to suffer from self-doubt more than men.
Men tend to be overly confident, overestimate their own skills, credit successes to their own skills, and blame failures on external factors.
Women tend to judge themselves more harshly than reality, credit successes to luck, and blame failures on their own flaws.
Women tend to be more affected by impostor syndrome (feeling success is undeserved or illegitimate).
We need to acknowledge the insecurity women are facing, and encourage and support women.
Women must lean in to better their careers, don’t sit back.
Self-doubt causes women to miss opportunities they see themselves as unqualified for. Seize opportunities, don’t wait for the perfect ones.
To gain confidence, sometimes you need to fake it until you make it.
The career landscape today is not like ladders (linear) anymore, but jungle gyms with multiple ways to the top.
Define your long-term goal (dreams that guide what work you care about) and short-term goals (areas of improvement).
Evaluate career opportunities based on growth potential -- it is the most important factor.
Gender biases and stereotypes are still prevalent. Ambitious and decisive men are praised while such women are seen as unlikeable. However, trying to fit stereotypes by being less assertive impedes careers, thus women face a lose-lose situation.
A 2003 study gave one group a case study of a successful entrepreneur named Heidi. An identical case study with an entrepreneur named Howard was given to a second group. Students respected Heidi and Howard equally, but found Heidi less likable.
The author had a demeaning encounter as a congressional page when Tip O'Neill, an American politician, patronizingly patted her on the head and asked if she was a "pom-pom girl," implying she was there to cheer on the men.
When negotiating, women must carefully balance assertiveness with "feminine" traits and overcome biases just to get fair treatment.
Authentic and honest communication is essential at work. Leaders should elicit genuine feedback and show appreciation for them when given.
Feedback should be authentic and appropriate, with consideration for people’s feelings.
Make "I" statements (e.g., “I feel/believe that…”). Avoid direct accusations (e.g., “You’re wrong”).
Mentors are crucial for women's career advancement, but it’s more difficult for women to find mentors than men.
Male leaders are often uncomfortable mentoring young women out of fear of misinterpretation of the relationship, and women leaders are rare.
Exceptional performances and occasional well-prepared questions can help establish a relationship with a mentor. Do not ask “Will you be my mentor?” without previous rapport. Attract, don’t accost.
Equality at home is important for women's careers.
Women are usually the "designated parent" -- the person who does most of the childcare.
Research shows 60% of educated women stopped working mainly because of their husbands.
Research shows mothers spend 40% more time on childcare and 30% more time on chores than fathers.
Laws often prevent paternity leaves to be longer than maternity leaves, thus deepening the inequality.
Men are often penalized in the business world for prioritizing family over career.
Husbands’ lack of participation drives women from the workforce.
The mother should get the father involved and share childcare and housework with the father. Be patient if the father does the work incorrectly at first.
Women often damage careers by declining opportunities before having children, assuming a future of an impossible work-family balance. This leaves them in worse positions when balancing career and childcare after the baby comes, since the less rewarding career seems not worth returning to after maternity leave.
Ambitiously lean in and pursue every career opportunity. Don’t compromise professional goals for family duties.
Companies should focus on results rather than time spent working.
No one can do it all. Find your priorities and work on being sustainable and fulfilling instead of perfect.
Set boundaries at work, delegate (if possible) chores and childcare at home.
Research shows delegating childcare does not negatively affect children’s development.
Tina Fey says the rudest question people regularly ask women but not men is, “How do you do it all?”, which assumes only women need to balance family and career.
Women must support each other, but this hasn't always happened:
The "queen bee" phenomenon describes how organizations would typically permit only a single woman to reach senior leadership status. Feeling threatened by the presence of other women, this woman would often deliberately obstruct the advancement of her women colleagues.
The first female Navy submarine officer said while the male crew respected her, their wives resented her.
Marissa Mayer faced intense scrutiny when she became Yahoo's CEO in her third trimester. Stay-at-home moms often judge career-focused women.
As more women lean into their careers, we reshape the power dynamics in our world, opening doors for all.

The Lean Startup

Eric Ries

"How Today's Entrepreneurs Use Continuous Innovation to Create Radically Successful Businesses"

2.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

In traditional companies, the management strategy consists of developing plans, setting milestones, delegating tasks, and measuring results. This strategy works for established companies that have a long history to know what works and what doesn’t. This strategy does not work for a startup because startups don’t have the data to predict the future -- everything is unknown. Startups need to focus on finding the right metrics and remain flexible and adaptable to change directions quickly.
For any start-up, the ultimate objective is to establish a profitable and sustainable business model. Having great plans and efficient execution are futile if the business is not sustainable. Are people willing to pay for your product? Are they willing to pay for it years later?
Use validated learning to determine if people are willing to pay for a product. Validated learning is a process of constant learning through a scientific approach in which hypotheses are tested. Talking to real potential customers is a good way to conduct validated learning.
Zappos tested its hypothesis about customers' willingness to buy shoes online by displaying photographs of shoes in a fake web shop.
Founders create their products on a leap of faith. Since there is no concrete evidence for success, they must test their assumptions about a product's value and growth hypotheses. The value hypothesis tests whether early adopters will embrace the product, while the growth hypothesis tests if the product will find a bigger market.
Facebook was able to validate both hypotheses with its active registered user base and explosive user-activation rates, leading to early investor confidence and millions in funding.
Create a minimal viable product (MVP) to get customer feedback as quickly as you can. Do not spend too much time on developing a polished product without knowing if there’s actually a demand for it.
The MVP should be as simple as possible and contain only what is needed for customers to experience how the product would work. The MVP can be a simple prototype or even a smoke test, such as pretending to sell a fake product, or in Dropbox’s case, creating a video to demonstrate how the product works.
Startups should develop products quickly and iteratively through the build-measure-learn (BML) loop to advance their product.
Build: build a simple MVP or smoke test
Measure: gather feedback from customers; obtain overall data but talk to individual customers as well
Learn: use the info you collected to generate ideas to better your product; go back to the build stage to create an improved version and repeat the loop
Use split-tests to determine if a feature is of value or waste. A feature of value generates more revenue or customer retention, a feature of waste doesn’t. Split-tests involve creating two versions of the product, one with the new feature and one without it, and measuring customer response.
To avoid becoming a "zombie startup" that persists in selling an unwanted product, entrepreneurs should be willing to pivot and make fundamental changes to their business.
Pivots can involve redefining the core value of a product, pursuing a different customer segment, or changing the main sales channel.
Pivots should be tested through hypotheses and data. To facilitate this process, entrepreneurs should hold regular pivot meetings to assess their business model and determine whether a pivot is needed.
Groupon was an activism and fundraising platform before it pivoted to the e-commerce marketplace it is today.
There are three engines of growth to avoid stagnation: sticky, viral, and paid. You can use all three engines concurrently, but it is more effective to focus on one engine to get more measurable results.
Sticky: retain existing customers by offering new features/improving service
Viral: word-of-mouth marketing, your customers do the work
Paid: paid investments in marketing; important to ensure user lifetime value is lower than cost per user acquisition
To achieve a sustainable business model, it is important to find the right core metrics (e.g., number of customers, customer recommendation rate) and avoid vanity metrics, which are misleading and not helpful in achieving long-term success.
The core metrics will vary from startup to startup.
Metrics such as social media attention or number of hours worked are vanity metrics and should not be used as indicators of success.
Cohort analysis (e.g., comparing a specific metric from this year vs last year) can be useful to compare how different groups of customers behave over time and determine whether metrics are improving or stagnating.

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

Marie Kondō

A transformative guide to decluttering and organizing your home, bringing joy and simplicity into your life.

1.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Marie Kondo’s KonMari method will not only help you tidy up your home, but also help you to make better decisions, be healthier, and live the life you want.
The first step to tidying up is to visualize the space and life you want. This visualization should be as detailed as possible. It should include details like your morning routine to the color of your bedsheets.
A tidy space is a place where you can access what you need and love efficiently, so it is important to know what you need and love. Don’t be scared to discard things you don’t love. Many items you discard can probably be obtained again if you change your mind later.
Organize your space in the way that feels the most natural to you.
Focus on what to keep instead of what to discard.
Evaluate each item based on the happiness or purpose it brings you. If it doesn’t spark joy, doesn’t serve a purpose, or has served its purpose, thank the item for its past contributions, and let it go with gratitude.
Tidying up is similar to meditation. It can feel therapeutic to let go of extraneous things and improve your space. It’s like a detox of your body and mind. Some of the author’s clients actually felt physical relief from tidying up.
As you tidy up, you inevitably introspect your past as you go through old items. This exercise will force you to examine what kind of person you were, and guide you to see who you’d like to become in the future. Remove items that don’t fit the future version of yourself.
When going through your possessions, start with the easy categories (e.g., clothes, documents). End with the hard categories (e.g., sentimental items).
Do not just dump items you don’t want on other people (e.g., your family). Ask them first if they want your items.
Always aim for simplicity and order when organizing your space.
A tidy space positively affects your happiness and ability to take action. An efficient and intuitive space saves you time and reduces stress.
There’s no such thing as “born messy”. Author has helped many clients with the “born messy” mindset improve their self-perception by going through the process of tidying up.
Tidying up is not a lifetime effort. You only have to do it once, but it could take a long time (author’s clients take six months on average). However, after you’re done, it inaugurates the start of a new lifestyle.
Communicate with your possessions and space as if they’re sentient beings. This illuminates the relationships you have with them and should help you gain a more intuitive feeling of what to discard or keep.
Letting go of things can be difficult. Some questions to ask to help you decide are “Has it served its purpose?”, “Does it make me happy?”, “Why/when/how did I get it?”, “How often do I see it or use it?”

The Magic of Thinking Big

David J. Schwartz

Think big and achieve greatness with this practical and inspiring guide by one of the foremost experts on motivation.

4.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Unwavering belief in yourself is the key to success in all aspects of life.
It generates the skill and energy needed to accomplish your goals.
People who believe they can succeed are more likely to achieve their goals than those who doubt themselves.
Belief triggers the power to act and makes others place confidence in you.
“Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to solution.”
Remind yourself regularly that you are better than you think. Believe big to achieve big, as your success is determined by the size of your belief.
Follow a personal self-development plan focused on observing the attitudes and techniques of successful people to make positive thinking and habits natural.
Excusitis is a thought disease that causes people to make excuses for their failures rather than taking responsibility. The most common types are:
Health excusitis ("my health isn't good")
Intelligence excusitis ("I am not smart enough")
Age excusitis ("I'm too old or too young")
Luck excusitis ("I have bad luck")
Focus on assets, not limitations, and refuse to talk yourself out of opportunities. Replace excuses with optimism and action. Own your circumstances, believe in your abilities, think creative solutions, and persist through challenges.
Fear is a real and powerful force that holds many people back, but you can conquer fear through decisive action. Isolate your specific fear, then take appropriate action.
If you fear failing a test, use your worrying time to study.
If you fear you have a bad appearance, make an effort to look your best.
If you fear losing a customer, work harder at giving better service.
If you fear people, recognize that all people are more alike than different. Develop an understanding attitude rather than becoming pessimistic.
Self-confidence comes from properly managing your thoughts and memories. Deposit only positive thoughts (achievements, compliments, etc.) in your "mind bank" and withdraw only positive thoughts. Don't dwell on past failures or unpleasant experiences.
Success requires ethical behavior.
Do what your conscience tells you is right to avoid guilt that undermines your confidence.
Act confidently and your feelings of confidence will follow.
Strategies include sitting up front, making eye contact, walking briskly, speaking up at meetings, and smiling big.
Address problematic situations rather than avoiding them. Taking action defeats fear. Inaction strengthens fear.
John's neighbor sees himself as a poor man destined to live in a run-down apartment forever. In contrast, John sees his current struggles as temporary, and envisions himself becoming an executive living in a nice suburban home in the future. Who will achieve more success?
“Big thinkers are specialists in creating positive, forward-looking, optimistic pictures in their own minds and in the minds of others. To think big, we must use words and phrases that produce big, positive mental images.”
People often let small, petty issues get in the way of their success (e.g., worrying about minor speaking mistakes rather than having an important message to share, arguing over unimportant matters instead of preserving peace).
Keep your eyes on the big goals, ask "is this really important?", avoid triviality traps, use positive and expansive language, see the future as promising, surround yourself with big thinkers, and turn mistakes into learning opportunities.
The secret of successful people lies in honing creative thinking, not memorizing information.
Creative thinking is finding new and improved ways to do things. It is not limited to certain occupations or super-intelligent people. Examples include solving family problems, keeping employees happy, or getting a child into college.
To think creatively, first believe that a solution is possible. This mindset enables your mind to start thinking of ways to make it happen. Disbelief cripples creative thinking.
Avoid phrases like "can't be done". Be open and experimental with ideas. Don't let tradition and routine freeze your mind.
Ask "How can I do better?" and "How can I do more?" Regularly questioning yourself in this way sparks creative answers for improvement and increased capacity.
Listen to others' ideas to fuel your own creative thinking. Big leaders spend more time listening than talking.
Diversify your life and challenge yourself with new ventures beyond your usual routine.
Capture ideas when they strike and review them regularly. Letting ideas die means wasting the fruits of your thinking. Refine and develop the most promising ideas.
“You are what you think you are.”
Your self-image and thoughts determine how you act, which in turn shapes how others see and treat you. If you think you're inferior, you will be inferior.
Upgrading your appearance makes you feel more confident and causes others to perceive you as prosperous and important.
View your job as vitally important and you will receive mental signals on improving, leading to promotions.
Give yourself frequent positive pep talks to build courage and enthusiasm that inspires your team.
Continually ask yourself "Is this how an important person thinks?" to improve your thought patterns and behavior to match successful people.
Cultivate positivity by crafting a self-adulation "commercial" highlighting your unique strengths. Daily repetition of this mental pep talk builds confidence and propels you toward success.
Your environment (home, work, social) shapes your thinking and personality, so ensure it is of the highest quality and has positive influences. Avoid negative people who will suppress your ambition. Seek advice from successful people who encourage your growth.
Spend weekends and time off constructively doing stimulating activities to tune up your thinking. Those who bore themselves impair their minds.
Don't participate in gossip. It is poison. Stay positive when discussing people.
Invest in quality goods and services, which pay off better in the long run than inferior products.
Three key attitudes for success:
Be enthusiastic and interested.
Make others feel important by appreciating them.
Put service first. Give people more than what’s expected. Money will come later.
To succeed, you need the support of other people, so you must think right toward them.
Make people want to help you. Take the initiative to meet people, accept their differences, focus on their positive qualities, and let them talk about themselves.
US President Lyndon Johnson made an effort to memorize everyone’s names and praise everyone’s achievements.
When you encounter setbacks, don't blame others. Ask what you can do better next time and stay positive.
Ideas alone are not enough, you must act on them to bring success.
Don't procrastinate and wait for perfect conditions that will never come. Take action now and meet obstacles as they arise.
Consistently taking action builds confidence and overcomes fear.
Be a crusader who volunteers for assignments to demonstrate initiative rather than waiting to be told what to do.
Study setbacks to learn from them and use the lessons to achieve future success.
Don't blame bad luck. Be self-critical to identify faults and weaknesses, then take action to correct them and improve so you can avoid repeating mistakes.
Persist towards your goals but also experiment with new approaches if you hit obstacles.
Set clear, ambitious goals for what you want to achieve in 10 years across work, home, and social aspects of your life to give direction and motivation.
Break down the 10-year goals into smaller monthly and daily goals and tasks to make progress incrementally.
Stay focused on your ultimate goals but be adaptable to take detours when needed without losing sight of where you want to go.
Invest in educating and improving your mind through courses, books, etc. to build your abilities.
View everything you do, however small, as a step toward your bigger goals to develop the habit of purposeful action.
Effective leaders think from the perspective of others, considering their views and mindset, which makes the leader more influential.
Leaders should apply the "be human" rule by putting people first and treating them respectfully like they would want to be treated.
Leaders should always think and exemplify high standards which subordinates will follow over time.
Great leaders spend a lot of constructive solitary time thinking, planning, and developing solutions without distractions.
How to effectively provide criticism:
Talk to them privately.
Praise what they’re doing well.
Point out the one thing at the moment that they could improve on and help them get there.
Praise again on their strengths or accomplishments

Man's Search for Meaning

Viktor E. Frankl

A timeless classic that explores the human search for meaning in life, based on the author's own experiences as a Holocaust survivor and his development of logotherapy.

2.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived Nazi concentration camps, used his experiences to develop a psychotherapy theory called logotherapy, which emphasizes the importance of finding personal meaning in life in order to survive and succeed.
When prisoners first arrived at the camp, they entered a phase of shock and disbelief. They also had a delusion of reprieve -- they believed that they would be okay despite the horrific stories they had heard.
The prisoners were terribly frightened by what was happening and could not manage the emotional experience of watching others being punished. Some eventually lost hope and saw death as a relief, considering suicide as a way out. Some purposely grabbed the electrical fence encircling the camps.
In the next phase, the prisoners experienced apathy. They became emotionally dull and focused solely on survival. The prisoners' thoughts and conversations revolved around basic needs such as food and clothing, rather than love or desires.
When there were many deaths due to a typhus outbreak, prisoners did not grieve, and instead saw it as an opportunity to obtain more food and essential items from the deceased.
We tend to live for the future. We are always looking forward to making plans and meeting goals. However, many prisoners stopped imagining a future because there was no foreseeable end to their time in the camp, leaving them feeling as though their lives were already over. They felt like they merely existed.
For those who survived the concentration camps, they entered the third phase -- adjusting to a normal life. This is often difficult. Upon release, prisoners felt disbelief and were unable to experience pleasure or joy.
Many found their families and towns destroyed. Furthermore, prisoners hoped for compassion, but often encountered a lack of understanding and empathy from people who had never been in concentration camps. Some prisoners felt bitter and sought vengeance against their former captors. However, after a while, most prisoners were able to enjoy their lives again and were grateful for their survival.
Prisoners in the concentration camps survived by focusing on their "inner" lives, such as imagining loved ones, their future after release, reminiscing about the past, and finding happiness in memories. They also found solace in nature, humor, and small gatherings during lunch breaks.
While we cannot control the external circumstances of our lives, we can control our responses to them, and finding meaning in our experiences can help us find happiness and fulfillment. The author himself found meaning in helping and comforting his fellow prisoners, even under the most dire circumstances.
We are always presented with opportunities to make choices. Some prisoners accepted their fate while others were determined to maintain even the tiniest freedoms, and grabbed any opportunity to make decisions. Their spiritual life, for example, was something that couldn’t be taken away from them. Although they might have to abandon their rituals, they could still decide to live up to high moral standards, such as by sharing their bread with those in greater need even when they themselves are starving.
According to logotherapy, our motivation to act comes from the meaning we find in life. The author observed in the concentration camps that those who could maintain meaning were stronger, more resilient, and had better chances of survival than those who had lost it.
When we can't find meaning or purpose in our lives, we feel an existential vacuum, a negative feeling of emptiness.
We don’t first find our life's purpose in order to make the right choices. Instead, the purpose is determined by the actions we take that we believe are the right choices and that we accept responsibility for. Many concentration camp prisoners found a purpose in life by making choices such as looking for beauty in nature or helping others in greater need.
The meaning of life is unique to each individual and their circumstances. It has no restrictions and can be personal or involve social conscience.
The author’s focus on his life purpose -- educating the world about the Holocaust experience and the psychological lessons learned from it -- helped him find the will to survive.
Logotherapy offers techniques to help people with fears or mental disorders. Logotherapy focuses on internal rather than external factors to help patients realize that they are in control of their fears and anxieties. One technique it uses is paradoxical intention, which involves doing the thing that one is afraid of in order to overcome the fear. For example, a person who is afraid of blushing in public can intentionally try to blush as much as possible in front of others to lose the fear.

Master Your Emotions

Thibaut Meurisse

“A Practical Guide to Overcome Negativity and Better Manage Your Feelings”

3.1 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Your emotions exist for a reason, even the negative ones. In the hunter-gatherer days, emotions like fear and anxiety were crucial to help us survive in a dangerous world full of wild predators. The world is much safer now, but our emotions still exist and we all should learn to manage them.
Your brain has evolved to keep you alive, not happy.
Caring for emotions means caring for your body too.
Studies show lack of sleep is connected to anxiety, depression, and higher mortality risk.
Improve your sleep by following a schedule, using blackout curtains, and avoiding electronic devices before bed.
Research shows that regular exercise improves mood and longevity. Even easy exercises like walking can have an outsized impact on your health and emotions.
Practice slow and deep breathing to achieve calmness and reduce anxiety.
Meditation is highly beneficial. It makes you aware of your endless thoughts and separates you from them, diminishing their power.
Your ego refers to the way you see yourself and the stories you tell yourself about who you are.
The ego creates a self-centered narrative that pushes you to feel important and superior, and makes you vulnerable to threats to your self-image. The ego is never satisfied and is always seeking to bolster itself.
To break free from your ego, realize it isn’t real. It’s an arbitrary product of your beliefs. It is a narrative in your head, not the truth. The more you understand this, the less power it wields.
For one person their ego might be tied to having many friends, for another it might be built on having expensive cars.
You are not your emotions. They are temporary states that come and go, not your essence.
Realizing that emotions are not part of your core will allow you to gain power over them and evaluate them objectively to understand where they came from.
Negative emotions offer clues about inner issues to address.
Anger may hint at unresolved issues like trauma or resentment.
Fear indicates moving beyond your comfort zone, which can be a good signal since it means you’re on your way to avoid stagnancy.
Procrastination can stem from fear of failure.
“Resentment often builds up when you fail to communicate effectively with the people you resent.”
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”
When you’re faced with a problem (the weather is bad, work is overwhelming, you’re out of coffee, etc.), realize it’s a neutral event given meaning only by your expectations. Events have no inherent meaning, they just exist -- you interpret them as good or bad.
Problems become powerless when you stop imposing meaning upon them and have no expectations (e.g., “In order to be happy, I need XYZ.”)
If you’re sad because it’s raining and you wanted to go out, it’s because you expected it to be sunny. This sadness will subside if you accept that weather events like rain are neutral and are not inherently sad (farmers are probably ecstatic about the rain).
Happiness is a choice you make every day, it is not shaped by external events.
“Your attitude towards life influences your happiness, not what happens to you.”
One method to think about your emotions more clearly is by writing them down. For each negative emotion:
Ask if you’d feel differently if you had a different opinion or outlook.
Ask if there’s something you can do to limit the negative emotion (e.g., reading less news or social media).
Write down your accomplishments, no matter how small (e.g., chores and errands), and collect them all together. This will boost your positivity.
Take action on what you can change, accept what you can’t.
Visualization can alter your subconscious and emotions. Vividly picture success or peaceful scenes to create positive emotions.
What you verbalize can affect your emotions. Eliminate negative language (e.g., “I can’t”). Repeat positive affirmations (e.g. “I will!”) for five minutes daily -- they will sink in over time and impact your mindset and happiness.
To be truly happy, prioritize yourself as the most important person.
“You are the most important person in the world… The same goes for every other human on the planet… You incorrectly assume, often unconsciously, people think about you significantly more often than they actually do. In fact, for the most part, people do not care about you. While it may sound depressing, it’s actually liberating. It means you don’t have to worry so much [about] what people think of you.”
Your opinion of yourself matters more than anyone else’s.
“You’re not responsible for people’s thoughts. In fact, what people think of you is none of your business. Your job is to express your personality the best way you can while having the purest intent possible. In short, your responsibility is to do your best to be your true self. Then, people may or may not like you, and either way is fine. Remember, the most influential people such as presidents and statesmen and women are often hated by millions.”
Cultivate self-awareness, responsibility, honesty, and integrity to gain self-respect, which also earns others' respect.
Harness the power of your emotions by viewing them as tools to navigate life's challenges and reach your goals.
Lack of motivation often stems from lacking a compelling vision. To stay motivated, deeply reevaluate your vision, surround yourself with motivated people, and consume inspiring media.
To get unstuck, write down in a list all the tasks that need to be completed, and just pick one to do.
Some issues can’t be fixed by yourself. Never hesitate to seek professional help if needed.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

Lori Gottlieb

A behind-the-scenes look at a therapist's own struggles that reveals the power of therapy.

5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Therapy is about self-understanding and taking responsibility to change your own life.
The therapist does not give instructions but guides you to understand and change yourself, not others.
The therapist’s role isn't being better at life than the patients. Instead they provide objectivity, insights from other cases, and a safe space.
Clinical psychologists are therapists. Psychiatrists focus more on medication.
Therapy changes relationships with the past. You can't alter it but can accept it, and make the most of the present.
Expecting family, friends, or partners to rectify the past will leave you stuck.
“In therapy we aim for self-compassion (Am I human?) versus self-esteem (a judgment: Am I good or bad?).”
“It’s impossible to get to know people deeply and not come to like them.”
Insights to the life of being a therapist:
Therapists often feel uncomfortable seeing patients outside work. Patients may feel surprised catching a glimpse of the therapist's imperfect life, and therapists have lost patients because of this.
Due to confidentiality, therapists have to grief alone when a patient dies.
Therapists often let calls go to voicemail because they don’t want patients to feel unwanted if there’s not enough time to talk.
Patients sometimes walk out of therapy, especially in couples therapy.
Patients may skip appointments to punish or express anger at the therapist.
Therapists often sit close to the door in case things escalate.
Therapists will sometimes not know what to say.
Therapists have a harder time finding a therapist for themselves as they need to find someone they don’t already know in their professional network.
You may need to try several therapists before you find the right one. Try using PsychologyToday.com.
Research shows the connection to the therapist is more important than their credentials.
"What brings you here today?" That's how the author, a therapist, starts each first session. The answer to the question is the presenting problem, which could be grief, panic attacks or just feeling stuck, but it's rarely the real issue.
A patient named John seemed to have straightforward problems like insomnia and stress at work, but he didn’t reveal his real problems to the author until almost six months later, which involved tragic events from childhood and adulthood that led him to be unable to grieve or trust.
Patients often start therapy clinging to unhelpful narratives about their problems.
“Part of getting to know yourself is to unknow yourself -- to let go of the limiting stories you’ve told yourself about who you are so that you aren’t trapped by them, so you can live your life and not the story you’ve been telling yourself about your life.”
We often aren’t aware of our real problem, so we repeat patterns causing unhappiness. Identifying feelings lets us respond to them healthily, but ignoring them leaves us lost, and suppressing them risks unexpected eruption.
When the author sought therapy herself after a painful breakup, she arrived with her own narrative.
She thought she was anxious and depressed because her ex was a “selfish sociopath” for suddenly leaving her because he didn’t want to live with her son.
In her first sessions, she tried to prove this narrative, recounting her ex's questionable behavior. She wanted her therapist, Wendell, to validate it so she could make sense of the breakup.
Wendell refused, seeing it as avoidance. Like many patients, her simplistic narrative kept her from examining her deeper issues.
Losses have layers -- the surface loss and the deeper meaning. A breakup is rarely just about the other person. It also represents failure, rejection, betrayal, fear of the unknown, and unmet expectations.
The five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) were originally developed for terminal patients accepting death. Applied more widely, expecting people to reach "acceptance" can make them feel worse. The key to improvement is integrating the loss -- maintaining a bond with the loss yet still fully living on.
We naturally want to feel positive, so we try to put up defenses when we delve into issues during therapy that could bring us pain. Part of the therapist's job is to see through the defenses to the real, concealed problems.
The author fixated on her ex's flaws to avoid deeper issues after their breakup.
Her therapist noticed a clue -- she lamented her life being "half over." He realized she was grieving more than just the lost relationship. On a deeper level, she was distraught about loneliness and death itself.
“Anger is the go-to feeling for most people because it’s outward-directed -- angrily blaming others can feel deliciously sanctimonious. But often it’s only the tip of the iceberg, and if you look beneath the surface, you’ll glimpse submerged feelings you either weren’t aware of or didn’t want to show: fear, helplessness, envy, loneliness, insecurity. And if you can tolerate these deeper feelings long enough to understand them and listen to what they’re telling you, you’ll not only manage your anger in more productive ways, you also won’t be so angry all the time.”
Lack of human connection is a common underlying issue in therapy.
The author's own fear of isolation rose when her relationship ended. She is scared that with middle age looming, she would not find love again.
Human touch reduces blood pressure and stress, elevates moods, and strengthens immune systems. Infants deprived of touch can die, whereas regular touch in adulthood correlates with extended lifespans.
“We all have a deep yearning to understand ourselves and be understood. When I see couples in therapy, often one or the other will complain, not ‘you don't love me’ but ‘you don't understand me.’”
Forging a bond with the therapist helps patients heal since the sessions offer intimate conversations often lacking in modern life. The therapist helps to reframe the patient's narratives so they can progress in feeling better.
Lack of purpose or meaning is a common underlying issue in therapy.
The author struggled with the obligation of a book contract. She felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety because of her lack of connection to the book’s topic.
Recognizing the project's disconnect to her, she faced the risk of losing her identity and purpose tied to writing. Eventually, she chose to forgo the contract, returning the advance, and wrote Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, a book far more meaningful to her.
Lack of freedom or feeling trapped is a common underlying issue in therapy.
The author's decision to break her book contract addressed the issue of feeling confined.
Julie, a young professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, confronted a situation beyond escape. Despite her fate, Julie chose to embrace life -- taking risks and seeking new experiences like joining a band, going on a game show, and working as a grocery store cashier.
Julie’s transformation emphasizes the power of choice even in dire situations.
“The inability to say no is largely about approval-seeking -- people imagine that if they say no, they won’t be loved by others. The inability to say yes, however -- to intimacy, a job opportunity, an alcohol program -- is more about lack of trust in oneself. Will I mess this up? Will this turn out badly? Isn’t it safer to stay where I am?”
We can find purpose and choose our responses in even the most challenging circumstances, as Viktor Frankl shows in Man’s Search for Meaning depicting his experiences as a Holocaust survivor.
Internal resistance to change often stems from a comfort found in familiarity, even within unhealthy and destructive patterns.
Charlotte struggles with alcohol dependency and a pattern of toxic relationships. Despite her efforts to break these cycles, she continued with her pattern of alcoholism and detrimental partners.
Growing up, Charlotte's parents frequently verbally abused each other. Her tumultuous upbringing shaped her understanding of love and relationship, associating it with anxiety and instability. As a result, she is drawn to unhealthy relationships.
If an addict recovers, the people around her may unconsciously undermine it, since the status quo has a "troubled person" they're used to.
At the outset of therapy, Charlotte spoke monotonously about everything and appeared completely emotionally detached, a condition known as alexithymia.
Repression of negative feelings leads to unresolved emotions, surfacing in unhealthy behaviors (e.g., drinking) or physical symptoms (e.g., loss of appetite, ulcers, panic attacks).
Many people can’t identify or express their feelings because they were discouraged to do so by their parents or society (particularly affects men).
Emotional liberation happens when patients openly express buried emotions, whether through vocal admissions, tears, or heartfelt letters, allowing individuals to confront suppressed aspects and begin the journey of resolution.
A reaction like crying or exclaiming how you feel should not be considered as a “break down” but as a breakthrough.
Stages of change: precontemplation/denial > contemplation > preparation > action > maintenance.
“Most big transformations come about from the hundreds of tiny, almost imperceptible, steps we take along the way.”
“We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.”

The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America's Wealthy

Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko

Unveils the surprising habits and strategies of everyday millionaires, providing valuable insights for achieving financial success.

3 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The book is based on extensive research by the authors into the habits and behaviors of American millionaires (individuals with a net worth of over $1 million, excluding their primary residence).
Most millionaires do not live extravagant lifestyles and do not outwardly display their wealth through material possessions like luxury cars, clothes, and homes in upscale neighborhoods.
Millionaires tend to live modestly, below their means, and often reside in middle-class communities. They drive used, reliable cars and do not wear flashy designer clothes or jewelry.
The typical millionaire owns a small business or is self-employed, generating their wealth through entrepreneurship rather than relying on a corporate salary. Only about 20% actually accumulated their wealth as employees.
Millionaires exhibit disciplined financial habits, responsible money management, and the ability to delay gratification in pursuit of long-term goals. They spend wisely and optimize their time to build wealth.
Millionaires spend more time on networking, managing finances, education and career development compared to non-millionaires who spend more leisure time on entertainment.
Millionaires accumulate their wealth slowly over many decades. Their net worth peaks in their 50s and 60s after decades of saving and investing.
Millionaires believe financial independence, not material possession, is the key to true wealth. The adult children of millionaires do not receive large inheritances. Millionaire parents emphasize hard work, education, and financial independence.
Most millionaires are self-made and did not inherit their wealth. Around 80% of millionaires can be considered first-generation millionaires.
Self-made millionaires tend to have higher levels of education, using it to secure high-paying jobs or run successful businesses.
Heirs of millionaires may have occupations that require less education or skill specialization, relying on their inherited wealth instead.
Key wealth-building strategies include entrepreneurship, choosing high-paying careers, investing wisely, and consistently saving money.
Millionaires avoid hyperconsumerism (spending lavishly on consumer goods to display wealth).
Millionaires have their financial goals clearly defined. Hyperconsumers are motivated by social status and prestige.
Millionaires are avid comparison shoppers, spending a considerable amount of time researching and comparing prices before making a significant purchase. They take advantage of sales, negotiate prices, and are not easily swayed by marketing tactics.
Millionaires have a healthy skepticism about investing in consumer goods that don't appreciate in value. They invest in assets.
Millionaires tend to spend significantly less on cars relative to their affluence, while non-millionaires often spend beyond their means to project a higher social status. This phenomenon is called asymmetric spending.
Millionaires buy cars for utility rather than status appeal. They are mindful of the depreciation and costs associated with luxury cars, such as higher insurance premiums and maintenance expenses. They care more about reliability and quality than flashiness.
They prefer functional, affordable clothing and are not concerned with designer brands or extravagant fashion statements. Their clothing choices reflect their focus on value rather than status.
Millionaires practice frugality when it comes to leisure activities and entertainment. They enjoy low-cost or free activities such as reading, exercising, and spending time with family. They prioritize experiences and relationships over lavish outings.
The wealthy who did not earn their money are more likely to be hyperconsumers. Those with inherited wealth spend more.
The frugality of millionaires is not driven by a desire to hoard money or a lack of enjoyment in life. Instead, frugality is seen as a tool for wealth accumulation and financial independence.
Millionaires think differently about time, energy and money compared to under accumulators of wealth. Millionaires follow the principle: “You reap what you sow”. They invest time and energy in activities that generate wealth.
Millionaires typically develop multiple streams of income through business and investments. Under accumulators rely only on wages.
Education and self-improvement are vital for millionaires. They allocate time for continuous learning, attending seminars, and networking within their professional communities to enhance their knowledge and expand their opportunities.
Millionaires are meticulous in tracking their expenses, maintaining a budget, and avoiding unnecessary waste. They view money as a tool to be managed and leveraged effectively.
Millionaires tend to avoid excessive debt and focus on building assets instead. They understand the importance of living below their means and utilizing their income to invest and build wealth. They prioritize long-term financial security over short-term gratification.
Provision of economic outpatient care (financial assistance provided by parents to their adult children) can prevent the recipients from developing financial discipline and a strong work ethic. They may become accustomed to a lifestyle beyond their own means and fail to learn the necessary skills for financial independence.
Parents should focus on providing their children with the necessary tools for success, such as education, guidance, and values, rather than ongoing financial support.
Millionaires believe in nurturing self-discipline and determination in their kids.
Millionaires have their children do household chores to instill a strong work ethic from a young age.
Millionaires focus on finding one's niche and developing specialized skills or knowledge in a particular field. This niche can be in various fields such as business, entrepreneurship, technology, or a specialized profession.
By becoming experts in their specific field, they can provide unique value and command higher compensation.
Many millionaires have built successful businesses by identifying an unmet need or a gap in the market and developing specialized products or services to address that need.
It’s better to be a specialist than a generalist.
Millionaires understand that success often requires overcoming challenges and setbacks. They are persistent in pursuing their goals and are willing to adapt and innovate.

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

Carol S. Dweck

A book from a world-renowned psychologist to help you discover the power of your mindset and transform your life.

1.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Our mindset shapes our ability to learn and grow. People with a fixed mindset think our talents are innate and immutable, while those with a growth mindset believe they can develop skills through effort. Growth mindset individuals embrace change and actively engage in life, while fixed mindset individuals hinder their progress through self-imposed limitations.
Those with a fixed mindset assume that shortcomings indicate a natural lack of talent, thus they evaluate and label others as “good” or “bad”.
They limit themselves to activities they deem naturally gifted in, disregarding the potential of practice.
Constantly seeking approval, they fear being labeled as incompetent and strive to prove their talent at every opportunity.
Their self-worth is tied to their perceived abilities, leading to a need for external validation and an obsession with their self-image.
They see failures as catastrophic and confirmations of permanent incompetence.
They shy away from difficult situations as they perceive them as risky and fear potential failure.
They tend to stick to what they already know.
Individuals with a growth mindset welcome challenges and failures as they see them as opportunities for improvement.
They seek to learn from experts, constantly reassess their strategies, and strive to overcome weaknesses.
They encourage personal growth in relationships, prioritize teamwork in sports, and value open communication and feedback in business.
Children with a growth mindset believe that their intelligence can expand with hard work and perseverance.
A growth mindset leads to increased motivation, resilience, and academic success.
Basketball legend Michael Jordan experienced periods of poor performance, but because he embraced a growth mindset, rather than blaming others or external factors, he analyzed his mistakes, practiced relentlessly, and sought advice from others.
We are born with a growth mindset, but it's influenced by the role models during our childhood.
Parents significantly shape their children's mindset. Parents with a growth mindset encourage and support their children's learning, while those with a fixed mindset often judge and label their children.
Teachers play a crucial role in shaping children’s mindset. Some believe a student’s academic performance is permanent, leading the students to adopt a fixed mindset. Effective teachers who believe in their students' capacity to learn approach education differently, fostering a growth mindset in their students and enabling them to achieve better grades and overcome self-perceptions of inadequacy.
Our brain is a muscle and thus we can train it to adapt to a growth mindset.
When you make a mistake, avoid saying things like “I’m so stupid/incompetent,” instead say, “Failures happen. I will learn from it and do better next time.”
It might be difficult to have a growth mindset for every scenario, but by adopting a growth perspective in specific key areas (e.g., work, relationships), significant progress to personal fulfillment and improvement in all areas of life can still be achieved.

Models: Attract Women Through Honesty

Mark Manson

A refreshing guide to attraction as an emotional process of genuine connection rather than a logical one of faked behavior.

3.1 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Attraction is gained from inner confidence, which comes from valuing your opinions of yourself more than the opinions of others.
This manifests in dating by not adjusting your behavior to please someone more than that someone is willing to adjust their behavior to please you.
Inner confidence doesn’t mean you disregard others’ opinions entirely, it means you value your own more.
You should not need the validation of others to feel good about yourself. An unconfident man bends over backward for approval.
“Instead of thinking, ‘I wonder if she’ll like me,’ think, ‘I wonder what she’s like?’”
Many dating strategies will advise faking confidence through manipulative tactics (e.g., purposely not texting back, pretending you’re busy) -- this will not work in the long run as your facade will be exposed eventually.
Inner confidence builds attraction by signaling you are high-value, which women desire because high-value men could better provide for offspring.
We’ve evolved to value confidence. Before the age of money and fame, confidence indicated high status since low-status men had to care what others thought while high-status men did not. Thus, confidence still demonstrates high value today.
Inner confidence helps you to view rejections as beneficial -- it’s simply evidence that the woman would not be a good match, leaving you free to find someone who is.
“Rejection exists for a reason -- it’s a means to keep people apart who are not good for each other.”
“You are going to be incompatible with most of the women in the world and to hold any hopes of being highly compatible with most is an illusion of grandeur and a figment of your own narcissistic tendency.”
Inner confidence enables you to "polarize" women, compelling them to decide if they like you or not. Most women you meet will be neutral at first, polarize by asking for their number or to go on a date, improves efficiency -- if they decide no, you can move on quicker to someone else. With less fear of rejection, you'll polarize more, encounter fast rejections, and better build connections with mutually interested women.
To develop inner confidence, you must be honest through three ways:
Lifestyle: living based on your values, not others’ expectations
Boldness: becoming comfortable with our intentions
Communication: expressing our sexuality freely
Become physically desirable by paying attention to your style, fitness, posture, and voice (low, unhurried, and audible).
Develop independent interests and hobbies to enrich your life.
A key to confidence is overcoming worries of pursuing women. Worrying demonstrates inconfidence by prioritizing others' judgments. Pursuing women shows confidence by not caring about potential rejection.
You'll never fully erase worry, but you can act in spite of it to gradually grow braver. To overcome your worries:
Identify your specific worry (e.g., approaching women).
Take tiny steps that barely trigger it, keep doing that thing until it's easy, and then move to the next step (e.g., if approaching worries you, start by just smiling at women, then just say hi, then add one sentence, then more, until you build up to a full conversation).
If you don't overcome these worries, you may start to wrongfully blame women for your struggles or convince yourself you need to learn more tricks before attempting connections. True confidence comes from taking action despite worries.
True attraction involves communicating honestly by being authentically vulnerable and conveying it effectively.
Women can read your intentions -- if your behavior matches your intentions, she'll trust you. Mismatched intentions breed distrust.
Conveying vulnerability well avoids misinterpretations.
“Everything you say must be as authentic as possible. There’s no shortcut. There are no tricks. You say it because you mean it and mean it because you say it. The more nervous it makes you, the better, because it means you’re being authentic and making yourself vulnerable.”
When introducing yourself, approach her calmly from the front and smile. Use a simple, direct opening line like "Hi, I'm XYZ. I think you're beautiful so I wanted to introduce myself."
She's deciding if you're confident and well-intentioned, not analyzing your line. Needless complications suggest anxiety or dubious motives.
To carry a conversation:
Practice sharing information about yourself to establish comfort and connection.
Encourage her to share details by making interesting statements instead of direct questions, leading the conversation with observations (e.g., “I bet you’re not from around here” instead of asking where she’s from).
Show a sense of humor by focusing on your preferred style of humor and seeking someone whose humor aligns with yours; improve by studying renowned comedians.
Ask for contact information only if she seems interested. Look for signs of interest like hair touching or paying extra attention to you.
Initiative contact within 24 hours after getting her info, continue the conversation the next day, and focus on scheduling a date.
If she declines or remains unresponsive on three separate occasions, move on.
The first date should be four to six consecutive activities involving physical activity and engagement, such as walking through a market, ice skating, or sharing a meal, to establish intimacy and increase the likelihood of further intimacy.
Don’t plan inactive dates like watching movies.
Women are aroused by feeling wanted. Demonstrate your desire through touch. If she smiles, gazes at you, or moves closer, she's likely interested.
Men often miss women’s desire signals, so kiss at the first notable sign. If declined, ask why -- she may just dislike the location.
In bed, build anticipation through foreplay, direct her by moving her around, and communicate openly to learn her preferences. Laugh together if awkward moments occur. Moves things forward physically while ensuring her comfort by showing your desire and reading and respecting her signals.

The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery

Brianna Wiest

Reach your inner potential through guidance on how to overcome self-sabotaging behaviors.

4.1 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Self-sabotaging behaviors are preventing us from reaching our full potential. These make up the mountain we need to climb over.
Conquer the mountain by identifying self-sabotaging behaviors and learning from them, managing and evaluating your feelings, facing your fears and faults, and making incremental changes to be your best self.
Examples of self-sabotaging behaviors:
Uprooting: diverting attention away from real issues to focus on minor details or other things like new projects, relationships, etc.
Pride: e.g., staying in a bad marriage because you’re worried about what others will think of a divorce.
Self-sabotaging behaviors are avoidance tactics developed by our brains to protect us from deeply-rooted fears. They are a common coping mechanism we use to temporarily soothe discomfort. They are not something done consciously.
We might stay in abusive relationships if we fear being alone.
We might never begin our dream projects if we fear failure.
Unhealthy fears often stem from lacking mental strength and emotional (ME) skills.
If we lack the skill of self-love, we might rely on others for external validation because we have a fear of being disliked.
Mental strength and emotional skills deficiencies frequently develop from challenging life circumstances that prevent necessary skill-building.
Someone without love and encouragement as a child may lack self-confidence and self-love as an adult.
The behaviors we engage in to avoid facing our fears are self-sabotaging because they prevent us from developing the skills needed to overcome difficulties and achieve our potential. We need to identify our self-sabotaging behaviors and mental-emotional deficiencies, then overcome them.
Identify self-sabotaging behaviors by listing everything in your life you're unhappy with and want to change. Then make another list of the specific actions preventing those changes -- these are your self-sabotaging behaviors.
If you’re unhappy with your current job but aren’t looking for new jobs then procrastination is your self-sabotage.
Actions enabling unhealthy patterns are self-sabotaging. These patterns include:
Lacking commitment to achieve goals
Staying in poor relationships
Relying on external sources to fix your situation or for validation
Avoiding new experiences
Caring more about appearing happy than actually being happy
Fearing feelings over anything else
To identify mental and emotional skill (ME) deficiencies:
Analyze each self-sabotaging behavior and understand the fear driving it. E.g., clinging to bad relationships can stem from fearing being alone.
Link each fear to the mental and emotional skill needed to overcome it. E.g., overcoming loneliness needs the skills of independence and self-love.
Once you know the deficient mental and emotional skills behind your sabotaging behaviors, you can strategically build those skills and address the root causes prompting you to self-sabotage.
Overcoming your self-sabotaging behaviors and ME deficiencies requires you to:
Follow your intuition and let go of fears
Define your ideal self and life purpose
While self-sabotaging behaviors stem from fear, productive actions often arise from intuition -- your instinctive understanding of how to act.
“Intuitive thoughts show you how to respond; invasive (fearful) thoughts demand that you react.”
Distinguish intuitive and fearful thoughts by recognizing that fear distorts reality and pushes you to act based on worry, panic, anger, etc., while intuition manifests as moments of clarity and peace in the present.
To follow intuition over fear, tune into the present rather than the future. Listen to the thoughts that are calm and helpful rather than turbulent and destructive.
Reflect on how things make you feel as you’re doing them. Try to do more of them if you feel good about them, less if not.
“The way you are self-sabotaging: Mindlessly scrolling through social media as a way to pass the time. What your subconscious mind might want you to know: This is one of the easiest ways to numb yourself, because it is so accessible and addictive. There is a world-altering difference between using social media in a healthy way versus as a coping mechanism. Mostly, it has to do with how you feel after you’re finished. If you don’t put the phone down feeling inspired or relaxed, you’re probably trying to avoid some kind of discomfort within yourself—the very discomfort that just might be telling you that you need to change.”
Learning to effectively interpret your emotions rather than letting them trigger fears is important to avoid self-sabotage.
First, identify and accept what you're feeling without suppression. Suppression will boil the emotions inside of you and make you feel worse.
Pinpoint why you feel that way -- emotions are cues to take action. E.g., anger shows what you care about, jealousy reveals desired things you lack, resentment indicates unmet expectations.
Once you understand your emotions' causes, you can define the correct actions to take instead of self-sabotaging. E.g., discuss the problems that are causing resentment rather than acting out.
Our brains naturally resist change -- familiar stimuli keep us in our comfort zones, perpetuating bad habits that feel good yet harm us. Drastic change is difficult so make incremental changes.
E.g., to create a new reading habit, it’s more effective to plan to read five minutes a day instead of two hours a day.
“It’s not whether you ‘feel’ like putting in the work, but whether or not you do it regardless.”
The comfort-seeking subconscious leads to issues like confirmation bias, extrapolation, and spotlighting (believing that others are thinking about you when in reality they’re all thinking about themselves).
To become your ideal self, you need to:
Find your purpose and define who you want to be
Set guiding principles/rules
Admit weaknesses and be willing to be disliked
Finding your purpose:
Your purpose is where your talents and passions meet society's needs. It’s not a job but a fulfilling calling.
Ask, what are you willing to toil over? What would you do if you had no obligations? What are you naturally good at? What do you want to be remembered for?
Defining your ideal self:
Meditate in a quiet place, purge negative thoughts, and relax.
Visualize your ideal future self in detail -- how they look and act, where they’re living and working, their routines and relationships, etc. -- then ask for guidance, and listen to their inspiring advice.
Finish by imagining your ideal self transferring to you their life, knowledge, behaviors, and abilities.
Setting guiding principles:
Principles are life rules you set based on the values you hold. They will aid you in making difficult decisions and keep you on the right path.
Make two lists, one of things you deeply value and feelings you want to regularly experience, and one of things that cause you anxiety.
Set rules that support your values and desired activities, and also manage your anxieties.
If you value and enjoy reading, you can set a rule to read at least ten books every year. If you are anxious about money, you can set a rule to put 15% of your income into savings every month.
Let your rules guide all areas of life -- relationships, careers, etc.
Other tips to live your best life:
Enjoy small daily joys
Cultivate positive relationships -- you become who you spend time with
“The real glow up isn’t proving the people from your past wrong. It is finally feeling so content and hopeful about your future that you stop thinking about them entirely.”
See obstacles as learning experiences
“Start quantifying your days by how many healthy, positive things you accomplished, and you will see how quickly you begin to make progress.”

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

Chris Voss and Tahl Raz

A former FBI hostage negotiator presents a tried and tested negotiating approach that can be applied effectively in any situation.

4.1 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Negotiation is rooted in the basic human need for acceptance and understanding.
The key to successful negotiation is becoming an active listener. By actively listening, we demonstrate empathy towards the other party and genuinely seek to understand their perspective and experiences. We should make the other party feel like a partner, not an opponent.
Negotiation is an act of discovery, not a battle of arguments. Focus on uncovering information, not winning points.
Validate their concerns and emotions. Build trust and safety so they feel comfortable opening up.
Make your sole focus understanding what the other party needs and wants. Listen closely to what they say.
Don't rush the process. The other party may feel unheard. This undermines rapport and trust.
There are 3 negotiator voice types you should use:
Playful/positive voice: this should be the default voice. Easygoing and light. Positivity encourages collaboration.
Late-night FM DJ voice: Calm, slow. Creates authority and trust without defensiveness. Use this voice to make a point.
The direct/assertive voice: This should be used as rarely as possible because this has the potential to create pushback.
Mirroring is a powerful technique in negotiations, repeating the last few (1-3) critical words to create a sense of comfort and empathy. It also buys time and encourages the other party to continue the conversation to reveal more information.
A study showed that waiters who used mirroring received 70% higher tips compared to those who used positive reinforcement.
Tactical empathy is critical in negotiations. It involves understanding the other party's feelings and mindset.
Closely observing facial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice creates neural resonance, which gives you insight into their thoughts and emotions.
Labeling is a way to validate someone's emotions by acknowledging them.
To identify feelings, pay attention to changes in the other party's responses to your words during negotiation.
Labels can be framed as statements or questions, starting with phrases like "It seems like...," "It looks like...," or "It sounds like..."
People's emotions have presenting behavior (visible) and underlying feelings (motivation behind behavior). Labeling can bring out the underlying feelings.
Labeling diffuses negative emotions and reinforces positive emotions.
Do an accusation audit by listing every negative thing your counterpart could say about you at the start. For example, "You likely think I'm disrespecting you with this offer." This taps into their empathy, prompting them to reassure you that you're not as bad as they thought.
Pushing for a hard "Yes" in negotiations can be counterproductive and create resistance from the other party.
There are three types of "Yes": counterfeit (they plan to say "No" but "Yes" is easier), confirmation (reflexive response), and commitment (leading to a definite outcome).
Learn to master “No”.
"No" is not the end of negotiation but an opportunity to clarify desires by eliminating what is undesirable.
"No" can have various meanings, such as not being ready to agree, feeling uncomfortable, needing more information, etc.
Instead of asking “Is it a good time to talk?”, ask “Is it a bad time to talk?” A “No” will get total focus, a “Yes” will prompt a clear indication of their availability.
"No" brings real issues to the forefront, prevents poor decisions, and provides time for analysis.
Trigger "No" to make the speaker feel safe and in control.
"That's right" is a powerful signal that your counterpart has embraced your statement. It provides insight into their mindset and enables you to align their views with your preferred course of action.
To elicit a "That's right," summarize their story in your words to demonstrate genuine understanding.
When someone says it, they feel understood and respected, making them more receptive to your ideas.
"Fair" is the most powerful word in negotiation, and being perceived as fair is crucial for success. Earn a reputation as being fair by using the following tactics:
Persuade the other party that they have something to lose if the deal fails. People take more risks to avoid a loss than realize a gain (loss aversion bias).
Anchor their emotions by acknowledging their fears to activate their loss aversion bias.
Let the other party go first in monetary negotiations to use their anchor as a reference point. Their first price point might be better than expected.
Establish a reasonable price range with evidence and data to support its fairness.
Include non-monetary terms in your offer to make it more reasonable and appealing.
Use the framing effect to your advantage. Framing effect causes people to respond differently to the same choices depending only on how they are presented. For instance, health-conscious shoppers are more likely to buy milk marketed as "99% fat-free" versus "1% fat"
Use odd numbers when discussing figures as they appear well-calculated rather than placeholders ($98,375 instead of $100,000).
Surprise them with an unrelated gift.
Use calibrated open-ended questions to give your counterpart a sense of autonomy.
It helps the other party to realize what the problem is without explicitly telling them what the problem is, which could be seen as aggressive.
Use "how" or "what" in the questions. Don’t use “why”.
For example, if faced with an unreasonable price, respond with "How am I supposed to do that?" The strategic benefit is that these questions put your counterpart to work helping you. You get the other person to provide solutions to your problems.
Other examples: "What about this is important to you?", "How can I help make this better for us?", "How would you like me to proceed?", "What is it that brought us into this situation?", "How can we solve this problem?", "What are we trying to accomplish here?"
The 7-38-55 Percent Rule states that in communication, only 7% of meaning comes from the words used, while 38% comes from tone of voice and 55% from body language and facial expressions.
Pay close attention to whether the other party's tone and body language aligns with the literal meaning of their words. If they don't match, it's a sign of deception.
Study shows that liars use more words and ramble more. They also use more distant third-person pronouns like "they," "them," and "we" while avoiding "I" or "me." They’re used to psychologically distance the liar from the deception.
Rule of Three suggests you should try to get the other party to say “yes” three times on the same topic because it is difficult to lie or fake conviction repeatedly.
The Ackerman Model is a useful negotiation tool. The steps are:
Set your target offer price/goal.
Set your first offer at 65% of your target.
Calculate three raises of decreasing increments (to 85%, 95%, and 100%).
Say “no” empathetically before you increase your offer (“I’m sorry I just can’t get it done at that price.”)
Use precise, non-round numbers in your offers ($98,493 instead of $100,000).
On your final number, offer a non-monetary item to show that you are at your limit.
Negotiation is fundamentally an information-gathering exercise. Black Swans refer to hidden info that would completely change the outcome of the negotiation.
Example: If you’re buying, learning that the seller has financial pressures gives you leverage. This is your Black Swan.
To find Black Swans, prefer face-to-face interactions to read verbal and body language cues, and build rapport through the Similarity Principle (people trust others they perceive as similar to themselves, so finding common ground helps create a more open environment).

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships

Marshall B. Rosenberg

A powerful guide to improving communication and conflict resolution skills for more harmonious relationships in personal and professional settings.

2.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Life-alienating communication refers to the language we use to alienate ourselves instead of building connections.
Moralistic judgments are life-alienating. They are critical or insulting words we use to label someone as bad or wrong (e.g., “selfish,” “stupid,” etc).
A study shows that countries with language that contains more judgmental words have more violent crimes.
Instead of passing judgments, identify the needs behind the feelings.
Example: If your child eats too many snacks at a party, instead of calling her selfish, notice that you really are concerned about her health and have the need to be fair to others at the party. Explain your needs to the child while acknowledging your child’s need to enjoy food.
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) involves observing objectively, expressing feelings, identifying needs, and making a request for action.
Example: If your child leaves his toys in a mess, instead of calling him messy and ordering him to clean up immediately, try saying, “When I see your toys in the living room (observing objectively), I feel frustrated (expressing the feeling), because I’d like the rooms we share to be more orderly, and I worry you might get hurt (identifying the needs). Would you be willing to move your toys to your room once you’re done playing? (communicating the request compassionately)”
To observe objectively, be aware of your feelings at the present moment (emotionally and physically), avoid generalizations (“you never/always…”), and be specific (“when you forgot to call me last night…”).
Do not confuse evaluations as observations. Evaluations carry labels and criticisms, and they make people defensive. “You are messy,” is an evaluation. “You didn’t take out the garbage this morning,” is an observation.
To express your feelings, do it as accurately as possible. Be specific with your words that describe your feelings. For example, instead of “sad”, try “regretful”, “betrayed”, “guilty”, etc. Expanding your emotional vocabulary will be helpful with this. Be specific with pronouns too (“Bob” instead of “everyone”).
Don’t be afraid to express your feelings. Being vulnerable eases tension and lowers resentment.
You are responsible for your feelings. Other people’s actions can be the stimulus of your feelings but they are not the cause.
For example, if someone calls you selfish you can blame yourself (“I’m a failure.”) or blame others (“You’re wrong. I am not selfish.”), and neither will address the root problem. A better response would be “I feel disappointed when you call me selfish, because I’d like to have a good relationship with you, and I have been trying to accommodate your needs (provide examples). Do you think I’m selfish because of something particular I did? How can I do better?”
To identify our needs, we need to avoid the blame game. When we’re unhappy, we often automatically blame others or ourselves for making us feel that way, before we even consider making our needs known.
Example: If Bob doesn’t wash his dishes, instead of blaming him for being lazy and messy, explain to Bob why (e.g., the dirty dishes add stress to your busy life and make you late) you prefer to have them done.
It is important to express your needs as directly and clearly as possible, or else there will be misunderstandings.
To make requests, be clear and specific, and use positive language.
Positive language is when you compassionately ask someone to do something. Negative language is when you ask someone to stop doing something. Negative language can create defensiveness and misunderstandings.
Example: If a wife says to her husband, “Stop spending so much time at work!”, that is negative language. The husband might misunderstand the wife and take time off to go golfing. What the wife is really saying, translated into clear and specific positive language, is “I’d like you to spend more time with the family. Can you please stay home on Friday evenings to watch movies with us?”
NVC is not only used for improving relationships with others, but also with yourself. Whenever you use judgmental self-talk (“I’m so stupid.”, “I failed again.”, etc.), it is fuelled by an unmet need. When you identify and understand this need, you will gain compassion for yourself and avoid self-hatred.
Example: If you forget to bring your lunch to work because you were too busy packing lunch for your children, instead of saying, “I’m so forgetful! I messed up again!”, realize that you’re simply too occupied taking care of others while overlooking your own need to be fed.
NVC helps us to better understand others by listening empathetically, which means feeling what others feel.
Display understanding of how others feel instead of immediately offering advice. There are times people just want to be listened to, and are not seeking for advice.
Confirm that your understanding is accurate by reflecting or paraphrasing what others are saying back to them.
NVC is helpful in conflict resolution. First, establish a human connection by expressing and understanding both parties’ feelings and needs. Next, assure with sincerity that the goal is not to manipulate, but to cooperate to achieve satisfaction (all needs are met), not compromise (some needs are neglected). Finally, make clear, specific, and reasonable requests with all partie’s needs in mind.

The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals

Michael Pollan

An eye-opening journey through the food chains, offering a deep understanding of the intricate relationships between humans and the food we eat.

2.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Today's industrialized food chain is driven by profit and mass production and distribution. We no longer know what’s truly in our food and we have infinite options, making it difficult to answer the question: What should we have for dinner?
Before industrialization, food sources were localized and seasonal, sourced from small farms adhering to natural principles.
We now face more food contamination, environmental damage, and health issues. These problems fueled the organic movement promoting sustainable and local options.
Unlike other countries, America, a country of immigrants, lacks a strong food culture to guide healthy eating habits. Further confusion comes from fad diets, marketing ploys, and constantly shifting food guidelines.
There are three principal modern food chains: industrial, organic, and hunter-gatherer.
The industrial food chain, characterized by monoculture corn farms, is sustained by U.S. policies favoring big business, leading to corn overproduction and plummeting prices for farmers.
Synthetic fertilizers and pesticides used in the industrial food chain result in environmental pollution and health issues.
The automation of farming contributes to job losses and declining populations in Midwest towns.
Corn's pervasive presence in processed foods, from chicken nuggets to sweetening agents like high-fructose corn syrup, has led to a surge in heart disease, obesity, and diabetes.
1/4 supermarket items contain a corn derivative.
Cheap corn enables concentrated animal feeding operations (CAFOs) that are overcrowded, unsanitary, and ethically questionable. With corn serving as a primary feed for factory-farmed animals (even the carnivorous salmon), their natural diets are altered, necessitating the use of antibiotics to prevent them from being sick, which end up getting consumed by us.
“Were the walls of our meat industry to become transparent, literally or even figuratively, we would not long continue to raise, kill, and eat animals the way we do.”
“A growing body of research suggests that many of the health problems associated with eating beef are really problems with corn-fed beef.”
The reliance on non-renewable fossil fuels across various stages of production (e.g., fertilization, processing, transportation) in the corn food chain exacerbates climate change concerns.
A meal from McDonald's is an example of food from the industrial food chain. It is cheap, fast, prevalent, unhealthy, reliant on corn, and calorie excessive.
“The 99 cent price of a fast-food hamburger simply doesn't take account of that meal's true cost -- to soil, oil, public health, the public purse, etc., costs which are never charged directly to the consumer but, indirectly and invisibly, to the taxpayer (in the form of subsidies), the health care system (in the form of food-borne illnesses and obesity), and the environment (in the form of pollution), not to mention the welfare of the workers in the feedlot and the slaughterhouse and the welfare of the animals themselves.”
The industrial organic food chain, a blend of the industrial and organic systems, experienced a surge when major retailers like Whole Foods entered the organic market.
Despite being “organic” (no antibiotics, pesticides, or synthetic fertilizers), they still use synthetic additives to prolong shelf life.
Large-scale energy consumption for processing, refrigeration, and transportation still cause environmental concerns.
The true organic chain works with nature, and its foundation is grass.
In the organic chain, the plants, soil, and animals all benefit each other.
Cattle graze, chickens eat insects and parasites from the manure, and the manure enriches the soil and plants.
The pastured meat and eggs have higher nutritional value than industrial food, and they contain more healthy fats similar to wild game that humans evolved eating.
It’s actually cheaper to buy organic eggs if you’re looking at the price per unit of omega-3 and vitamin E.
Although generally pricier, the organic system reflects the true costs of production without compromising on flavor, health, or the environment, unlike subsidized industrial corn products.
The author explored the hunter-gatherer chain through foraging, harvesting, and killing his own food.
The ethics of killing animals are complicated, but the author believes that humans are biologically designed to eat meat but we must treat animals humanely, and factory farming's inhumane treatment of animals must be exposed and reformed.
The hunter-gatherer experiment connected the author with food and nature, and didn’t cost him much except for his time.
“The single greatest lesson the garden teaches is that our relationship to the planet need not be zero-sum, and that as long as the sun still shines and people still can plan and plant, think and do, we can, if we bother to try, find ways to provide for ourselves without diminishing the world.”

On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction

William Zinsser

A timeless guide that teaches readers to write clear, concise, and compelling nonfiction.

1.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The secret to writing well is to write simply. Many writers make the mistake of trying to impress with complex language, resulting in difficult-to-read writing. Instead, writers should strive for simplicity by stripping down sentences to their core components and removing any unnecessary words or phrases.
Clear writing requires clear thinking. Writers must always ask themselves what exactly they are trying to say and ruthlessly remove any clutter from their writing, including redundant prepositions (“face up to a challenge” to “face a challenge”), adjectives (“my personal experience” to “my experience”), and long words (“utilize” to “use”, “at present time” to “now”).
The key to writing with style is to find your authentic voice. In other words, be yourself.
To develop your style, start by writing and don't stress about the first few paragraphs. Relax, and reach for words that feel right to you, then you'll begin to find your natural flow and unique style.
Writing in the first person can help you sound more natural and less stilted. Cultivate your natural voice in your writing process and your style will soon reveal itself.
Be meticulous in choosing your words. Avoid clichés, use the thesaurus (but ensure the words accurately convey what you mean -- precision is more important than variety), don’t use jargon and neologisms (new words) unless the context calls for them, and heed the rhythm and aural qualities of your sentences.
Keep your writing focused and consistent. Do not shift the tone, voice, tense, or perspective.
Answering the following questions can help you to remain focused and consistent:
Who is your audience (e.g., general, niche, one person)?
What style of writing will you use (e.g., formal, casual, humorous)?
What is the point you’re trying to make?
The beginning and ending of a written piece are crucial in engaging the reader. The opening should be captivating and show the reader what's in it for them.
An example from the author: “I’ve often wondered what goes into a hot dog. Now I know and I wish I didn’t.”
When concluding your writing, avoid unnecessary summarization and strive for brevity once you've conveyed your message.
The foundation of good writing comes from practice and attention to established principles. Some of them are:
Use active voice instead of passive voice (“he drove the car” vs “the car was driven by him”).
Use precise verbs (“he lumbered” vs “he walked”).
Avoid qualifiers (“she’s very happy” vs “she’s ecstatic”).
Use adverbs cautiously (“she whispered” vs “she talked quietly”).
Use adjectives cautiously (“giant” vs “tall giant”).
It’s okay to start a sentence with “but” or “yet” to signal a transition.
Adverbs and adjectives become more powerful if you minimize their usage.
Great writing comes from writers who are passionate about reading and writing. Instill in yourself a love for the craft by following your interests, writing regularly, and persevering through challenges.
Your ideas come from your experiences. Live a rich life and you will have endless interesting things to write about.
Focus on the writing process rather than the finished product. The final product will always be different from what you’d imagined at the start. Fixating on the end result can hinder the evolution of the story. It is important to refine and experiment with the story to find its potential. The process of writing is just as important as the final product.

Outliers: The Story of Success

Malcolm Gladwell

A fascinating exploration of the hidden factors that contribute to exceptional success.

2.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Our society romanticizes the idea of a self-made individual, attributing success and achievement solely to innate abilities and personal efforts. In reality, extraordinary success is heavily influenced by factors such as cultural legacy, opportunities, and timing.
Politicians like Jeb Bush have used the rhetoric of a “self-made-man” to bolster their image, despite coming from extremely privileged backgrounds. Outliers like Bush are statistically rare. The idea of a self-made person is a widely accepted but misleading myth.
One’s ability and innate capacity can be the foundations of success, but eventually they become more irrelevant after you reach a certain threshold. For example, just because you have an exceptionally high IQ does not mean you will win a Nobel Prize. Once a sufficient amount of expertise is achieved, traits such as social skills, connections, or luck become more important for success.
To be outstanding in your field, you need a lot of practice. Studies show that achieving world-class mastery in anything requires a critical minimum amount of 10,000 hours of practice.
It is a privilege to have the opportunity to practice for 10,000 hours. You need to have early exposure, access to the necessary resources and equipment, and support from family and friends. Bill Gates is one of the few people who met this criteria during the nascence of the field of personal computers.
Being born in the right place at the right time plays a crucial role in success. People like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs all had ambition and practical intelligence, but what made them ultra successful was the unique opportunities they were able to capitalize on. They were born at the right time to take advantage of their access to new technologies and be at the perfect age to start their companies. This is why many software tycoons were born between 1954 and 1956.
The month of your birth and your relative age compared to others in your developmental group can have a significant impact on your success. In Canadian youth-hockey leagues, the annual cutoff date for age groups is January 1, which causes younger children born in December to compete with those who are essentially a year older than them. This age difference is significant when you’re young, and it creates a cumulative advantage, in which small initial advantages can lead to greater opportunities and success over time. In this case, older children are favored and receive more opportunities for improvement. This is why there are more players in the NHL born in January, February, and March than any other months.
This cumulative advantage or disadvantage from your birth date also applies to other areas, such as schools. A six-year-old can become discouraged and disadvantaged if her peers are mostly seven year olds.
Once you reach a certain level of skill, natural abilities matter less than practical intelligence, which involves knowing how to navigate social situations (e.g., dealing with authority). Wealthier parents tend to instill practical intelligence and a sense of entitlement in their children through attention and enriching activities, while poorer parents are less likely to teach these skills, which can significantly reduce their children's chances of success.
Your geographical and cultural background can affect your success. For example, there is truth to the stereotype that Asians are good at math. In many Asian countries, math is integrated into language learning and so the children develop math skills earlier. Furthermore, Asian countries' history of reliance on rice farming, which is more difficult than farming Western crops, developed a lasting legacy of strong work ethic. Studies have shown that students in Western countries give up on math problems far sooner than students in Eastern countries do.
Cultural legacies can also be harmful. For example, Korean Air had an abnormally high rate of plane crashes. An explanation is the Korean culture's tendency to respect authority figures and defer to higher-ranking individuals, which led to communication failures where pilots were hesitant to speak freely and clearly to their superiors. After addressing this issue, Korean Air’s crash-rate improved to normal.
The uneven playing fields that exist in various fields of life can hinder people from succeeding. For instance, annual cutoff dates in hockey mean that some juniors born late in the year have to compete against older and more experienced players, resulting in lower confidence and lost opportunities. Similarly, children from disadvantaged backgrounds may not have access to the same opportunities as those from wealthier families. However, by recognizing these flaws in the system and dividing young hockey players into narrower age groups or creating programs for low-income children, we can create more opportunities and reduce the impact of external factors on success.

Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity

Peter Attia and Bill Gifford

A groundbreaking manifesto on living better and longer.

3.2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

To live longer and better, focus on exercise, nutrition, sleep, and emotional health.
It’s important to consider healthspan as well as lifespan. The quality of your life matters as much as the length.
Fitness is the best predictor of longer life.
Exercise, even in small amounts, can extend lifespan by years. It has the most outsized positive impact on your health.
Going from zero to 90 minutes of weekly exercise lowers mortality risk by 14%.
Exercise improves circulation and strengthens muscles (including the heart).
Exercise can slow down or reverse cognitive decline.
Exercise delays chronic diseases.
Exercise improves memory.
Strength training is important for everyone, young and old, as it improves physical function and mobility.
Become an "athlete of life". Keep yourself motivated about your health and train for 10 physical tasks (e.g., going up stairs, playing with your grandchildren) you want to be able to do at 100.
There are three dimensions of fitness: aerobic endurance & efficiency, strength, and stability.
Aerobic endurance & efficiency involves zone 2 cardio and VO2 max interval training.
Zone 2 cardio are sustained exercises that require 60% to 70% of your maximum heart rate. Example: fast walking for 30 minutes or 5+ miles.
Zone 2 cardio improves endurance and chronic disease prevention.
VO2 max interval training improves your body’s oxygen utilization and is associated with longevity. It involves high-intensity interval training (HIIT), where you alternate between high-intensity exercises and rest.
Incorporate both zone 2 cardio and VO2 max exercises in your routine.
Strength training involves heavy resistance training (e.g., weightlifting). It maintains muscle mass and bone density. Do it four times per week.
Stability is just as important as aerobic exercises. Try to do them (e.g. toe yoga) twice a week for at least an hour.
Grip strength indicates overall strength and is inversely linked to dementia. Do farmer's carries, dead hangs, and exercises involving pulling motions.
Maintaining a balanced healthy diet is crucial for a long and healthy life.
Our body has adapted to undernourishment for thousands of years. In modern times, many of us face overnourishment.
Key is to find the right balance that works for you in reducing energy/caloric intake and getting adequate protein and healthy fats.
Move away from the Standard American Diet (SAD) high in sugar, refined carbs and processed oils.
In the late 1970s the average American male weighed 173 lb, now he’s just about 200 lb.
Try caloric restriction (count calories), dietary restriction (avoid certain foods), or time restriction (intermittent fasting). Use caution. Make sure you still consume enough nutrients to avoid muscle loss.
Caloric restriction and quitting smoking are the low-hanging fruits of cancer prevention.
Get at least 1g of protein per lb (2.2g/kilo) of body weight daily to maintain muscle mass. Healthy proteins will make you feel fuller. Animal proteins are more effective than plant proteins.
Fats are important, they should be a mix of saturated, monounsaturated, and polyunsaturated, emphasizing omega-3s for good brain and heart health.
Prefer extra virgin olive oil, avocados, and nuts. Avoid butter, lard, and oils with high omega-6 (e.g., corn, soybean, and sunflower).
Cholesterol is not a nutrient of concern for overconsumption. There’s no connection between cholesterol in food and cholesterol in blood.
There is no amount of alcohol that is healthy.
A smoker is 40% more likely to die at any moment than a non-smoker.
Get Apo B tests regularly. Apolipoprotein B-100 is a blood test that tells you about your risk for cardiovascular disease, the leading cause of death by far.
Sleep greatly impacts your health.
Poor sleep increases risk of cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, accidents, and premature death.
20% of car accidents are caused by sleep deprivation. The author almost died from a car accident because of lack of sleep.
Study shows people sleeping <7 hours nightly have a 12% higher risk of early death.
Good sleep enhances physical and mental functioning, boosts memory, regulates metabolism, and decreases the likelihood of developing chronic diseases.
Drugs like Ambien and Valium can actually harm sleep quality.
Tips to improve sleep: reduce the use of screens and blue light before bed, keep bedroom dark and cool (65°F or 18°C), moderate caffeine and alcohol intake, meditate to reduce stress, and create a sleep routine.
Half-life of caffeine in the body is up to six hours.
NBA superstar LeBron James sleeps with a specialized mattress and pillows for 12 hours/day.
Emotional health is vital for well-being and longevity, and it affects physical health. Do not neglect it.
“Why do you want to live longer if you’re so unhappy?”
It’s important to recognize and address emotional health issues early.
Seek professional help if you’re struggling with emotional or mental health issues (e.g., depression, trauma).
Try Dialectical behavior therapy. DBT is a mindfulness-based proven type of psychotherapy that helps regulate emotions and build resilience.
Commit to daily practices (e.g., meditation) for long-term wellbeing.
Self-reflect and assess your relationship with yourself. Recognize how your past is influencing your present. Address childhood traumas as they might later manifest themselves in harmful forms (e.g., addiction, attachment disorders). Evaluate your self-image and need for external validation.
Pursue your dreams and do activities that make you happy.
If you lose your car keys it doesn’t mean you’re getting Alzhiemer’s, it probably means you’re distracted and busy.
The current healthcare system focuses more on treatment than on prevention.
“Health insurance companies won’t pay a doctor very much to tell a patient to change the way he eats, or to monitor his blood glucose levels in order to help prevent him from developing type 2 diabetes. Yet insurance will pay for this same patient’s (very expensive) insulin after he has been diagnosed.”
You get old when you stop thinking about the future.

The Personal MBA: Master the Art of Business

Josh Kaufman

Actionable guide to entrepreneurial success without the debt.

3.5 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

While business school seems attractive for its promise of knowledge and contacts, its high cost (up to $300,000+) doesn't translate to long-term career success.
Studies show no correlation between MBAs and increased salary or higher positions.
Consider learning through experience, online resources, or books like this one as alternatives.
There are five parts of every business:
"Creates and delivers something of value…" (Value Creation)
"That other people want or need…" (Marketing)
"At a price they’re willing to pay…" (Sales)
"In a way that satisfies the customer’s needs and expectations…" (Value Delivery)
"So that the business brings in enough profit to make it worthwhile for the owners to continue operation." (Finance)
The most successful business ideas balance making money with doing something you feel passionate about, as passion helps entrepreneurs persevere through the hard work of starting a company and makes them more knowledgeable about the market. However, being too passionate can also cloud judgment about whether there is strong customer demand for a product or service. The ideal business concept matches your interests while still fulfilling a need in the marketplace.
You can borrow money to jumpstart your business.
Leveraging investments by borrowing money for big gains carries the double-edged sword of amplifying your profits and losses.
Borrowing for lucrative opportunities (e.g., property flips) can yield amazing returns, but risks big losses if the value of your investments decline.
For a product to successfully sell, it must fulfill a basic human need, not just be well-made. There are five core needs/drives:
The Drive to Acquire (e.g., status, power, cars, a home, stamps)
The Drive to Bond (e.g., restaurants, dating sites, clubs, beauty products)
The Drive to Learn (e.g., books, schools, workshops)
The Drive to Defend (e.g., insurance, alarms, legal services, security services)
The Drive to Feel (e.g., movies, music, video games, art)
Receptiveness to products and services depends on how relevant those offers are to their current life circumstances and goals.
Discomfort with a situation motivates people to seek solutions, while comfort reduces desire for change.
Even a receptive audience will only purchase an offer after judging its objective qualities (e.g. cost, reliability) and subjective value (i.e., how does it make me/others feel?).
Discovering competitors already offering similar products or services can shake an entrepreneur's confidence, but existing competition actually signals strong benefits including proof of paying customers and observable business models.
By becoming your competition’s customer, you can gain invaluable insider knowledge of customer needs, pricing, promotions, operational issues, and unmet demand in the market.
Rather than a threat, competitors represent an opportunity to learn before you launch your own business aiming to provide even greater value.
Evaluate your market fit by giving your product a 0-10 rating to the following categories. If the total is < 50, the idea won’t succeed. If the total is > 75, it is auspicious.
Urgency: How badly do people need this?
Market Size: How many people need this?
Pricing Potential: What’s the most someone would pay for this?
Cost of Customer Acquisition: How much (time & effort) does it take to make a sale?
Cost of Value Deliver: How much does it cost to create the value provided?
Uniqueness of Offer: How different is it from the competition?
Speed to Market: How quickly can you create it?
Up-front Investment: How much money you’ll need before you can start selling?
Upsell Potential: Any ancillary values?
Evergreen Potential: How much work is involved to continue selling?
Even a great product needs effective marketing to connect with customers and drive sales. Marketing should grab attention by:
Keeping your message clear and short
Tailoring messages to individuals instead of creating generic messages for the masses
Highlighting the end result your product delivers (e.g., testimonials) rather than just its features
Using endorsements to establish trust
Targeting people who’ve already shown interest in a similar or adjacent product (don’t try to sell beef to vegans)
Even when customers are reluctant to buy a product, sales experts have strategies to turn them into buyers.
A major barrier to purchasing something is fear of making a wrong purchase, mitigate this by allowing returns, essentially shifting the risk onto the sellers.
Anticipate common objections customers raise, then convincingly arguing why those should not prevent making the purchase. (Objection: “My last phone only lasted a year.” Response: “This study shows that on average, our customers use our phones for five years.”)
Businesses want to complete sales quickly before fickle, option-weighing customers lose interest, so companies use tactics like limited availability or expiring discounts to increase perceived value and urgency of offers.
You can price a product by:
Cost plus a % of profit
The competitor's prices
Estimated long-term value
Subjective value
You can increase profit without increasing prices by getting more customers or getting current customers to buy more.
Effective negotiations require substantial preparation before sitting down at the bargaining table, including selecting the right people to talk to, optimizing the negotiation format and venue, thoroughly researching the specific issues and offers, and anticipating possible objections. Next, clearly determine the terms of your own proposal, making it as appealing as possible to the other party, as well as prepare concessions you may accept.
Businesses must prioritize customer satisfaction after sales to ensure repeat business, positive referrals, and strong reputations that are vital for long-term success. Streamline every aspect of your business so you can focus more on providing quality service to current customers.
Satisfied customers provide reliable revenue, free advertising, and resilience against competition.
Disappointed customers incur costs for reputation repair and needing to acquire new customers.
Prioritize tasks that will have the most outsized impact.
Good communication is a successful leader's secret weapon.
Successfully implementing ideas requires openly discussing them with colleagues in a respectful and transparent manner so they feel invested in the outcome.
Explain the reasoning behind plans so everyone understands the goals and can adapt if circumstances change.
Avoid insulting language as it causes people to become defensive rather than cooperatively exchanging ideas.
Productivity requires putting limits on your mind and body.
Our brains have limited capacity and can’t multitask or handle unexpected demands well.
Our body’s energy will naturally rise and fall in 90-minute cycles. Maximize productivity by working during heightened energy phases and relaxing during low energy periods.
We are generally more productive in the morning. Take advantage of it.

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business

Charles Duhigg

An exploration of how habits shape us and how we can change them to improve our lives, organizations, and communities.

2.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

A study involving mice finding chocolate in a maze showed that the mice’s brain activity decreased as they repeated the task. This is evidence that the more we do something the easier it becomes. Forming automatic routines, or habits, is an energy-saving method of chunking tasks to make them easier to do.
A 2006 research found that habits account for 40% of our daily actions.
Habits are made up of a three-part cycle: cue, routine, and reward.
Cue: A prompt that spikes your brain activity to start an action. (Your alarm wakes you up.)
Routine: The actions associated with the cue. (You brush your teeth and make coffee.)
Reward: The good feelings associated with the completion of the actions. (The taste and energy you get from the coffee.)
Our habits are formed in a neurological structure called basal ganglia. It’s deeply embedded in our brains, which means that our habits are resilient and can remain intact even in case of brain damage. This also means that habits can be hard to kick.
Habits create a craving for the reward at the end of the habit loop. Upon cues, the brain activates in a similar way as actually receiving the reward, this anticipation of the reward is part of why habits are hard to break.
We can take advantage of this craving and anticipation to form good habits.
The company Pepsodent popularized its toothpaste by giving it a refreshing and cool taste, which became a tangible reward that consumers began to crave.
The best way to quit a habit is not to resist the craving, but to redirect it. Identify the cues and rewards surrounding the habit and replace the routine with a similar reward.
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) uses this approach and helps participants list what they crave from drinking (e.g., relaxation, companionship), then provides them with new routines (e.g., exercise, talking to other AA members or sponsors) that address those cravings.
Some AA participants rely on spirituality and God to help them believe in the possibility of change, making them stronger in the face of stressful triggering life events.
Keystone habits are important habits that create a positive cascading effect that affects other habits. They provide small wins and help individuals believe that improvement is possible in other areas of life. Focus on developing keystone habits to start good habits and eliminate bad habits.
Making your bed every morning can be a simple keystone habit. Research shows it improves productivity and general well-being.
Keeping a food journal is a good keystone habit for a better diet.
Willpower is a keystone habit that improves every area of our lives.
A famous Stanford experiment presented children with marshmallows to eat and told them they would get double the marshmallows if they waited for fifteen minutes. Only 30% of the children waited. In the follow up years later, it was found that those who waited were better performers and more popular in school, and were less likely to develop a drug addiction.
Willpower is similar to a muscle, if you’ve used it intensely on one task, it’ll be weaker if you receive another task immediately afterwards. On the other hand, the more you use your willpower, the stronger it becomes.
Willpower can be influenced by external factors. For instance, individuals may exhibit lower levels of willpower when they are compelled to perform a task rather than engaging in it willingly.
Your willpower can also be bolstered by having a plan.
Starbucks found that unruly customers can break the employees’ willpower to be patient if the employees are not prepared. As a solution, Starbucks developed the LATTE method (Listening to the customer, Acknowledging their complaint, Taking action, Thanking the customer, and Explaining why the issue occurred), and it became an essential tool to improve customer service.
Organizations can develop dangerous habits, such as sticking to departmental boundaries, which can be exacerbated during a crisis. An example of this is the King's Cross station fire, where the complicated system of responsibility distribution contributed to the tragedy. However, crises can also provide an opportunity for reform and change. The King's Cross station fire investigation led to the implementation of a manager responsible for passenger safety at every station.
Companies use customers' habits to their advantage. As data collection becomes more advanced, companies' predictions of habits become more accurate.
Supermarkets place fresh fruits and vegetables at the entrance to encourage customers to buy unhealthier products later.
Retailers strategically place their most profitable products to the right of the entrance because we habitually turn right as we enter the stores.
Peer pressure can drive new habits.
Rosa Parks and Dr. Martin Luther King had an outsized impact on social movements in the black community because they had strong networks of strong-ties (close relationships) and weak-ties (acquaintances). Their actions compelled their communities to form the new habit of being more involved in activism.
We are not victims of our habits, we have the responsibility to change them if they are impacting us negatively.
Angie Bachmann was sued by a casino for her gambling debts. Her defense was that it was her habit that caused her to gamble, and the casino strategically tempted her. She lost her case and faced public derision.

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

Eckhart Tolle

A transformative guidebook that teaches readers how to live in the present moment, find inner peace, and achieve spiritual enlightenment.

2.8 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The first step to find inner peace and improve our lives is simple -- focus on the present.
The past is just the sum of moments that were once present, and the future is made of present moments that will happen. The feelings you have about the past and the future are still happening in the present. Life is just a series of present moments.
The present is all you have. There is no advantage in dwelling in the past or worrying about the future. If you focus on the present, all your problems will appear smaller and more manageable so that you can handle them incrementally.
If you're working on a big research paper, you'll do yourself a disservice if you lament on the past opportunities that you could've spent working, or panic about how much more you'll still have to do. However, if you focus on a small task that you can do right now (develop a plan, write one sentence, read an article, etc.) then you'll be more productive and also feel less stressful.
Pain forms when we are unsatisfied with our current situation and feel powerless to change it.
Pain is mostly self-imposed. While it might seem like pain is created by external factors, it is really our responses to external factors that create pain.
There's a part of ourselves that needs us to feel pain in order to survive, that part is called the "pain-body". The pain-body reinforces itself whenever we experience pain, so that it eventually becomes a part of our identity, and therefore makes it hard to disassociate from certain pain.
When someone frustrates you and it makes you angry, that is the pain-body at work. The next time he frustrates you, you'll feel angry even quicker. This response hinders your ability to think rationally and will bring more pain. Keeping the pain-body in mind will make your life less painful.
Your ego sabotages your happiness and acts against your self-interest. It is what makes people stay in destructive relationships. It is what makes people have arguments over petty things. Let go of your ego and you'll behave more rationally and have less suffering.
The mind is the source of suffering. It makes us agonize over the past and stress about the future. Since we can't change the past or predict the future, this suffering is useless.
To avoid needless suffering, you need to shift the focus from your mind to your body. Your body knows what you truly need. Listening to your body allows you to better live in the present. If you feel the impulse to exercise while you're working, then you should get up and go for a walk or jog.
Since the mind causes pain, it is helpful to know how to detach yourself from it. You can do so by becoming fully aware of your thoughts.
If you continuously ask yourself what your next thoughts are going to be, then you'll discover that you have interrupted your flow of thoughts, and thus separated yourself from your mind.
Another way to be separate from your mind is to accept thoughts without judgment. For example, if you are exercising instead of working and you feel guilty about it, become conscious of this thought ("Ok, this is the thought I'm having") and happily accept it without deciding if this is good or bad. This technique will help you become aware of your mind without it leading you astray.
Active waiting is another method to help you focus on the now. Active waiting is being permanently alert as if at any moment something important will happen. This forces you to not dwell on the past or the future.
When you're taking an exam, you might start thinking about how you didn't prepare enough or worry about the results. If you practice active waiting before and during the exam, you will shut out those thoughts and be able to focus on the present questions.
Living in the now can be beneficial to your relationships even if your partner has an ego and does not practice present-living. Your partner might insult you, bring up the past, or incite trivial arguments to feed the ego, but the non-judgmental and accepting qualities you gain from living in the present can stop the endless cycle of clashes.
Being present does not mean you can escape all pain. Some pain is unavoidable, but you should not suppress the pain. Instead, accept it. For example, when you lose a loved one, you will mourn, grief, and feel pain. However, if you accept it as something that just is and cannot be changed, you can avoid needless suffering.
Do not feel guilty about having negative feelings, it is natural. Accepting them means you realize things are the way they are, and wishing they were different is a waste of time.
Living in the present does not mean living a passive life and not looking to improve one's situation. It means avoiding creating unnecessary problems, and making finding manageable solutions to the moment's problems easier.

The Power of Positive Thinking

Norman Vincent Peale

A bestseller on the life-changing potential of positive thinking and the power of faith to overcome challenges and achieve success.

4.2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Believing in yourself is key to unlocking your potential and achieving success. Develop an attitude of confident faith in yourself.
Visualizing yourself succeeding will improve your confidence.
Build your self-esteem through repeated positive self-talk. Avoid negative self-talk.
Surround yourself with encouraging, positive people who believe in you. Their faith will bolster yours.
Look to inspirational role models who overcame challenges through self-belief. Their example can motivate you.
Believe and achieve. Use self-belief to unlock reserves of talent, skill and power within yourself that you didn't know you had. With faith in yourself, you can accomplish things you previously thought were beyond your ability.
Refuse to worry or feel resentful about things you can't control. Accept what you can't change and focus on what you can.
“The way to happiness: Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much. Scatter sunshine, forget self, think of others. Try this for a week and you will be surprised.”
Anxiety drains energy and vitality. Inner quietness and calm multiplies your energy. Try the following to achieve peace:
Relax your body through deep breathing, warm baths, and calming music. Physical relaxation aids mental calm.
Unclutter your surroundings and activities. Simplify. Take time to appreciate beauty and nature.
Associate with serene, unruffled people. Their composure will influence you.
Get adequate rest and sleep. Fatigue contributes to agitation.
Avoiding dwelling on past failures or future uncertainties.
Maintaining constant energy is a crucial factor in achieving personal and professional success. Energy is not solely a physical attribute but also a mental and spiritual state.
Use visualizations to boost your energy level. Picture yourself radiant with energy. Repeat affirmations like "I am filled with energy" and "My strength is being constantly renewed."
Begin each day expecting events that require energy. Look forward to challenges.
Eat a balanced, nutritious diet. Exercise regularly.
Listen to lively music. Music can energize you.
Tackle only what you have energy for. Minimize non-essential tasks and time wasters. Conserve energy for what matters and don’t overextend yourself.
Prayer is not limited to religious practices. It is a universal tool that anyone can use to connect with a higher power. There are psychological benefits of prayer, which can provide solace, hope, and inner strength during challenging times.
Be precise and persistent in your prayers.
Show gratitude and thank God in advance for answering your prayers.
Visualize your prayers being answered as you pray.
Remain humble, not demanding. Make requests, not ultimatums. Be unselfish and pray for others.
You are personally responsible for creating your own happiness. Happiness is an inner state of mind, not dependent on external circumstances. You can choose to be happy.
Adopt a positive mental attitude and cultivate gratitude for the blessings you have. Replace negative thoughts with positive, optimistic ones.
Avoid comparing yourself to others. Focus on personal growth and improvement.
Learn to genuinely like other people. Practice of kindness and compassion towards others. This will increase your own sense of fulfillment and joy.
Do work you find meaningful and fulfilling. Find purpose in your activities.
Set goals that stretch your abilities. Making progress creates satisfaction.
Count your successes, not failures. Celebrate even small achievements.
Live in the present moment. Don't dwell on the past or obsess over the future.
Keep your sense of humor even in adversity. Laugh easily.
Develop interests and hobbies you enjoy. Make time for fun.
Happiness is contagious. Surround yourself with cheerful people.
Excessive worrying, frustration, and anger is destructive to your mental and physical health. It is important to cultivate emotional control and not let external circumstances dictate one's inner state.
Don’t avoid your fears and anxieties. Confront them to regain control of your emotions. Identify the real, specific cause of your negative emotions and challenge them rationally.
Write down a detailed plan for confronting worries. Making an action plan itself is calming. Focus your mind completely on the task at hand. Take one step at a time.
Share your worries with the people you trust. Don’t hold it all in.
Get adequate rest and recreation. Take screen and media breaks.
Positive (and negative) thoughts and expectations can shape your reality. They are a self-fulfilling prophecy, influencing outcomes and experiences.
“Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture… Do not build up obstacles in your imagination.”
Law of Attraction refers to how a positive mindset can draw favorable circumstances and people into one's life.
Visualizing and expecting the best instills confidence and determination, increasing the likelihood of actually achieving desired goals.
Do your part to bring about what you expect through detailed planning and continuous effort. Be specific in what you want to achieve. Set clear, defined steps and goals.
Affirm positive expectations regularly. Repeating them plants them in your mind.
Maintain momentum during inevitable valleys by recalling past peaks.
Perseverance and the willingness to learn from failures are essential components of success. A defeatist mindset hinders progress and leads to missed opportunities.
Setbacks are temporary. They are stepping stones to improvement.
View problems objectively, not emotionally. Ask "How can I solve this?"
Positive thinking and strong belief in one's ability to heal can activate the body's self-healing mechanisms. Spiritual faith can aid physical healing but doesn't replace medical care.
Your mind is shaped by your habitual thinking. You can remake yourself by changing thoughts.
Repeat positive statements to yourself habitually to imprint uplifting ideas. Affirmations work.
Feed your mind with uplifting, positive input like inspirational books or lectures.
Associate with people who have qualities you aspire to develop.
Listen to positive audio recordings that reinforce desired mindsets while resting or driving.
Visualize in detail yourself thinking, speaking and acting as the person you want to become.
Be patient with the process of transformation. New thought habits take time.
Relaxation is vital for physical and mental well-being. It’s an important source of easy power and energy.
A calm mind can foster a more optimistic outlook.
Incorporate regular relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and meditation, into daily routines.
Do relaxing activities like gardening, napping, fishing, strolling, listening to music, or sitting by water.
Fostering positive relationships is essential to one’s happiness.
Maintaining a genuine interest in others and showing sincere appreciation for their qualities.
Practice active listening and talk about the other person's interests, not just your own.
Remember people’s names.
Refrain from criticizing or condemning others and instead focus on finding common ground and understanding.
Smile and display a warm and friendly demeanor, which can attract people and create a positive atmosphere.
Practice empathy and compassion. Be trustworthy with confidential information.
Admit mistakes and don't be defensive if tactfully corrected. Stay humble.
Heartache is a natural part of life but the power of positive thinking can help you overcome it.
Focus on personal growth as a means to move forward.
Remember that holding onto anger only hurts you, not them. Let it go for your sake. Pray for those who caused your heartache. Wish them well instead of harboring bitterness.
Seek support from friends, family, or a professional counselor.
Express gratitude for the good still present in your life.
God is the ultimate higher power we can draw upon for strength, wisdom and peace.
You don’t need to feel isolated or alone. Surrender your worries and concerns to the higher power, trusting that it will provide solutions and comfort. It will give a sense of companionship and solace.

Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions

Dan Ariely

MIT behavioral economist explains how invisible forces skew our reasoning.

3.7 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

By nature, we appraise things by comparing them to others.
Most of our comparisons are made locally -- we lazily compare things with whatever is around.
Bring a slightly less attractive friend to a bar to seem more desirable by comparison.
Marketers use decoy products to make other items seem cheaper by comparison. For example, restaurants overprice the most expensive dish to upsell the second most expensive.
When given three options, people typically choose the middle one. Companies put their most profitable item as the middle price, using a cheap option as a decoy to make it look better and a premium option to make it look like a bargain.
Constantly comparing ourselves to others makes us envious and dissatisfied, and leads to displeasure with what we have.
“That’s a lesson we can all learn: the more we have, the more we want. And the only cure is to break the cycle of relativity.”
The allure of free is a powerful emotional trigger that influences decision-making. Free items bypass rational thinking and trigger irrational behavior.
The zero price effect explains that when an item is perceived as having no potential downside (being free), it is valued more than its actual worth. This is because we irrationally fear losses more than we value gains.
In one study, 75% participants chose Lindt truffles for 15 cents over Hershey’s Kisses for 1 cent, but 69% chose Hershey’s Kisses for free over Lindt truffles for 14 cents, despite the same price difference.
Companies like Amazon leverage the power of free to influence consumer behavior, like offering free shipping for orders above a certain threshold.
Policymakers can use the power of free to drive positive behavior, like making health check-ups entirely free to encourage regular check-ups.
We suffer from arbitrary coherence -- the first price we encounter becomes an anchor that affects what we'll pay later.
Asking people to write their social security digits before an auction affects what they'll bid -- high digits lead to higher bids.
Starbucks was able to create its own pricing anchor by designing stores to feel like continental cafes, with fancy French presses, pastries, and higher-quality beans, and used exotic Italian names for cup sizes. This made the experience feel drastically different from competitors like Dunkin Donuts, so customers accepted Starbucks' new pricing anchor.
We overvalue things we own through attachment and focusing on what we'll lose.
Ownership fosters emotional attachment, as we associate positive experiences and potential future experiences with the owned item.
Duke students valued basketball tickets drastically differently based on their ownership. Owners wouldn't sell for less than $2,400, non-owners wouldn't pay over $170.
This overvaluation phenomenon extends to opinions, where investing time and effort in advocating an opinion leads to stubbornness and reluctance to change.
“Ownership is not limited to material things. It can also apply to points of view. Once we take ownership of an idea -- whether it’s about politics or sports -- what do we do? We love it perhaps more than we should. We prize it more than it is worth. And most frequently, we have trouble letting go of it because we can’t stand the idea of its loss. What are we left with then? An ideology -- rigid and unyielding.”
Expectations shape our judgements and experiences.
In blind taste tests, people preferred Pepsi, but with visible brands, Coke was favored, highlighting the impact of expectations.
The placebo effect shows benefits from medicine emerge even with inert pills.
The price of medicine influences its perceived effectiveness, with more expensive pills providing greater perceived relief.
One study showed that people started to walk slower after exposure to words associated with the elderly (e.g., ancient, bingo, Florida).
There are two types of norms we implicitly apply when interacting with people. Social norms and market norms. Social norms govern friendly favors where repayment isn't expected. Market norms are cold transactions of work for pay.
Applying the wrong norms elicits bad responses. Paying your mother for dinner evokes market norms and will offend them.
Market norms often make people more cold and selfish. One experiment showed that lawyers would rather work for free than work for less than their typical rate, as working for free triggers social norms, and working for less triggers market norms.
Mentioning money triggers market norms. Studies show reverting to social norms after is difficult.
“People are willing to work for free, and they are willing to work for a reasonable wage; but offer them just a small payment and they will walk away.”
In general, people are a bit dishonest, but not to an extreme extent.
Studies reveal that in scenarios with small monetary prizes as rewards for taking quizzes, individuals tend to cheat by slightly exaggerating their performance when given the opportunity to grade themselves. However, the likelihood of cheating does not significantly increase even when the chances of being caught are reduced.
Priming people to think about honesty reduces dishonesty. When participants recalled the Ten Commandments before a quiz, cheating plummeted.
We rationalize dishonesty more easily with items than cash. "It's ok to take this stationary because it's part of my compensation."
Our rational side sets long-term goals, but our irrational side derails them through impulsiveness, immediate gratification, and procrastination.
Tying short-term gratification to unpleasant tasks associated with long-term goals can serve as a motivational strategy. For example, the author watched movies while receiving hepatitis medications.
One study showed that students with self-imposed, evenly-spaced deadlines throughout the course performed significantly better than those with a single end-of-course deadline, suggesting that acknowledging weaknesses and committing to structured deadlines can effectively combat procrastination and improve outcomes.
“Giving up on our long-term goals for immediate gratification, my friends, is procrastination.”
People have a tendency to keep options open, even if it’s detrimental.
In a gameshow study, people irrationally paid real money just to keep their options open, even though it meant less prize money.
Indecision has consequences -- pursuing two paths may lead to mediocrity in both.
The successes of Chinese commander Xiang Yu, who burned his own ships to eliminate the option of retreat, highlights the counterintuitive nature of deliberately closing options.
Closing options helps to prioritize what is truly important.
“If I were to distill one main lesson from the research described in this book, it is that we are pawns in a game whose forces we largely fail to comprehend. We usually think of ourselves as sitting in the driver's seat, with ultimate control over the decisions we make and the direction our life takes; but, alas, this perception has more to do with our desires -- with how we want to view ourselves -- than with reality.”

Psycho-Cybernetics: A New Way to Get More Living Out of Life

Maxwell Maltz

A bestseller to help you overcome negative self-image and achieve your full potential.

3.3 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The author is a plastic surgeon turned psychologist. He was interested that many patients did not experience more confidence or happiness after their surgeries.
Physical appearance doesn’t define self-image.
Self-image is far more important to happiness than physical appearance. Your thoughts impact your quality of life, not your looks. The key to happiness is to remove negative thought patterns.
Your self-image dictates your life. You act in alignment with the self-image you hold. Your self-image is a mental blueprint that shapes your beliefs about yourself.
Your self-image suffers from bias. You may develop a negative self-image that does not match reality.
If you see yourself as a failure, you will likely fail. If you see yourself as successful, you will find ways to succeed.
“You will act like the sort of person you conceive yourself to be.”
Your self-image sometimes forms because of life events that might be outside of your control. For example, a divorce may cause a child to see themselves as a failure if her grades suffer temporarily. Her self-image can persist and determine future behaviors and outcomes.
The author gives the example of a man who thought he was ugly when in fact others did not think of him that way. His own negative self-image made him insecure and miserable, and he kept people at a distance. He perceives this distance as further proof that others were judging him, thus creating a negative loop.
Use rational thinking to question your negative beliefs, because they’re mostly irrational. Would you judge another person in this situation as harshly as you are judging yourself?
Your self-image is formed by the conclusions you draw from experiences. They’re not facts or the experiences themselves.
Many people grow up incorrectly believing they’re bad at math simply because they did poorly in math in one grade, or even on one test.
Just because you failed today does not mean you’ll fail tomorrow.
Low self-image leads to low self-esteem.
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your handbrake on.”
Psycho-cybernetics refers to how your brain and nervous system work together as an automatic system to achieve success through positive and negative feedback, similar to a machine. It explains that you learn by remembering previous successes and using your imagination. It states that you can program your mind to achieve happiness.
The nervous system can't distinguish between real and imagined experiences. It reacts according to what we believe or imagine. This is why your self-image, no matter how inaccurate it is, feels true.
“It is no exaggeration to say that every human being is hypnotized to some extent either by ideas he has uncritically accepted from others or ideas he has repeated to himself or convinced himself are true. These negative ideas have exactly the same effect upon our behavior as the negative ideas implanted into the mind of a hypnotized subject by a professional hypnotist.”
Many of the most successful musicians and athletes regularly practice mentally.
Create successful feedback loops by habitually making a conscious effort to replace negative thought patterns with positive ones. When positive beliefs outweigh negative ones regularly, your self-image will improve.
Recall feelings of success often. Your subconscious is always imprinting your thoughts and feelings (positive and negative) onto your self-image.
Find a purpose/goal to focus on. It’ll provide motivation for improvement. Detail small and realistic incremental steps to take.
“You must have a clear mental picture of the correct thing before you can do it successfully.”
Happiness is an internal feeling.
“Happiness is a mental habit, a mental attitude, and if it is not learned and practiced in the present it is never experienced. It cannot be made contingent upon solving some external problem. When one problem is solved, another appears to take its place. Life is a series of problems. If you are to be happy at all, you must be happy - period! Not happy ‘because of’.”
Do not think of happiness and success in terms of the future (e.g., I’ll be happy when I’m married or rich) or external circumstances (e.g., I’m unhappy because I’m stuck in traffic or don’t own a house).
When we’re unhappy it’s because it’s the response we chose for the given circumstances.
Studies show that happy people are generally physically healthier.
Focus on the positives, not the negatives. See difficulties as opportunities to improve.
Acronym of factors that make you SUCCESSful:
Sense of direction: always have goals and objectives
Understanding: avoid distorted perceptions arising from anxiety, fear or desire
Courage: take calculated risks to achieve your dreams
Charity: caring for others
Esteem: believe in yourself rather than thinking "I can't"
Self-confidence: remember your successes and don’t stress over failures
Self-acceptance: coming to terms with your strengths and weaknesses
Acronym of factors that contribute to FAILURE:
Frustration: arises when encountering difficulties; often breeds a self-fulfilling prophecy, i.e., believing you’re a failure will result in failure
Aggressiveness: energy directed towards self-destruction will result in failure
Insecurity: feeling inadequate, often due to unrealistic ideals of measurement
Loneliness: isolation from healthy social connections
Uncertainty: indecision stemming from fear of mistakes and failure
Resentment: blaming failure on perceived unfairness
Emptiness: a sense of boredom and meaninglessness in life
Don’t fixate on others’ perception of you, it can be inhibiting and suffocating. Practice disinhibition and speak freely before you overthink to unleash your true self.
Your mind is more receptive to positive thoughts when it’s relaxed.
Your peace of mind is easily disrupted by conditioned responses to stimuli -- "bells" we've learned to obey. Delay responding to bells, gradually increasing the time until you can ignore them (e.g., phone notifications, fear of strangers).
Achieve peace of mind by constructing a mental scenic and calming room for serene retreats.
Emotional scars form to protect hurt feelings but they can isolate you from others by constructing walls. Genuine forgiveness is the key to removing them to start real healing. It’s best to forget that you were wronged and the act of forgiveness itself.

The Psychology of Money

Morgan Housel

“Timeless lessons on wealth, greed, and happiness.”

2.8 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

How we approach money is shaped by our experiences, upbringing, and culture.
The Great Depression is a well-known story, but it leaves out the fact that not all Americans experienced it in the same way. JFK admitted that his family’s wealth actually grew during the depression.
People from different walks of life have vastly different experiences and lessons about money. Even equally wealthy people can have different financial worldviews based on their individual experiences -- one might be raised during periods of inflation while the other experienced stability. What we think we know about the economy and money only reflects a fraction of the whole truth.
Economists often assume that individuals make rational financial decisions that maximize their returns, but in reality, people's financial decision-making is more complex. For example, low-income households in the US spend a significant amount on lottery tickets despite struggling to afford emergency expenses. This behavior is not rational, but it is understandable as people see it as their only chance to access luxuries they cannot afford otherwise.
Personal history determines people's attitudes towards risk, with experiences in early adulthood shaping investment decisions later in life. Economic conditions during these formative years can greatly influence investment choices, even when real-world evidence contradicts them.
Research shows that people’s willingness to invest in bonds and stocks largely depends on the inflation rate and stock market performance during their early adulthood.
The economic concepts we use today are relatively new. The first currency was only issued around 600 BC, and retirement as we know it today is less than two generations old. Other key ideas and practices, like hedge funds, index funds, and retirement funds are even newer. The reason many of us struggle with financial planning and decision-making is not because we’re stupid, but because these concepts are still historical infants.
Luck is a significant factor in financial success, but it is often overlooked or underestimated due to human psychology and cultural obsession with success. We tend to attribute our successes to hard work and failures to bad luck or character flaws, but we are less generous when it comes to others' failures.
The income of siblings is more closely correlated than height or weight, indicating the sizable role of inherited privilege and opportunities in financial outcomes.
Building randomness into financial models can help account for luck, even if we cannot fully quantify its exact role.
“Success is a lousy teacher” because it can make people overconfident.
It is important to consider the role of luck in success, and to not let a few isolated examples of success lead you to believe that you are guaranteed to succeed if you follow their steps.
It is better to focus on broad patterns of success and failure, and to use these patterns to make better decisions in your own life.
For example, studies have shown that people are happier when they structure their days. This is an applicable pattern of success.
Envy can drive bad decisions, particularly in the pursuit of more wealth. Capitalism can exacerbate this by creating a culture of comparison. Envy is not inherently morally wrong but can lead to reckless behavior.
Rajat Gupta, a former CEO of McKinsey and a board member of Goldman Sachs, was sentenced to prison for committing insider trading even though he was already extraordinarily wealthy.
Making money can be harder than keeping money.
Jesse Livermore was a successful stock trader in early twentieth-century America, worth $100 million in today’s dollars at the age of 30. He made a fortune by shorting stocks just before the crash of 1929, but subsequently lost it all by making larger and larger bets.
40% of publicly traded companies eventually lose all of their value.
Do not spend money to show off your money. That’s the fastest way to lose money. Savings = Income - Ego.
The most successful entrepreneurs endure by having perseverance and humility, and minimizing risky behavior.
It is possible to make a fortune even if you are wrong most of the time. The key is to spread your risk and invest in a variety of assets. This is because of the long tail, where a small number of successes offset a large number of failures. For example, if you invest in 100 different stocks, you only need a few of them to excel in order to make a profit.
Heinz Berggruen bought a small watercolor by Paul Klee for $100 in 1940, which was the beginning of his lifelong passion for art. By the 1990s, he had amassed a large collection of art, many of them by unknown artists. However, it also included Picassos, Klees, Matisses, and Braques, and so his collection is worth about $1 billion.
One of the most important things we can do to improve our financial lives is to develop a long-term perspective. We should set clear goals and align our financial decisions with those goals. We need to learn to think about money in terms of decades and generations, rather than just short-term gains or losses.

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

Susan Cain

An exploration of how introverts can thrive in an extroverted world.

2.7 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Studies suggest a third to a half of Americans are introverts.
Being an introvert or extrovert affects all aspects of life: partners, friends, jobs, lifestyle, relationships, and career advancement.
There are no universally accepted definitions of extroversion and introversion, but you can determine where you are in the extrovert-introvert spectrum.
You are more extroverted if you:
Are sociable, outgoing, and enjoy interacting with others; like being the center of attention and thrive on external stimuli and excitement.
Need a lot of social engagements, have many friends and acquaintances and enjoy large groups.
Are prone to exuberance and euphoria.
Take big risks seeking success and need acknowledgement from others.
You are more introverted if you:
Prefer calm environments and enjoy solitude and quiet. You don’t need constant external stimulation.
Tend to think carefully through experiences and mistakes. If you lose money in stocks, you’ll analyze what happened before investing more.
Can focus deeply on intellectual and artistic projects.
Have few but deep friendships.
Enjoy small groups more than large gatherings and crowds.
Comfortable discussing personal and social issues in depth with close friends.
Many introverts are highly sensitive.
Highly sensitive people process information deeply, and enjoy conversations on values, not superficial small talk.
Sensitive introverts are deeply impacted emotionally by tragedies and cruelty. They also respond more emotionally to daily impressions.
Introverts have a strong moral conscience, aware of how their behavior impacts others, and mistakes weigh heavily on them.
Highly sensitive introverts care about being seen positively by others, making meeting new people stressful.
Highly sensitive people notice changes faster, and react more strongly to stimuli (e.g, glances, pain, coffee).
There is a difference between shyness and introversion. Shyness is the fear of negative judgment. Introversion is the preference for quiet and low stimulation situations.
Barbra Streisand is an extrovert but is still shy because she experiences stage fright.
Our emotional response is controlled by the amygdala, which determines how we react to input from the outside world.
High-reactive people have very sensitive amygdalae, so they strongly react to stimuli and prefer low-stimulation environments. They tend to become introverts.
Low-reactive people's brains don't respond as easily to stimulation, so they seek out more stimulating environments and become extroverts.
Experiments show that our differences in reactivity to stimulation are present even in infancy.
Extroverted children are like dandelions -- they thrive almost anywhere. Introverted children are like orchids -- they flourish in the right environment.
Parenting introverts is about empathy, understanding their needs and slowly expanding their comfort zones.
Pressure, overstimulation, or dismissal increases introverts' risk of depression and disorders.
In the Western world, extroverts are often seen as more competent, intelligent, interesting, and attractive than introverts, and Western institutions reinforce extroverted values. However, in Asian cultures, introverts are admired for being studious, respectful and less arrogant than the stereotypically loud extroverts.
America's move from rural to urban reshaped personality ideals over the 20th century.
Previously, rural communities knew you based on your actions. Now first impressions mattered most.
Cities favored flashy extroversion over quiet industriousness because you had to sell yourself in the ocean of anonymity.
Introverts have the capacity to purposefully tap into extroverted behaviors, even if it's not their natural tendency.
Many introverted professors use extroverted behaviors -- striding confidently, speaking clearly and loudly, with a relaxed posture -- to teach effectively.
Having a greater purpose can motivate introverts to adapt extroverted traits in key situations.
Many employers create workplaces catering only to extroverts -- open offices, group brainstorming, interactive presentations. Introverts struggle with constant interruptions, noise, and disruptive coworkers in open offices.
Companies should provide flexibility for both temperaments, allowing exchange of ideas but also focused work in private.
Don't assume open offices and groupthink are universally productive. Play to introverts' strengths too. Most major works of art and innovation are largely created in solitude (e.g, Einstein's theories, Chopin's works, Orwell's 1984, Wozniak’s PC, and Rowling's Harry Potter series).
Research suggests that for simple repetitive tasks, extroverted leaders' focus on motivation, rules and speed works well. For more complex work requiring creativity, introverted leaders allow more input and generate more ideas and innovation.
Studies show that introverted leaders perform better than extroverts when managing proactive employees. This is unsurprising because introverts are more open to suggestions and less dominating.
During the 2008 crisis, many companies with extroverted leaders had made risky investments, deciding fast with little data. These companies suffered greatly. Companies with introverted leaders researched thoroughly before deciding. The cautious companies weathered the storm better. When quick action is needed, extroverts excel. When careful thought is required, introverts fare better.
Companies should employ both introverted and extroverted leaders for best performance.
In conflicts, extroverts tend to get aggressive, and introverts tend to retreat, which can be problematic. Employers should nurture understanding between the two temperaments. Great collaboration happens when they understand each other's perspectives.

The Relationship Cure

John M. Gottman and Joan DeClaire

A transformative and practical program for turning troubled relationships into positive ones.

3.4 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Relationships fall into many categories -- romantic partners, friends, coworkers, family, and children. There's no silver bullet to cure all types of relationships, but there are general strategies to help you greatly improve them.
Contrary to popular belief, people don't form close relationships simply by "opening up" to each other.
A research experiment orchestrated by the author and his colleagues called "the Love Lab" monitored 60 couples for 12 hours a day. There were few instances of "opening up" -- most conversations were casual and mundane. The researchers concluded it's not what you talk about that maintains close relationships, it's how you talk to each other that matters.
The four horsemen of the apocalypse (behaviors that can destroy a relationship) are criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.
The "bids" in a relationship are the most fundamental units. A "bid" is an attempt to establish an emotional connection through verbal or nonverbal communication. Examples include a question ("did you see that movie?"), an exclamation ("look at that sunset!"), a gesture (offering a seat), or even a facial expression (a smile).
A bid can be responded to in three ways: turning toward, turning away, or turning against. It's how you respond to these bids that determine the quality of your relationships.
If someone calls you and asks you if you want to read an article, and you say "Yes, please send me it!". That's turning towards the bid and positively establishing the connection. If you ignore the bid and respond with "Do you know what time it is?" That's turning away from the bid. Finally, if you say "Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?" You are turning against the bid.
Turning towards a bid shows that you value the other person. Turning away or against the bid potentially signals that you don't appreciate the other person.
Bids can sometimes seem like inconsequential small talk, but they often have deeper meanings.
Imagine a romantic couple sitting on a couch. The woman asks "Isn't it a bit chilly?" This could be a bid from her to ask for a cuddle. She did not straightforwardly ask for a cuddle because the rejection will be harder to handle. It is easier to disagree on temperature or to be handed a blanket, than to receive rejection for physical intimacy. Sometimes bids are purposefully vague for a good reason.
Bids can be hard to recognize or interpret. When a child has a tantrum, it can be a bid for comfort. When your partner criticizes you for not calling enough, it's a bid for more communication. It can be difficult to respond positively when bids involve negative feelings like sadness, anger, or fear, but if we attempt to understand and acknowledge what the other person's unmet needs are, relationships will improve. Consider hugging and comforting the child who has a tantrum instead of chastising him.
To better understand other people's bids, learn about where they're coming from.
A couple, Sarah and Rick, sought therapy from the author. Sarah would get angry at Rick for watching TV instead of talking to her, and a fight would ensue. Rick was raised by his grandmother who resented him and constantly berated him. Consequently, Rick developed low self-esteem. Rick's negative response to Sarah's criticism is a residual effect of his upbringing -- he is thinking that Sarah is saying "You can't do anything right," and attacking his self-worth just like his grandma did. Sarah is one of seven siblings who was taught to keep her needs to herself. She continued to do so as an adult, and after a while her frustrations will bubble up and end with complaints. In reality, Sarah just wanted a closer connection to Rick with her grievance about watching TV.
If we consider our own and other people's emotional heritage we'll be able to understand and respond to bids more helpfully.
When you're making a bid, consider your underlying needs, and express them with soft language.
One night, the author was waiting for his wife to join dinner as she was still working. Eventually, the author became frustrated and yelled, "Stop working! It's family time!" The wife felt attacked and yelled back, "I can't! I need to finish this!" If the author rephrased his bid with softer language (e.g., "Honey, we miss you! Come up and have dinner with us when you can please."), his wife would have responded much differently.
To build connections, turn towards the bids and propose your own bids. For example, if someone asks you if you have plans for lunch, you can understand the underlying meaning of the bid and ask them if they'd like to join you for lunch. Furthermore, you can ask them if they know any good restaurants around the area. This will keep the connection going and the relationship will naturally develop.
You don't always have to accept bids to respond positively. If someone suggests lunch and you are busy, you can still decline it and propose another bid, like having lunch tomorrow instead.
Your responses to one or two bids will not determine the quality of the relationship. Your pattern of responding to bids will. If you have a pattern of turning towards bids, then the relationship will bloom. If the pattern is negative, then the relationship will falter. For instance, if you occasionally invite someone to dinner, and they respond positively most of the time, then you'll feel that they enjoy your company. However, if they reject your invitation frequently and do not propose another bid, then you'll feel that they don't enjoy being with you, and the relationship will deteriorate.
A study found that in marriages ending in divorce, husbands reacted negatively to their wives' bids 82% of the time. In stable marriages, husbands reacted negatively to their wives' bids only 19% of the time.
If there’s a lot of conflict in your relationship, reflect on what isn’t being discussed.
Having a shared vision and purpose in a relationship is important to keep the foundation of the relationship strong.
Engaging in shared rituals can make the relationship stronger.

The Republic

Plato

One of the world's most influential works of philosophy and political theory.

4 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Socrates, Plato’s teacher, asks Cephalus about the experience of old age, wondering if it is a painful stage of life. Cephalus responds by saying that while some people are unhappy in old age because they miss their youth, he has encountered individuals who do not feel that way.
Cephalus recounts an encounter with Sophocles, where the poet expressed joy at having escaped the grip of love/libido/sex and other passionate desires associated with youth. Cephalus agrees with Sophocles, believing that old age brings profound tranquility and freedom from such desires. “It is like being delivered from a multitude of furious masters.” Socrates finds comfort in this perspective.
Socrates asks Cephalus, Polemarchus, and Thrasymachus to define justice.
Cephalus: justice is giving what is owed. Socrates retorts by asking that if someone has intentions to harm, should you give him the weapons owed to him?
Polemarchus: the art which gives good to friends and evil to enemies. Socrates retorts that it’s immoral to harm and you can confuse enemies and friends.
Thrasymachus: justice is nothing else than the interest of the stronger. Socrates retorts that a just ruler should benefit the people just like a good doctor should benefit his patients.
Socrates claims it is to one's advantage to be just and disadvantage to be unjust, and the just man would never harm another.
Socrates' young companions, Glaucon and Adeimantus make the following claims on justice:
Justice originated from social contracts aimed at preventing individuals from suffering injustice and being unable to seek revenge.
People practice justice reluctantly and out of fear of punishment, if they had the power, they would act unjustly.
The life of an unjust person is more fulfilling compared to that of a just person. For example, in the story of Gyges, he gains immense advantages by committing injustices with the help of a ring that makes him invisible.
People value justice solely for the rewards it brings, such as fortune, honor, and reputation.
Unjust men can receive religious forgiveness by making religious sacrifices.
Socrates and his interlocutors use a luxurious city governed by a guardian class of philosopher kings as a metaphor to understand the nature of justice within an individual's soul.
The education of these guardians is examined, emphasizing the virtues of wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance, along with physical training to promote good health.
Socrates suggests that male and female guardians should receive the same education.
Socrates advocates for the communal sharing of spouses and children, as well as the prohibition of private property.
The importance of proper education in maintaining a just society is emphasized, as it shapes individuals' behavior and prevents lawlessness.
Children are raised collectively, with no knowledge of their biological parents, fostering social cohesion.
The youth are educated in works that promote self-improvement for the benefit of the state, presenting gods as entirely good and just.
In the ideal city, the philosopher-king must possess intelligence, reliability, and a willingness to lead a simple life.
A "noble lie" (that all are siblings born of the earth of the city) to create a sense of connection and belonging among citizens is necessary to develop a strong attachment to the city, leading people to protect and support it during times of conflict and peace.
The study of individuals cannot be separated from the examination of their city. Just as a city shapes its citizens, the citizens also influence and shape their city.
An individual’s soul is revealed through his speeches. A city’s soul is founded on its laws.
The city and soul are divided into three parts (reason, spirit, and desire), and each part of the city corresponds to a specific part of the individual's soul. In the city, reason is represented by rulers, spirit is represented by the army, and desire is represented by farmers and artists.
Socrates concludes that philosophers, who are least susceptible to corruption, should rule the ideal city. These philosopher-kings possess knowledge of the Forms (the physical world is not as real as absolute ideas) and govern for the common good, practicing sober communism and eschewing personal property and salary.
Socrates proposes that justice means responsibly fulfilling one's appropriate role, benefiting oneself and the city.
Socrates states the dangers of appearing just while being truly unjust. He compares it to a deceptive weapon-maker who produces shields that look sturdy but fail in battle. Cities with laws that benefit the few and are ruled by tyrants are inherently unjust, even if they appear just.
Socrates tells the Allegory of the Cave:
A group of prisoners is confined in a cave, unable to see the outside world. They only perceive shadows cast on the cave wall by objects illuminated by a fire. These prisoners mistake the shadows for reality and assign names to them.
When a prisoner is released and exposed to the outside world, he is initially blinded by the light but gradually perceives the true nature of objects and realizes that the shadows were mere imitations. This represents the philosopher's journey from ignorance to knowledge of the Forms.
The philosopher's duty is then to return to the cave and enlighten others, as they are best equipped to govern society based on their understanding of true goodness.
Socrates’ progression of governments involves five types of regimes: aristocracy, timocracy, oligarchy, democracy, and tyranny.
It begins with an ideal aristocracy ruled by a philosopher-king, but over time, it deteriorates into timocracy when the next generation focuses on honor and wealth accumulation rather than cultivating virtues.
Timocracy is replaced by oligarchy, where the rich rule and become stringent to maintain their wealth.
As tensions between social classes grow and they clash, democracy emerges. Eventually an attractive demagogue rises to power.
Democracy eventually degenerates into tyranny, where a tyrant holds absolute power and causes chaos.
Socrates also applies these regimes to individuals and their corresponding souls. It begins with the aristocrat, who may become weak or detached from power, leading his ambitious son to become overly ambitious. This leads to the emergence of the timocrat, who seeks wealth and power to protect himself. The timocrat's son, growing up in a wealthy environment, becomes an oligarch, valuing material wealth above all else. The oligarch's son, indulged in desires, becomes a democratic individual torn between passions and discipline. He values freedom but is influenced by both good and bad desires. Finally, the democratic individual may evolve into a tyrant, driven by unrestrained desires and lacking in discipline or moderation.
Socrates concludes with The Myth of Er, a story that explores the concept of the afterlife and the consequences of one's actions in life. Er, a soldier who died in battle, is granted the opportunity to return to life and shares his account of the afterlife. He describes a journey where souls are judged and rewarded or punished based on their deeds. The just and virtuous are rewarded, while the unjust and wicked face punishments. Each soul chooses a new life, guided by a divine being, to either learn from past mistakes or continue their virtuous path. The myth emphasizes the importance of leading a just and ethical life, as it has implications not only in this world but also in the realm beyond death.

Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not

Robert Kiyosaki and Sharon L. Lechter

A game-changing book that teaches the fundamental lessons of personal finance, wealth creation, and financial independence.

2.1 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Most of us are stuck in the "rat race" -- the endless routine of working for everyone but yourself. When you're in the rat race, other people receive the majority of the rewards of your work. However, we participate in the rat race because it's what's normal, and we fear society's disapproval when we deviate from it.
Going to school, studying hard, and getting a good job will help you make a living, but it will not make you wealthy.
We all experience fear and greed when it comes to money. The key is not to let these emotions guide your financial choices. When you use your hard earned money to purchase a fancy new car, that is greed. When you avoid stocks because of the risk of losing money, that is fear. Greed and fear can keep you from being rich. Expand your financial knowledge and learn about investments, risk, and debt to make more rational decisions.
Many capable, talented, and hard-working people are not rich, or even poor, because they lack financial intelligence. This is because we are not taught financial intelligence in school, even though it's important for personal and societal prosperity. 75 to 80% of Americans have ineffective pensions. 50% of Americans are without pensions.
Appraise finances (how much do I make and how much can I spend?), set goals (e.g., a new house in five years), and get educated (your mind is the best thing to invest in -- learn about finances, improve your professional skills, read relevant books, and make connections with people in your area of interest). The earlier you do these things, the more successful you'll be.
Wealthy people are able to manage risks instead of avoiding them. It's not possible to become wealthy without risks and keeping all your money in a bank account. Invest in things that generate value like stocks, bonds, tax lien certificates, real estate, etc. Generally, the higher the risk, the higher the potential for return.
The road to wealth is bumpy. You will need to find ways to stay motivated when things go astray. Make a list of "wants" (e.g., I want to be debt free) and "don't wants" (e.g., I don't want to end up like my parents) and refer to them occasionally for motivation.
It is crucial to make sure you earn more than you spend. Create a worksheet to keep track of your monthly finances.
Spend money on yourself before paying your bills. The necessity of paying the bills will give you the pressure and motivation to work harder to make more money.
Read stories of other successful people. You'll find they all struggled on their way to success.
Even financially smart people can become poor if they are lazy or arrogant. Lazy in this sense means avoiding things that should be done. For example, even if you work hard 60 hours a week, you can still be considered lazy if you ignore your familial problems. Arrogant means "ignorance plus ego", and it can lead you to make disastrous investments.
Only invest in assets, not liabilities. Assets (e.g., stocks, businesses, bonds, real estate) make you money. Liabilities (e.g., cars, boats) cost you money. When you invest in assets, your money becomes employees working to create income for you. The more employees you have, the more money you generate.
Your profession pays the bills. Your business creates wealth. In the beginning, you need to build your business while working at your profession.
If a chef works five days a week and takes his extra income to buy a condo to be a landlord, then his profession is cooking, and his business is his condo. As your business grows, it will eventually replace your profession as the main source of income. This is how you gain financial independence.
To maximize your wealth, learn about taxes. For example, filing as a corporation instead of an individual could save you money.

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind

Yuval Noah Harari

A groundbreaking narrative of humanity’s creation and evolution.

4.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Homo sapiens, the modern humans, appeared about 300,000 years ago in East Africa, and they were no more special than other animals.
The Cognitive Revolution set Homo sapiens apart due to their unique ability to communicate through language, which allowed for the sharing of complex ideas and cooperation in large groups.
Language enabled humans to create shared fictions, beliefs, and concepts, leading to the development of cultures, nations, religions, laws, and money. These advances enabled Sapiens to unify and dominate.
Understanding the fictional nature of the things that structure our lives may give us more power over our destinies and our future as a species.
Early Homo sapiens were hunter-gatherers who relied on their environment for survival, hunting animals and foraging for plants.
Their lives were characterized by constant movement, following seasonal patterns of food availability and migration of animals.
Cooperation and communication were essential for the survival of their small bands, and they shared responsibilities based on gender and age.
Life was uncertain, with the constant threat of predators and natural dangers, leading to the development of social bonds and mutual support.
Their beliefs were limited to immediate concerns, such as finding food and staying safe. They had no elaborate myths or religions.
Their social structures were simple, likely organized around kinship and shared experiences.
The Agricultural Revolution, approximately 10,000 years ago, marked a significant shift in human history, transitioning from hunter-gatherer societies to settled agricultural communities.
Agricultural societies could sustain larger populations, but they also brought about new challenges, such as social hierarchies, inequality, and diseases.
In hunter-gatherer bands of 30-50 people, there was social equality and little organized violence. With agriculture and cities came hierarchy and organized violence between social classes, ethnic groups, and states.
Domestication of plants and animals reshaped human culture and behavior. The transition to agriculture laid the foundation for complex civilizations, technological advancements, and the eventual rise of empires.
The myth of a Great Flood is found in various cultures (e.g., the biblical story of Noah's Ark), suggesting a collective memory of early agricultural societies grappling with the challenges of water control and societal organization.
With settled agriculture came new challenges, including the need to control water for irrigation, leading to the construction of complex systems like dams and canals.
These large-scale water projects required collective cooperation and organization, leading to the emergence of centralized authority and social hierarchies.
The Flood myth symbolizes a transition from small-scale, egalitarian societies to larger, organized civilizations.
All social orders, from ancient religions to modern political systems, are essentially fictional, yet people’s collective belief in them gives them power.
The nation-state is an imagined entity which unites millions of people under a common identity and authority, fostering a sense of belonging and loyalty.
The concept of limited liability corporations is an imagined reality that empowers large-scale economic activities by separating the entity from its owners.
Ruling classes used stories about the glory of the gods and nation to justify inequality and exploitation of the masses. The ruled majority complied in the name of a mythical common good. This is a major factor of why agricultural societies, despite their initial disadvantages (e.g., less varied diet and daily lives), succeeded over hunter-gatherers.
Our economic and political systems are based on collective myths we internalize and accept as real. Understanding they are mere stories can empower us to question our realities.
Egypt's pyramids were built to house the tombs of pharaohs, ensuring their safe journey to the afterlife and perpetuating their rule.
They symbolize the power and authority of rulers, serving as a demonstration of their divine connection and ability to mobilize vast resources.
The construction of pyramids and other monumental structures contributed to technological advancements and specialization of labor.
Despite their grandeur, pyramids often came at a high cost, with the labor force enduring harsh conditions and oppressive regimes.
The transition from oral traditions to written records transformed human societies.
Oral traditions were limited by human memory and prone to distortion, making it challenging to transmit knowledge accurately across generations.
The development of writing systems, around 5,000 years ago, revolutionized human communication by providing a more reliable and permanent method of recording information.
Writing contributed to the rise of large-scale civilizations, as bureaucratic systems and legal frameworks became possible.
Writing introduced a shift in human cognition, as people relied more on external records than internal memory. The abundance of recorded information led to information overload, making it increasingly difficult for individuals to process and retain all the data available.
Specialization emerged as a response to the growing complexity of knowledge, with individuals focusing on specific fields of expertise.
The advent of writing and the accumulation of knowledge transformed education, with formal institutions and standardized curricula becoming the norm.
Justice is a human-made construct, varying across cultures and time periods, and often serves the interests of those in power.
Dominant social structures unfold based on chaos and coincidence, not on their moral superiority.
Judaism began as an insignificant cult in a remote desert, but through a string of improbable events became a major world religion that spread monotheism.
Christianity took hold in the Roman Empire due to contingent factors like urbanization, literacy and transport networks. It did not spread due to being morally superior.
The European empires that conquered the world were no more ethical -- they just industrialized first by happenstance.
The Nazis were defeated not due to moral triumph but industrial might.
There is no guarantee good or just ideas succeed. People easily accept beliefs that justify the existing order as natural and inevitable. Our current values may seem enlightened, but future generations may see them as unethical. We must not complacently assume our beliefs are the best.
Change does not equal progress. The arrow of history is not guaranteed to move in a positive direction. While some indicators like technology and longevity have improved, it is debatable whether we have become happier or more ethical as societies.
Technological advancements and material prosperity has brought about significant challenges and threats, such as environmental damage and nuclear weapons.
Money enables complex economic cooperation between individuals and parties by providing an abstract standard of value and means of exchange.
The current global monetary system is mostly based on fiat money, where its value is derived from government regulation and not backed by any physical commodity. What sustains it is faith in the system itself. The system is vulnerable to collapse.
Since money facilitates cooperation without intimacy, the modern economy has enabled unprecedented productivity between strangers, but it has also alienated us from community and nature.
Our current economic system pressures us to perpetually increase profits and consumption despite environmental limits. We have monetized and commercialized more and more of human life and nature itself. This also creates new levels of inequality.
Imperialism involves the desire to conquer and control vast territories and diverse populations under a single ruling power. Imperialism was often justified through the belief in the superiority of the conquering civilization and the need to "civilize" or "enlighten" others.
Our modern values descend from this era, and implicit hierarchies linger wherein Western values are still seen as the apex of progress.
To advance ethically, we must question ingrained imperialistic assumptions.
The European age of imperialism successfully spread its economic and political systems globally, but did not destroy traditional religions and cultures as the European conquerors were more focused on economic exploitation.
Religious laws and beliefs have influenced the development of legal systems, with many ancient legal codes being intertwined with religious teachings. The separation of church and state in some societies led to the proliferation of secular legal systems, but religious influence on laws still persists in many parts of the world.
Early humans had limited knowledge and explanations for natural phenomena, often resorting to myths and supernatural beliefs. The discovery of ignorance refers to the recognition of how little humans truly understand about the universe and its complexities.
Acknowledging ignorance drove the growth of science. The Scientific Revolution marked a shift in human thinking, as individuals began to question traditional beliefs and seek empirical evidence and rational explanations for the world.
History is not deterministic. There are many possible outcomes, and the choices we make today will shape the future.

The Secret

Rhonda Byrne

A guide to creating the life you desire through positive thinking and belief.

1.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Our thoughts and emotions have the ability to shape our reality, and by harnessing the law of attraction, we can manifest our desires and achieve success and happiness.
The law of attraction suggests that what you emit into the universe is what you will attract back into your life.
Negative thoughts and emotions will attract more negativity, while positive thoughts and emotions will attract positivity.
For example, if you feel anger most of the time, you will encounter more events that will make you angry. Conversely, if you keep a happy mindset, you’ll have more things in your life to be happy about.
You are what you think.
This law is referenced by poets, philosophers, and religious texts.
The law of attraction operates on positive statements. Negative statements are harmful.
To change one's current state, it is essential to send out positive messages and focus on what is desired.
Make your message and desire as specific as possible.
Say positive statements like “I will have $500,000 in my savings account in five years” instead of negative statements like “I don’t want to be poor”.
Pro-peace protests are more effective than anti-war protests.
The universe is made of energy vibrating at different frequencies, and objects with matching frequencies are naturally attracted. Similarly, changing our thoughts changes our thought frequencies, which affect what is attracted to us. Our predominant frequency is determined by what we think about most, and it shapes our experiences.
When you love and respect yourself, the universe will send you people that love and respect you.
There are three steps to shape the universe into what you want:
Ask: clearly state what you desire using language that is specific, shows gratitude as if you’ve already received it, and in the present tense. Example: “I am grateful to be in a loving relationship.”
Believe: have the utmost faith and confidence in your desires.
Receive: envision the feeling of already having what you desire to reinforce the right frequencies, and open yourself to receive the opportunities that come your way.
Visualization is helpful to believing and receiving positive thoughts. Print the bank statement you want to have or a photo of the place you want to live.
Repeating affirmations like "I can do it!" can also reinforce positive thinking.
Your body replaces all its cells every three years. By changing thought patterns, eliminating negative thoughts (e.g., “I’m scared to be fat”), and believing in the body's ability to heal itself, individuals can improve their well-being.
We are part of the universe and we should strive to live in harmony with it and not be in competition with it.
If what you do in your life feels like a chore, then you’re on the wrong track and there is probably resistance and fear surrounding you. When you’re on the right track, all you do will feel natural, enjoyable, and with no inner resistance.

The Selfish Gene

Richard Dawkins

A landmark evolution book about the importance of genes and the birth of memes.

4.7 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Intelligent life begins when it starts questioning why it exists. Charles Darwin provided the first credible explanation that humans evolved from simpler organisms.
Genes (molecules that make up the DNA) are the fundamental unit of evolution. They are selfish replicators that strive to survive and make copies of themselves.
For genes to survive, they need a well-functioning organism. That's why genes in one organism cooperate to build a working body (e.g., humans), a survival machine that helps the genes propagate by reproducing.
“We are survival machines -- robot vehicles blindly programmed to preserve the selfish molecules known as genes.”
Survival of the fittest suggests genes that promote selfishness are more likely to survive. However, altruistic behaviors still exist (e.g., parents putting their children before themselves), but these can still be explained by genes promoting their own survival since the parents and children share similar genes.
Some scientists believe that altruistic behaviors are driven by the survival of the group, but this theory doesn’t explain why selflessness hasn’t died out, since putting the group first means you’re less likely to live and reproduce. Also, a “group” is hard to define precisely.
The universe's complexity arose from a simple beginning of atoms randomly bumping into each other. Eventually some atoms formed stable molecules and some even had the ability to self-replicate, starting the first instance of natural selection. These replicators' became the foundation for life, competing for resources and evolving over time into the complex organisms we see today, including humans.
All living things, from humans to bacteria, share the same basic chemistry. Their genetic instructions (DNA, made from segments of genes), are all built from the same molecule shaped like a double helix with a specific sequence of four types of building blocks (A, T, G, C). This sequence is the only difference between organisms, and it's shuffled and passed down through generations.
A gene’s chances for success depend on the environment and the gene pool. A gene to withstand cold will fail in warm climates. A gene for sharp teeth will fail if there’s no genes to digest meat.
Dawkins speculates that we die because deadly genes are more likely to be activated after we are past the age of reproduction.
We reproduce because our genes are selfish replicators only concerned with their own survival, and building new bodies benefits their own continued existence even though only half their genetic information gets passed on.
Neurons and brains evolved because they allowed organisms to react/move quickly, simulate situations, communicate, etc., increasing their chances of survival and reproduction.
Memory arose as a way to refine these behaviors.
Dawkins uses the analogy of computer programmers to explain how genes, despite seemingly giving brains a lot of control, are still ultimately in charge. They provide the long-term instructions and the brains make short-term decisions based on those instructions, similar to how a programmer for a chess-playing program only provides the code but lets the program make each move.
Selfish genes want to survive and reproduce, thus animals compete for resources and mates. One might think that the most successful strategy is to kill rivals (e.g. cannibalism), but this is rarely seen in reality.
Animal behavior can be explained through the evolutionarily stable strategy (ESS).
Example: In a society with all doves (passive), no one gets hurt. If a hawk (aggressive) appears, it will win all fights until there are too many hawks that kill/injure each other and doves become more successful again. This creates a stable balance of hawk and dove behaviors.
ESS explains why genes seem to cooperate. Genes that work well together form a stable unit that is hard for new unhelpful genes to infiltrate.
Kin selection is a type of altruism that benefits relatives who share a higher number of genes with the organism. The degree of altruism is proportional to the genetic relatedness between individuals.
Organisms don't calculate their genetic relatedness, but their genes program them with behaviors that favor those who seem to share more genes.
Parents show more altruism toward their children than the vice-versa. This is because parents need their children to survive and reproduce to pass on their genes, whereas a child's genes benefit less from the parent's continued survival.
Self-population control (not breeding as much as possible) might seem altruistic on the surface but it is still due to selfish genes. For example, birds lay fewer eggs than they can because raising too many reduces the chances of any offspring surviving, ultimately favoring genes that promote successful offspring over sheer egg production.
Animals balance between bearing and caring for offspring.
“Wild animals almost never die of old age: starvation, disease, or predators catch up with them long before they become really senile. Until recently this was true of man too. Most animals die in childhood, many never get beyond the egg stage. Starvation and other causes of death are the ultimate reasons why populations cannot increase indefinitely.”
From a purely genetic perspective, a parent should ideally invest equally in all their children to maximize the number of their genes passed on. However, factors like a child's health or age can influence this investment.
Children may compete for resources or try to manipulate their parents to get more investment. This might create a conflict with the parent's optimal investment strategy.
Humans need to teach children altruism to counteract selfishness favored by nature.
Mating behavior is driven by selfish genes. To maximize the genes’ survival, females typically invest more in offspring due to the larger and less abundant sex cells (eggs), while males try to minimize their investment and inseminate as many females as possible with the more abundant sperm.
The competition between the sexes to replicate their own genes leads to the evolution of various mating behaviors.
Female birds require a lot of courting to make the males still invested after mating.
Male mice secrete chemicals to cause miscarriages in female mice carrying another mouse’s offspring.
Male lions kill existing cubs when joining a pride.
Tendency to be in a group can be explained by the selfish gene -- groups make goals (e.g., hunting prey, surviving against predators) easier to achieve.
"Kamikaze" bees die as they sting, but this is not altruism. Only sterile bees sting, so no genes are lost.
Dawkins introduces the concept of memes (from the ancient Greek word mimeme, meaning something imitated) as a new type of replicator emerging in human culture, analogous to genes but spreading through imitation of ideas, behaviors, and cultural artifacts.
“We need a name for the new replicator, a noun that conveys the idea of a unit of cultural transmission, or a unit of imitation. 'Mimeme' comes from a suitable Greek root, but I want a monosyllable that sounds a bit like 'gene'.”
Culture transmission is not restricted to humans. Research shows that some birdsongs are learned, not inherited.
Culture helps us understand behaviors that are counterintuitive to biological drives (e.g., celibacy).
“Examples of memes are tunes, ideas, catch-phrases, clothes fashions, ways of making pots or of building arches. Just as genes propagate themselves in the gene pool by leaping from body to body via sperms or eggs, so memes propagate themselves in the meme pool by leaping from brain to brain via a process which, in the broad sense, can be called imitation.”
Like genes, memes vary in their success and longevity, mutate as they are transmitted, and compete for limited resources like brain memory and media space. However, memes differ from genes in that they can replicate intact for long periods (e.g. religions), are shaped by psychological appeal, and are subject to human conscious foresight which allows altruism to overcome selfish tendencies.
“We, alone on earth, can rebel against the tyranny of the selfish replicators.”
Nature is a non-zero sum game (can have multiple winners). The benefit of cooperation outweighs exploitation.
Fig trees and fig wasps cooperate through mutually beneficial pollination and nourishment, despite the potential for one side to exploit the other by overproducing eggs or shedding egg-laden flowers.
“Nice guys finish first.”
The phenotype (observable traits from your genes) can extend beyond the body of the organism. This idea is explored in depth in Dawkin’s other book, The Extended Phenotype.
For example, beaver dams and bird nests are considered phenotypic effects of genes because they help the genes survive.
“The rabbit runs faster than the fox, because the rabbit is running for his life while the fox is only running for his dinner.”

Shoe Dog: A Memoir by the Creator of Nike

Phil Knight

An edifying memoir of the triumphs and hard-won lessons from the man behind Nike's meteoric rise from startup to global titan.

3.3 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Pursue your Crazy Idea and your calling. Don’t chase money or simply a job.
“Let everyone else call your idea crazy... just keep going. Don't stop. Don't even think about stopping until you get there, and don’t give much thought to where ‘there’ is. Whatever comes, just don't stop... I believe it’s the best advice -- maybe the only advice -- any of us should ever give.”
“I’d tell men and women in their mid-twenties not to settle for a job or a profession or even a career. Seek a calling. Even if you don’t know what that means, seek it. If you’re following your calling, the fatigue will be easier to bear, the disappointments will be fuel, the highs will be like nothing you’ve ever felt.”
Knight’s passion for running gave him his Crazy Idea -- importing running shoes from Japan and selling them in America.
Knight understood the importance of having a global perspective when starting a business. He knew in order to leave his mark and build a successful company, he needed to embrace opportunities worldwide rather than confine himself locally.
At age 24, Knight traveled to Japan and convinced Onitsuka, a shoe manufacturer, to let him be the distributor in America. Knight had to lie about having a company (Blue Ribbon, named after decorations on his childhood wall) to achieve this deal.
Blue Ribbon soon became a real company.
Knight sent shoe samples to his college coach Bill Bowerman, who was a well-known Olympic coach. Bowerman liked them so much that he wanted to join the business.
Bowerman obtained 49% of Blue Ribbon. Knight had 51% with the help of an investment from his father.
Blue Ribbon soon sold out all the shoes by going to track meets and had to order more shipments.
Even though the shoes were selling well, the shipments would often come late, causing difficulties in meeting bank loan payments. Knight struggled with cash shortages and financing for many years as the business grew.
A successful company requires a great team. Other than Knight, the other key members of Blue Ribbon were Bill Bowerman, Jeff Johnson, and Bob Woodell.
Bowerman’s reputation grew as his athletes won Olympic medals. He also provided improvements for the shoes to better fit the heavier American athletes.
Jeff Johnson knew Knight from college. He is also passionate about running and is known to be hard working. He continued to sell shoes even after a serious car accident. He was responsible for opening the first retail store.
Bob Woodell is a former paralyzed track star. He ran the company’s second retail store. He overcame his disability and grew with the company.
Knight trusted his team. He knew he hired people that believed they were making a difference in athletes’ lives. He did not micromanage them. He inspired a fun work environment, and gave his team the autonomy to excel and innovate in their roles. As a result, his team consistently exceeded his expectations.
“Don’t tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.”
Knight realized Onitsuka wanted to use other American distributors even though they just signed a three-year contract. Knight decided to threaten to sue other potential distributors, and then find another manufacturer with a backup company.
Knight created a backup company called Nike (Greek goddess of victory). The name was suggested by Johnson and Knight didn’t love it at first.
The famous Nike Swoosh, which Knight didn’t love, was designed by Carolyn Davidson for $35.
Knight found financing from a Japanese trading company, Nissho Iwai, who also connected him with shoe manufacturers.
Onitsuka voided Blue Ribbon’s contract and sued them after Onitsuka found out about Nike. After a tough legal battle, Blue Ribbon won because the judge found their testimony more truthful.
Nike faced financial troubles from Knight's aggressive growth pursuit. They often depleted cash reserves paying for large shoe orders. Eventually Nike’s bank dropped them, leaving Nike unable to pay anyone. Nissho audited Nike, found poor finances but believed in the potential, and paid off Nike’s debts so they could continue to operate.
After the bailout, Nike sought to innovate. Bowerman used a waffle iron to create gridded rubber soles. It became a breakthrough product and a mainstream success.
Innovation is how Nike outshined established companies like Adidas and Puma. Constant innovation is critical to remaining competitive.
Knight initially studied Adidas. It is important to know what your competitors are doing and learn from them.
Nike’s first two signed athlete endorsers were tennis star Ilie Nastase and runner Steve Prefontaine. They treated endorsers as valued team members, not just as advertisers. Nike's generous treatment earned loyalty, and athletes were proud to represent Nike.
Nike hired Prefontaine as Director of Public Affairs since Olympians couldn't take endorsement money.
Nike’s eventual signing of basketball superstar Michael Jordan is one of the most influential deals of all time. Nike could be said to be lucky to have signed Jordan, but it couldn’t have happened without perseverance and hard work. You don’t get lucky by passively waiting for it.
In 1977, US Customs fined Nike $25 million for retroactive shoe import duties that would bankrupt Nike. In response, Nike aired an ad depicting government suppression of business and garnered public support. US Customs reduced the fine to $9 million and Knight reluctantly settled.
Nike overcame many challenges on their journey. Successful entrepreneurs view setbacks as opportunities to learn and emerge stronger rather than reasons to quit.
After long deliberation, Nike went public in 1980 and the founding members made millions. Knight retained most of the control and kept 46% of the company so Nike’s culture and vision could remain focused.
Reflecting after 40 years as CEO, Knight attributes Nike's success to creating an identity customers bought into, which consists of understanding athletes as the heart of the company, innovating designs for performance, and embodying a winning mindset (like "Just Do It").

Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action

Simon Sinek

Why do some people and organizations clearly outperform their peers? This book illustrates how the leaders and companies achieve lasting success by starting with why.

2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

There are two ways to influence behavior, manipulation and inspiration.
Manipulation tries to incentivize behavior through deals and marketing hype.
Manipulation can work in the short-term but fails to build loyalty. When incentives are removed, manipulated customers will leave.
Apple sells expensive products and doesn't offer deals or discounts yet has legions of loyal fans who support them.
Successful companies understand their core purpose -- their why -- and use it to guide everything they do.
“People don't buy what you do; they buy why you do it and what you do simply proves what you believe.”
Inspiration comes from appealing to people's beliefs, values and purpose to motivate them. Get people to relate to your why.
Northern California in the late 1960s was a hotbed of anti-establishment sentiment and revolution. Young people like Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak embraced this spirit. The computer revolution was also unfolding, making personal computers seem within reach. Jobs and Wozniak saw an opportunity. For them, computers weren't about making money, but empowering individuals and challenging the status quo (Apple’s slogan is “Think Different”) -- this was Apple's
why.
The Golden Circle describes the keys to enduring company success. It’s three concentric circles representing why, how, and what.
The outer circle is what -- the products/services a company provides.
The middle circle is how -- how they provide those products/services.
The inner circle is why -- the company's purpose, cause or belief.
The why should be the core of the business. Start with the inner circle and work your way out.
Starting with why resonates emotionally, as people are drawn to organizations with shared beliefs.
Starting with why attracts innovators and early adopters critical for growth.
Starting with why attracts passionate and like-minded employees.
“Great companies don't hire skilled people and motivate them, they hire already motivated people and inspire them.”
“You don’t hire for skills, you hire for attitude. You can always teach skills.”
Many founders don’t know their why even though it’s important. It’s hard to inspire employees or attract loyal customers without knowing the why.
To find your why, investigate yourself to find your purpose. Look to your past for clues. How were you perceived by others? What made you special?
“Working hard for something we do not care about is called stress, working hard for something we love is called passion.”
You need to communicate your why clearly and early.
Refer to the Golden Circle when introducing a product. First explain the why, followed by the how and the what.
Apple introduced the iPod by first stating the importance of music and revealing their intention to revolutionize how music is distributed and consumed (the why), then they talked about the how and finally revealed the iPod itself (the what).
The Celery Test is a metaphor for making decisions guided by your organization's "why".
Imagine you get advice to purchase various foods like candy, cheeseburgers, and celery. Without a clear why, you may try them all, spending time and money without results or visible purpose. With a clear why, like trying to be healthy, you only choose what aligns (celery).
Knowing the why allows the Celery Test to provide a useful filter for decision-making.
When leading companies drift from their guiding why to an obsessive focus on the what (e.g. finances), it's called "the split." Companies centered on metrics and not the mission lose their spark and stall.
As a leader, your job should be focused on the why. Communicate the why to your employees regularly to inspire passion and trust. Get the right people to handle the how.
“All organizations start with why, but only the great ones keep their why clear year after year.”

Steal Like an Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative

Austin Kleon

A manifesto on creativity that inspires readers to embrace their own unique style by borrowing from the ideas and techniques of others.

2.2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Works of art are not created in isolation but rather built upon the legacy of past generations of artists. Great artists are not afraid to steal someone else's ideas. Artists like Picasso and Dali could be considered the biggest thieves of all time. Even The Beatles was first a cover band.
Creativity is not about originality, but rather about recombination and synthesis. Creative work is similar to your DNA -- your genetics might be original but they came from your ancestors.
To create great art, create an artistic family tree by finding an artist you admire and learn about those who influenced them.
It’s important to develop a creative routine and make time for creativity every day.
Copying (not plagiarizing) someone else's work is a great way to start creating your own art. Imitating your heroes in every way possible, including their lifestyle and motivations, can help you find your niche.
As you continue to copy your idols, you'll find there are areas where it’s difficult for you to replicate what they did. Embrace these limitations because they are actually your strengths -- they are what make you unique. This process is called emulation, and it allows you to differentiate yourself from your idols while building upon their legacy.
Examples of successful artists who started this way include Nick Cave (who emulated Leonard Cohen) and Conan O'Brien (who emulated David Letterman, who emulated Johnny Carson, who emulated Jack Benny), who initially copied their idols but eventually found their own distinctive style.
As an artist, you may think that you need to give up your hobbies and side projects to focus entirely on your work, but this can actually hinder your productivity and happiness.
Your hobbies and other projects provide you with an outlet when you encounter creative blocks, and they allow you to take a break and enjoy yourself. These side projects can also create the necessary mental space for innovation.
The author discovered this when he felt empty after giving up playing the guitar to concentrate on art until he allowed himself to go back to the guitar for fun and felt happier and more well-rounded.
Starting out as an artist, obscurity can benefit your career. Without any pressure or expectations, you have the creative freedom to make mistakes and find yourself.
When you feel ready to gain recognition, sharing your work with others is the key to getting noticed. Create a blog or website, or post your work on online platforms to connect with your audience and build a following.
To enhance creativity, artists should create a positive workspace that caters to every aspect of their creativity.
It can be prohibitive to your creativity to only do work on the computer. Try working with your hands when possible.
Artists should not become too complacent and should sometimes move to a new environment to gain new perspectives. The author benefited from living in Texas, England, and Italy.
Creativity is a social activity. We are all part of a creative community and we should embrace collaboration, feedback, and criticism as a way to improve our work.
The internet can be a double-edged sword for artists, as it can bring both praise and criticism. It is important not to let negativity discourage you. Engaging with critics is often a waste of time. Use criticism constructively and to fuel you.
To make the most of the praise you receive, keep a praise file to encourage yourself. Remember to praise others as well, as positivity begets positivity.
Take risks and embrace failure. Failure is a part of the creative process. You will not grow if you don’t fail.
Actively seek out new sources of inspiration to “steal” to create something new.
Maintain a healthy perspective on creative work -- do not obsess over the result, you should focus on the process of creating and learn to enjoy the journey as much as the destination.

Steve Jobs

Walter Isaacson

A captivating biography of the Apple co-founder and visionary, providing an insightful look into his life and the development of groundbreaking products.

3.4 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Steven Paul Jobs was born on February 24, 1955, to Abdulfattah Jandali and Joanne Schieble. Schieble’s strict Christian family disapproved of Jandali because he’s Muslim, so Jobs was given up for adoption. Paul and Clara Jobs, a couple living in Silicon Valley, adopted Jobs.
Job’s interest in design and craftsmanship came from his family’s Eichler house and his dad’s passion for mechanics.
In high school, Steve met his future business partner, Steve Wozniak. The two bonded over their love of electronics and pranks. Together, they created their first product, the "Blue Box," which allowed users to make long-distance phone calls for free. They sold almost 100 boxes.
Jobs dropped out of Reed College but continued taking classes out of a curiosity to learn. His calligraphy class would heavily influence the Mac’s graphical user interface.
After college, Jobs was hired by Atari because he took Wozniak’s version of the electronics board design of Pong and presented it as his own.
At Atari, Jobs was given a task to reduce the number of chips in the circuit board for the video game Breakout. Jobs didn’t know how to accomplish this, so he requested Wozniak’s help, and they agreed to split the pay evenly. Wozniak was able to significantly reduce the number of chips. Jobs told Wozniak Atari paid him $700, so they both received $350. In reality, Atari paid $5,000, and Jobs kept most of it.
Jobs was deeply interested in spirituality, LSD, and the arts, which influenced his aesthetic sense and intense focus.
Jobs traveled to India for seven months to immerse himself in Eastern spirituality, which shaped his minimalist aesthetics and power of intuition.
While Jobs and Wozniak were members of the Homebrew Computer Club, Wozniak came up with the idea of a self-contained personal computer. Wozniak was about to provide his design for free but Jobs convinced him that they should start a company based on it.
The name "Apple" was chosen because Jobs had recently visited an apple farm. Wozniak and Jobs built the first 100 Apple I computers by hand.
Jobs was a relentless perfectionist and it led him to be an erratic, temperamental, controlling, and verbally abusive leader (called employees “assholes” and their work “shit”).
Jobs would spend an inordinate amount of time (days) on small details like the computer case’s corner roundness or shade of beige.
The Apple board of directors appointed Mike Scott from National Semiconductor as president and CEO of Apple to handle Jobs. Jobs hated giving up any control of the company and thus Jobs had many, sometimes heated and emotional, disagreements with Scott and the board.
The Apple II was a great success for the company, but Jobs saw it as Wozniak's creation and wanted to create a machine that he could call his own that would "make a dent in the universe". He began work on the Macintosh, which he took away from its original creator, Jef Raskin, an early Apple employee.
The Macintosh became an unparalleled success, partly due to a lavish marketing campaign that included a sensational TV commercial directed by Ridley Scott (the “1984” commercial).
Jobs's toxic behaviors continued, and in 1985, the Apple board of directors decided to let him go.
After being fired from Apple, Jobs founded a new venture called NeXT, but his perfectionism made the project hard to engineer and manufacture (e.g., spending $100,000 on a logo, and insisting the computer be in the shape of a perfect cube).
The NeXT computers were far too expensive and ended up being a financial failure.
Meanwhile, he also bought a majority share in Pixar. After years of hardship, Pixar released Tin Toy, which won the 1988 Academy Award for Best Animated Short Film. Tin Toy’s success eventually led to the worldwide phenomenon, Toy Story.
While away from Apple, Jobs reconnected with his biological mother and sister, and married Laurene Powell, with whom he had three children.
Jobs attempted to mend his relationship with Lisa, his daughter from his relationship with Chrisann Brennan, whom he knew since high school. Lisa lived with Powell and Jobs until she went to Harvard College. Both Jobs and Lisa were known for being temperamental and had difficulty communicating.
After Apple started to decline, Gil Amelio was appointed CEO in 1996, and he decided to acquire NeXT’s software, which made Jobs an advisor to Apple.
Jobs soon regained his influence within the company, and Apple’s board offered Jobs the CEO position, but he declined. Eventually, Jobs had enough power to force the board to resign and Jobs became CEO again.
Jobs shifted the company’s focus to making fewer products, and turned a $1 billion loss in 1997 to a $309 million profit in 1998.
With the help of designer Jony Ive, Apple created the iMac, which had a playful translucent blue case. The iMac became the fastest-selling computer in Apple's history.
Jobs wanted to control the entire retail experience of buying Apple products, thus he painstakingly developed the concept of the Apple Store, which emphasized minimalism and aesthetics. The first Apple Store opened in May 2001, and proved to be a resounding success.
Soon Jobs conceived the digital hub strategy, which refers to the idea of a central computer controlling many types of devices -- music players, phones, etc.
The first step was the iPod, followed by the iPhone, and then the iPad, all with Ive’s help. These products were massive successes and transformed the industry despite initial criticisms of their high prices.
Jobs was diagnosed with cancer in 2003 and initially refused surgery, opting for alternative treatments -- vegan diet, acupuncture, herbal remedies, etc. Jobs even consulted a psychic.
He eventually had to undergo surgery, and when the cancer returned in 2008, he continued with alternative diets until finally agreeing to a liver transplant.
Jobs passed away in 2011, leaving behind a legacy at Apple as a product of his passionate personality.
Jobs' strategy of tightly integrating hardware and software into a cohesive end-to-end user experience proved successful for Apple, leading the company to surpass Microsoft as the most valuable technology company in the world shortly before Jobs' death.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

Mark Manson

A refreshing, blunt, and practical self-help guide that teaches readers to embrace discomfort, prioritize what truly matters, and live a more fulfilling life.

4.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The backwards law states that the pursuit of positive experiences is itself a negative experience, while the acceptance of negative experiences is itself a positive experience. The more one tries to be happy, the less happy they become.
Negativity is actually the path to positivity. People's assumptions of what they want from life -- positive experiences -- are not actually what they need. Instead, it's the tolerance and acceptance of negative experiences that lead to positive experiences.
Charles Bukowski was a drunk and a lowlife, yet he still achieved success and became a famous writer. Bukowski is a counter-argument to the assumption that success comes from doing everything right.
There are three subtleties of not giving a fuck:
Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent, but being comfortable with being different.
To not give a fuck about adversity, one must first give a fuck about something more important than adversity.
Whether we realize it or not, we are always choosing what to give a fuck about.
The central Buddhist doctrine of Dukkha states that life is suffering.
Negative emotions, such as anxiety and anger, have evolutionary purposes that help our survival and ignoring them can limit ourselves.
Examine your negative emotions and experiences. They can provide valuable insights into what truly matters to us, and can help us grow and develop.
Consider what pain you are willing to endure in life as it is a greater determinant of how your life turns out.
Happiness is not the only important thing in life. Negative emotions grant us meaning and signal to us that we have challenges that must be overcome.
We do not want to be on a hedonic treadmill, where happiness is like a carrot always dangling in front of us, and we can never truly be satisfied.
Struggles and setbacks are inevitable no matter what your goals are. However, if you find a goal you want to struggle for, a goal you’re passionate about, then the struggle will become enjoyable. Think deeply about what this goal is for you.
Your goals need to be clear. Vague ambitions like “be happy” will not push you to success.
Happiness comes from overcoming problems, and choosing the right struggles is the secret to happiness.
Modern life provides infinite opportunities, but we are unhappy because we have too many options, and we burn out trying to be everything to everyone. It is crucial to find what’s important to us and focus on those, and don’t give a fuck about the rest of the noise.
You should only engage in activities or pursue goals that bring you a sense of excitement and joy. The answer to whether or not to do something should either be “no”, or “fuck, yes”.
Exceptionalism, the belief that you are special and entitled to special treatment, is unhealthy and counterproductive. Social media and consumer culture is fueling exceptionalism.
The author at one point of his life got arrested for selling drugs, which he attributes to his own sense of entitlement.
There are two forms of entitlement: grandiose narcissism, where a person thinks they are better than everyone else and therefore deserve special treatment; and victim narcissism, where a person thinks they are worse than everyone else and therefore deserve special treatment. Both forms of entitlement lead to delusional beliefs about one's place in the world and cause people to become completely self-absorbed.
Accepting the bland and mundane truths of life, such as the fact that the vast majority of our lives will be boring and not noteworthy, is actually healthier than believing in exceptionalism.
Living by the right values is critical for happiness. For example, measuring your own success by comparing yourself to others is an unhealthy value to have. It will lead to disappointment.
Dave Mustaine, the leader of the renowned metal band Megadeth, compared himself to his previous band his entire life. As a result, Dave considered himself a failure, because his previous band is the biggest metal band in music history -- Metallica.
Pleasure is a bad value to live by. Seeking pleasure as the ultimate goal often leads to addiction. Research shows those who value pleasure the most are likely to have anxiety and depression.
Materialism is a bad value to live by. Research shows after our basic needs are met, extra wealth doesn’t not improve happiness.
Worthwhile values are based in reality, helpful to society, and have an immediate and controllable effect. Honesty and kindness are examples of good values. Popularity is a bad value because you can’t control what other people think about you.
You will be much happier knowing that you are responsible for your life. This will give you the power and motive to better yourself and your circumstances.
Example: Bob’s girlfriend dumps him. Bob can choose to be a victim of his circumstances and say, “She’s hateful and doesn’t understand.” Or he can choose to take responsibility, reflect on why the relationship didn’t work, and better himself.
People sometimes don’t take responsibility for their lives because they conflate responsibility with fault. Responsibility means taking action to deal with a situation, while fault means being to blame for a situation. For example, if someone gets cancer, it is not their fault, but it is their responsibility to deal with it.
We have the tendency to protect our identity, and it often hurts us.
Artists might refuse to sell their art to the public because it could potentially shatter their identity of being a successful artist. CEOs might not spend enough time with their family because it’d damage their identity of being a career-oriented hard worker.
Buddhism states that our identities are simply arbitrary mental constructs that exist only inside our heads. They are illusions. Once we’re able to let go of our identities, we’d live more satisfying lives.
Learn to question your beliefs. There will be times when you think you’re correct but you are wrong.
It is hard to admit we are wrong, because our conviction is usually trying to cover up our insecurities. When we realize we are wrong, we discover inconvenient truths about ourselves. Dealing with our insecurities and uncomfortable truths will make you happier in the long run. Repressing them leads to misery.
Example: Alice and Bob are good friends. Alice gets a new friend, Claire. However, Bob tells Alice that Claire is a bad person and not to be friends with her. Bob says this, not because Claire is actually a bad person, but because Bob is insecure about the potential of Alice liking Claire more and spending less time with Bob.
Failure is a necessary component of success. Negative experiences, sacrifice, and uncertainty can lead to positive experiences, growth, prevent entitlement, and avoid unrealistic beliefs.
All successful people failed numerous times before they succeeded.
Taking action leads to motivation, not the other way around. For example, if someone is struggling with social anxiety, they can walk towards the person they want to talk to. Once they take that small step, they will find that they can take more steps towards talking to the person and making a new friend.
Being able to say "no" is crucial in achieving success, managing conflict, setting boundaries, and maintaining healthy relationships.
In healthy relationships, individuals need to be able to say no, express their values, and be willing to disappoint their partners to develop trust.
Couples who never argue may seem happy at first, but in reality, they may lack trust and the ability to handle tough situations together.
There is freedom that comes with committing to a few important things in life. By limiting oneself to a few important values and goals, one can focus on what truly matters and experience a sense of mental freedom to pursue those goals without being distracted by other possibilities.
Romantic relationships can be destructive. Research shows that passionate, high-intensity relationships produce similar effects in the brain as cocaine. Romeo and Julliet is a classic example of a destructive relationship.
Make sure your romantic relationships are not based on distractions. Meaning, you and your partner are not in a relationship to distract from other problems in your lives. Those problems you’re avoiding will resurface themselves.
A healthy relationship consists of devotion to each other, consideration of each other’s feelings, and providing support when needed.
Do not overstep and provide support when not required. If one person in the relationship aims to solve all the problems for both, then it becomes an unhealthy, one-sided, and controlling relationship.
Humans are the only animals capable of envisioning hypothetical situations. This ability unfortunately brings us the burden of thinking about our own death. Many of us worry about our legacy after death, and thus pursue immortality projects. These projects add a lot of stress, anxiety, and disappointments to our lives.
Be happy and spread joy where you are now. You’ll live a more fulfilling and meaningful life if you concentrate on the present.

Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know

Malcolm Gladwell

A thought-provoking exploration of how we perceive and interact with those we don't know, offering valuable lessons on communication and understanding in today's complex world.

2.2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

During their encounter in Munich in 1938, British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain believed that Adolf Hitler was a trustworthy person. This is an example of how we are generally bad at judging people.
A 2017 research conducted by Harvard economist Sendhil Mullainathan showed that bail judges, who are confident in their ability to evaluate people, were less accurate in assessing defendants than a computer program that only used age and criminal record as criteria, indicating that we are overconfident in our ability to make character judgments based on limited information.
Psychologist Emily Pronin conducted an experiment in 2001 where participants chose missing letters in words and then dismissed their word choices as meaningless, but when shown lists of word choices made by strangers, participants confidently assigned personality traits to those strangers. This indicates that people tend to judge strangers based on limited information, but in reality, strangers are complex and difficult to accurately evaluate.
Ana Montes was one of the most infamous spies in US history. There were many red flags that were ignored by the US Defense Intelligence Agency because it’s common human tendency to believe people are telling the truth unless there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
In an experiment by psychologist Tim Levine, professionals such as therapists, police officers, judges, and CIA officers were asked to identify who is lying about cheating on a trivia test. People only correctly identified the cheaters 54% of the time, because they generally believed that most people are telling the truth and required an obvious trigger to tip from suspicion to disbelief.
Bernie Madoff, who defrauded thousands of investors of over $60 billion, could have been prevented if people were better at spotting fraud and deception. Harry Markopolos, an independent fraud investigator, was able to see through Madoff's deception because he didn't assume that everyone tells the truth.
However, lies are relatively uncommon in real life, and most interactions are fundamentally honest. Defaulting to the truth is more practical for most people. Madoff and other fraudsters are outliers.
Transparency is the idea that a person's demeanor reflects their true feelings, but it can be misleading.
A study in which participants’ environment was suddenly modified to something completely strange resulted in only five percent of them showing the look of surprise on their faces.
When we try to read a stranger's face, we can misinterpret what they are thinking, which can have serious consequences.
Amanda Knox was initially the main suspect in the murder of Meredith Kercher, despite there being no physical evidence linking her to the crime. This was due to the police misinterpreting her behavior as guilty and transparent. Knox's behavior didn't match what was expected of someone in a grieving situation, leading to suspicion. However, the problem is that not everyone is transparent, and their demeanor may be mismatched to what they are actually thinking or feeling.
Many liars can look at you directly and lie confidently. Many honest people can look nervous and suspicious.
Alcohol disables us from making judgements that have long-term consequences. The author believes alcohol was an important part of Brock Turner’s sexual assault on an unconscious woman.
In 2015, Sandra Bland, an African-American woman, was pulled over for failing to signal a lane change. The situation escalated quickly, and she was eventually violently arrested and found dead in police custody three days later. The situation demonstrates the danger of defaulting to the truth in inappropriate situations, as well as the flaws of assuming one can interpret character from demeanor. Encinia, the police officer involved, assumed Bland was a threat when she seemed agitated and lit a cigarette, instead of seeing it as a sign of stress.
We need to be more aware of the limitations of our own understanding when we're dealing with strangers, ask more questions, be more skeptical of people's motives, and be willing to challenge our own assumptions.

Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know

Adam Grant

Blending research and storytelling to help us build the intellectual and emotional skills needed to better ourselves and the world by staying curious.

4.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

In 1949, smokejumpers parachuted into a Montana forest to contain a wildfire but soon had to flee for their lives. Their leader Wagner Dodge survived by improvising an escape fire to drain the wildfire’s fuel in the area while most of his crew thought he was crazy and perished trying to outrun the flames. This tragedy highlights the importance of mental flexibility that is increasingly vital for success in our rapidly changing world.
Know how to rethink and unlearn. Always doubt your convictions and be open to change your mind.
“The purpose of learning isn’t to affirm our beliefs; it’s to evolve our beliefs.”
Mike Lazaridis created the BlackBerry, which became hugely popular as a wireless communication device focused on email, but he failed to rethink and adapt it as the smartphone market evolved, leading to BlackBerry's precipitous decline. In contrast, Steve Jobs initially resisted making a smartphone but was persuaded by his engineers to rethink, resulting in the revolutionary iPhone which fueled Apple's massive success.
Even constitutions have amendments.
We tend to fall into four categories when communicating: preachers (push our own ideas), prosecutors (relentlessly argue to be correct), politicians (people pleasers), and scientists (embrace limits, are curious, learn by testing hypotheses, accept new truths). Be like a scientist.
“If knowledge is power, knowing what we don’t know is wisdom.”
Study shows that what differentiated eminent scientists from their peers was their cognitive flexibility (willingness “to move from one extreme to the other as the occasion requires”).
“Research reveals that the higher you score on an IQ test, the more likely you are to fall for stereotypes, because you’re faster at recognizing patterns. And recent experiments suggest that the smarter you are, the more you might struggle to update your beliefs.”
Imposter syndrome is the feeling that you are not as competent as others believe you to be.
Halla Tómasdóttir, a businesswoman with no political experience, struggled with impostor syndrome when asked to run for president of Iceland. Embracing her doubts, Halla ran an open and positive campaign, connecting with voters. Though she didn't win, she vastly overperformed by receiving the second most votes (27.9%) despite lack of campaign budget and media coverage.
Imposter syndrome can be beneficial, as it can motivate us to work harder and learn more.
Overconfidence often stems from ignorance of our limitations, whereas modest doubts can motivate us to work harder, work smarter, and learn from others.
Study shows that people who consider they know more than others significantly overestimated their own knowledge. (Dunning-Kruger effect)
“Those who can’t… don’t know they can’t.”
“You can be confident in your ability to achieve a goal in the future while maintaining the humility to question whether you have the right tools in the present. That’s the sweet spot of confidence.”
Self-assurance without self-awareness breeds arrogance, but humility paired with confidence helps us recognize our blind spots, question assumptions, and continuously grow and learn.
Detach your opinions from your identity, then you can more easily admit being wrong because your identity wouldn’t be broken.
Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, went from a professor to a domestic terrorist because he was so stubbornly attached to his opinions.
“Who you are should be a question of what you value, not what you believe. Values are your core principles in life -- they might be excellence and generosity, freedom and fairness, or security and integrity.”
Admitting mistakes and fixing them enhances our reputation rather than damaging it.
“When you’re wrong, it’s not something to be depressed about. Say, ‘Hey, I discovered something.’”
Constructive conflicts (task conflicts) can lead to better ideas and decisions. This is different from personal conflicts, which hinder progress.
People who disagree readily can be valuable in prompting rethinking and challenging assumptions. However, they need to be managed to avoid tipping into personal conflict.
Effective disagreement involves focusing on "how" things work rather than "why" we believe what we do. This reduces defensiveness and fosters curiosity about alternative viewpoints.
Harish Natarajan, a world champion debater, faced off against Project Debater, an AI system built by IBM. Despite the computer's massive knowledge base, Harish is able to change more minds by finding common ground, asking the audience questions, and expressing some uncertainty. Unlike the computer's declarative statements, Harish's questions and humility engaged the audience in thinking for themselves.
Use the collaborative approach when arguing: find common understanding, ask non-judgmental questions, and have flexible thinking. People are less receptive when you bully them with logic and facts.
Treat disagreements as a dance rather than an adversarial war -- you have to be open-minded and willing to adapt your moves to get into rhythm with the other person.
Daryl Davis met a KKK member at a gig who was surprised to see a black musician play so well. Over time, through ongoing dialogue, Daryl convinced him and many other white supremacists to denounce the KKK.
Prejudiced and ignorant beliefs are completely arbitrary.
Davis persuaded KKK members to denounce racism by getting them to see their racism as an accident of birth -- if born into another family, would they still hold such white supremacist beliefs?
Rival baseball fans reduced their animosity when they considered how their allegiance was largely due to geographical chance.
Motivational interviewing is an effective method to help someone rethink. It involves open-ended questions and reflective listening (acknowledging others’ views and feelings) to help them find their own motivation to change. Don’t force people with logic or lectures. Reflective listening demonstrates respect and building trust so people become receptive to evidence and arguments. By using this technique:
An empathetic doctor was able to convince an anti-vaxxer to vaccinate all her children.
Ugandan politician Betty Bigombe was able to convince brutal warlord Joseph Kony to engage in peace talks.
“Listening is a way of offering others our scarcest, most precious gift: our attention. Once we’ve demonstrated that we care about them and their goals, they’re more willing to listen to us.”
Researchers have found that exposing people to a balanced perspective on one issue, presenting multiple viewpoints, makes them more open to finding common ground on other divisive issues.
This suggests that showcasing the complexity around debated topics, rather than presenting two extreme black and white sides (e.g., oil is bad/good), can facilitate more constructive conversations.
Individuals who participate in these complexified conversations become more curious and ask more questions, moving away from simply asserting their opinions.
Studies show that when experts show doubt, they are more persuasive.
Traditional education often emphasizes imparting knowledge and building confidence, but it doesn't encourage students to question themselves and others. There's a growing movement in education to encourage students to ask critical questions and consider different viewpoints.
Students who are taught to question and rethink their knowledge are better prepared to learn and adapt throughout their lives.
Active learning, where students engage with the material through discussions and activities, is more effective than passive learning (e.g., listening to lectures) in promoting deeper understanding and critical thinking.
Organizations should move from a performance culture to a learning and growth culture, where people have the psychological safety to experiment and make mistakes.
In performance cultures, employees fear punishment for failures, prompting them to hide their mistakes.
NASA's Columbia disaster can be attributed to their performance culture, where past successes and overconfidence left little room for doubting or reassessing potentially risky decisions.
We often form rigid ideas about careers and life paths, creating an identity foreclosure, prematurely settling on a sense of self and closing ourselves off to alternative opportunities.
Regularly rethinking our goals and aspirations (career checkups) is crucial for personal growth and avoiding unnecessary sacrifices.
Happiness often stems from contributing to something meaningful and pursuing mastery, rather than directly seeking it.
We can find purpose and satisfaction by actively shaping our roles and responsibilities to fit our values and interests within our existing circumstances (job crafting).
Candice Walker, a hospital custodian, happily went beyond her official duties to console patients, make them laugh, and even save lives during medical emergencies.
Rethinking is an ongoing process and not a one-time event.
Leaders who are willing to admit uncertainty and change their minds can be more effective than those who present themselves as having all the answers.

Think and Grow Rich

Napoleon Hill

A classic which has greatly impacted the personal development field and shaped the modern understanding of success and wealth.

3.2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

To achieve our goals, we must have a passionate inner desire, as mere wishing or hoping will not suffice.
Defining a clear and specific goal, with a well-thought-out plan is fundamental to achieving success, as it provides direction and focus.
Determine the desired outcome, the timeline, and the resources needed to achieve the goal.
The more detailed your goals and plans are, the more likely you’ll succeed. For example, it’s unhelpful if your goal is simply to “get rich”. Be more specific, e.g., “make $1 million dollars in cash” or “purchase a three-bedroom home in the city”.
To reinforce one's commitment to achieving the goal, it can be helpful to write it down and read it aloud everyday first thing in the morning and again before you sleep.
The unyielding faith in oneself has been the basis of all notable achievements. Believing in oneself is crucial for achieving success, as it creates the necessary self-confidence to pursue goals with determination.
One's faith in oneself greatly affects self-image and lifestyle, as it can help overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles.
Despite not having wealth or military strength, Mahatma Gandhi’s inexorable faith in his ability to influence his fellow countrymen led India to freedom.
The theory of auto-suggestion says we mostly do whatever our mind instinctively or habitually suggests for us to do. We can influence our behavior by persistently and purposefully thinking certain thoughts or ideas to convey commands or goals to the subconscious mind.
For example, regularly visualizing your success and convincing yourself that your goals will be achieved will subconsciously change your actions to propel you to imagined success.
Your subconscious affects your end results. Regular positive self-talk develops a positive subconscious, which leads to positive results. Regular negative self-talk develops a negative subconscious, which leads to negative results.
Having knowledge is important for achieving success, but it’s not always gained through traditional education. It's more important to gain the right specialized experiences and knowledge, use your strengths, and be willing to continue learning throughout your life. It's also important to know where to find the knowledge you need, and to build a network of experts who can share their specialized knowledge.
To have value in society, you need to have specialized knowledge, organize it, and apply it in a strategic way.
You need to conceive great ideas to be successful. There are two forms of imagination to help you: creative and synthetic. The former allows for the creation of completely new things while the latter rearranges old ideas into new combinations. Great ideas often come from the collaboration of both forms.
Sony transformed the playback device or dictaphone used by journalists into a portable music player for general use, giving birth to the Walkman.
Asa Candler turned a headache medication recipe into Coca-Cola.
To keep our imaginations active and productive, we must stimulate it and train it like a muscle.
Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses. It’s useful to perform an honest self-analysis and address common issues like procrastination, vague goals, and lack of ambition or resolve.
Persistence is a requirement for success. Successful individuals all achieved their dreams through persistence, despite facing numerous failures.
Thomas Edison had over 10,000 failed experiments before he invented the light bulb.
Writer Fannie Hurst received over 36 rejections before she published a short story in a newspaper.
An analysis of over 25,000 life stories of unsuccessful professionals showed that a lack of determination or persistence is the main reason for failure.
A common attribute among highly successful individuals is their ability to make swift decisions and firmly commit to them.
Henry Ford stood behind his Model T cars despite countless criticisms of their appearance. His resolve generated enormous profits and Ford Motors became one of the largest car manufacturers in the world.
It is important to avoid negative influences by keeping plans and intentions to oneself and not confiding in people except for a trusted team or outsiders.
To achieve great things, you need a mastermind, which is a group of like-minded people who meet regularly to solve problems together and hold each other accountable. When capable people combine their skills, knowledge, and resources to achieve a shared goal, the synergistic effect produces results that are more than the sum of their individual parts.
The idea of sex transmutation is to redirect our sexual desire, the most powerful of human desires, into productive and creative endeavors rather than allowing it to risk losing our focus, career, and money. Transforming your sexual energy has the potential to unlock imagination, courage, willpower, persistence, and creative ability, leading to life-changing results.
Our sixth sense, or the "the creative imagination" that comes from our intuition, helps us perceive opportunities and ideas beyond what we could perceive with our physical senses. Many successful people have a sixth sense that guides them into making the correct choices. Meditation can help develop our sixth sense.
Six common fears that prevent success are: poverty, old age, criticism, illness, love, and death. Fear and faith cannot coexist -- one must overcome their fears and have faith in themselves. Allowing fear to dominate your thoughts will lead to doubt and indecision. Since fear is a state of mind, it can be controlled through willpower and you can choose to overcome them.
Our susceptibility to negative influences is often the biggest obstacle to achieving success. Humans are naturally lazy and indifferent, so we need to actively take steps to protect ourselves from negative people. We should surround ourselves and create a mastermind group with positive influences who inspire and uplift us.
Simplified, the keys to wealth and success include a burning desire, detailed goals and plans, a strong faith in yourself, persistence, a "mastermind", and positive thinking.

Thinking, Fast and Slow

Daniel Kahneman

An exploration of the two systems that shape our thinking, challenging our assumptions and providing insights that improve decision-making.

4.8 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

We have two different systems of thinking -- automatic (fast) and considered (slow). An example of automatic thinking (System 1) is when we hear a loud noise and we immediately turn towards it. An example of considered thinking (System 2) is when we try to find someone specific in the crowd.
Answer this question: A bat and ball cost $1.10. The bat costs one dollar more than the ball. How much does the ball cost?
Most people's immediate answer is $0.10, but the actual answer is $0.05. This is an example of the intuitive and impulsive System 1 taking over control and neglecting System 2.
The law of least effort states that we tend to use the minimum amount of work to achieve a task. In the bat-and-ball problem, our automatic system was misled to think it can solve the problem on its own. This is an example of our inherent mental laziness. We should make attempts to overcome this laziness as it'll help us avoid similar errors. Also, research shows that exercising System 2 leads to higher intelligence.
Priming is the exposure to something that affects our thoughts or actions. For example, consider the word SHOWER, and now complete this word SO_P. You probably thought of the word SOAP, and not SOUP. If you considered the word FOOD before this exercise, you probably would answer SOUP.
One research showed that when participants are primed with ideas associated with the elderly (e.g., Florida, wrinkles), the participants actually walk slower. This shows that priming also affects our actions.
Priming is often a subconscious process. This suggests that we are not always fully in control of our thoughts and actions. We are perpetually being primed by our environment. Priming has implications on how our society and culture are shaped.
Exaggerated emotional coherence, or, the halo effect, is when we inflate our limited impression of something or someone to make quick decisions that are prone to error. For example, you meet Bob at a party and find him easy to talk to. Later someone asks you if you know who'd like to contribute to a charity, and you immediately think of Bob. This is the halo effect at work, because you don't know much about Bob besides that he's affable.
Confirmation bias says that we are more readily to accept information that conform to our previously held beliefs.
Priming, halo effect, and confirmation bias are all cognitive processes we unconsciously use to simplify mental efforts, and they all can lead to errors.
Heuristics are mental shortcuts we take to make decisions easier. These are helpful but sometimes overused to our detriment.
The substitution heuristic is when we replace a harder question with an easier one. For example, if you were shown a picture of a basketball player and someone asked you if you think he's good, you might quickly replace the question with "Does he look like a good basketball player?"
The availability heuristic is when we overestimate the probability of something easier to remember or hear about more often. For example, a study found that 80% of people think an accidental death is more likely than dying from a stroke, even though strokes actually cause many more deaths than accidents do. This is because people hear about accidents in the media way more than they hear about strokes.
Base-rate neglect is a mental bias where we disregard established facts (the base-rate) and answer according to what is expected. For example, if we know 80% of taxis are yellow and 20% are red, and we see five red taxis pass by us, we will be tempted to guess the next taxi will also be red if we don't keep the base-rate in mind.
Regression to the mean says that situations will have their variations, but the average will always remain consistent. For example, if you flip a coin five times and they're all heads, that does not mean the coin flip probability is no longer 50% heads and 50% tails. If you flipped enough times, it will regress to the 50% heads and 50% tails average.
We describe experiences in two different ways, or two memory selves -- the experiencing self and the remembering self.
The experiencing self records how we feel during the moment. The remembering self records how we feel after the event. The experiencing self is more accurate. The remembering self is less accurate because of duration neglect and the peak-end rule. Most of our memories are recalled with the remembering self.
Duration neglect refers to how we tend to neglect the full duration of an event and overemphasize certain moments from an event. The peak-end rule refers to how we tend to overemphasize the end of an event.
An experiment set up two groups of patients that went through colonoscopy. One group's procedure was longer than necessary. The other group's procedure was short but with the most pain experienced at the end. When asked about the pain during the procedure, the groups gave accurate answers -- the group with the longer procedure felt worse. When asked about the pain after the experiment was over, the group with the shorter procedure felt the worse, which is a clear example of duration neglect and the peak-end rule in effect.
When we are in a state of cognitive ease, we're using the intuitive System 1. We expend little mental energy, we're more relaxed and creative, but we're more prone to mistakes.
When we are in a state of cognitive strain, we're using the considered System 2. We use more mental energy, we heighten our awareness, and we're less prone to mistakes.
We can influence what state of mind we're in to better perform certain tasks.
For example, to be more persuasive and natural at delivering a message, repeat the message to yourself as much as you can. This will put you in a state of cognitive ease because we're evolved to react positively to something familiar.
To enter a state of cognitive strain to better study a mathematical problem, try setting the text to an interesting font. This will excite our mind, increase our mental energy, and help us focus.
The way statistics are presented to us affects our judgments even though the facts remain the same. For example, in one experiment, one group was told a psychiatric hospital patient had a 10% probability of committing an act of violence, and a second group was told that of every 100 similar patients, 10 are estimated to commit an act of violence. Even though the probability is the same in both statements, almost twice as many respondents were against the patient's discharge in the second group.
Denominator neglect is when we favor memorable images over relevant statistics. For example, the statement "One of 100,000 children who take this drug will be permanently disfigured." will give you a more negative impression of the drug than the statement "The drug protects children from this disease but has a 0.001% chance of permanent disfigurement."
Utility theory suggests that we make decisions based on rational facts and choose the options with the best outcome for us, thus maximizing utility. However, the author challenges utility theory by proposing the prospect theory, which suggests that our decisions are usually influenced by emotions.
Loss aversion refers to our tendency to value losses more than we value gains. For example, an experiment has shown that we would rather gain $1,000 than gain $2,000 and then lose $1,000, even though we should feel the same regarding both scenarios if we were rational. This experiment showed that reference points matter. I.e, starting with $1,000 or $2,000 mattered in the decision even though the result was the same.
Diminishing sensitivity principle refers to when the value we perceive differs from its actual worth. For example, losing $100 after you won $1,000 won't feel as bad as losing $100 after you won $200.
We create general images in our mind to simplify problems, this is called cognitive coherence. For example, we might have an image of a bright sun and hot weather for the summer season, and we might regrettably wear a T-shirt outside even when the forecast predicts cooler weather because we tend to be overconfident in our mental images.
To help with overreliance of our mental images, we can apply reference class forecasting, which means referencing historical examples, e.g., recalling what happened the last time the forecast predicted a cooler summer day.
Having a long-term risk policy means to plan for multiple scenarios. This can also help with mitigating judgment mistakes, e.g., bringing a sweater just in case it's too cold for a T-shirt.

This Is Your Brain on Music: The Science of a Human Obsession

Daniel J. Levitin

A fascinating exploration of how music affects the brain and why we as humans are so deeply connected to it.

2.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Music has been a significant aspect of human culture throughout history, evoking emotions and captivating us.
Music can be defined as a meaningful combination of specific building blocks, including:
Pitch: What note is played, e.g., C or G.
Rhythm: The time between notes.
Tempo: How fast the piece is played.
Contour: The rise and fall of the notes.
Timbre: The tonal characteristics of the sound. For example, a note played by a piano has a different timbre from the same note played by a guitar. Timbre is also what makes our voices unique.
Loudness: The amount of energy created.
Reverberation: The impression of distance or room size the sound imparts.
The origin of music has been debated, with some arguing that it is merely a by-product of language that brings us pleasure. However, most theorists believe that music has an evolutionary basis, possibly as a precursor to speech or a means of courtship. Music may have served an adaptive purpose, signaling health, affluence, and sexual vigor that attracts mates.
Advances in science have given us the ability to detect that nearly every part of the brain, from the newest to the most primitive, is activated when we process music, including the auditory cortex, motor cortex, amygdala, and hippocampus. These areas process in parallel to help us perceive different aspects of music, such as pitch, rhythm, melody, harmony, and lyrics.
Musical pleasure releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter in the brain that’s associated with pleasure from more tangible rewards such as food, drugs, and sex. This explains why music, which has no clear survival value, is prevalent throughout human societies.
Research has shown that listening to music can enhance our cognitive abilities, such as attention, perception, and problem-solving skills.
Listening to music can foster social connections as it activates brain circuits involved in empathy, trust, and cooperation.
Our brains are wired to detect patterns and make predictions, and music satisfies this cognitive need by following certain structures and rules. The brain anticipates certain chords, melodies, and rhythms, and deviations from these expectations can create tension, release, surprise, and emotion.
The emotional impact of music is related to our brain's ability to predict what comes next in a piece of music. The art of composition involves building tension and maintaining a balance between meeting and defying expectations. This can be done in various ways, such as through rhythm and melody. Skilled composers play with the melody's tendency to return to its starting point, disrupting expectations and then resolving them in a satisfying way.
Recognizing a tune involves complex neural computations that interact with memory. Furthermore, studies show that we use the same brain regions for hearing music as we do for remembering music. Every time we hear a song, a specific set of neurons are fired and an imprint is created, when we imagine the song or hear it again, the same pattern of neurons are fired. Thus, songs are often associated with specific memories and can act as triggers to unlock these memories.
Groove happens when the beat of music carries a palpable momentum. We have evolved to act emotionally to grooves, and using it to purposefully break our expectations can be an effective way for music to communicate. Our cerebellum is also activated when we perceive grooves. Since the cerebellum is responsible for balance and movement, it is evidence that human emotion and motion are linked.
Musical expertise is dependent on practice. Studies have shown that those who are the most skilled at their instruments are those who have practiced the most -- perceived “talent” is inconsequential.
It takes 10,000 hours of practice to master a skill.
Genetic predisposition and environmental factors can affect musical expertise (scientists’ best guess is around 50%). If you have large hands and great hand-eye coordination, then you’ll be predisposed to be a good piano player. If you have poor nutrition and live in an unstable environment, then you will have a disadvantage in achieving mastery in an instrument.
Our musical preferences begin with early exposure to music. A study has shown that babies prefer music that they’ve heard in the womb.
As we get older, familiarity plays a role in what we like. It shapes our preferences as we associate music with positive experiences. While there is no cutoff point for developing new musical preferences, generally, most people have formed their tastes by the age of 18 or so.
We prefer music that is not too simple (boring) or too complex (predictability is important).
We tend to choose music that makes us feel safe and comfortable, as listening to music makes us vulnerable.

The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference

Malcolm Gladwell

A bestselling book that explores how ideas, behaviors, and trends spread like epidemics and the key factors that influence their rapid adoption.

2.8 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The spread of ideas, products, and behaviors can be compared to the spread of a viral infection, with similarities such as a slow start followed by a sudden epidemic.
Social epidemics share characteristics with viral infections, including the ability to reach a Tipping Point where the critical mass has been reached and the spread can no longer be stopped.
An example of social virality is the sudden popularity of Hush Puppies shoes, which began when a couple of hipsters started wearing them in Manhattan, leading to a sales increase of about two million pairs in just two years.
The Tipping Point is the moment at which a trend turns into an epidemic and spreads like wildfire, whether it be a flu strain or technological innovations.
The Tipping Point is represented by a dramatic turn in the growth curve where a fundamental change takes place, causing the "infection" to suddenly skyrocket and making the curve go straight up at almost a right angle.
Example: The sales of Sharp's affordable fax machine grew steadily every year from its launch in 1984 until it reached the Tipping Point in 1987, when sales skyrocketed. This was because enough people owned a fax machine around the Tipping Point that anyone who didn't own one decided to get one too.
The Law of the Few refers to the idea that certain individuals, called connectors, mavens, and salespeople, play a disproportionately large role in spreading social epidemics.
The 80-20 Rule states that 20% of the people tend to influence 80% of the final outcome.
20% of employees do 80% of the work.
20% of criminals commit 80% of the crimes.
20% of beer drinkers drink 80% of the beer.
Virus epidemics have even more extreme ratios. They are often sparked by a few key people.
The early cases of AIDS in the US can be traced back to a flight attendant who had sex with more than 2,500 people, significantly contributing to the spread of the virus.
In social epidemics, it's typically a few people with unique social connections or extraordinary personalities who speed up the rate of transmission.
Connectors are people with many social ties in different areas, making them the nodal points of social networks. They are highly influential in the spread of ideas, as they are often the ones who can trigger social epidemics and are essential in crossing the borders of different social milieus.
More connections from different areas (weak ties) are more valuable in terms of spreading ideas than having a few close connections.
To spread your idea, focus on well-connected individuals.
Salesmen are people with the qualities of positive thinking, high energy, and enthusiasm. They can persuade and establish trust easier with their excellent non-verbal communication skills and expressive emotions. As a result, they are the ideal people to spread ideas.
Mavens are people who have extensive knowledge from constantly accumulating information and are socially motivated to communicate their ideas. They may not have a large network, but those in their network trust them. People take mavens’ recommendations seriously, and thus they are powerful in spreading ideas.
An idea needs to stand out and be memorable for it to stick. This is called the Stickiness Factor.
Even small tweaks can result in enormous outcomes.
Winston cigarettes became the most popular cigarette brand in the US after they purposely included a grammatical error in their slogan (“Winston tastes good like a cigarette should.” -- using “like” instead of “as”).
Sesame Street became a sensation after they intermingled scenes with real actors with fictional Muppets.
The Power of Context refers to the idea that external circumstances have a significant influence on human behavior, and even minor changes can cause substantial differences.
One experiment showed how time can influence our behavior. The subjects were sent to a lecture. The first group was told there was no rush. The second group was told not to be late. On their way they encountered a collapsed man. 64% of the first group helped the collapsed man. Only 10% of the second group helped.
The Stanford Prison Experiment involved 24 healthy males spending two weeks to mock being prisoners and guards. However, the experiment had to be stopped after only six days because the guards became abusive and sadistic, and the prisoners suffered mental breakdowns. This experiment showed that people’s behaviors are greatly changed even by artificial circumstances.
The emergence of epidemics is largely influenced by external circumstances and often can be traced back to small changes.
In the mid-1990s, New York City's authorities tackled the city's crime epidemic by focusing on minor details such as graffiti and fare evasion. The crime rate rapidly dropped after these small interventions because they sent a visible signal that the city is monitoring crime.
The Rule of 150 suggests that we can only maintain stable social relationships with a maximum of 150 people. This means that groups like local communities, clubs, or company teams will become dysfunctional and disconnected when they reach more than 150 members.

Walden; or, Life in the Woods

Henry David Thoreau

A timeless ode to the spiritual benefits of living deliberately and seeking truth through contemplation of nature.

2.4 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Thoreau was concerned that modern life in the 1840s was depriving people of opportunities to gain wisdom and knowledge. He believed the new industrial era forced people into mindless work and deprived them of understanding life's essence.
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”
To Thoreau, most people led "lives of quiet desperation" preoccupied with accumulating money and possessions, rather than focusing on what truly mattered. He saw this as "a fool's life" devoid of meaning.
Part of the problem was people were too busy working to read classic literature, which Thoreau believed provided invaluable lessons. He particularly cherished Homer's Iliad as a source of wisdom and comfort.
“Books are the treasured wealth of the world and the fit inheritance of generations and nations.”
Thoreau moved to Walden Pond to show an alternative to modern drudgery was possible.
At Walden, Thoreau pared life down to four essentials -- food, shelter, clothing and fuel. He grew his own food and built his own house and shed. Though still work, it was satisfying and allowed him to sustain himself so he could think freely, unburdened by modern pressures.
Building his own home (although he had the help of a few friends) and gardening was worthwhile to Thoreau beyond its practicality. It allowed Thoreau to gain satisfying direct first-hand experience and knowledge. Through this experience, Thoreau gained new appreciation for how Native Americans used simple, functional housing like wigwams that were easy to construct and weather-resistant. This contrasted with overpriced garish American houses that favor status over function.
The little home (10’ x 15’) provided the perfect vantage point to observe nature around him. He delighted in listening to the wildlife like the joyful songs of birds building nests in the trees, the squirrels on the roof, and the hares scurrying below the floorboards. Thoreau found nature's music an antidote to solitude. He felt content and enjoyed the intimate sensory experience.
“I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.”
Thoreau wasn’t completely alone during his time at Walden. He often visited Concord, a nearby town, to buy and sell goods. He also had visitors, from writer and philosopher friends curious about his experiment to a Canadian lumberjack and his dog who passed by Thoreau’s cabin each morning.
Thoreau became friends with many wildlife animals -- otters, raccoons, wild cats, birds, squirrels, and mice that would run up his leg to get food on the dinner table.
Winter posed significant challenges for Thoreau at Walden. When snow blanketed the ground and the pond froze over, living conditions became harder. Thoreau hurried to finish his chimney and insulate his walls before the harshest weather arrived. Procuring drinking water required chopping through the pond's thick ice. Finding adequate firewood was a constant preoccupation. Fortunately, the dead, soaked logs he dragged from the frozen lake proved excellent fuel, burning slowly and intensely from all the trapped steam.
After surviving winter's trials, spring's arrival was Thoreau's great reward. Seeing and hearing the ice melt and crack, welcoming back the sounds of different animals -- spring's dramatic transition from dormancy to vibrancy offered a revitalizing testimony to life's resilience. Thoreau felt tangibly connected to the living forest in a way the city obscured.
After two years at Walden Pond, Thoreau departed and concluded that:
Simplifying life removes complications, allowing one to live at "a higher order".
Seeking truth is far more rewarding than obtaining things. “Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.”
Materialism and modern novelty distract from fulfillment -- what satisfies the soul doesn’t cost money.
“A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone.”
“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

The War of Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle

Steven Pressfield

A practical guide to defeating the forces of resistance that hold back artists, entrepreneurs, and other creative people.

2.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Resistance is a destructive inner force that opposes any project or ambition we undertake. It manifests as procrastination, self-doubt, fear, and other guises which hold us back from achieving our goals.
“It’s a repelling force. It’s negative. Its aim is to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing our work.”
“I can always start eating healthy tomorrow instead of today,” or “My dream project is too risky so I’ll continue working at my job” are examples of resistance at work.
Resistance affects everyone, from aspiring artists to seasoned professionals.
Resistance thrives on stagnation and defends the status quo -- it wants to keep things comfortable and the same.
Many of us feel like we have a calling -- something that we were meant to do. The forces of resistance (fear, self-doubt, etc.) prevent us from pursuing this calling. However, the presence of these feelings are evidence that we care deeply about something. Rather than avoiding what makes us afraid, we can let it motivate us and guide us toward what matters most.
“If you find yourself asking yourself (and your friends), ‘Am I really a writer? Am I really an artist?’ chances are you are. The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death.”
“Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”
Many Hollywood actors pursue roles that they’re afraid of because it indicates they’re truly passionate about it.
To defeat resistance and realize our dreams, we must commit fully by adopting the mindset of a professional. This means approaching our calling with the same dedication required of a full-time job. It means showing up daily and working steadily, not just when we feel like it.
“The most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying.”
“I write only when inspiration strikes. Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o'clock sharp.” - William Somerset Maugham, writer
“This is the other secret that real artists know and wannabe writers don’t. When we sit down each day and do our work, power concentrates around us. The Muse takes note of our dedication. She approves. We have earned favor in her sight. When we sit down and work, we become like a magnetized rod that attracts iron filings. Ideas come. Insights accrete.”
There are always skills you can transfer from your old job to your new passion -- organization skills, self-discipline, punctuality, etc.
As a professional, we must have an intimate understanding of our own abilities and limitations. We must know when to ask for help and guidance. We must always be learning.
Even world-class athletes like LeBron James and Tiger Woods, considered the best in their sports, still have trainers and coaches.
Professionals focus on the process instead of rushing to reach the goal. Realizing a dream requires organization, patience, and the courage to confront adversity and obstacles as opportunities to grow.
Despite skepticism that a black woman could succeed in the talk show field dominated by white men, Oprah Winfrey remained committed to her vision of highlighting guests' personal lives, resulting in one of the most successful talk shows ever conceived. She used criticism as motivation to work even harder as a true professional would.
When we commit deeply, we can combat resistance by reaching into our “madness”, described by Plato as becoming wholly absorbed in the creative flow.
We all operate within the confines of hierarchies, where we’re designated roles and work to please others in order to climb the hierarchy. Hierarchies resist change and stifle creativity.
Professionals break free from hierarchies. Professionals work for themselves, not an audience or social rank.
“For the creative artists must be a world for himself, and find everything within himself…” - Rainer Maria Rilke, writer
“We must do our work for its own sake, not for fortune or attention or applause.”
Every professional has a territory -- the domain where they devote themselves to their craft. Arnold Schwarzenegger's territory was the gym, Alfred Hitchcock's is filmmaking.
Your territory should give you “sustenance”, a feeling of satisfaction and betterment.
Your territory should be where you spend most of your time and give the most effort.
Your territory should offer unlimited potential, as the more effort you invest the more opportunities you should receive.
“Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It’s a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.”

We Should All Be Feminists

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

A personal and powerful essay that argues for the necessity of feminism in today's world.

1.9 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Despite the victories of feminism in achieving women’s suffrage, pay equality, and the right to abortion, there is still a need for feminism today.
The societal norms and biases that perpetuate gender inequality still exist, and women do not have the same opportunities as men.
Feminism is often met with negative reactions and misconceptions, with some viewing feminists as man haters who want to take over the world, or jealous women incapable of finding a man. Even those who believe in gender equality may think that feminism is no longer necessary, believing women now have the same freedoms as men.
One of the author’s friends didn’t think feminism was relevant, until one day he went out for dinner with the author, and their valet thanked him for the tip instead of the author, even though the author was the one who handed the valet the tip.
Despite legal protections giving women the right to pursue any career they want, gender inequality in the workplace still exists.
The glass ceiling for women refers to how the highest positions and salaries in organizations typically go to men, even in traditionally "feminine" fields like cooking and teaching.
There is also an income gap. Research shows full-time male workers earning 21% more than their female counterparts in 2014 (i.e., 79 cents per dollar).
Discrimination can take subtle forms, such as holding men and women to different standards in terms of behavior and ideas. Women are often criticized and dismissed for behaviors (being assertive, authoritative, outspoken, etc.) that would be praised in men.
Women are often treated as second-class citizens by unfair societal standards.
In many cultures:
Women who don’t have children are considered failures. Many sacrifice their careers and dreams to bear children.
Women are expected to behave pleasantly and submissively.
Women are encouraged to preserve their virginity and be “pure”, while men are praised for being promiscuous.
Women are often blamed for being sexually assaulted or harassed, instead of questioning the male aggression.
Women in Nigeria can’t go to clubs alone, because they’re automatically assumed to be prostitutes if they do.
Gender-based discrimination limits women’s identities and desires.
While there are obvious biological differences between men and women (women give birth; men have more testosterone, size, and strength), they do not legitimize inequality.
The rooted pattern of men being societal leaders arose from physical strength being an important factor of survival in ancient times.
Today, physical strength is no longer the most useful survival skill, and important skills like creativity and innovation are not gender-specific. Society has evolved, but gender norms have not, and women are often held back by invisible archaic norms and expectations.
We should challenge the idea that women must adhere to traditional masculine norms to prove their worth. E.g., you shouldn’t need to earn respect by wearing a suit -- you should be able to wear your dress and still be respected.
We need to address and rethink masculine values as well. Men are expected to be stoic and repress their negative emotions, which hurts both genders.
We should have open conversations about how we can tackle gender issues and move beyond gender blindness (pretending gender differences don’t exist).
We’ve made progress in abolishing outdated practices. A hundred years ago, the author’s twin nieces would have been killed at birth, because twins were considered an evil omen in Nigerian Igbo culture. Cultural norms have changed in the past, and they can continue to change.

When Breath Becomes Air

Paul Kalanithi

A deeply moving memoir that explores life, death, and the human experience in the face of mortality.

3.7 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Paul Kalanithi is a neurosurgical resident doing his training at Stanford in his last year. He has earned respect, won awards, and has job offers from major universities. He is looking forward to finishing residency, having kids, and spending time with his wife Lucy.
Paul starts experiencing back pain and gets scans done. The CT scans show Paul's lungs are filled with advanced, stage IV cancer.
Prior to the diagnosis, Paul and Lucy started to have relationship issues, Lucy feels Paul is not confiding in her and that Paul is not spending enough time with her. Lucy decides to move out for a week.
After Paul confirms the cancer diagnosis and shares it with Lucy, she vows to never leave him.
Paul is admitted to the Stanford hospital and feels his hopeful future evaporate.
Paul’s father is Christian and his mother is Hindu. Paul’s grandparents didn’t approve of his parents’ marriage so his parents eloped from India to the United States.
Paul grew up in Kingman, Arizona. His father is a doctor, but Paul didn’t envision himself as a doctor.
His desire to become a writer was influenced by his mother's love for literature.
Before university, Paul reads Jeremy Leven's Satan: His Psychotherapy and Cure by the Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.S.P.S. The book’s idea that the mind is a product of the brain's activity activated his interest in neuroscience.
Paul pursues degrees in English literature and human biology at Stanford. He was driven by the question of what makes life meaningful, and believes both fields offer diverse perspectives on human experience.
Paul applies for a master's in English literature, focusing on Walt Whitman for his thesis. Eventually he realizes he doesn't fit into the English department due to his interest in science.
Paul applies to medical school and is accepted to Yale School of Medicine, where he meets Lucy.
Paul encounters and learns about death from dissecting cadavers and Shep Nuland's book How We Die.
Paul does two years of theoretical study, followed by practical experience in hospitals and clinics.
Post medical school, Paul chooses to return to Standord for residency to specialize in neurosurgery due to his interest in the brain's role in identity.
Paul has an intense schedule at residency with abundant paperwork and being on emergency call, but he realizes the importance of them as lives depend on them.
Paul has concerns about desensitization to death, but a friend's death prompts Paul to emphasize more emotional care for patients.
Mid-residency, Paul studies neuroscience in addition to neurosurgery. V, head of the neuroscience lab, becomes Paul's mentor. V becomes diagnosed with pancreatic cancer but recovers and returns to work.
Paul describes the sixth year as a time-intensive black hole due to copious hours spent in the operating room. The intense focus and precision needed in brain surgery to avoid catastrophic mistakes makes him lose sense of time.
Nearing the end of residency, Paul is reminded of the weight of doctors' responsibility.
Jeff is a doctor friend of Paul’s. One of Jeff's patient dies, leading to Jeff's suicide. Paul wishes he could have shared the lesson that death is inevitable but striving for the patients is still worthwhile.
“Even if you are perfect, the world isn't. The secret is to know that the deck is stacked, that you will lose, that your hands or judgment will slip, and yet still struggle to win for your patients. You can't ever reach perfection, but you can believe in an asymptote toward which you are ceaselessly striving.”
At Paul’s cancer diagnosis, tumors have invaded multiple organs and he believes death is approaching.
Paul’s oncologist Emma lays out treatment but won't give statistics to avoid pessimism.
Paul had grown weak and required his family’s help to perform basic functions.
Positive news emerges when tests show that Paul's cancer, due to a tumor mutation, can be treated with Tarceva, a medication less intense than typical chemotherapy.
Paul and Lucy discuss having a child they’d planned on before the diagnosis. Lucy feels it's Paul's choice since he won't see the child grow up. Paul feels it's Lucy's choice since she may raise the child alone. Eventually, they agree to have a child.
“‘Will having a newborn distract from the time we have together?’ she asked. ‘Don't you think saying goodbye to your child will make your death more painful?’ ‘Wouldn't it be great if it did?’ I said. Lucy and I both felt that life wasn't about avoiding suffering.”
Paul regains strength with treatment and physical therapy. New scans show Paul's lungs nearly tumor-free and his cancer is now stable.
Paul returns to the operating table, refusing to give up his career prematurely. He tailors therapy to build surgeon-specific strength.
Seven months post-return to surgery, Paul's last CT scan before fatherhood and graduation reveals a new lung tumor.
Paul works his final day and cries in the car after he finishes his last surgery.
Paul starts chemotherapy every three weeks, facing weariness and complications.
Paul misses his graduation as he begins vomiting and spends a week at the hospital.
Two days post-hospital release, his daughter Cady was born on July fourth.
Cady brings Paul immense joy, having created something lasting beyond Paul's lifetime.
Paul concludes the book with a message to Cady, expressing that she has given him the greatest joy of his life.
“When you come to one of the many moments in life when you must give an account of yourself, provide a ledger of what you have been, and done, and meant to the world, do not, I pray, discount that you filled a dying man’s days with a sated joy, a joy unknown to me in all my prior years, a joy that does not hunger for more and more, but rests, satisfied. In this time, right now, that is an enormous thing.”
Lucy talks more about Paul’s death in the epilogue.
Paul’s third treatment option fails around Christmas and the cancer spreads to the brain.
Due to the severity of his condition, Emma finally gives an estimate of his remaining time.
Paul focuses on writing the memoir in his last days.
Paul's breathing becomes increasingly challenging and leads to hospitalization.
Paul, concerned about being permanently on a ventilator, opts for "comfort care".
He communicates readiness to die, says goodbye to family, and removes the breathing mask. Paul slips into unconsciousness and takes his last breath.
Lucy notes the memoir is, in a sense, unfinished despite Paul's tireless efforts.
Paul's goal was to help people understand death and confront mortality.
Lucy expresses gratitude for being part of Paul's meaningful life journey and witnessing his dignified approach to death.

Who Moved My Cheese? An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life

Spencer Johnson

A timeless and insightful parable that inspires readers to embrace change and take control of their lives.

2.2 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The book is a parable in which two mice, Sniff and Scurry, and two "little people," Hem and Haw, search for cheese in a maze. It illustrates the way one reacts to major changes in one's work and life, and typical reactions to those changes.
The two mice, Sniff and Scurry, exhibit a simplistic approach to finding cheese in a maze, without overthinking or becoming frustrated.
In contrast, the little people, Hem and Haw, rely on strategies and overthinking, resulting in confusion and depression when unsuccessful.
When Hem and Haw found a vast amount of cheese at a cheese station, they became reliant on it, and their lives revolved around it, mirroring how people can become too dependent on their success.
It is healthier to adopt a more straightforward approach like Sniff and Scurry, and avoid becoming too attached to your achievements like Hem and Haw.
One day Hem and Haw found their cheese station empty, they were unable to cope and kept returning to the station, growing increasingly hungry, depressed, and weak. They were reluctant to move on because they became arrogant from their success and felt they deserved more cheese because of their hard work. They couldn’t accept the reality that the cheese was gone and moaned, “Who moved my cheese?”
Sniff and Scurry, on the other hand, kept an eye out for any changes to the supply of cheese and adapted when they realized their cheese station was dwindling. They did not dwell on their predicament and quickly found another cheese station.
Be prepared for change and don’t get attached to the status quo because good situations don't last forever.
Hem and Haw were too fearful to explore new paths in the maze, and instead resorted to futilely smashing down walls to find food. Eventually Haw started to picture himself sitting on a giant block of cheese and this motivated him to start finding another cheese station.
One way to motivate yourself to tackle your fears is through visualization. It involves visualizing yourself attaining your goals in vivid detail. This will increase your desire to take action.
The fear of beginning a new journey is understandable -- there’s unpredictability and the rules are new -- but we need to overcome it to progress.
Haw found the courage to move on and learned that fear is usually more intense in your mind than in reality. Haw's journey eventually led him to another cheese station, where he found plenty of cheese.
During Haws journey, he carved two messages on the walls for encouragement:
"If You Do Not Change, You Can Become Extinct"
"What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?"
Hem remained paralyzed by the fear of venturing out. He stayed at the empty cheese station frustrated and malnourished.
Moving in a new direction can help you conquer your fears and improve your situation.
You might still find yourself in a "cheeseless" situation on some of your new ventures, but there is always new cheese to be found. By stepping outside your comfort zone, you can find new opportunities for joy and success.
The more risks you take, the less fearful and more confident you become.
Despite finding the new cheese station, Haw continued to explore the maze, searching for other stashes after learning from his experience.
Haw wrote on the largest wall he could find the lessons he’s learned:
Change happens: They keep moving the cheese
Anticipate change: Get ready for the cheese to move
Monitor change: Smell the cheese often so you know when it’s getting old
Adapt to change quickly: The quicker you let go of old cheese, the sooner you can enjoy new cheese
Change: Move with the cheese
Enjoy change: Savor the adventure and enjoy the taste of new cheese
Be ready to change quickly and enjoy it again: They keep moving the cheese
One day, Haw heard someone approaching his station and hoped that it might be his friend Hem.

Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams

Matthew Walker

A revolutionary exploration of sleep and how it affects our physical and mental well-being.

2.1 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Sleep is crucial for our health and functionality. It is a vital part of memory consolidation, emotional regulation, and physical restoration. Sleep deprivation has negative impacts on individuals and society.
Sleep deprivation leads to increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, and cancer, as well as impaired cognitive function and emotional regulation.
Factors that influence sleep include age, genetics, and environment.
We all have our own body clock, also called circadian rhythm. It’s our natural 24-hour cycle that affects our sleep, appetite, mood, and metabolism.
Circadian rhythms vary from person to person, which can cause problems for the 30% of the population who are "night owls." These people have a natural inclination to stay up late and wake up late, but society's morning-oriented schedule can lead to sleep deprivation and its associated health problems.
There is a strong link between sleep deprivation and cardiovascular diseases. Less sleep raises blood pressure, which damages the walls of blood vessels and increases the risk of heart problems.
A massive study involving more than 500,000 worldwide participants found that lack of sleep increases a person’s risk of having cardiovascular disease by 45%.
A study in Japan found those who slept six hours or less per night were 500% more likely to have a cardiac arrest.
If diet and exercise are the pillars of health, then sleep is the foundation.
All animals need sleep, but the amount and type of sleep required varies greatly. Humans need eight hours a day. Elephants sleep for four hours a day. Bats are only awake for five hours a day. Sharks sleep with their eyes open since they have no eyelids.
All non-aquatic mammals and birds experience rapid-eye-movement (REM) sleep, during which dreaming happens, while other animals do not.
Sleep deprivation can make you a danger to society, particularly when driving. Getting less than seven hours of sleep increases your chances of entering microsleep -- involuntary sleep that lasts just a few seconds. Thus your chances of being involved in an accident also increases.
Additionally, driving while drowsy is just as dangerous as driving while drunk. A study found that sleep-deprived individuals performed similarly poorly on a concentration test as those who were legally drunk. It's important to remember that driving while drowsy is just as irresponsible as driving under the influence of alcohol.
Although most sleepwalking is harmless, it can lead to dangerous consequences, as seen in the case of Kenneth Parks who unknowingly killed his mother-in-law during a sleepwalking episode.
Research shows that people are not dreaming as they’re sleepwalking, because they’re not in REM sleep while sleepwalking. Sleepwalking is more common in children than adults, potentially due to spending less time in REM sleep.
Tips to improve sleep:
Avoid alcohol or smoking. Alcohol makes it harder for the body to enter deep sleep, and large quantities can impair breathing while asleep. Nicotine is a stimulant, so smokers tend to sleep lightly and often wake up earlier due to withdrawal.
Taking a hot shower or bath before bed can relax the body and mind, and the drop in body temperature that results from getting out of the bath can induce drowsiness.
Getting natural sunlight during the day helps to regulate sleep patterns.
Keep the room temperature lower during the night.
If you are unable to fall asleep within 20 minutes, then try doing a calming task until you become drowsy.
Open the bedroom curtains before going to sleep to allow sunlight to enter in the morning, which will wake the body naturally instead of being jolted awake by an alarm.
Sleep is not a luxury but a biological necessity, and society needs to prioritize it in order to improve our overall health and well-being.

You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

Jen Sincero

An inspiration for readers to stop doubting themselves and unlock their inner badass in this fun, practical guidebook to empowerment.

3.8 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The Big Snooze refers to your subconscious that’s molded by negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. These come from messages you constantly received early in life that have been internalized. They’re holding you back from success and happiness.
If you heard “No one in the family is good academically” while growing up, you might be discouraged from going to a good college.
If your parents did not have a good relationship, you might expect the same in your relationships and be hesitant to pursue healthy intimacy.
Love yourself fully to replace your negative thoughts. Repeat mantras and affirmations frequently and consistently. Remind yourself of how awesome you are whenever you have a spare moment.
E.g., when you are waiting in line, repeat to yourself “I am smart, beautiful, and a badass.”
“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”
As kids, we did what we wanted, but as we grew up, we lost touch with our inner wisdom and started doing what others expect. This leads to unsatisfying jobs, relationships, and lives.
Regain your inner agency by stop comparing yourself to others and stop thinking about what others think.
Everyone is unique and experiences different circumstances. If The Beatles compared themselves to Beethoven, they would not have achieved their revolutionary status.
Caring what others think holds you back from fulfillment. Don’t let others dictate what you want to do. E.g., attempt your dream of being a writer even if your family thinks it’s a waste of time.
“What other people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.”
“Because if you base your self-worth on what everyone else thinks of you, you hand all your power over to other people and become dependent on a source outside of yourself for validation. Then you wind up chasing after something you have no control over, and should that something suddenly place its focus somewhere else, or change its mind and decide you’re no longer very interesting, you end up with a full-blown identity crisis.”
Understand, appreciate, and admire how unique and special you are.
“You are perfect. To think anything less is as pointless as a river thinking that it’s got too many curves or that it moves too slowly or that its rapids are too rapid. Says who?… You are the only you there is and ever will be.
We all have unique gifts to share, and life is more fulfilling when we use them for a purpose. When unsure of your purpose, just take action on anything and see if it feels right.
The Law of Attraction states that similar frequencies attract one another. In other words, there is an invisible Source Energy made up of frequencies that permeate our universe, and the universe will respond with frequencies similar to the ones you emit. If you emit positivity, you will experience more positivity back from the universe. Conversely, if you are negative, you’ll attract more negative experiences.
E.g., always feeling jealous will bring more things into your life that make you jealous.
Your thoughts create your reality. To transform your life, change your mindset. By shifting your beliefs and perspectives, you begin manifesting a new reality and will notice signs of change all around you.
Fake it until you make it. Think of yourself as already being the person you aspire to become. For example, if you want to be a good public speaker, imagine yourself giving a confident and inspiring speech in front of a crowd. Be detailed in your imagination. This type of visualization will propel you forward.
Meditation is a simple, effective way to connect with the Source Energy. Sit quietly, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. When thoughts arise, gently return your attention to your breath. Meditation will reduce stress, make you realize the inconsequence of your worries, and unclutter your mind.
Embrace the attitude of a life-long learner. Approach new challenges with curiosity and a willingness to improve. Don’t expect perfection. This reduces pressure and you’ll welcome failure as a lesson instead of fearing it.
Give and you will receive. To draw positive experiences into your life, radiate positivity outward. When you send kindness, care, and goodwill to others, it will be returned to you.
Go with the flow. Embrace life's twists and turns with optimism and positivity, see them as opportunities to grow and live a fuller life.
Cultivate gratitude daily. Express thanks for the good things in your life. This keeps positivity forefront in your mind and uplifts others too. Try writing down 10 things you're grateful for, big or small, before bed each night.
Practice forgiveness. If someone hurts you, forgiveness allows you to move forward versus staying stuck in the past. The same applies to forgiving yourself for mistakes -- once you've made amends, self-acceptance lets you break free of regret.
When you dislike someone, you're likely projecting your own insecurities. To stop, first own your faults. Notice what irritates you -- is it a suppressed or missing quality in yourself? Realize that these negative feelings have no benefit and let them go.
Cut ties with chronically negative and toxic people if needed.
Achieving goals require action, but procrastination and hesitation often gets in the way.
Procrastination often stems from fear of failure. When that happens, remind yourself of the purpose of your goals. If your purpose isn’t motivating enough to drive you to action, then reevaluate it.
Hesitation often comes from the fear of judgment and becoming someone you dislike. Stop judging yourself and others. Deeply consider if reaching your goals will make you happy. If the answer is yes, then you’ll become less hesitant to act.
Refocus your energy on making excuses onto taking action.
Don’t get overwhelmed. Remember to listen to your body and take care of your health.
Rejection and failure is a part of the journey. Don’t let them stop you from reaching your goals. Pursuing a goal requires perseverance.
Michael Jordan worked even harder after he was cut from his high school varsity team.
Steven Spielberg was rejected from film school three times.
“So often, we pretend we’ve made a decision, when what we’ve really done is signed up to try until it gets too uncomfortable.”
Surround yourself with an environment and people that drive you towards your goal. It is worthwhile to change your surroundings if they are hindering you.
Reflect on how you think about money. It's good to be responsible, but also justify splurging if it will improve your life and advance your goals. Use finances as a tool to live your dreams.
Get out of your comfort zone, believe in yourself, break your bad habits, and stop thinking about making a change and decide to act.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values

Robert M. Pirsig

An interweaving story of a transcontinental motorcycle journey and an obsession with a philosophical concept called Quality -- a concoction of the subjective and objective, and the intellectual and emotional.

3.7 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

The book follows the narrator and his 11-year-old son Chris, along with friends John and Sylvia Sutherland, on a motorcycle trip from Minnesota to San Francisco.
As they travel, the narrator provides journal-like descriptions and lengthy philosophical meditations he calls "Chautauquas" on topics like technology and how to live a meaningful life.
The narrator experiences a haunting sense of déjà vu, gradually realizing he is being revisited by his former self, Phaedrus, who suffered a mental breakdown years ago.
Tension builds within the group, especially between the narrator and Chris, as the narrator becomes preoccupied with recalling his troubled past identity.
The narrator comes to believe the shock treatments he received destroyed Phaedrus's personality, resulting in his current self emerging from the mental institution as someone new.
As they reach Montana, the narrator remembers his former self as Phaedrus -- a brilliant but troubled philosophy student and professor at Montana State University in Bozeman.
The narrator becomes apprehensive revisiting places Phaedrus knew, experiencing nightmares involving glass doors that frighten Chris.
After the Sutherlands depart and return home, the narrator visits his old university office, where a woman recognizes him and sarcastically references “Quality” -- the idea that precipitated Phaedrus's eventual mental breakdown.
As the narrator and Chris continue west, the narrator recounts Phaedrus's obsessive search for the meaning of Quality before his mental breakdown.
Phaedrus applied innovative teaching methods focused on Quality to motivate his rhetoric students to become better, but began doubting formal education as his fixation grew.
Western thought is divided into two modes: the classical mode and the romantic mode. The rational, unemotional classical mode, exemplified by mechanics and engineers, focuses on understanding the technical details, underlying systems, and logical problem-solving to bring order and control.
In contrast to the narrator's classical mode of rational thinking, the Sutherlands represent the romantic mode driven by emotions and creativity. They refuse to learn how to fix their own motorcycle, even for cost savings, because engaging with the technology's inner workings would compromise the aesthetic beauty they admire in the vehicle.
The Sutherlands resent the increasing power of technology in their lives, so their unwillingness to understand the mechanics is a way of fighting against the rational, systematic mindset the narrator embodies.
“When analytic thought, the knife, is applied to experience, something is always killed in the process.”
“But to tear down a factory or to revolt against a government or to avoid repair of a motorcycle because it is a system is to attack effects rather than causes; and as long as the attack is upon effects only, no change is possible… If a revolution destroys a systematic government, but the systematic patterns of thought that produced that government are left intact, then those patterns will repeat themselves in the succeeding government.”
“The doctrinal differences between Hinduism and Buddhism and Taoism are not anywhere near as important as doctrinal differences among Christianity and Islam and Judaism. Holy wars are not fought over them because verbalized statements about reality are never presumed to be reality itself.”
“You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it's going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it's always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt.”
While the narrator represents the classical mind, Phaedrus had the ability to combine both classical and romantic thinking modes.
Phaedrus developed the philosophy of Quality as a way to reconcile the divide between the classical and romantic modes of thought that he believed caused dissatisfaction in modern society.
Quality integrates the romantic appreciation for chaos and richness of experiences into the classical quest for rational order. It reflects on how we should select and assemble our perception of reality from the infinite pool of potential stimuli by combining the classical dissecting of perceptions and the romantic exaltation of the world's complexity.
Meanwhile on the trip, Chris struggles to prove himself, pushing too hard climbing until the narrator aborts due to rockslide concerns. This allows the narrator to break from Phaedrus's memories and develop his own ideas on Quality.
“What he’s looking for, what he wants, is all around him, but he doesn’t want that because it is all around him. Every step’s an effort, both physically and spiritually, because he imagines his goal to be external and distant.”
The narrator realizes he can illustrate Quality through motorcycle maintenance. He uses a stuck screw to explain “stuckness” and argue the central problem is relying solely on reason and objectivity while disregarding human passion and emotion. Uniting the objective and subjective is important to grasping Quality and achieving peace of mind with one's surroundings.
“We have artists with no scientific knowledge and scientists with no artistic knowledge and both with no spiritual sense of gravity at all, and the result is not just bad, it is ghastly.”
“Peace of mind produces right values, right values produce right thoughts. Right thoughts produce right actions and right actions produce work which will be a material reflection for others to see of the serenity at the center of it all.”
Those strong in the humanities should learn more about the mechanics of everyday technologies, while those oriented towards science should engage with poetry, journaling, art, and other modes of emotional expression.
“The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands, and then work outward from there.”
“Anxiety, the next gumption trap, is sort of the opposite of ego. You're so sure you'll do everything wrong you're afraid to do anything at all. Often this, rather than ‘laziness’, is the real reason you find it hard to get started.”
The narrator recounts the days leading up to Phaedrus's mental breakdown. In Chicago pursuing a PhD, Phaedrus's grueling schedule and teaching rhetoric, alongside clashing with a professor, exacerbates his torment until he withdraws.
Consumed by pondering Quality, Phaedrus deteriorates until his wife commits him, and he receives traumatic electroshock therapy against his will, emerging with a new identity as the narrator.
Chris remarks the narrator was more fun as Phaedrus, subconsciously realizing his "real father" is gone.
The narrator begins to accept Phaedrus is still a part of himself.
Chris reveals the glass door from the narrator's nightmares was the real door separating visitors from patients in Phaedrus’s hostpial that Chris longed for Phaedrus to open. The narrator explains he wanted to open it but was not allowed to, restoring Chris's confidence that his father still loved him.

Zero to One: Notes on Startups, or How to Build the Future

Peter Thiel with Blake Masters

A business book that provides insights into building successful startups and creating a better future through innovation.

3.6 minutes to read

littlerbooks.com

Startups are the only organizations that can create truly innovative products because they are not constrained by the bureaucracy and risk-aversion of larger companies.
It is now easy to start a new business, but most startups fail.
The future is defined by progress made during a given time, which can be categorized into horizontal progress (expanding on existing ideas, going from one to n) and vertical progress (creating something new, going from zero to one).
Increasing production and the availability of smartphones is horizontal progress. Inventing the smartphone is vertical progress.
Vertical progress is hard to predict as it requires imagining something that does not yet exist.
The ability to see the present differently is critical to predict the future. The author asks, “What important truth do very few people agree with you on?” in job interviews to test this ability.
Many people think indefinitely about the future, which means they try to consider all possible outcomes. This isn’t helpful because there are too many unknown variables to account for.
Success is a product of focused effort. You need to be the architect of your own future.
Being exceptional in one specific subject yields more success than being mediocre at several subjects.
The success of a startup is largely determined by correctly identifying the ideal market and timing, and acting purposefully on it when the conditions are right.
Contrary to what many may suggest, monopolies are not inherently bad. In fact, they are good for society as they drive innovation and progress.
Monopolies arise when a company is doing something much better than its competitors so that its competitors can’t survive.
Monopolies allow companies to invest in research and development without worrying about competition.
Consumers benefit from the superior product the monopoly provides.
Being a monopoly can be considered a precondition for highly profitable businesses, because you can set your own prices. If your product is comparable to those of your competitors, you’ll need to lower prices to attract customers.
The airline industry is competitive and without a monopoly. In 2012, one passenger ticket generated only $0.37 of profit, while Google’s profit is > 25% of its revenue.
Monopolies usually have four characteristics: technological advantage, network effect, economy of scale, and strong brand.
Technological advantage means their proprietary technology is much better (usually 10x better) than anyone else's.
Network effect means the more people use their product, the more useful it is (e.g., Facebook).
Economy of scale refers to the cost savings gained by producing something on a large scale instead of a small one (Nike can make shoes for much cheaper than a local shop).
Strong brand means people recognize it or trust it, and it can't be replicated (e.g., Apple).
The world still has many secrets to uncover. Secrets are important truths that most people don’t know about or don’t agree with. The fact that slavery is unacceptable, for example, was a secret at one point in history.
To maintain an advantage, you should seek and chase secrets. Tech companies’ secret is having better technology than their competitors.
Hewlett-Packard's success in the 1990s was due to its innovative products, but it lost half its market value when it stopped inventing new products.
Building a successful company takes years of work. It might not make a profit until much later, but it still has value.
Value is calculated by the profit the company makes throughout its entire lifespan.
During the early days of PayPal, which the author co-founded, the author calculated the company wouldn't make much profit until ten years later, but the company obviously still had tremendous value.
Start small, expand incrementally. Focus on your special area of business. The narrower and more specific your target market is, the easier for you to have a monopoly. Expand your market to broader areas after you’ve achieved monopoly.
Amazon started by only selling books online. It expanded to sell other items only after it achieved a monopoly in the online bookstore business.
Building a solid foundation is crucial for start-ups to survive in the long run. Finding the right people, balancing owner interests, and instilling a strong culture are key components.
The founders should not only have skills and a shared vision, they should also have close relationships. The author has seen examples of companies failing due to weak ties between the founders.
A strong culture means the people in the company enjoy working with each other. It makes the company more effective.
Some founders may be more interested in building rather than selling. However, sales is a necessity in any business.
Distribution refers to the company’s system of selling products. A good distribution considers the potential value of each client and assigns the appropriate resources to make the sale.
For example, the author’s data analytics company, Palantir, would often have the author himself close deals that are worth millions.
Use proven sales strategies to help improve your sales. Don’t avoid them because they might have a negative connotation of being manipulative.
One of the best ways to sell a product is to create a narrative around it that resonates with people.
To set up your startup for success, ask the seven questions below. If you have good answers to five or six of the questions, then you might succeed. If you nail all seven, then your success is pretty much guaranteed.
The Engineering question: Can you create breakthrough technology (10x better) instead of incremental improvements? E.g., email is > 10x more effective than letter mail.
The Timing question: Is now the right time to start your particular business?
The Monopoly question: Are you starting with a big share of a small market?
The People question: Do you have the right team? I.e., does your team have the necessary skills (technical and non-technical) and relationships?
The Distribution question: Do you have a way to not just create but deliver your product?
The Durability question: Will your market position be defensible ten and twenty years into the future?
The Secret Question: Have you identified a unique opportunity that others don’t see?
Founders of successful companies tend to be somewhat unusual. Four of PayPal’s founding team built bombs as teenagers for fun.
Originality in founders is important. An original founder has a vision, which inspires people and is fundamental to a company’s prolonged success. Steve Jobs is an example of a leader who’s original and had a vision.

LittlerBooks.com